Author Topic: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?  (Read 15996 times)

tyd450

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Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« on: March 25, 2015, 09:02:21 AM »
I apologize if this thought has already been discussed.

Lately I have wondered if I would be better off "taking a break" from this online forum.  Our plan is more or less set and in motion.  All debt is paid off other than the mortgage and I feel like we are at our acceptable level of mustachianism.

All that is left now is TIME.  Realistically I probably have 10 years until my FIRE date at the most.  I have my number and once I hit that number I pull the plug.

The reason I think I may leave this community is that I feel like I would be better served not thinking about FIRE every single day for the next 10 (or less) years because if I do that it is going to feel like an eternity.  I also can't help but love motivation at work-  I don't buy into the day to day bullshit/politics and I kind of feel like that is hurting me at this point.  The more I play the game, the bigger the raises and bonuses which in turn speeds up my FIRE clock.

Does anyone else share this feeling?  A little bit?  Please don't tar and feather me.

slugline

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2015, 09:09:52 AM »
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2014/05/29/give-yourself-the-gift-of-not-worrying-about-money/

So are you at the point where you give yourself the gift of not worrying about money? Congrats!

James!

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2015, 09:13:07 AM »
I absolutely share this feeling!

I have actually been considering making a post asking if others were feeling the same way.

I dove in, got excited, made tons of changes, and... now we wait.

I have a lot of life transition going on right now like starting a business, our first child, learning a new language, etc.

I realized I have been feeling measurable anxiety due to FIRE related thoughts. Whether or not the solution is to leave, is obviously up to you. For me, I've started compiling a list of topics to research in the future and I've made peace with the fact that I'm on a great path, I can't fix mistakes from the past, and that for better or for worse, this is a slow moving ship. If my investments aren't 100% optimized but I change that in 3, 6, or 12 months, it's probably not a big deal. So I'm digesting, enjoying the social aspect, and deferring some of the learning and with it the stress/burden.

I hope that is helpful!

Cheers,
James

boarder42

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2015, 09:24:09 AM »
Congrats. 

I'm at this level too... but there are always interesting concepts that come up that could shave a few months off here and there that i may have not thought about adding to my bag of FIRE tricks so i plan to stick around.  but really i have about 5-7 year left til  FIRE.  and time is all that will get us there.

brooklynguy

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2015, 09:48:12 AM »
I share this concern and worry that my forum-addiction will keep me glued to the screen even after FIRE when other pursuits should be competing for (and winning) my attention.

I once posted a related question here:

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/is-the-pursuit-of-fire-a-validhealthy-hobby/

The very fact that my talmudic familiarity with this forum allows me to make those kinds of cross-references scares me (but doesn't stop me from continuing!).

Cookie78

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2015, 09:56:51 AM »
I'm in the same boat. Thanks so much for posting.

Due to other recent and tragic life events I'm actually feeling achey about it. I get a lot of information and motivation from this forum, but I am also checking it way too often when I should be either working at my job, or doing things at home to get me closer to the goal. Unfortunately the biggest thing that will get me closer is time and there is not much I can do about that. So every time I check the forum I am reminded that I still have 5 years to go or more depending on how things work out.

Instead, I should focus on the other things that I want to do during FIRE, and take steps to get closer to those things now. Like learning Spanish and getting back in shape. My grief counselor told me yesterday that I need to find the 'meaning in my life'. After I figured out what meaning means I came up with a whole bunch of words, like learning, discovering, helping, and half a dozen others. It quickly occurred to me that all those words were things that strongly motivated me to FIRE, and that they were also all things that I can start to do before FIRE. Those are the things I should do more of instead of spending all my time on this forum, or checking my investment accounts.

HenryDavid

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2015, 09:58:34 AM »
What's the risk? Zero. Take a break.

Surely there's more going on in life besides the financial side: I gotta learn some languages, get better at playing music, get fitter, tinker on the house, do the gardening in summer, learn to cook more good stuff, cook and eat the existing recipes we already enjoy, have friends over and go over to their places, look after the foster dogs we take care of cause we travel too much to have our own dog, read books and watch movies from the library, go for walks  . . . . there's never enough time! But that's just one person talking. And we don't even have kids/grandkids.

So I dunno how people ever find the time just to do the interesting things in life, even after their material situation is more or less on autopilot.

tyd450

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2015, 10:01:52 AM »
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2014/05/29/give-yourself-the-gift-of-not-worrying-about-money/

So are you at the point where you give yourself the gift of not worrying about money? Congrats!

I have read that post before but thanks for linking me back to it-  It really does hit home and speaks to me at this point in my journey.

Cookie78

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2015, 10:10:02 AM »
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2014/05/29/give-yourself-the-gift-of-not-worrying-about-money/

So are you at the point where you give yourself the gift of not worrying about money? Congrats!

I second what tyd450 says! I've read this before, but right now it is exactly what I need to hear. Thank you for posting this.

Thanks for all the other advice and experiences shared as well. Great stuff.

ecmcn

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2015, 10:51:02 AM »
Yeah, I'm in the same boat. It's hard to not check the forum or my investments, or tweak my spreadsheets. Or worse, think about how great it's going to be to FIRE and have so much freedom. I've been thinking it's time to transition into another phase, sort of a Quiet Waiting Period following the Mustachian Face Punch, where I've got my shit together, formulated a plan, and now I need to just stick to it and enjoy life along the way. The post slugline referenced sums it up well.


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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2015, 10:52:19 AM »
Sure, you make several valid points, but don't you like making fun of people on the Anti-Mustachian Wall of Shame?

I'll admit, my family has told me I'm obsessing too much about this. Two years away from mortgage payoff, everything else on auto-pilot, and little else to do but wait it out.

The forum keeps me motivated and on-track. I've learned a LOT about tax and investment strategies and other useful info from fellow OP's. Plus I'm working on "Senior Mustachian" status.

odput

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2015, 11:01:44 AM »
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2014/05/29/give-yourself-the-gift-of-not-worrying-about-money/

So are you at the point where you give yourself the gift of not worrying about money? Congrats!

I have read that post before but thanks for linking me back to it-  It really does hit home and speaks to me at this point in my journey.

We also had a discussion on that post here.  thepokercab gave quite a nice response that is worth a read:

OP, i definitely know where you are coming from.  I'd say, that I had a very similiar experience as yours.  I feel like mine has had three distinct phases. 

Phase 1: The discovery.  I stumble across the MMM and the FIRE community in general.  Lightbulbs are going off everywhere as I immerse myself in countless blog postings and forum writings.  I start cutting out a bunch of useless stuff- overpaid cell plan, second car, eating out (or at least less of it), etc..  I set up my investments, and new accounts. I start creating multiple spreadsheets, plotting out a FIRE timeline.  I spend an incessant amount of time on it, and thinking about how awesome it will be to get to FIRE.  Its like a new toy.  I'd say this period for me lasted about 3 months. 

Phase 2: The Lull.  After the initial 3 or so months, the newness of it has worn off.  I find myself checking Personal Capital multiple times per day, and the amount of time to fire (for me 10 years) seems like an eternity and never moves.  I'm pretty bummed actually.  I want to FIRE, don't want to work at my stressful job.  I've optimized most of what I can, so I don't feel like I can make much more progress. My spending is down, but I kind of engage in a sort of "keeping up with the frugal Jones'" mindset.  I envy the posters who are at or near FIRE. I chastise myself for not getting my grocery budget down to like $150 a month like some people here apparently can.  This last multiple months. 

Phase 3:  Moving On.  I honestly think this is where I am at now.  At some point, I stop trying to compare myself with other people's journey and learn to just be happy with where I am at. I can't pinpoint when Phase 2 ended and when Phase 3 begin, but something definitely clicked at some point.  My spending actually upticks a bit because I realize that if something actually makes me truly happy then its ok to spend some money on it, as long as I keep the bigger picture in perspective.  I start busying myself with learning new skills.  I want to start programming.  I start taking some courses. Re-examine my family life.  The striving for self improvement starts to go beyond the spreadsheet.  I log into personal capital less and less.  The automatic investments are just that, automatic.  I spend less time thinking about them.  Sure, FIRE is some years away, but I start to think about it a bit less.   I even visit MMM and the forum a bit less. 

Anyway,  that's just my experience, but I hope it helps!

AJ

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2015, 11:07:06 AM »
Yep - take a break if you want and don't feel bad.

I love MMM and I still RSS the blog, but I take periodic breaks from the forums for this very reason. I have a tendency to become OBSESSED with personal finance and investments, and I can get caught up in reading posts and spend hours of my day here. That's good as long as it is inspiring, but there is a such thing as too much of a good thing.

Thegoblinchief

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2015, 11:17:01 AM »
My post count makes it seem like I've been around here for far longer than I actually have. I don't necessarily learn a lot of new financial things, but I enjoy helping new members with their questions.

More importantly I stick around for all of the entertaining discussions, often on topics only tangentially at best related to finance, and also for the various journals and friends I've made via them. Having an online support group helps when there's almost no one in real life I can talk about many of these things with, and it's fascinating to see how each person's journey is different.

But based on the way many users appear and disappear, most come, make the changes they're okay with, and then leave. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do that, and your life has still benefitted a lot.

johnny847

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2015, 11:19:31 AM »
Yea I've been feeling the same way recently. I've made changes to my life since I discovered MMM, and really there's not much more to do than just keep doing what I'm doing.

I find I don't learn much on these forums anymore. And while I still like contributing to these forums, I find that 1) I spend too much time here and not as much time getting work done, and 2) I am getting tired of seeing some of the same questions over and over (ie, should I skip my 401k so I can have money before 59.5? People, it's called the Roth pipeline or 72t. This has been addressed so many times on the forum that a simple search before such a post will turn up way too many results to count).

2ndTimer

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2015, 11:26:24 AM »
Taking a break is perfectly valid if you feel like you need it.  You don't have to pay for missed meetings.

SenoritaStache

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #16 on: March 25, 2015, 11:51:05 AM »
Geez, I thought I was the only one obsessed, guess I have some company, nice to know that!

Thegoblinchief

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2015, 11:57:09 AM »
2) I am getting tired of seeing some of the same questions over and over (ie, should I skip my 401k so I can have money before 59.5? People, it's called the Roth pipeline or 72t. This has been addressed so many times on the forum that a simple search before such a post will turn up way too many results to count).

Word. I tend to shake my head and scroll right past many threads. Thankfully (?) the forum has gotten so large since I joined that most of those threads already have answers before I see them, so I don't feel compelled to respond lest they remain in ignorance.

morning owl

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #18 on: March 25, 2015, 12:23:20 PM »
I really feel like this as well. I'm probably in "The Lull" phase described above.

It's getting kinda crazy -- I'm checking my investment accounts and this forum about 100x a day. I've made a lot of changes in my life, but I'm starting to feel a few negative effects. Yes I have saved about 80% of my income over the past 3 months, but I'm also saying 'no' to a lot of fun things with friends -- outings, trips, etc. It's getting to the point where I feel like in 20 years I'll be this crazy person, alone with a huge hoard of cash, checking my accounts all day, muttering "my precious..." to myself and rubbing my hands together maniacally. I do NOT want to turn into that person.

Maybe a break is in order! :)

Rollin

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2015, 12:29:38 PM »
Painting a house is a lot of effort, but when you are done you can step back and see the impact!

Graduating from school (college, high school, whatever) is a lot of effort and gets you a diploma, likely some cards from friends and relatives in recognition, and a ceremony if you so choose.

Adjusting your financial life the way you have is a lot of effort, but when you are done (for now) it sometimes feels flat, or that you have more to do to eek that last 0.25 points out of a fund.  I've always said that about finances.  When I officially became debt free in June 2001 there was no award ceremony, no songs or parties, no certificates.  It was awesome, but it didn't have the feel of some other accomplishments.  Maybe that is what we are looking for?  On that note I sent a letter to some close friends who shared in my Mustachian ways and they sent me a card congratulating me!  Nice to share and this forum is another place to do that.  I just keep it balanced.

Maybe this will help:

GREAT JOB!

...now go outside and play :)
« Last Edit: March 25, 2015, 12:35:40 PM by Rollin »

dragoncar

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2015, 12:36:31 PM »
I can't take a break Thegoblinchief and Jamesqf are catching up fast!

Zikzin

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #21 on: March 25, 2015, 12:45:52 PM »
Here's another worth reading.
 http:/www.budgetsaresexy.com/2015/03/money-saying-rather-be-young/

Zikzin

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waffle

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #23 on: March 25, 2015, 01:39:14 PM »
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

- Dumbledore


Kaspian

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #24 on: March 25, 2015, 01:51:46 PM »
It's normal for human interest to wane when it understands a subject.  Infatuation can last a little while, then creep into obsession, but it usually subsides.  ...At least for me it does.  Luckily, even though a subject can wane in my mind, I'm stubborn enough to stick to a long-term plan and lifestyle once it's become embedded.  :)  I imagine I won't be visiting any FIRE sites a year or two from now, but still be saving my 50%+.

Gone Fishing

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #25 on: March 25, 2015, 03:14:33 PM »
I've been thinking about FIRE so much over the past year or so, that I told my wife the world is starting to look like the Matrix, only it is dollars flying around rather than code!  Doesn't help that work is slow.  I have a few rules that I only occasionally break: no forum until I finish my main tasks for the day and no forum in the evening.  I rarely logon on the weekends. I suspect when I FIRE,  I will spend much less time on the forum, just stopping by from time to time to post about how FIRE is going and see how everyone is getting along. 

johnny847

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #26 on: March 25, 2015, 04:54:57 PM »
I really feel like this as well. I'm probably in "The Lull" phase described above.

It's getting kinda crazy -- I'm checking my investment accounts and this forum about 100x a day. I've made a lot of changes in my life, but I'm starting to feel a few negative effects. Yes I have saved about 80% of my income over the past 3 months, but I'm also saying 'no' to a lot of fun things with friends -- outings, trips, etc. It's getting to the point where I feel like in 20 years I'll be this crazy person, alone with a huge hoard of cash, checking my accounts all day, muttering "my precious..." to myself and rubbing my hands together maniacally. I do NOT want to turn into that person.

Maybe a break is in order! :)
[emphasis added]

That happened to me too. You'll swing back eventually though, and you'll find your balance between spending now and saving for later.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #27 on: March 25, 2015, 05:03:37 PM »
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

- Dumbledore

I officially love that you worked Dumbledore into the forum.
_____
I'm glad I'm not the only person like this. I tend to become very passionate about an issue for a while (nutrition, cooking, exercise, reading the classics, etc) but once I have my pattern "set", I find I have much less need for community and research about the topic. I like to set it and forget it and move onto the next thing, and I'll cycle back to a previous topic if I lose direction or if the variables change and I need to reassess.

arebelspy

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #28 on: March 25, 2015, 05:07:12 PM »

I can't take a break Thegoblinchief and Jamesqf are catching up fast!

Jamesqf stopped posting over 9 months ago (and last forum visit was over 6 months ago). It doesn't appear that he's coming back.

I sure can't take a break though, lest dragoncar catch up. :)

In all honesty, when it isn't fun or is taking away from other parts of your life, it's time to back off.

I enjoy the community, it's no longer about FIRE for me.

I'm well into the "over checking spreadsheets and net worth" phase, and find updating money stuff to be a mildly annoying chore I do occasionally now.
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Thegoblinchief

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #29 on: March 25, 2015, 05:59:36 PM »
I can't take a break Thegoblinchief and Jamesqf are catching up fast!

Damn, didn't I pass you at one point? ;P

And sad to note  jamesqf is AWOL, I didnt even realize that. He was rather fun around here.

+1 to the way ARS worded ^^

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #30 on: March 25, 2015, 10:04:56 PM »
I get tired of it as well. And right now I'm at that point. The multiple posts playah hating the Apple Watch were really a bit too much for me.

dragoncar

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #31 on: March 26, 2015, 12:11:14 AM »

I can't take a break Thegoblinchief and Jamesqf are catching up fast!

Jamesqf stopped posting over 9 months ago (and last forum visit was over 6 months ago). It doesn't appear that he's coming back.

I sure can't take a break though, lest dragoncar catch up. :)

In all honesty, when it isn't fun or is taking away from other parts of your life, it's time to back off.

I enjoy the community, it's no longer about FIRE for me.

I'm well into the "over checking spreadsheets and net worth" phase, and find updating money stuff to be a mildly annoying chore I do occasionally now.

Yeah, I have some weeks where I get busy and stop visiting the forum.  Neurotic me gets a little sad hitting "mark all read" when I have like 500 unread threads.  But I have to admit sometimes this forum is just a child of my idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy, which is as thin of substance as the air, and more inconstant than the wind, who woos even now the frozen bosom of the north, and, being angered, puffs away from thence, turning his face to the dew-dropping south.

Also sad to hear about jamesqf -- I don't really track the post counts in real time.  Big shock, I know.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 12:13:49 AM by dragoncar »

mostlyeels

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #32 on: March 26, 2015, 03:55:32 AM »
I absolutely share this feeling!

I have actually been considering making a post asking if others were feeling the same way.

I dove in, got excited, made tons of changes, and... now we wait.

Same.  I got all my optimisation done early on, then stopped reading for months because I'd applied all the things I could learn from the forum.  I dropped by every now and then and found I'd drifted back to slightly spendy habits, so it was a good reset.  Now that I'm fairly close to my number (maybe less than a year), I'm finding the forum is helping me in a different way.

deborah

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #33 on: March 26, 2015, 04:16:05 AM »
Ah well, I'll soon be hitting the road for a while... and again... and again... no forum for me during each of those episodes. For some reason, I am suddenly about to travel a bit! SO is going to have to man the fort!

happy

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #34 on: March 26, 2015, 04:23:35 AM »
Quote
Also sad to hear about jamesqf -
+1 I miss those gritty grumpy jamesqf posts.

Well I've been hanging here since 2012 for one or other reasons. In the old days I read all the posts, but that is too time consuming for me  now. I too have taken myself off for a break when I thought I was getting too obsessed.  For a while when the forum was growing at a crazy pace, I wanted it to go back to its old smaller size and thought about quitting again.

Now I keep hanging around because:
-I was a bit of a financial dunce, and I have a lot of catching up to do.
- the forum has a rare collection of INTJ females, very hard to find IRL, who I enjoy hanging out with
- the increased Aussie contingent rekindled my interest…local relevance is very helpful. I'm ever grateful for my compatriot Marty998 asking if there were such things as 401i, 401j or 401l.
- even though I've changed a lot of things and think I'm optimised, I keep finding more to do.
- the new post FIRE room is cool, I read all the posts there.
- I find lots of interesting links to blogs, articles etc etc that I wouldn't have found myself

But whatever floats your boat…lots of folks seem to join for a while and then stop posting. Others come and go. But if you want to challenge  the big boys post count you won't be able to slack off.


deborah

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #35 on: March 26, 2015, 05:22:47 AM »
I thought I was going away once this year - my first international trip since 1993! Then I was going to Western Australia for a while as well. Now I'm going on two more trips O/S. It's all happening! So that's four major trips!

Who is challenging the big boys?

marty998

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #36 on: March 26, 2015, 05:28:06 AM »

- the increased Aussie contingent rekindled my interest…local relevance is very helpful. I'm ever grateful for my compatriot Marty998 asking if there were such things as 401i, 401j or 401l.


ha I remember that post. Don't think anybody answered it in the end

Most of the Forum is not about money anymore. Every thread seems to be a variant of sex, birth, marriage, divorce, death, or a combination-fried-rice jumble of all of them.

It had to happen eventually LOL.

brooklynguy

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #37 on: March 26, 2015, 07:58:19 AM »
But I have to admit sometimes this forum is just a child of my idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy, which is as thin of substance as the air, and more inconstant than the wind, who woos even now the frozen bosom of the north, and, being angered, puffs away from thence, turning his face to the dew-dropping south.

Geez, dragoncar, you should become, like, a playwright or something.

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #38 on: March 26, 2015, 08:08:17 AM »
I can relate to this thread. 

My plan is set in motion too and I am about 5 years out from being FI.   I've been here on this forum for close to 2 years now.  At one point, once I had realized that I had spent decades frittering away money and that my FI date was several years out, I felt very frustrated when I read stuff on the forum.  At that time, I stepped away from spending so much time on here.  (Basically, I think this has replaced the cable we cancelled.)

Then the negative feelings passed and now I like staying in touch especially on the journals.  I like reading about people's lives and their finances.  Like Happy's post above, I also get ideas on books to read and blogs to check out that I wouldn't have on my own.  Right now, I am working through YMOYL and reading "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg.  Lean In is very interesting and not what I thought it would be. 


johnny847

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #39 on: March 26, 2015, 08:39:35 AM »

- the increased Aussie contingent rekindled my interest…local relevance is very helpful. I'm ever grateful for my compatriot Marty998 asking if there were such things as 401i, 401j or 401l.


ha I remember that post. Don't think anybody answered it in the end

Ha! Reminds me of the Friends episode where Phoebe defends working at the spa chain because they have benefits like a 401k, except she pronounced it four oh wunk.

In an episode many seasons before that, Chandler said "People are signing over their 401k's to me!" when trying to set up Rachel on a date. To which Phoebe said wait you guys make robots?!


Sorry for the off topic blurb, but Friends is my favorite show of all time =)

Bob W

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #40 on: March 26, 2015, 08:51:46 AM »
Have you really explored all the aspects of the forum?   Did you do a case study post?   Do you have a journal?  Do you mentor?   

My guess would be that you could do nicely with a once a week sunday morning visit.  Say your prayers and put some money in the plate and move on with the rest of the day.

Good work and good luck!

dragoncar

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #41 on: March 26, 2015, 11:14:15 AM »
But I have to admit sometimes this forum is just a child of my idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy, which is as thin of substance as the air, and more inconstant than the wind, who woos even now the frozen bosom of the north, and, being angered, puffs away from thence, turning his face to the dew-dropping south.

Geez, dragoncar, you should become, like, a playwright or something.

Forsooth

TheMoneyBadger

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #42 on: March 26, 2015, 03:06:39 PM »
I've been talking to some friends in similar situations. To me, it's not really a matter of whether you take a break but whether you're happy with your current situation.  I think altogether too many future early-retirees are striving for that future day when they can retire and be happy without adequate focus on happiness with where they are now.  I recently saw a TED Talk that really clicked for me (and caused me to write a blog post about it).  It's 12 minutes long and very much worth the time.
http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en

Long story short, focus on the positive and if you're hanging out on the forums make sure you're focused on the "yeah, I'm on a great path that's filled with great things" rather than the "I have so long to go, especially compared to some other folks".
 

tyd450

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #43 on: March 26, 2015, 08:25:42 PM »
Good ted talk! 

Dicey

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #44 on: March 26, 2015, 11:06:48 PM »
Quote
Also sad to hear about jamesqf -
+1 I miss those gritty grumpy jamesqf posts.

Now I keep hanging around because:

- the new post FIRE room is cool, I read all the posts there.

But whatever floats your boat…lots of folks seem to join for a while and then stop posting. Others come and go. But if you want to challenge  the big boys post count you won't be able to slack off.

Wow, I've been absent a lot lately, as real life has kept me unusually busy. Darn! It looks like I missed a Big New Development. FIRE room, what FIRE room?

I think there are always new things to learn, but since FIRE, i've slowed the forum pace a bit. I mostly come back to check on people I think are interesting and to offer encouragement to others on their journeys to freedom.

deborah

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #45 on: March 26, 2015, 11:28:23 PM »
Wow, I've been absent a lot lately, as real life has kept me unusually busy. Darn! It looks like I missed a Big New Development. FIRE room, what FIRE room?
Post-Fire SubForum - http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/

Dicey

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #46 on: March 27, 2015, 11:45:08 AM »
Thanks, deborah, I found it last night and thus have had very little sleep and am back here again this morning. Perhaps it's good I didn't notice it earlier. Damn, just when I had my MMM Forum time down to a more manageable level! First-world, post-FIRE "problem", I guess.
(With apologies to the Grammar Nazis who have specific preferences regarding the use of quotation marks, lol.)

fartface

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #47 on: March 29, 2015, 06:47:50 AM »
I really feel like this as well. I'm probably in "The Lull" phase described above.

It's getting kinda crazy -- I'm checking my investment accounts and this forum about 100x a day. I've made a lot of changes in my life, but I'm starting to feel a few negative effects. Yes I have saved about 80% of my income over the past 3 months, but I'm also saying 'no' to a lot of fun things with friends -- outings, trips, etc. It's getting to the point where I feel like in 20 years I'll be this crazy person, alone with a huge hoard of cash, checking my accounts all day, muttering "my precious..." to myself and rubbing my hands together maniacally. I do NOT want to turn into that person.

Maybe a break is in order! :)

LMAO...THAT's hilarious, and sadly, I saw myself in your words!

I just wrote a check to charity for $50 and it felt good.

DH and I went out last night to watch the Badger game at a local bar (b/c we don't have cable). Had a grrreat night out for about $45. Totally worth it! 

My friend invited me to a concert in the city. Tickets ~$100. I said, "Nah, not really my thing, but thanks." Fighting traffic, paying for parking + ticket price + beer/food/etc. Totally unappealing to me. I didn't feel I was depriving myself of anything there...

So, in sum, it's all about balance. I do have to work actively on this now b/c  "no" is my response by default. I have to consciously spend. If I REALLY want it, I can have it/do it. I'm ok with desiring less in life. I think it's better for everyone to have a 'want-less mindset'.  It's not about the cost it's about the value. Can I afford a $4 bottle of Fiji Water? Of course. Do I value that? No way!

Melody

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #48 on: March 29, 2015, 05:07:40 PM »
I found once I stopped thinking about it my spending gradually crept up... Still saving a lot, but no longer optimised... So I am back to reading regularly. I never really stopped going to meet ups though, because meet ups are fun!!!

Cookie78

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Re: Leaving this forum to keep my sanity?
« Reply #49 on: March 30, 2015, 09:04:04 AM »
Long story short, focus on the positive and if you're hanging out on the forums make sure you're focused on the "yeah, I'm on a great path that's filled with great things" rather than the "I have so long to go, especially compared to some other folks".

I wrote this down on a sticky note when I first read it and have been looking at it periodically ever since. I can't help but keep saying it out loud and it is doing awesome things for my sanity. :) Right now it's on my bedside table and it's one of the first things I see each morning. What a great reminder. Thank you.