Author Topic: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?  (Read 6150 times)

littlebird

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #50 on: June 28, 2018, 08:04:57 AM »
I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and the main takeaway that I got from it was how to reset mentally on getting rid of stuff. A couple things that helped me:
1) Recognize that the item served its purpose at whatever phase of life it was acquired. That doesn't mean it needs to be kept forever.
2) Thank the item for its service. Sounds woo, but it actually helps me.

A couple other things I do:
1) Take a picture of the item if I want to remember it. I keep photo albums, so ymmv on that.
2) Give stuff away in my local Buy Nothing Project. I get some feel good out of giving stuff to actual people who want it.
3) If an item can be acquired for under $20, in under 20 minutes and I haven't used it in at least a year I move it along. No need to be storing tons of small, junky items.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #51 on: June 28, 2018, 08:11:00 AM »
Linda_Norway, would a tablet screen work for the mushrooms? i.e., It sounds like being able to enlarge the photo would work as well as using a large screen.

Trying2bFrugal

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #52 on: June 28, 2018, 01:10:11 PM »
I'm moving again. The sheer amount of shit I've been carrying around with me is a serious drag. I've got school papers, some all the way back to junior high. I've got bandshirts from almost every concert I've been too. I've got books I don't read taking up space I barely have. I've got tools I've used in a previous career that I want to use again....one day, but haven't touched in 5 years. Knick knacks and mementos from relationships. It's kind of depressing at times because a lot of this crap reminds me of failed ventures and of hopeful dreaming. One day I'll put this stuff to use! Someday I'll accomplish what I wanted with this thing. Sometimes feels like total failure to contemplate throwing something out. Ugh.

So what say you guys? Any sort of facepunch logic medicine that might tick me off enough to toss the garbage? Some mental tricks to circumvent my proto-hoarding tendencies? I've tossed a lot of junk and donated a lot to Goodwill,zero it seems I'm paring down to the "essentials" and the  I come across boxes and boxes of stuff I figure to deal with later. Obviouslylogically trash, but emotionally, it feels like pulling teeth out of my face.

Oy, ok, time to move more crap....

I moved about 30 places in last 15 years. Each time i move,
(1) i get rid of anything i didnt used in last six months.
(2) I start packing with things which are absolutely required for my new place. Then look at the remaining as a third person to think if it is absolutely needed.
(3) If someone needed or can be donated, I give that away. Or i just trash the remaining.

On my last move, i trashed my laser printer, computer table, old sofa, etc., even though they are functional they werent absolutely needed. After 1 year when i needed them I bought them.

Now i became like a zen master who doesnt have desire on material things. My moves are no more painful to me.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #53 on: June 28, 2018, 01:18:48 PM »
Linda_Norway, would a tablet screen work for the mushrooms? i.e., It sounds like being able to enlarge the photo would work as well as using a large screen.

Nope, the website checks that you are using a real computer.

rolliefingers

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #54 on: June 28, 2018, 02:38:36 PM »
We just moved.  Sold the new homeowners much of the heavy stuff.  Gave much of the light stuff to Goodwill.  You will not miss it after 2 weeks.

I'm moving again. The sheer amount of shit I've been carrying around with me is a serious drag. I've got school papers, some all the way back to junior high. I've got bandshirts from almost every concert I've been too. I've got books I don't read taking up space I barely have. I've got tools I've used in a previous career that I want to use again....one day, but haven't touched in 5 years. Knick knacks and mementos from relationships. It's kind of depressing at times because a lot of this crap reminds me of failed ventures and of hopeful dreaming. One day I'll put this stuff to use! Someday I'll accomplish what I wanted with this thing. Sometimes feels like total failure to contemplate throwing something out. Ugh.

So what say you guys? Any sort of facepunch logic medicine that might tick me off enough to toss the garbage? Some mental tricks to circumvent my proto-hoarding tendencies? I've tossed a lot of junk and donated a lot to Goodwill,zero it seems I'm paring down to the "essentials" and the  I come across boxes and boxes of stuff I figure to deal with later. Obviouslylogically trash, but emotionally, it feels like pulling teeth out of my face.

Oy, ok, time to move more crap....

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #55 on: June 28, 2018, 07:05:53 PM »
Linda_Norway, would a tablet screen work for the mushrooms? i.e., It sounds like being able to enlarge the photo would work as well as using a large screen.

Nope, the website checks that you are using a real computer.

Interesting! Very curious about why this is, but I guess that should be a different thread...

JAYSLOL

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #56 on: June 28, 2018, 11:52:56 PM »
I can so relate to the OP, I have the exact same challenges.  I don't find it hard to throw out old clothes or papers, but anything with a "use" like tools or whatever I have a hard time not hoarding.  Like camping gear, seriously I go camping once or twice a year at most, but I've got like 3 tents and enough tarps and other camping gear to set up a legit refugee camp in my backyard.  Don't even get me started on fishing gear

Linea_Norway

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #57 on: June 29, 2018, 02:50:06 AM »
I can so relate to the OP, I have the exact same challenges.  I don't find it hard to throw out old clothes or papers, but anything with a "use" like tools or whatever I have a hard time not hoarding.  Like camping gear, seriously I go camping once or twice a year at most, but I've got like 3 tents and enough tarps and other camping gear to set up a legit refugee camp in my backyard.  Don't even get me started on fishing gear

We are in the same situation. Solution: buy a cabin. There you can store all the old versions of your camping gear, hiking boots, dishes, etc.

If you have older, but still useful tents that you don't use anymore, you should consider given them away for free.

Bee21

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #58 on: June 29, 2018, 02:57:02 AM »
Whenever i am angry or frustrated I clean and I chuck away a few things. Cathartic. In 10 minutes I can fill 2 large bags with whatnots. I never missed any one of them. The kids also have learnt that whatever they leave on the floor is gone, if it looks like rubbish it is rubbish. They still manage to provide me with endless piles to chuck, but whatever.

I used to be so attached to my stuff (the poverty mindset of i might need it later) but these days i regard my stuff as something i have to look after, carry home, find a spot for, shuffle around, clean, discard, and it is just getting too hard. regular cleaning is the best cure for recreational shoppers, we just realize how much stuff we have and we don't use. I recommend tidying and purging regularly, that truly prevents me from adding more stuff.

We just stayed with my parents who have 60 years worth of accumulated stuff +stuff inherited from grandparents, for a week, and it was painful. They have 4 bedrooms and couldn't clear up 1 shelf for me to keep our clothes on during the visit. Everything is so full and they use a fraction of it. Mum keeps the regularly used plates and glasses on the kitchen counter (so full, one can barely cook there) as the cupboards are full with the good stuff nobody uses. It is impossible to clean and dust properly. I could barely breathe at a point.

the biggest roadblocks to clearing the clutter are
#i might need it later.
Solution- somebody needs it NOW. You can always find it second hand or borrow it later.
# I paid good money for it (books, gadgets, clothes)
Answer- yes, and i got my money's worth of it. It cost me 23$ to read that book and it provided me with x hours of entertainment. Now it can go.

Some people can successfully sell their unwanted stuff. I am not one of those. I donate. if you are collecting piles with the intention of selling it someday or passing them on to xyz, please don't. Sell them right now or if you don't have the time right now drop them off at the nearest charity asap.

i don't have an answer for sentimental clutter. Keep only what is precious and what can be a legacy.


Lmoot

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #59 on: June 29, 2018, 05:16:14 AM »
I like containers (plastic, not cardboard...silverfish ick). Not only do they keep things organized, but they are a physical limititation to how much of each type of item you can keep.

1) Determine the size of container/s for each category of item (tools, books, stored clothes, mementos, etc)

2) Create 3 large spots in a bare area (definitely keep, not sure, donate, ). I like to mark off the 3 spots with painter's tape

3) Set out your boxes/containers, with tape and marker for labeling; try to keep like with like (ex: cords/electronics, tools, mementos, photos, office supplies, crafts/gift wrapping)

4) Indiscriminately haul out everything you own, in chunks; bring a box of heavy duty garbage bags for obvious trash to go right into

5) When a section fills the tape border, empty it appropriately (if keeping, place in designated container; if donating, physically put it in your car and drive it to donation spot; if unsure, you don't have to make a decision on everything yet, but try to make space in the section by seeing if there is anything you are ok placing in the other 2 piles. I find that after at least one round of filling the sections and placing things in boxes, and donating...it re-calibrates my expectations and the fate of those items in the "unsure" section become a little more clear.

* I like to do paper separately, since it takes so much time. Once a year or so, I'll touch every paper I own (except for mementos and medical records), throwing out what's no longer valid or needed. I keep them in labeled folders (warranties, receipts, taxes, financial, car stuff, house stuff, pet stuff, misc) and will go through a couple of folders per day until I get through them all. I also only do electronic billing when possible.

This works for me and ensures I don't get rid of too many things I'll regret. I have a couple boxes of mementos that I literally want to keep just so I can look at them every few years. Perhaps that's silly, but since I've restrained them to a certain amount of boxes, they're not hurting anything. It can be a fun an therapeutic process. I usually bring out wine and music/netflix too.

I also like this method because it allows you to lay things out long-term, without it melding back into the rest of the house (as long as you keep them in their taped borders). And you can do as little or as much as you'd like in a day.

August

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #60 on: June 30, 2018, 09:27:51 AM »
I tended to keep leftover materials, tools, parts, objects around so that I could fix or repair things around the house.  So keeping this stuff was a way to save money and avoid buying new things every time I need something.

I believed this was good because I was being being frugal and resourceful.  But when my stockpile of junk got big enough that I had to rent space for it, I realized I had too much.  The amount of money I was spending to store it, and the time I spent sorting and organizing it, was way more than the cost of buying an occasional new thing.

The mental trick I can share is that when you decide to keep something, it's not free.  It still costs something to keep an object with you.  The cost can be money/rent, it can be the mental cost of keeping track of the responsibility for it, or it could be the opportunity cost of the object taking up a space that could be used for something else that you value more.

The decision to keep something is not maintaining your life the same as it was, you are making A CHOICE to keep it instead of doing something else.  Realizing this was useful to me in decluttering.

Mezzie

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #61 on: June 30, 2018, 12:53:26 PM »
After a lot of less emotional decluttering, I've moved on to the hard stuff: journals, letters, first teddy bear, gjfts from loved ones... I feel better every time I let something go. I've also learned most adults didn't hang on to all that to begin with.

I gave a rule of one sentimental item per grandparent that is currently serving me well.

formerlydivorcedmom

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Re: Mentally, how do you get rid of your sh!t?
« Reply #62 on: July 02, 2018, 02:52:00 PM »
I gave a rule of one sentimental item per grandparent that is currently serving me well.

@Mezzie , that is a great rule than can lead to interesting stories.  My grandmother kept only one item from her childhood - an umbrella that her father bought her when she was a little girl.  My sister and I thought that it was the weirdest keepsake and clamored to hear stories about why that was important to her.

I hope that the items you choose to keep become great bridges for the rest of your family to learn more about you too.