I want to add to the growing list of folks reassuring you. When my wife and I got married, she was halfway through grad school racking up what I considered to be a large amt of student loan debt. But I wasn't worried about it because we'd both be working full time and we'd pay it off no problem, right? Well our honeymoon baby changed things pretty quickly from our original plan of waiting 3-5 years until having kids. She ended up having an extra semester of grad school (funded by an additional loan) because of some pregnancy complications that caused her to have to take a semester off. I was 28 at the time and had been wandering my way through life since my college graduation 5 years earlier and had only started a decent job with benefits just before we got married. We were faced with starting to raise a child in 9 months, and my wife no longer wanted to work full-time so that she could raise our son. I resented this a lot because she was the one that would end up with the better job and the one bringing the enormous debt to the marriage. I don't roll with the punches very well and what could have been a joyous, exciting time was filled with an enormous amount of stress for us. One upside is that it forced us to do some out-of-the-box thinking. We made some drastic changes in our living situation (moved back to our hometown to be closer to family who wanted to help us with childcare) that enabled my wife to work part-time. I was able to transfer within the state university system where I worked to a better job in our hometown. We thought we'd have a huge childcare expense, but with our move that expense became zero because my wife and family were watching our kid. As far as the student loan, we made decent progress for awhile, and once I started reading MMM we've really been able to take big bites out of that debt. What could be a 25-year loan is probably going to be paid off in 3 or 4 more years.
A second (and much more important) upside is that it showed us that our marriage can weather stresses and by working together on a solution we could both accept made us closer and stronger (both as a couple and individually). Many couples don't face this type of relationship stressor until much later in their marriage. In many ways, we were fortunate to have this early on.
So enough about me...on to you: You're the same age I was in this story, and your student debt load is about the same. You're only "behind" in life depending on who you compare yourself to. You're way ahead if you compare yourself to a different set of criteria. You're married, you have a college degree and a job you love, and your husband will soon be done with his education as well. If you know that you'll have this debt paid off "in the next few years" as you say, then you are light-years ahead of a lot of people. That same money that is getting you out of debt quickly will skyrocket you to financial independence if you move to investing once the loan is paid off, assuming that is one of the ultimate goals. The MMM blog and forum community has all kinds of ideas about how to maximize both finances and quality of life. You don't answer to anyone else but each other as far your station in life goes.
If your husband doesn't know about your resentment, you have to have this discussion with him, not with an internet forum, though we're all happy to give advice as best we can. And if it comes to it, then with a counselor as others have suggested. Nothing is more important than your marriage (assuming it's free from abuse, etc). If you two aren't in agreement about that, then not much else is going to matter and what you don't think is an option (divorce) could very well become a reality anyway, as others have already said. But the funny thing is, if you ARE in agreement that nothing is more important than your marriage, then all the other stuff still doesn't matter, but in a much more positive way, if that makes any sense. Often you won't realize that until hindsight and after a lot of hard work and hand-wringing. But that's the stuff that good marriages are made of.
I'm hopeful that you can come up with creative solutions that you can both live with. The key is that it doesn't matter what other people think, or where other people are at in their lives. What matters is that you create a life that you can both live in (and since you're married, love each other in). We can give lots of suggestions. Someone suggested separate finances. My wife and I both get paid biweekly, so that means two extra paychecks a year for both of us--we've built our finances around two paychecks per month, so when we have that extra third paycheck, it's major debt reduction time, plus some "fun" money (Having two kids now, date night is very important). Sorry this response is so long, but your question really touched my heart because there seems to be a lot in between the lines. My circumstances were somewhat different than yours, but the stakes are the same: a good marriage. You cannot have a good marriage without challenges and I'll be keeping you and your husband in my thoughts as you go through this together. What you are calling a setback is really a HUGE opportunity for you and your husband to work together and build something good together. I hope that doesn't come off as really sappy:) But even if it does, who gives a shit? I hope it helps:)