It seems to me like it might be time to put financial questions on the back burner. Sure, that means you lose some time in the market, and some time maximizing your savings. But the bet motivator to do those things and stick with them is to know why you are doing them. Without that, any changes you make are unlikely to last.
So addressing who you are, who you want to be, and the kinds of things that will move you in that direction is going to be key.
What's important to me--truly important?
What makes you happy--not distracted, but happy?
What makes you content?
What does a life well-lived look like to you?
What about your current life makes you unhappy or dissatisfied?
If you could create a bucket list with 5 items and they would be assured (in that you'd be given the opportunity--not guarantee you'll summit Everest if that's on the list, but you'll get there and be giving a spot on a climb), for your entire life, what would those be? Twenty items?
I'd start with questions like that.
Also, you said that you didn't realize this is an environmental or minimalism blog. It's not, but it's also not not. The thing is that these things are all tied. Buying fewer things is good for your finances, the planet, and your overstuffed junk drawer. Likewise, it's not a philosophical blog, but it's not not. Because philosophy can help use define for ourselves a good, rewarding life, and it can also help us understand why we spend and in doing so, how to spend less. Think like hedonistic adaptation come in to play here.
I started a post a while back entitled something like, "what if money does my happiness", which on the surface in anathema to MMM. But what I said is that careful, thoughtful spending and making some expensive choices--mostly precisely where we decided to live after an international move--actually did contribute to my quality of life, in meaningful ways and ways that I feel are aligned with my values.
There are plenty of people here who spend a lot of money. $100k+. None of this is really about just spending less. It's about spending--and not spending--thoughtfully. If a great cup of coffee really makes someone feel good, in the ways they find important, then money spent on good beans and a fancy machine is probably "worth it", even if they could get by with a $.11 cup of instant.
I'm sitting at a coffee shop right now, drinking a $3 London Fog. I walked here. When I arrived, they started my drink without me having to tell them what I wanted, because the know my drink. It's a locally-owned, non-chain place. I can see and smell them roasting their own beans right now. I tip well because the staff is great, and I suspect they really appreciate that tip. I come here to write in support of my dream and goal to become a published novelist?
All of that is money that is 100% unnecessary. But this--being a part of a community, supporting a local business, having a sense of familiarity (which warms my socially anxious, cold, dark heart), working toward a long-held dream? It's exactly the life I want. And every penny spent here is a well-considered, thoroughly-examined decision.
Once you figure out the life stuff, a lot of the money stuff falls in to place. Because you realize you don't care about cars, so you buy a 5 yo modest car and drive it until the wheels fall off. (Or whatever line item makes sense for you.)
It's not always a comfortable path. But it is so, so worth it and frankly, I think the money and the chance to retire isn't at or maybe even near the top of the list of benefits.