Need help--job opportunity has me in knots!

[Lucky Girl]

I am turning into an emotional mess over a job opportunity, and I don't even like work and want to retire as soon as possible, so I could use some Mustachian perspective please!

My current job is not perfect, but is a fairly good fit for me, I have a lot of seniority in the company and have arranged my hours to suit my family.  If I continue to earn what I do now I can probably retire in 4-5 years.  My boss requires a high level of managing up but I am learning to do it and think I can stick it out till I'm FI.

A recruiter contacted me about an incredible job opportunity, but the commute would be to downtown Boston every day (over an hour at rush hour traffic times).  I said thanks but no thanks.  They said they were so interested they really wanted me to come in for interview even with my concerns.  I did, and the job is really one of those jobs where I would be a SWAMI.  Blue sky intellectual thinking and research and thought leadership and all that kick ass awesome stuff that made me feel smart (but I don't care about that, right?).  Also, 10K increase in salary at least.  It was clear that while the job is super cool I definitely could not work from home consistently.

So I sent a thank you note and again said no, this won't work for me, please keep me in the mind in the future (cause the job is very cool).  I think I'm done.  Nope--hiring manager writes me back asking me to propose a commuting arrangement that would work for me.  (They have not made me an offer, just to continue the interview process to next round). 

What do I do?  Do I propose a 7am-3pm schedule that would ensure that I can be home every day to pick up my kids?  I still have to make the drive, and pay to park downtown every day, so not great.  My current drive is shorter and cheaper, with free parking.  (I know I should ride a bike but there is nothing near my house that could pay nearly what I make, and I can't move my kids out of school.)

Help!  Why am I so conflicted? 

[ZiziPB]

Sounds like they really want you so you can probably ask for the moon and you would get it ;-) 

First of all $10K increase in salary doesn't sound worth the hassle.  I don't know how much you make now but I would definitely ask for a lot more money.  And ask exactly for the schedule that would fit your life (flexible hours, work from home, etc.) and ask them to cover parking.

[Dee18]

I think it is a hard choice because you are weighing intangibles.  Having work you love is great.  Being able to work with your kids' schedule (and not driving into Boston) is great.  There is no point system for comparing them. Also, this may be what a psychologist friend of mine calls a 49/51 decision, so close there is no "right" answer.  That means there also is no "wrong" answer.  So close you eyes and pretend that tomorrow you are driving to Boston to the new workplace.  Does that make you happy?  Only you know. 

[FLBiker]

So close you eyes and pretend that tomorrow you are driving to Boston to the new workplace.  Does that make you happy?  Only you know.

I like this advice.  I can get hung up on decisions where both options have benefits.  Imagining myself in each situation (and paying attention to the presence or absence of stress in my body) can sometimes be really helpful.

Also, you could flip a coin.  Say the new job is heads.  See you how feel immediately after the coin toss.  If it comes up heads and you're happy, the new job seems like a good choice.  If it comes up heads and you're like "oh, shoot" then maybe stick with your current job.

Regardless, this sounds like a good "problem" to have!

[AZDude]

What *would* it take to get you to drive downtown? $20K, working from home twice a week? Ask for it. You are already saying no, so asking for the moon has no opportunity cost. Also, as someone who recently left a job to chase more money... if your current job has ideal hours and you are only 4-5 years from FIRE, maybe you should just stay there.

[Lucky Girl]

Thank you FLBiker and all.  You are so right, this is a good problem to have.   For a very long time I questioned my ability to be a successful professional.  I worked part-time for 3 years after my kids were born and did not think anyone would ever hire me for a really good job.  Then I got the job I have, and was content with riding this out till FI.

Now I just got an amazing confidence boost.  Someone wants me!

I will appreciate what I have, and also try the coin flip!

[charis]

What *would* it take to get you to drive downtown? $20K, working from home twice a week? Ask for it. You are already saying no, so asking for the moon has no opportunity cost. Also, as someone who recently left a job to chase more money... if your current job has ideal hours and you are only 4-5 years from FIRE, maybe you should just stay there.

Exactly.  Imagine your ideal situation regarding this new position and ask for it.  You have already said no, so who cares if they do?  Ask for $10K more, 7am to 3pm, and one day per week work from home.

[Allen]

Does "commute alternatives" include working from home as a possibility?  Something you may not have considered

[Lucky Girl]

Thanks all for the level-headed advice.  I responded with a schedule of two days per week from home and 7:30 am to 3:30 pm schedule on in-office days.  The money would also be a big factor but we haven't gotten to salary negotiations yet.  We'll see what they say, but as you all noted previously I have nothing to lose!

Its so nice to be in a position of strength!