Leaving a position

[JZinCO]

Today, I broke it to my supervisor that I'll be leaving for another position. I was very nervous about having this discussion and it was hard to come out my mouth but I did it.

I told them I was leaning heavily towards accepting that position, inadvertently giving them the opening to negotiate. He asked some questions and I obliged: How much was the offer, what would I be doing there, etc. The discussion then turned towards "well, I can't blame you because that is alot more but if we run the numbers, we may be able to counter more", and "we can pay you to work on some of those tasks which you would be doing in your new position", etc. In essence, alot of salesmanship on their end to keep me. And it was convincing. The worst part was the emotions: "oh man... this is such a bummer..geez, we can't lose you..my day was going great until now". This conversation occurred after a meeting in which I showed I was closing in on a finished product. I almost wish I was a less productive team member so that I wouldn't be missed. I was made to feel like a jackass for even considering leaving and didn't think there would be so much self-guilt. I was expecting, "oh, you're leaving? darn, that'll be disappointing and would set us back, but we're glad you are pursuing your professional interests.".

I enjoy my current position; I am funded to work on specifically work on topics that I do find interesting. On the other hand, I will have freedom to self-direct what projects I work on in the new position. In addition, I've already been at a point for the past month where I feel overwhelmed with independent contracting on the side so I am always striving to be effective in my roles and please the boss/clients.

Tomorrow morning I will be having another meeting in which I am sure my current supervisor and their supervisor will try to incentivize me to stay. I know I will have to steer the conversation from negotiating my staying towards negotiating my transition. I aim to be flexible and can even stay on for 3 more months to get some contracts finished. I feel almost obligated to stay on for these because I know the contracts cannot get done without me and there is noone on staff with the same skill sets.

Thanks for reading. Any words of wisdom? I know what I need to do but if anyone can share similar experiences it will help me tomorrow.

[AK]

Early this year, I had a similar dilemma.... Take a new position or stay at the current one that matched the offer. Most people will tell you to take the new job but do not burn your bridges, especially if management knows you're looking.

My choice was to stay. My salary increased and was promoted. Overall, I'm much happier now.

Considerations.... Your relationship with management may become strained and awkward. Will you now be passed over for promotions and raises in the future? Will the new position offer you additional opportunities that your current position may not? money is not everything so if you stay will you be looking again in the near future?

For me, being underpaid was my reason for looking. Once that was rectified, the job search stopped. Keep in mind though that most people that accept the counter offer leave after 6-12 months.

[JZinCO]

Thanks AK. I should add that this new position is for someone I have worked for in the past, so I understand what I would be getting into. It is not a 'the grass is greener on the other side' situation.

[LeRainDrop]

I don't have my own experience to offer here, but thought I'd share the classic advice on this topic by Ask A Manager:  http://www.askamanager.org/2012/03/why-you-shouldnt-take-a-counteroffer.html

[Retire-Canada]

Breaking up can be hard. Be kind, but firm. You are giving them lots of flexibility which is nice. Consider offering to finish up the projects you mentioned as a contractor to get them in the transition mindframe.

About all you could have done differently was say you had accepted the new gig and signed a contract there..just so there was no ambiguity about you staying.

Good luck with the new direction.:)

[svndezafrohman]

Wow. this is exactly the same situation I am in. I even made my own post a couple of days ago "When is it worth it to take the job offer"

I fee exactly what your going through. I haven't brought up my new offer to my supervisor yet, but we will see how that goes.

I doubt they will match it or even raise it, like your company did, since it would be practically a 20% raise.

But, I am kind of scared that they will match it, making my decision to leave much harder.

[WingsFan4Life]

I am currently waiting on a background screening to go through before I put in my two weeks notice. I can't wait because my commute will be cut in half and I will get a 12% raise!

[JZinCO]

Thanks alot for your thoughts, guys. I had that meeting today.
 I think that if I spoke up, a couple months ago and said "hey, I have a possible position elsewhere", my current employer could have negotiated for me to stay. I'm sure they could have matched (16% raise) and I would've been content. Regardless, I have made up my mind and was able to make clear that I am leaving and need to negotiate a transition.
I didn't mention that this new position is with the same, very large employer in a different department. My current supervisor now wants to talk with the future supervisor to see if they can contract out future work with us...