Was all the paint used before 1978 lead paint??
Most of them. Lead was used to make the white base that tints are added to.
What about varnishes / shellac? Our trim is all wood-colored (house is from 1964). I googled it but found mixed info.
My 1910s stained wood trim is lead-free, to the eternal shock of window contractors. It has been painted over with white, but apparently well after 1978.
Since the primary use for lead in residential paint was white lead (lead carbonate/hydroxide) pigment for the white color - it is not surprising to me you found no lead in the stain. Oil based (alkyd) stains might have a tiny bit of lead added as a catalyst for drying, but it's not terribly likely. Cobalt, Barium, Zinc, Zirconium, Calcium - quite a variety of metals are used in small amounts so that oil paints dry properly.
After WWII, Titanium Dioxide became more widely available and cheaper - it's a better white pigment than white lead. Once it became affordable, most of the housepaint manufacturers started phasing out lead voluntarily. The 1978 law did put the cap on things, but lead was already mostly gone from house paint.
However:
Lead was still being used extensively for painting steel (think bridges) - this is an orangey-red primer called Red Lead (lead oxide) - it's great for stopping corrosion. Nothing better. It was still being used in the USA at least into the 1990s, often covered with an aluminum flake topcoat. Lead levels in red lead primer are WAY higher than most housepaints. Later use often cut back the red lead and substituted other anticorrosives, so the color may vary.
Some artists still insist on using white lead paint for the color/hue. I think they're idiots, but there ya go.
I'm not a big fan of the little chemical/color change lead tests. Too many false negatives/false positives. The EPA had to loosen their original standards just to get some on the list. The portable XRF* "lead gun" is faster and more accurate. However, it just tells you if lead is present, not whether there is an exposure risk.
Peeling lead paint, lead dust, window frames, outdoor housepaint - these are the big exposure risks in the home.
Other common lead exposure routes:
Brass. Keys and plumbing fixtures most likely. Those house keys in your pocket probably have ~2% lead in them because it makes the brass easy to machine (cut) - never let a baby chew on your keys, or hang out near the key cutting station at the hardware store.
Galvanizing. Might be no lead, might be up to 4% lead.
Lead pipes/solder: Especially in older homes/neighborhoods. Flint is the perfect example - if the water is properly inhibited, exposure to lead is very low because there is a very thin protective film built up inside the plumbing. If you fuck up the water supply, you destroy the protective buildup and start poisoning people.
Target shooting. Wash up afterward!
Casting bullets/fishing weights.
* X-Ray Fluorescence. Basically, shoot the surface with X-rays, and look for an excitement response (fluorescence) coming back that is characteristic of lead. Since the X-rays penetrate, typically you are analyzing the top several mm (at least) of the surface being tested. Exposed, dusty lead paint will show up the same as encapsulated lead paint. Every metal has a characteristic fluorescence pattern/peaks
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-ray_fluorescence#/media/File:XRFScan.jpg