Well, I agree with the other posters that such behavior by a spouse dooms your marriage and should inspire an immediate exit on your part, but that's not what you asked for help on (but please, I implore you, DO NOT have kids with such a volatile and toxic person! Don't inflict that on a child!).
So my advice is that you should see a divorce lawyer, but for a different reason. Here's the reason: a good divorce lawyer will be able to tell you what the financial result is likely to be if you get divorced. For instance, will you be considered a part-owner of that business, even though there's no paperwork to that effect? It's entirely possible.
And perhaps even more critically, how many years do you have before the financial consequences of divorce get even worse? I know in some states, marriages that last more than 10 years can end up with the wealthier spouse having to pay alimony to the other FOR LIFE unless the other spouse remarries (which they usually won't--they'll just shack up with someone else and keep collecting your alimony), and I think 10 years is also the point at which under federal law the other spouse automatically gets a big bite of your social security. And there may also be laws or legal presumptions along the lines of "if you're married less than 3 years, you probably won't have to pay alimony at all or will only have to pay it for a year" or something like that.
So a good divorce lawyer will be able to tell you all that, and you'll be able to prepare. For instance, if there is a law or presumption in your state that relates to the length of the marriage, you might use that information as a personal deadline: "If she hasn't stopped acting like this by X date, I need to file for divorce because otherwise, if I drag it out even a couple of months longer, I'll be on the hook for..." whatever you're on the hook for: alimony for life, alimony for years, whatever. And a good lawyer would also be able to tell you what to do, and what NOT to do, to prepare your personal finances for the possibility that you'll divorce them (or they'll divorce you). For instance, is there anything you should or should not do with your salary, any inheritances, your retirement plan, your life insurance, any property you had before you got married...?
Such information could easily be worth tens of thousands of bucks to you, if not more. And if you're up for it I agree with the advice to pay for an hour of advice from several of the best lawyers in town, because in addition to the fact that a few good legal minds can probably help you more than just one good legal mind, it would also indeed mean they couldn't represent your spouse, and no one else in their law firm probably could either (one lawyer's conflict of interest "conflicts out" his or her entire firm unless clients waive it--I'm overly simplifying but that's the gist).