Author Topic: Quittin' Advice  (Read 7979 times)

mele

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Quittin' Advice
« on: October 03, 2013, 01:06:53 PM »
Hi mustachians,

This blog has been a much-needed kick in the pants. Reading has helped me to realize that I can retire today. My husband has a high-paying job and we're close to $2M in net worth. So I'm going to give my job the finger and spend the time saved with my child. I have to give 3 months notice, which is going to make for an awkward next 3 months... but then I'm free. Any tips on quitting gracefully and mitigating all the awkwardness as I transition out?

Thanks in advance!

iamlindoro

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2013, 01:09:43 PM »
Lean heavily on the family aspect.  These are years you can never get back with your children and spouse, and you want to explore the world with them while you are all still young and healthy.

Do not overexplain.  Rehearse what you are going to say and keep it under a minute.

Spork

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2013, 01:21:06 PM »

...and (I am sure you know this) keep "the finger" internal.  Be nice.  Stay friends.  You never know when those connections are going to be useful again.

(I know everyone knows this... but a friend actually did "give the finger" ... and it didn't go well.)

Norrie

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2013, 01:23:32 PM »
Lean heavily on the family aspect.  These are years you can never get back with your children and spouse, and you want to explore the world with them while you are all still young and healthy.

Do not overexplain.  Rehearse what you are going to say and keep it under a minute.

Yes to all of this. Don't feel the need to over-explain. Thank them for the opportunities afforded to you, and tell them that you've really enjoyed your time there, but that priorities dictate that you need to do someone else for now.

Best of luck! Enjoy your time with your wee one.

mele

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2013, 01:26:52 PM »

...and (I am sure you know this) keep "the finger" internal.  Be nice.  Stay friends.  You never know when those connections are going to be useful again.

(I know everyone knows this... but a friend actually did "give the finger" ... and it didn't go well.)

Haha, of course I didn't mean literally! I actually quite like my boss and coworkers, if not all the hours spent away from home. My biggest obstacle to quitting right now is the guilt trip I've been treating myself to while thinking about leaving.

Great, great advice about not overexplaining. I needed to hear that. I feel so bad about quitting that I want to explain a LOT.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2013, 01:28:58 PM by Lemming »

iamlindoro

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2013, 01:28:25 PM »
Haha, of course I didn't mean literally! I actually quite like my boss and coworkers, if not all the hours spent away from home. My biggest obstacle to quitting right now is the guilt trip I've been treating myself to while thinking about leaving.

The guilt will pass very quickly, probably in the first week of waking up whenever you want to, watching your child play and grow, and beginning to excitedly plan your future together without work to keep you apart.

Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment!

Numbers Man

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2013, 01:36:05 PM »
Three months notice is quite a bit of time. I'm curious as to why your employer needs three months notice?

mele

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2013, 01:46:33 PM »
Three months notice is quite a bit of time. I'm curious as to why your employer needs three months notice?
Teaching job; can't quit mid-term. Well, I suppose one *could* but it would be pretty bad form, short of a terrible emergency.

Numbers Man

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2013, 01:51:44 PM »
Makes perfect sense. In three months you won't be a lemming.

brewer12345

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2013, 02:25:18 PM »
Keep it professional and keep your resignation letter to about 2 sentences.  The less said the better.  Nobody will expect more.

ShavinItForLater

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2013, 07:50:52 PM »
Just out of curiosity, if you're not planning to actually quit until the end of the term, why do you need to give notice now?  Couldn't you just wait until the end and let them know you won't be returning?  Do they need the extra time to hire someone for the next term?  If so, then rather than thinking of giving so much notice as awkward, I would certainly be thinking of it as doing them a huge favor to give so much notice.

mele

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2013, 08:08:43 PM »
Just out of curiosity, if you're not planning to actually quit until the end of the term, why do you need to give notice now?  Couldn't you just wait until the end and let them know you won't be returning?  Do they need the extra time to hire someone for the next term?  If so, then rather than thinking of giving so much notice as awkward, I would certainly be thinking of it as doing them a huge favor to give so much notice.

Yes, they will need to replace me, with a temp for next term. Temporary replacements aren't that difficult to line up, but the schedule is being set right now. If I were to quit at the end of the term, it would be a real scramble for my department. (A permanent replacement will probably take 5-6 months).

NinetyFour

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2013, 08:27:05 PM »
Um, I'm not sure I'd follow this advice, from upthread:

"Thank them for the opportunities afforded to you, and tell them that you've really enjoyed your time there, but that priorities dictate that you need to do someone else for now."

Norrie

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #13 on: October 05, 2013, 09:39:32 PM »
Um, I'm not sure I'd follow this advice, from upthread:

"Thank them for the opportunities afforded to you, and tell them that you've really enjoyed your time there, but that priorities dictate that you need to do someone else for now."

Oh, sheesh. Yeah, please don't follow my advice on that, unless you WANT to. And then go for the gold. I haven't eaten solid food since last Sunday, and my brain has turned into pure mush.

Baylor3217

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2013, 10:17:42 AM »
I'm curious of your ages and what your husband does for a loving.

OzzieandHarriet

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2013, 11:11:12 AM »
I just went through this, so yes, I agree that it's never good to burn bridges. Be nice, don't tell them any more than the minimum about your reasons, keep the door open for returning or subbing or freelancing if possible. Don't say anything negative about your job or the workplace or any of the people you work with.

I gave a month's notice when I handed in my resignation. In my case, though, I didn't have much work to hand over to anyone, and I don't think they were planning to replace me -- there seriously wasn't enough work for a full-time person in the position I held, which was part of the problem about the job for me, though of course I didn't emphasize that. They set me up to freelance for them, and that seems to be working out well.

YMMV, of course.

mele

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2013, 01:18:18 PM »
Um, I'm not sure I'd follow this advice, from upthread:

"Thank them for the opportunities afforded to you, and tell them that you've really enjoyed your time there, but that priorities dictate that you need to do someone else for now."

Hahaha, I missed that too. Doing someone else - now THAT would be a disaster.

mele

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #17 on: October 06, 2013, 01:23:18 PM »
I'm curious of your ages and what your husband does for a loving.

For a loving? ;) This thread is heavy on the innuendo. But seriously, we are late 30s and he's a physician.


Kira

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #18 on: October 06, 2013, 02:30:25 PM »

Haha, of course I didn't mean literally! I actually quite like my boss and coworkers, if not all the hours spent away from home. My biggest obstacle to quitting right now is the guilt trip I've been treating myself to while thinking about leaving.

Great, great advice about not overexplaining. I needed to hear that. I feel so bad about quitting that I want to explain a LOT.

My mom is a teacher and I've seen the guilt trip working on her many a time because you spend more time with your faculty members than with your own family most weeks. Just keep reminding yourself that you are not abandoning them on an ice floe in the Arctic - you have done right by them by giving them time to line up someone else, and by doing a great job the whole time you have been there. You only owe them that much! You don't owe them all the rest of your life.

And just because you won't be teaching there every day doesn't mean you can't stay friends with them. My mom retired years ago and is still in touch with many former coworkers, some of whom retired decades ago.

travelbug

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Re: Quittin' Advice
« Reply #19 on: October 06, 2013, 04:47:03 PM »
Good for you!
How exciting.
I agree with the keep it short and sweet resignation letter.
Are you planning on ER for your husband as well? Once you have resigned you may have more time to research and work on the finances too.