Meeting significant other outside of city you live in?

[wealthviahealth]

Has anyone met their significant other in a different city than they live in? Ie work or personal travel, long distance- dating apps etc..

[GuitarStv]

I have seen several friends try long distance relationships over the years.  Unfortunately there haven't been any success stories.

[Morning Glory]

My cousin met her husband on a work trip, and they have been married 14 years. She was coincidentally planning a move to the city he lived in anyway,  so they weren't long-distance for very long.

My dad also met his current wife while vacationing with mutual friends , but they lived in the same city (just didn't meet there). Not sure if that counts.

Just thought of another one. An old work friend just married a guy from another country who she met in Las Vegas, after doing long distance for 2 years in the pandemic. 

[sonofsven]

I'm in a long distance relationship (11 years, since my divorce), but we're only 1.75 hours apart. Not married, either, by mutual agreement, but fully committed to each other.

[Adventine]

I met my husband through this forum. We'd known each other by our MMM forum handles for a few years, but when we started really talking in depth, he flew from the US to Asia to meet me in person for the first time. We were in a long distance relationship for a bit, but almost immediately agreed that wasn't sustainable. Now we live in the US.

[iluvzbeach]

When I met my DH, we lived in large cities about 1 1/2 hours apart. We eventually got married and ended up living together in the same city.

Prior to meeting DH, I had a history of dating guys who lived in different cities than me. One even lived 8 hours (by car) away. I finally figured out that my dating guys who were geographically undesirable was a self-protection mechanism.

[BlueHouse]

My sister met her husband at the blackjack table in a casino on a caribbean island.   Next month is their 25th anniversary. My BIL says it was a good thing that they hit it off so fast because he couldn't afford many more $25 hands.   

[SquashingDebt]

I met my partner when he lived about an hour away from me (on a dating app) and after 2 dates, he let me know he was moving for a new job - 20 hours drive away.  The first two dates had gone so well that I agreed to keep seeing him.  We got two visits in, then COVID hit.  But now he's moved back, still working for the same job but remote, and we're living together and engaged!

The secret was LOTS of FaceTime.  Like hours a day.  Sustainable during lockdown! Haha.

[Freedomin5]

I met my DH in Turkey on a college experience trip. We attended different universities in different small towns, but were both from Toronto, living about an hour away on different ends of town. Then I moved to LA for grad school, he stayed in Toronto for work, and then he moved to San Francisco for work. I don't think we actually lived together in the same city until after we married. We've been married 15 years.

Daily face time / phone calls and a commitment to each other was what made it work for us. We got engaged the summer before I started grad school.

[Zikoris]

Not me, but a couple I'm friends with met like that. The guy was in town for an event, they met and he liked her, the next day he got back home, packed up and moved to her city and rented the apartment across the street from her. They're married with kids now.

[Dreamer40]

I met my DH when he was visiting the area where I lived on his spring break. We went out a few times then stayed in touch. We were young and doing our own grad programs but really hit it off. Got married a few years later when we finished our school programs and could live in the same city. Long distance is fine if you’re obviously a great match and have similar communication preferences, can spend time together on a regular basis (like we managed to occasionally schedule summers or vacations in the same place), and there is an end in sight.

[Sailor Sam]

My experience was like @spartana, dual active duty married couple. I’m on ships, she was a pilot. It ended in divorce a year ago, but not because of distance. Or, not solely because of distance.

At this point I don’t anticipate another long distance relationship, but I’m also going to be pretty pick about other elements.

[nessness]

I met my husband while I was home from college for the summer - he lived about 30 minutes from my hometown. We dated long distance for three years while I finished college and got my master's, generally seeing each other once a month (except the summer after I graduated college where we saw each other almost daily). Then we got married and moved in together simultaneously.

We're still happily married 11 years later, but in general I wouldn't recommend that approach - going straight from long distance to marriage was A LOT.

[big_owl]

My wife and I are HS sweethearts who went to the same HS but different colleges and then ultimately lived in different states for a couple years before moving in together.  During the college years it took a lot of sacrifice to keep it together and same with when we lived in different states.  This was before smart phones and social media or texting so it was even harder back then.

I saved all my email from that period and there are some real tear jerker letters in there, I'm not sure where my inner Romeo came from.  And I remember one semester I had a $1600 phone bill. 

But it paid off in the end.  Been 25yrs together now and things are good.  I won't blow sunshine up your ass and say it was easy though.  It took a lot of dedication and trust on both sides. 

[Ladychips]

My bestie came to see me (one state over) for my birthday. Just before leaving the bar she met a dude who lived five states away.  I told her to get in the car because she was never gonna see that guy again. They celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary last week.

When they met, he was in training for a new job. At the end of training, he had several choices for states.  He chose the one where they met.  He moved, she moved, and they lived happily ever after.

[Greystache]

I went to a wedding recently for a couple who met 2 years ago at a mutual friends dinner party. She was from Texas and he was from Pennsylvania. They did the long distance relationship thing for the entire time and moved to Colorado when they married. So, it can work.

[simonsez]

Yep, did long distance on two different occasions in college.  The first didn't work out while girlfriend (who is a fabulous person I/we keep in touch with once or twice a year, just the stars weren't aligned at the time and we agreed to break up on pretty mutually-agreed terms) was studying abroad - the 7 hour time difference and the tech at the time (calling on my cell phone was $3/minute so no..., not talking on the phone) ultimately proved to be too much.  The 2nd time we were both stateside and only one time zone apart.  ~16 years together, upcoming 10th wedding anny, going strong!

I'm a direct person normally and when geography is an omnipresent factor to account for, I found it refreshing for both adults to naturally cut through the bull and talk about the future and how we saw it unfolding.  This increased communication on some of the "real" topics kept us actively engaged with each other and our eyes on the big picture.  It was hard in some MANY ways but easy in others, they were formative years, but it takes two to tango and we happened to be aligned on many things.  I wouldn't recommend a distance relationship as something to seek out, but life happens and it's either worth pursuing or it's not.

Enjoyed reading other's stories!  I've helped some now-married friends meet (via hosting a mutual friends dinner party for my wife's 30th birthday) who also did long-distance, albeit more manageable (Chicago - St Louis for the time they lived apart).  It's fun and satisfying to see something work out.  They had their first child a year ago and now we're headed to the lakehouse together this weekend for an adult fun in the sun trip.  Life is good!  We all have interesting stories of where we come from and where we are going!

[economista]

I met my husband 4 years before we started dating and we were on the same sports team for that entire time. The week he moved 1.5 hours away we started dating and did the pseudo-long distance thing for 2 years before I moved to his new city. 2 years later we got married and moved back to the city we started from. We've now been married for 5 years.

[tweezers]

My husband and I met through a mutual friend and lived 2 hours apart on opposite sides of the US-Canada border.  We cross-border dated for 2 years, and have been happily married for 15 years (he moved to where I was living when we married).

[wealthviahealth]

This community is truly wonderful. Thank you all for sharing these stories; really helpful!

[CupcakeGuru]

I met my husband at work. He was a consultant on a temporary gig. He was in the same city as mine for about 4 months, the gig ended and he went back home. We did the long distance relationship for about 7 months before I picked up and moved to his city. We are about to celebrate our 21st anniversary!

[zygote]

Yes. I met my wife through mutual friends. We talked a lot online/through social media before meeting in person, and were still friends for a year or two after that before we starting dating. Though we were long distance at the beginning, I had always planned to end up in the city where she was, so the long distance only lasted about 7 months before I could make the move.