Thanks, Spokey! I thought from your name that you might live in Spokane, but judging from your comment about it, now I am guessing not. :) Answers below and thanks for your comments! It sounds like you know the area really well.
Are you OK getting in a car to access trails? Prefer to have it closer, but if I have to drive, then yes
[/b]If so, how long you might be willing to drive? Less than 15 minutes
Do you really want to be able to ski at least semi-locally? Yes -- x-country only, no downhill
[/b][/i]Are you OK running on wet trails much of the year? A-OK. Shiggy is fine.
Are mountains important (or what types of 'nature' are you most drawn to)? Woods. Mountains are nice, but not essential.
I'd live in Bend in a heartbeat if I could afford it... Bend does sound great, except for the gardening. That would be rough. I can't not garden.
Good luck, it sound like you need to take a serious road trip and check things out. Agreed! We are currently planning it! I don't think there's any one perfect place. It's about finding that place that ticks the most boxes and feels right.
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So where do you currently live, if you don't mind my asking?
I'm in a red state - infuriating politics and culture, great mountain recreation, low taxes, cheap real estate, and good gardening. Moved here for the job.
So be sure to get on the trails and check out the low-down on XC skiing, lots of places will plug this kind of thing when it really is lame or far away. Most of the west side will not support XC skiing well and you will be looking at a decent drive with decent elevation gain to get to wet snow for much of the year. Again, central OR is pretty nice on this front, and you can garden there, you just need to cover your beds more often.
A couple possible outliers that might not otherwise get on the radar: Sandy or Estacada OR (1/2 way up the mountains E. of PDX), access to snow and tons of public land in the mountains, great rivers right there, easy access to PDX and all is coolness. Some of the best berries in the world.
I'd again say check out Wenatchee area, including the small towns towards the mountains from there (good wine in the area too, BTW).
Haven't lived there but I think that Olympia might work for you - but a drive to CX ski. I'd put it right there with Corvallis (nice and a bit ho-hum), with a bunch more far left quirkiness along with state capitol lack of excitement.
And for the wild-card small town in a more isolated but stunning environment: Joseph, OR - tons of mountains and solitude with access to trails and snow and wilderness in every direction.
Another wild-card you might check out (no CX skiing): Astoria, OR - cool town with lots of character and a nice arts culture vibe (with a bit or Oregon coast quirkiness). Close to PDX and you can either run on local trails in the hills or head to the beach. Gardening friendly, but not much hot weather, and no really cold weather.
I really don't care for the Tri-Cities - no character, no mountains, hot as heck.
Second the recent comments on Spokane, a rather seedy quality that I can't shake whenever I'm there.
Ashland is really way cool in many ways, but a long ways from a big city. As others note it is spendy, and nearby Medford gets pretty darn hot. Great produce in the area however (loads of fruit).
Listen to what folks say about Tacoma - lived there and there are great things about it, including trails in the city limits (Pt. Defiance), and some great neighborhoods, but it has its rather seedy side as well. You will have to drive quite a while to get to snow, and likely way more than 15 minutes to get to major sources of natural areas with trails. Traffic stinks in that whole I-5 corridor from Tacoma north (and often well south of there).