Author Topic: Live at home or move out?  (Read 13537 times)

teltic

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Live at home or move out?
« on: May 01, 2016, 08:25:17 PM »
I'm 25, with one year left of my masters in finance program. I've been stashing money in the stock market since 2011, I have $60k.

I have about $15k left of school, $6k loan... Basically I can financially move out. But should I? Would you keep living for close to free at home or move out?

Any thoughts of buying duplexs to rent one out? Since I'm single I could take advantage of first hole buyer and buy a quadplex or something and live in one unit?


Basically what makes most financial sense, and at what point is it not cool to be living at your parents house?

Frankies Girl

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2016, 08:41:09 PM »
First step to being a Mustacian is not giving a flying fuck what is perceived as "cool." You shouldn't care what others think if the situation makes the most sense for the parties involved.

Are your parents allowing you to be an adult - meaning they're not imposing curfews, demanding to control your coming/going, and otherwise trying to keep the parent/child dynamic alive? Great! You have nice, well-adjusted parents and it makes sense to stay with them if they're happy with the situation.

If you and your parents get along well, you are not taking advantage (if you're not paying them rent or utilities, you better be doing all your own cleaning, cooking, shopping and helping out around the house as needed) then living at home and socking away as much money as possible while avoiding debt is absolutely the smart thing to do.

Awesome job so far with the investing! :)

Zikoris

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2016, 09:25:00 PM »
I'm 29 and have been on my own since 18. Don't overlook the value of the self reliance/life skills you develop from living alone. You could also be screwing yourself over in the dating market - when I was 25 I would not likely have dated someone who still lived at home, simply due to being at massively different points in life.

If I were you, I would move out yesterday.

LouLou

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2016, 10:01:08 PM »
I'm 28. I know quite a few people my age who moved back in with their parents after undergrad, then jumped straight into homeownership after saving tons of money.  Who cares what someone else thinks if it works for you and your family?

If you like the idea of becoming a landlord, use the next year to learn about the duplex/fourplex market in your area.  Learn some plumbing/handyman skills so you don't have to outsource fixing things.   Don't just jump into it because there is a negative social script about multigenerational homes.  (I'm moving my mom into my house in an in-law suite.  Different circumstances but unusual for some.)

Make sure you are contributing to the household.  I don't mean just taking care of yourself (that should be a given), but make life easier for your parents.  Pay in rent or labor.

Cyaphas

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2016, 10:13:20 PM »
I think this is extremely situational. Your relationship with your parents, as mentioned above. Your privacy needs, regarding alone time and relationships/sex.

My parent's have lived with me before and it saved all parties A LOT of money. When you start adding up electricity, internet, water, garbage and other bills; you realize how much money we're talking about here. Also, if you have pets of some kind than having someone else around to watch them when you're not at home is a huge bonus.

Alternating dinner preparing is convenient. Grocery shopping costs go down. Food waste goes down.

I expect that this isn't the case for everyone, but again, it's very situational.

Don't feel pressured by society to leave your parents place. Leave your parents place because it makes sense financially or personally to you. Have you talked to your parents about this at all?

teltic

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2016, 10:17:25 PM »
Thank you for your guys input.

As for putting in my fair share, I feel like I haven't been a liability for the parents (changed all electronics to led for efficiency, just replaced a broken tv, bought nest thermostat, etc). I'm not trying to advantage of my parents... I don't think that's mustashian.

I do wonder if it hurts my dating life. I still have school as an excuse of why I'm staying home, but how cool is it to date someone still in the parents house? I get it...

I have been thinking of buying a duplex as a win win situation; becoming independent, starting the passive income (passive may not be the best word, obviously there will still be work).


Anyway was just looking for advice. Thanks again for your comments!

teltic

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2016, 10:19:55 PM »
I have discussed with my parents... They tell me not go to... Mostly because they don't want to do yard work (I do it all. Haha).

I guess financially it makes sense to stay home. At least until I get out of school... I mean it's more complicated than just financially... I don't participate in religion, which I know bugs my parents, but aside from that we are very close.

kscubz

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2016, 01:29:19 AM »
I'm 28 and still live at home. I pay rent, very cheap rent, buy my own food, help out etc. etc.   I finished school three years ago and have been employed since then and could easily afford to have my own place but have no desire to spend that kind of money to avoid the minimal unpleasantries i experience living at home. I have no qualms about my living situation. It's a symbiotic relationship.

Don't be bothered by the weird obsession our society has with moving out and don't let anyone make you feel like you are less of an adult becuase you live with your parents. Most people who will give you shit about it are secretly jealous of your ability to save money and be happy living with your parents.

Regarding the dating thing: do you really want to be with someone who would think less of you for living with your parents? Maybe i'm biased since my girlfiend also lives with her parents.

Cyaphas

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2016, 02:06:12 AM »

Regarding the dating thing: do you really want to be with someone who would think less of you for living with your parents? Maybe i'm biased since my girlfiend also lives with her parents.


I was torn on making the same point. I think if you explain the situation or even throw out a couple of numbers, monthly savings account of you staying there for instances, you'll find a level headed potential mate to see it as a positive. Also, it really depends on how you portray it. Are you staying at home or are you helping your parents out while saving money?

mies

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2016, 02:27:52 AM »
I would say stay with your folks for as long as they are ok with you living with them. Just set a goal for moving out like when you reach a certain amount of money saved, or when all your debts are paid.

Anyone who rejects you for making smart financial moves is probably not someone you want to be date or marry and probably has unrealistic expectations about life. My wife and I both lived at home during college and lived with our parents for a couple of years after the fact too. We are in pretty good shape financially because we didn't let others expectations about our living situation dictate our spending.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2016, 02:39:37 PM by mies »

Metric Mouse

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2016, 07:23:19 AM »
I would say stay with your folks for as long as they are ok with you living with them. Just set a goal or timeline for moving out like when you a certain amount of money saved, or all your debts are paid, you will move out.

Anyone who rejects you for making smart financial moves is probably not someone you want to be date or marry and probably has unrealistic expectations about life.

This. If saving is important to you, then you probably don't want to date anyone who thinks saving is silly. If you and your parents get along well enough to live together, that's great. It will help you save.

When I turned 17 my parents made it clear that if I didn't move out, they were. I don't think we would be as close as we are if I hadn't gone my own way and did my own thing for awhile.

Fishindude

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2016, 07:37:14 AM »
I'm 29 and have been on my own since 18. Don't overlook the value of the self reliance/life skills you develop from living alone. You could also be screwing yourself over in the dating market - when I was 25 I would not likely have dated someone who still lived at home, simply due to being at massively different points in life.

If I were you, I would move out yesterday.


This is solid advice.   You are (7) years into legal adulthood, it's well past time to leave the nest.

BFGirl

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2016, 02:11:34 PM »
Perhaps you should have a discussion with your parents about it. It isn't just about what's best for you, but about them too.  If they have things they are putting off doing because you are living at home, then perhaps you should set a timeline.  It really depends on the family dynamics.  Once you have a job in your field, I really think you should start paying your share of the bills for living there.

About dating:  I think if someone immediately dismisses you because you live at home, then you are probably not compatible anyway.  However, what are your expectations about being able to bring someone home to hang out with or have "sexy time".  Will this make you, your parents or your date uncomfortable?  There are more considerations than just money.

I would have done better financially if I had lived at home.  My parents paid my tuition, books and fees and would have let me live at home during college.   However, in spite of my working full time and going to school full time and having excellent grades, my parents insisted that I still have a curfew.  That was enough for me to move out at 19.  I wouldn't trade those years of being poor but somewhat independent for anything.  I learned a lot about the world and how to take care of things myself.  So don't discount the experiences you would gain out on your own.  There are things of value that aren't measured by currency.

As the parent of an 18 year old and 21 year old, I am happy for them to live at home while they are pursuing education or training for their future career.  I expect them to pay something in rent if they aren't in school or training.  I've also told them that (barring any unforeseen circumstances) the "mommy payroll" stops at 26.  Also, as a parent, there are certain responsibilities that I will continue to have so long as my kids are there.  For example, I will want to cook larger meals so that they are fed a good meal, whereas, I would probably just have soup or something easy if it was just me. 

Just my two cents worth.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2016, 02:14:54 PM by BFGirl »

andy85

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2016, 02:17:38 PM »
First step to being a Mustacian is not giving a flying fuck what is perceived as "cool." You shouldn't care what others think if the situation makes the most sense for the parties involved.

Are your parents allowing you to be an adult - meaning they're not imposing curfews, demanding to control your coming/going, and otherwise trying to keep the parent/child dynamic alive? Great! You have nice, well-adjusted parents and it makes sense to stay with them if they're happy with the situation.

If you and your parents get along well, you are not taking advantage (if you're not paying them rent or utilities, you better be doing all your own cleaning, cooking, shopping and helping out around the house as needed) then living at home and socking away as much money as possible while avoiding debt is absolutely the smart thing to do.

Awesome job so far with the investing! :)
This is exactly what i did. My parents are cool as hell and i'm not a bum...I'm a functioning adult (who just couldn't financially move out when i wanted to). Lived at home til i was 29. Not a single fuck was given. I'm in a great spot financially today because of that decision.

icemodeled

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2016, 02:28:23 PM »
I'm 27 and my husband is 26. We lived with my parents in 2014 for the year while saving up money fast(our home was rented out). Sure, it wasn't always easy but we managed. There is nothing wrong with living at home as long as you contribute in some way(unless they're fine without it and rather you save the money) and you set future goals. I personally would want to be out on my own, especially by age 30 but what your doing is awesome if everyone is ok with the situation - more money you can save up the better! I wouldn't worry about it until you have finished your masters, save all you can and then look into moving out.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2016, 02:28:48 PM »
Stay at home while you can.

Finish school, line up a good job. Then worry about where you will move to =)

Kaikou

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2016, 05:35:46 PM »
There's nothing like turning the key to your own place and nobody is there. Nobody ate the last whatever. You will have the peace of mind to know that you can always go back? But finish the rest of school first.

WSUCoug1994

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2016, 05:46:47 PM »
There are some polarizing opinions on this thread.  Different cultures and different relationships have an impact on this decision.  If it works for both sides of the equation - I think you should stay until you are debt free.  That is what I did after college and it was an awesome financial decision.  I had to follow a series of rules and responsibilities at home (including all of the yard work) but I was miles ahead of peer group financially after 2.5 years and I moved right into my own place.  There are better real estate experts on this site than me but it feels like we are nearing the top of the market.  I wouldn't be buying anything now if you don't have to.   

The dating world is a tough call when you don't have your own place but you will survive it. 

The other thing worth mentioning is that I didn't really come to appreciate my parents and everything they did for me when I was growing up.  After college some light went on in my head and living at home helped me really build an awesome friendship with my parents.  I look back at those years as some of the best years of my life.  I wouldn't trade that time for any amount of $$.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2016, 05:51:13 PM by WSUCoug1994 »

Pigeon

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2016, 05:49:17 PM »
If my kids are willing to live by my rules, which will basically involve not making a mess in common areas, cleaning up after themselves, doing their share of errands and not making a ton of noise when I'm ready to sleep, I'd be happy to have them live with us for a few years.  If you all get along, I don't see any major downside.  I would rather they avoid debt while getting an education, and if they want to live with us to save up a down payment, I'm on board.

It might put a crimp on your dating. It's up to you as to whether you can find a way around that or if it's sufficient reason to move out.

Choices

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2016, 05:35:35 PM »
There's so much to be said for being TRULY self-sufficient. When you live with family, you often don't realize what it takes to make sure all the utilities are paid on time, the groceries get bought, the yard gets mowed, the laundry gets done. Not to mention what happens when a toilet clogs or there's a mouse in the house. Or how to shut off the main water line when there's a flood. Or how to prepare for an emergency with a flashlight, water, and snacks when the power goes out. Or...

My husband lived on his own for two years before we met, so I know that he is completely capable of cleaning a bathroom, cooking, doing laundry, etc. I don't mind doing most of this, but if I'm sick or working a lot, I know that he can and will step up.

My brother-in-law got married and moved in with his wife right away. He never had to really take care of himself, and although he's a great guy, his wife suffers the repercussions of this.

Living on your own has so many life lessons in planning and responsibility that you can't learn any other way.

Pigeon

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Re: Live at home or move out?
« Reply #20 on: June 28, 2016, 06:11:02 PM »
There's nothing to say that the OP couldn't continue to live at home for a year or so, save on expenses and then develop those life-saving toilet unclogging, mouse killing skills.  I don't think there's a statute of limitations on learning them.