Author Topic: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job  (Read 3398 times)

moneytaichi

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Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« on: February 09, 2018, 06:40:30 PM »
I have been on the fence on deciding if I should quit my job in the last couple of months. The job pays really well and gives me lots of flexibility (including living/working in China for 3.5 months last year), but some areas of the corporation is really challenging, e.g. constant pressure for producing more, travel, politics and isolating. There are lots of reasons to stay or quit...

I am wondering if you have decided to stay on a challenging job after some deep struggles, AND you feel peaceful and no regrets afterwards, as the famous saying "Living well is the best revenge". How did you evaluate the trade-offs? How long did you stay in the end (if you quit eventually)? How do you make peace with challenging situations?

Look forward to your responses! Thank you!
« Last Edit: March 21, 2018, 07:56:13 PM by moneytaichi »

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2018, 07:11:13 PM »
Some people are OK staying in a bad job situation. I am not one of them. I can't play the political games, and I can't separate my life and my job. For me, it's far better for my mental health to just leave. I'm unemployed now (3 months) and SOOOOOO glad I left. Job hunting is a pain but at least I'm not stressed to the max and burned out. You'll have to assess how well you are able to deal and just go home, I guess. You make a very good salary. That should be included in your thought process. My job didn't pay well.

moneytaichi

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2018, 07:31:28 PM »
Thanks, AnnaGrowsAMustache, I like your name :) I just had a lunch with my mentor (used to be my boss) today. He has worked for this company for 25 years now and become increasingly disillusioned with the changes in the Corporate culture. His strategy is to stay semi-retire on the job, meaning that he'll work very efficiently with 20-30 hours (still yield good output), while doing his gigs in the remaining hours. This is an interesting way to cope with an alienating work environment, but it's hard for me because I am still working on my striving and perfectionist tendencies. I always want to give my best in everything, which also has caused lots of work-life imbalance issues.

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2018, 07:51:15 PM »
Thanks, AnnaGrowsAMustache, I like your name :) I just had a lunch with my mentor (used to be my boss) today. He has worked for this company for 25 years now and become increasingly disillusioned with the changes in the Corporate culture. His strategy is to stay semi-retire on the job, meaning that he'll work very efficiently with 20-30 hours (still yield good output), while doing his gigs in the remaining hours. This is an interesting way to cope with an alienating work environment, but it's hard for me because I am still working on my striving and perfectionist tendencies. I always want to give my best in everything, which also has caused lots of work-life imbalance issues.

You sound a bit like me, ultra conscientious and emotionally invested in my job! It's not healthy at the end of the day. If you can step back, then do so, I'd say. I don't know quite what that looks like, but give it a go!

Freedomin5

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2018, 05:28:47 AM »
I stayed in a well paid but bad job for two years before quitting. Bad as in a horrible, toxic culture with loads of inefficiencies and politics. I survived two years by ignoring and staying out of the politics, and keeping my head down and just doing my job - only exactly what was in my job description - which I did very well. I also saved like crazy so that money became less and less of the primary motivator for staying.

Eventually the politics and crappy management decisions started encroaching on my ability to do my work properly (not because of my emotions/mental health but because of stupid policy changes that impacted the tasks I needed to complete). Once they started making my job more difficult because of dumb processes without a commensurate increase in salary, I quit. I figured the extra effort I expend could be more efficiently used to generate more money at a different job. I had another job lined up before I quit.

meghan88

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2018, 07:49:03 AM »
I like the title of this thread, and I think I am living well in a challenging job right now. 

Good salary and I can basically work from wherever I like.  While I like the concept of retiring and doing nothing, I'm not quite ready to turn off the cash fire hose just yet.  I would also miss the benefits, as well as the ability to work from sunny climes whenever I choose.  I worry that I'll shrivel up in despair once I'm no longer needed to problem-solve and put out fires.

Maybe I'd leave if I had a hobby that I was passionate about.  For now, I focus on the advantages and I just try to do the best I can when the work gets tough, which it does.  People know that I'm a hard worker and I seem to have the respect of key people, and that goes a long way.  All I can do is all I can do, and people seem to realize and appreciate that no one else could do much better.

Knowing that I can quit any time and that I have enough FU money to retire makes working seem "optional" as opposed to "mandatory", and that (IMO) helps a lot.

moneytaichi

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2018, 12:59:34 PM »
Some people are OK staying in a bad job situation. I am not one of them. I can't play the political games, and I can't separate my life and my job. For me, it's far better for my mental health to just leave. I'm unemployed now (3 months) and SOOOOOO glad I left. Job hunting is a pain but at least I'm not stressed to the max and burned out.
Power to you! Our health and self-confidence/self-esteem are much more important than short-term salaries.

moneytaichi

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2018, 01:04:07 PM »
I was too invested, took it too personally, gave it my all, and it gave me nothing in return except money, which really really wasn’t worth it in the end.
Thanks, Malkynn! That has summed up my addiction to my work for the last 18 years. It becomes the most of my identities, and my life evolves around how to be the best company woman. But, I am working on recovery now ;-)

moneytaichi

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2018, 01:09:10 PM »
Knowing that I can quit any time and that I have enough FU money to retire makes working seem "optional" as opposed to "mandatory", and that (IMO) helps a lot.
Thanks, Meghan88! I have saved quit bit of money. I have made a deal with myself: If I can do the semi-retirement on the job (meaning putting in 20-30 hours of focused work), AND my physical/mental health can handle it, I will stay one more year. If my physical/mental health starts to fail, I cab quit anytime.

moneytaichi

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Re: Living well is the best revenge (update: I am quitting my job)
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2018, 08:17:18 PM »
Just an update since early Feb when I posted this thread. I went to a business trip to Australia, exhausted and hit the bottom... Luckily my doc office wrote me a sick-leave note so I have been on a sick leave since March 1. With 3 weeks of reflections and recovery, I felt much better, but I have made my decision to leave the work as soon I return to work next Monday. I will give my company 3-week notice. At the end of the day, this long trip made the decision for me ;-) I also made a few "angles" during the trip that affirmed my decision.

Since I made this decision, I have felt much lighter, happier and optimistic about my future. I used to feel bleeding inside my chest, and that feeling is gone. I quickly made a list of over 30 things that I'd like to do/try after my leave. I look forward to my next stage now. Btw, I don't feel comfortable to call myself as early retirement. Instead, I call it as Second Act, which propels me find meanings in the next stage. I'd like to do more painting, writing, traveling, cooking, yoga, and life-savoring.

I also have 2 interviews lining up next Tuesday. If I get a job offer and like the management, I may work for a couple of years. But I'd ask for a couple of months for sabbatical anyway. If not, I will be happily taking my sabbatical for the rest of my life :) We are selling our house and decluttering 80% of our possessions. The fun (and scary) part is that we don't even know where we are moving to. One thing is certain: we will travel to and stay in China for 2 months first to have some fun.

poetdereves

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2018, 08:54:12 PM »
Awesome!! Keep in touch and fill us in on how it all goes!

lhamo

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2018, 09:07:32 PM »
Good for you!  I remember how freeing it was to decide to leave jobs that had become toxic.

Spring is a great time to travel in China.  Do you know where you are going yet?  I spent 13 years there, mostly in Sichuan and Beijing, and go back every year to visit family.

Freedomin5

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2018, 03:32:54 AM »
Congratulations!

moneytaichi

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2018, 12:45:03 AM »
I have quit my job in April. Currently live in Chengdu Sichuan for 6 weeks already. Love living here. Taichi and Painting classes have occupied a lot of time. Coming back to US in 2 weeks will hopefully allow me kick back a little from FOMO. Haha...

lhamo

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Re: Living well is the best revenge: Stay in a challenging job
« Reply #14 on: June 20, 2018, 08:01:37 AM »
Chengdu is awesome!  If you eat meat, be sure to try the original Mapo Dofu at Chen Mapo Dofu.  I'm not sure if it is still there, but there used to be a branch over by Du Fu's Cottage that we would go to.  Also not sure if it is still there (haven't been back to Chengdu for several years), but the huge weaving loom they used to have at the silk brocade museum is quite a sight to see.