As someone with digestive issues that include horrible gas, here's how I deal with beans:
0) Start with bulk, dry beans.
1) soak for a day or so
2) Rinse, rinse, and rinse some more.
3) Cook the beans, alone, overnight in a slow cooker.
4) Rinse, rinse, and rinse some more.
5) Cook the beans into whatever you're making.
I can't handle beans if I cook them, from soak, into anything. They have to pre-cook, and you have to get every trace of both the cooking liquid and soaking liquid off them. If you're willing to give it another try and risk time off work, that is...
I also second the probiotic comment. Don't bother with yogurt, though; though that has its benefits, the acidophile bacteria in the yogurt aren't going to do all that much for your intestines where gas happens. I personally had good luck with a
Nature's Way supplement; there's a German e-coli supplement* that I cannot currently recall the name of that might help you, too.
That said, this might just be an intolerance that nothing will help. I've got something similar with corn--any corn product and my digestive system completely voids itself out both ends. (and I do mean
completely. Dehydration becomes a serious health risk.)
I'd also like to second lentils and chickpeas-- since we know you can handle the chickpeas in hummus. I think someone mentioned that if you know a butcher, go for the weird cuts, and offal. Heart is just about the leanest piece of a cow, and depending where you are, can be had for a song. Tongue? That's a muscle, dude!
And finally, yes. Once hunting season comes 'round again, go murder bambi. Bambi is delicious, lean, and really, really needs her numbers culled.
* "but wait, don't people die from that?" -- there are good strains, and bad strains. Making sure your gut flora is well populated with one of the friendly strains may also lower your risk from one of the evil ones taking over.