@hoyahoyasaxa - A couple of things to consider, first I used to live in an outer boro and work in Manhattan and now I live in a NY suburb (not NJ) and commute to Manhattan, so I know where you are coming from :)
There is a huge quality of life difference living in the burbs near family having property than living in the city, especially when raising a family, we have small children and both of our parents and siblings are within 10 minutes of us, it makes a huge difference, that might not be a financial reason to move but it is something to consider which is clearly one of your reasons and must be given enough weight regardless of what everyone tells you about the finances.
You are comparing a 50 minutes commute to an 75 minute commute, to anyone who commutes to NYC the difference in negligible (unfortunately, rule of thumb here is time is only measured once you hit the hour mark :P ) The commute cost is another factor, make sure you look into your companies (and your wife's) commuter benefits program up $130 towards transit and $245 for parking can be paid for pretax out of your paycheck per month per person.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employer_transportation_benefits_in_the_United_StatesYou are looking to move to form NY and NYC to NJ, so I know you did a revised W-4, which is your federal income taxes, did you adjust your state income taxes as well? In NYS you are in the 6.45% tax bracket, in NJ you be in the 5.5% tax bracket at most possibly the 3.5% tax bracket. NYC also charges you another ~3.5% in income tax, so by moving from NYC to NJ your net pay increase by a minimum of 4.5% and up 6.5% just in state and city tax reductions, not counting anything to do with owning or renting, NJ is just cheaper in that regard. But to counter that point as another poster mentioned earlier you won't get as good ethnic groceries and day care costs will likely be higher in NJ than in Queens and one would hope with the higher cost would come with more reliability, but do your due diligence on that one.
Now based on your take home pay my guess is you currently take the standard deduction or just pay enough in state income taxes to itemize but barely, with mortgage interest, property taxes and state income taxes you will definitely be taking the itemized deduction, I would re-analyze your take home pay with the state income tax changes and the mortgage interest and property taxes and remember you might be doubling up property taxes this year as you are prepaying which might be paying back the seller (prorated for taxes they just paid in January/Sept) and next years might be due in Sept but still paid by in this year. So recalculate both you federal and state withholdings for all state income taxes you will have withheld, property taxes you will pay and mortgage interest. Also remember the 3 personal deductions and any other credits you know you are eligible for.
You are also eligible for Dependent Day Care Flexible Spending (FSA) for up to $5,000 for child care if both you and your spouse work which is pretax this is like a Healthcare FSA but used for daycare costs, (contribute to this too if you are not, especially if you are having a child you are going to use that one up, can max out at $2500).
You have a lot of things changing, switching states and dropping city taxes, adding a dependent, changing how you get to work and buying a house, that is a huge amount of data to input and there are things that are going to be missing in this forum dialog, I would suggest you seek out a local accountant and run the numbers to get solid answers to find out what it will actually cost you.
There are going to be very many varying opinions on this board, some people are going to be strongly for this others against it, and clearly there is others things at play besides finances, a lot people who don't live near NYC will be biased one way and those of us who have lived and breathed the air here will be biased another way.
Good luck, I hope I gave you something to think about,
-Mister FancyPants