Author Topic: Lady staches?  (Read 120391 times)

madgeylou

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #150 on: May 09, 2013, 06:50:49 AM »
Bras are one area where I find I have to spend a decent amount of money to get a good result. I wear Primadonna bras because the engineering in them is fantastic and I am quite a busty lady -- like, in the middle of the alphabet as a cup size!

They are usually upwards of $100 each, but I know my size and the styles that work on me, and I'm not too picky about color, so I can usually end up getting them for $50-60.

KatieSSS

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #151 on: May 09, 2013, 07:53:12 AM »
Thanks for the great suggestions! I'm going to check out Freya for sure.

I've had TONS of bra fittings, and based on my rib cage size (34 or 36) they always try to put me in a C cup. And every single time I look at them and say, "no, I'm not a C" and they bring me those bras anyway. Then there is this moment where I put on the bra and open the door to the fitting room and the salesperson goes "oh...yeah, you aren't a C." What gave you that idea? The gaping space between my actual breasts and the fabric of the bra? Seriously, every time I waste so much time trying to convince them I'm not a C. The size I currently wear is either 36 A or 34 B. The issue is I have a wide ribcage, but small breasts.

And as far as the bra being tight enough around, that is EXACTLY what gives me that "back fat" look. I feel like my main problem is having a bra that is tight enough to support me, but not so tight that it creates back fat.

Le sigh...I think I'll have to spend considerable amount of time shopping, something I absolutely hate!

KatieSSS

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #152 on: May 09, 2013, 08:05:29 AM »
Bumping this up to ask a random lady question: Bras!

I am in that situation where my bras are on their last legs. They have stretched out and no longer really hold the shape. I've always bought my bras at Victoria's Secret, but I'm not too happy with how they hold up and I'm looking for a better investment.

It would be a bonus if I could find a bra that doesn't show the lines on your back (aka "back fat"). I'm thin and I still have it!

So what is your go-to brand, ladies?

This post on APW was amazing: http://apracticalwedding.com/2013/04/find-bras-that-fit/

I swear by Freya and they're about $60-70 a pop. Totally worth it. YMMV though.

That post was REALLY helpful, thank you! I've got the name of a specialty store in DC which isn't too hard for me to get to. I also might venture to a Nordstrom's Rack during lunch today since several people have mentioned Nordstrom's as a good place to go for bras. I can at least try on some sizes and make notes as to what I like and don't like.

icefr

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #153 on: May 09, 2013, 09:54:58 AM »
That post was REALLY helpful, thank you! I've got the name of a specialty store in DC which isn't too hard for me to get to. I also might venture to a Nordstrom's Rack during lunch today since several people have mentioned Nordstrom's as a good place to go for bras. I can at least try on some sizes and make notes as to what I like and don't like.

Go to Nordstrom and get measured and figure out your correct size and then check out Nordstrom Rack for the deals. They won't measure you at the Rack, but if you know how to tell it fits, then going to the Rack isn't a bad idea.

Having properly fitting bras is the most amazing thing ever!! :) I remember the first time I got fitted into a 28 instead of the 32s I'd been wearing. It was AMAZING!

psychomoustache

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #154 on: May 09, 2013, 10:12:06 AM »
Oh boy bras are a friggin' pain here too ... OK anonymous site so... 32 E here.
Like Madgeylou I feel the investment's important, but I also find it annoying as heck. So I go to ebay, where they have, at least here where I live, very high-end bras for about 10.

I am dreaming of one day getting "the operation". I could lose about 250 grams in each breast, and I think I'd just feel so much better. But it's 3000 and I'm not quite big enough to get it reimbursed  : (
it's on hold, maybe for my 50th birthday or something.

KatieSSS

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #155 on: May 09, 2013, 10:51:00 AM »
That post was REALLY helpful, thank you! I've got the name of a specialty store in DC which isn't too hard for me to get to. I also might venture to a Nordstrom's Rack during lunch today since several people have mentioned Nordstrom's as a good place to go for bras. I can at least try on some sizes and make notes as to what I like and don't like.

Go to Nordstrom and get measured and figure out your correct size and then check out Nordstrom Rack for the deals. They won't measure you at the Rack, but if you know how to tell it fits, then going to the Rack isn't a bad idea.

Having properly fitting bras is the most amazing thing ever!! :) I remember the first time I got fitted into a 28 instead of the 32s I'd been wearing. It was AMAZING!

Over my lunch hour I went to Nordstrom's Rack and tried on a few sizes, ranging from 34A - 36C. Still not a C cup. Not a 34. I also determined that I like the spanx-like material because it gives less back-fat. However, it doesn't quite eliminate it. The 36B was really close, the only problem being where the strap sit and how it created back fat. Perhaps I need larger than a 36? Maybe I'll take a trip to Nordstrom's this weekend and get fitted. Could be a nice Saturday excursion!

ETA: The bra I liked the best at Nordstrom's Rack was only $25! So hopefully I can find my size and good style at Nordstrom's and then get them at the Rack for cheaper :)

smalllife

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #156 on: May 09, 2013, 12:00:46 PM »
The 36B was really close, the only problem being where the strap sit and how it created back fat. Perhaps I need larger than a 36? Maybe I'll take a trip to Nordstrom's this weekend and get fitted. Could be a nice Saturday excursion!

ETA: The bra I liked the best at Nordstrom's Rack was only $25! So hopefully I can find my size and good style at Nordstrom's and then get them at the Rack for cheaper :)

It's actually the other way around - "back fat" is an indication that the bra band is too big.  It's counter-intuitive, but that's the case.   Seriously, take a measuring tape and figure out the dimension right under the breast.  That number is your band size (in most bands).  If it's an odd number you will be between the two.   That's what a fitter will do for you, but at least with that number you can be knowledgeable about what they should be bringing you.

KatieSSS

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #157 on: May 09, 2013, 12:58:20 PM »
The 36B was really close, the only problem being where the strap sit and how it created back fat. Perhaps I need larger than a 36? Maybe I'll take a trip to Nordstrom's this weekend and get fitted. Could be a nice Saturday excursion!

ETA: The bra I liked the best at Nordstrom's Rack was only $25! So hopefully I can find my size and good style at Nordstrom's and then get them at the Rack for cheaper :)

It's actually the other way around - "back fat" is an indication that the bra band is too big.  It's counter-intuitive, but that's the case.   Seriously, take a measuring tape and figure out the dimension right under the breast.  That number is your band size (in most bands).  If it's an odd number you will be between the two.   That's what a fitter will do for you, but at least with that number you can be knowledgeable about what they should be bringing you.

Really? Then how come the "back fat" is worse in tighter bras? The tighter the band, the more the fat protrudes out the top! I wonder if it is more of a placement issue, like a thicker band would be better because it covers more area and "sits" better. I haven't measured myself in a while, but I'm pretty sure the last time I did it I was a 35. I'll do it again when I get home.

smalllife

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #158 on: May 09, 2013, 01:07:43 PM »
The 36B was really close, the only problem being where the strap sit and how it created back fat. Perhaps I need larger than a 36? Maybe I'll take a trip to Nordstrom's this weekend and get fitted. Could be a nice Saturday excursion!

ETA: The bra I liked the best at Nordstrom's Rack was only $25! So hopefully I can find my size and good style at Nordstrom's and then get them at the Rack for cheaper :)

It's actually the other way around - "back fat" is an indication that the bra band is too big.  It's counter-intuitive, but that's the case.   Seriously, take a measuring tape and figure out the dimension right under the breast.  That number is your band size (in most bands).  If it's an odd number you will be between the two.   That's what a fitter will do for you, but at least with that number you can be knowledgeable about what they should be bringing you.

Really? Then how come the "back fat" is worse in tighter bras? The tighter the band, the more the fat protrudes out the top! I wonder if it is more of a placement issue, like a thicker band would be better because it covers more area and "sits" better. I haven't measured myself in a while, but I'm pretty sure the last time I did it I was a 35. I'll do it again when I get home.

A properly fitting band should be parallel with the floor, generally back fat is caused by a band that is riding up (a sign that it is too big).  Another thing to realize is that there will always be some back fat, just because of the contours of the body and where the elastic is hitting.  I find that the thicker ones are better, but adjusting the placement is the biggest factor. Everyone's body is different though.

Over a period of wearing the wrong size, breast matter migrates to the side of the rib cage.  If you make a point to pull the girls to the front when putting on the bra this should decrease over time, simultaneously reducing the appearance of back fat.

KatieSSS

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #159 on: May 09, 2013, 01:11:13 PM »
The 36B was really close, the only problem being where the strap sit and how it created back fat. Perhaps I need larger than a 36? Maybe I'll take a trip to Nordstrom's this weekend and get fitted. Could be a nice Saturday excursion!

ETA: The bra I liked the best at Nordstrom's Rack was only $25! So hopefully I can find my size and good style at Nordstrom's and then get them at the Rack for cheaper :)

It's actually the other way around - "back fat" is an indication that the bra band is too big.  It's counter-intuitive, but that's the case.   Seriously, take a measuring tape and figure out the dimension right under the breast.  That number is your band size (in most bands).  If it's an odd number you will be between the two.   That's what a fitter will do for you, but at least with that number you can be knowledgeable about what they should be bringing you.

Really? Then how come the "back fat" is worse in tighter bras? The tighter the band, the more the fat protrudes out the top! I wonder if it is more of a placement issue, like a thicker band would be better because it covers more area and "sits" better. I haven't measured myself in a while, but I'm pretty sure the last time I did it I was a 35. I'll do it again when I get home.

A properly fitting band should be parallel with the floor, generally back fat is caused by a band that is riding up (a sign that it is too big).  Another thing to realize is that there will always be some back fat, just because of the contours of the body and where the elastic is hitting.  I find that the thicker ones are better, but adjusting the placement is the biggest factor. Everyone's body is different though.

Over a period of wearing the wrong size, breast matter migrates to the side of the rib cage.  If you make a point to pull the girls to the front when putting on the bra this should decrease over time, simultaneously reducing the appearance of back fat.

Interesting. For as long as I can remember, the girls have been more to the side than to the front. It has been a running joke that I can fit a hand between the two and that I cannot create cleavage - EVER. My guess is I am just naturally this way, but having a bad bra fit isn't helping.

Does anyone else immediately take their bra off when they get home? I do! I would go bra-less if I could.

psychomoustache

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #160 on: May 09, 2013, 01:25:03 PM »
I am the opposite - I wish I could have a permanent bra built onto my body so my "girls" would never move and flop around, EVER. They are big and hot and I want them in a nice tight package out of my WAY.

Interesting topic, LOL.

icefr

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #161 on: May 09, 2013, 02:59:31 PM »
Does anyone else immediately take their bra off when they get home? I do! I would go bra-less if I could.

First thing I do when I get home, most days! I also hate wearing shoes. It's so hard for bras to stay fitting right, so I usually only have ~2 that fit perfectly at any given time and then another 4 that are okay.

KatieSSS

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #162 on: May 13, 2013, 11:36:44 AM »
Turns out you all were right about the band size! I was wearing a 36 and I really should be a 32! I got a fitting this weekend and came home with two extremely comfortable bras. The brands are Spanx and Natori. Now that I know which bras work for me, I'll be able to shop at Nordstrom's rack and get them for half the price in the future!

icefr

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #163 on: May 13, 2013, 01:08:31 PM »
Turns out you all were right about the band size! I was wearing a 36 and I really should be a 32! I got a fitting this weekend and came home with two extremely comfortable bras. The brands are Spanx and Natori. Now that I know which bras work for me, I'll be able to shop at Nordstrom's rack and get them for half the price in the future!

Woohoo! Isn't that the best feeling ever? :)

Shandi76

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #164 on: May 13, 2013, 03:45:12 PM »
I also just found out around a year ago that I was wearing the wrong size bra. Last time I got measured (several years ago) I was told by the fitter that I was a 36AA. This was based on having a 30.5" underbust measurement and 35" overbust (I'm pretty flat chested). This is because of some weird rule where you round up to the nearest inch, then add 4 inches if it is an even number, or 5 inches if it is an odd number, to get the band size.

36AA is not an easy size to find, and I always immediately wore them in the tightest hook setting and could get 2 hands under the band, which should have set alarm bells ringing. I'm now wearing 32B bras which fit a lot better, and helpfully are a slightly more common size so easier to find. I tried a 30" band but it was just too tight. And it turns out that since my upper back posture has improved from doing Cross Fit, my underbust measurement has expanded and is now closer to 32" anyway. Who knew slouching was part of the problem?

Zaga

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #165 on: May 13, 2013, 05:29:56 PM »
It also took my years to find the right bra.  I'm just exceptionally lucky that "the right bra" for me costs less than $10 from the children's section of either Walmart or Target.  Sometimes it's good to be tiny and flat chested!

Once I found this pearl of wisdom, I had friends ask me quietly if my chest was larger.  It wasn't, just supported correctly for the first time ever.

Constance Noring

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #166 on: May 13, 2013, 09:12:27 PM »
I also just found out around a year ago that I was wearing the wrong size bra. Last time I got measured (several years ago) I was told by the fitter that I was a 36AA. This was based on having a 30.5" underbust measurement and 35" overbust (I'm pretty flat chested). This is because of some weird rule where you round up to the nearest inch, then add 4 inches if it is an even number, or 5 inches if it is an odd number, to get the band size.

It's supposed to be that the underbust measurement is the band size, and the difference between the overbust and underbust gives you the cup size - A is one inch, B is two, etc.

Quote
36AA is not an easy size to find, and I always immediately wore them in the tightest hook setting and could get 2 hands under the band, which should have set alarm bells ringing. I'm now wearing 32B bras which fit a lot better, and helpfully are a slightly more common size so easier to find. I tried a 30" band but it was just too tight. And it turns out that since my upper back posture has improved from doing Cross Fit, my underbust measurement has expanded and is now closer to 32" anyway. Who knew slouching was part of the problem?

Oh lordie, I'm cringing at the very thought! I know/think way too much about bras.

Shandi76

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #167 on: May 14, 2013, 06:17:35 AM »

It's supposed to be that the underbust measurement is the band size, and the difference between the overbust and underbust gives you the cup size - A is one inch, B is two, etc.

Quote
36AA is not an easy size to find, and I always immediately wore them in the tightest hook setting and could get 2 hands under the band, which should have set alarm bells ringing. I'm now wearing 32B bras which fit a lot better, and helpfully are a slightly more common size so easier to find. I tried a 30" band but it was just too tight. And it turns out that since my upper back posture has improved from doing Cross Fit, my underbust measurement has expanded and is now closer to 32" anyway. Who knew slouching was part of the problem?

Oh lordie, I'm cringing at the very thought! I know/think way too much about bras.


I think if I had a larger bust I would have been more sceptical. But I just thought I was freakishly flat chested and that no bras were designed to fit my size as it would be too niche a market :-/ And I didn't get back pain (except some I put down to my hunched posture) or any real problems (except some uncomfortable movement when doing high impact sports) and I think because I don't have much to support the straps did manage to handle a lot of the support. I was pretty pleasantly surprised by the difference switching to the smaller band size made though :-)

maryofdoom

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #168 on: May 14, 2013, 08:28:24 AM »
Bras are the WORST! I have to go buy some new ones and I am not looking forward to it. Because I need at least a 32DD and possibly a 32E. Ugh.

Oddly enough, I saw some good bra advice from the lady who runs CakeWrecks. Check it out here: http://www.epbot.com/2013/04/everything-you-never-knew-you-needed-to.html

Another (non) bonus of bra shopping for the full-busted lady: the bras are FUCKING EXPENSIVE. I know that a good bra is really awesome and necessary, but I still cringe at having to pay $50+ for underwear.

icefr

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #169 on: May 14, 2013, 09:19:43 AM »
Another (non) bonus of bra shopping for the full-busted lady: the bras are FUCKING EXPENSIVE. I know that a good bra is really awesome and necessary, but I still cringe at having to pay $50+ for underwear.

Be glad you don't live in Canada! The import taxes are worse than in the US, so I was paying $90-130 with taxes for the same bras that I pay $50-70 for in the US.

Adventine

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #170 on: May 26, 2013, 11:21:02 PM »
I used to have an extremely difficult time finding affordable bras. That changed a while back, not because I found a good brand but I because lost 25 pounds (thanks in part to a more active Mustachian lifestyle). Then it became shockingly easy to find bras that fit ~just right~. Another reason to walk/bike everywhere, really.

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #171 on: May 27, 2013, 02:55:34 AM »
Ive instituted a few changes since I've become more committed to achieving FI. I have high standards about how l look (you only live once, and I want to enjoy what I have while I still have it, and I also need to look polished and pulled together for my job)  and I'm saving a ton of money but think I still look the same as when I was spending a lot.

I've switched from department store make-up to drug store make-up with no problems.

I cut my hair myself. This is not as grim as it sounds!  I usually wind up doing this when I move because I don't feel like finding a new stylist, but now I'm doing it to save money. My hair is wavy and kind of long, and every once in a while I trim my bangs.  I don't think it looked any better when I would go to a stylist- it was really more for the pampering.  I don't color my hair, but if I wanted to I would do it myself. I used to when I was a (poor!) student and I think it looked fine. i didn't do anything complicated though, just the semi-permanent rinse type.  I don't use any products beyond shampoo and conditioner.

I am 2 months into a pledge to not buy any clothes for a year. It has been super easy so far. I have plenty of clothes, really nice ones, and even in several sizes if I go up or down a bit! 

I've started doing my own pedicures. This one I'm really not so sure about. I live in a warm climate and my feet are out every day and I need to look pulled together for work. I might alternate doing it myself with getting them done professionally.

Tweeze my eyebrows myself instead of getting them waxed.

This one I feel really strongly about. If you have good health insurance, just go to a dermatologist for any skin issues, instead of trying different products. If an over the counter product doesn't work, trying 2 or 3 or 4 more over the counter things probably won't work either.  I'm done wasting $ on things that don't work.  And we all to get a yearly skin cancer check anyway, might as well talk about your other issues while you're there.  And I'm not into the facials either. They were fun for pampering, but for me the results were negligible. I have had good results from chemical peels, but am not into spending that money right now.  I also had fantastic results from Botox- not for my looks, I thought I looked exactly the same with it, but my daily headaches went away 100%. This was life changing for me. After 3 rounds, the Botox wore off a few months ago and the headaches are mostly still gone.  I think those muscles got out of the habit of clenching when I was stressed and haven't started again. It's not cheap, but I would spend a few hundred again if the pain started up again (and no, my insurance won't cover it)

And working out, eating right and sleeping enough is HUGE. Working out is what makes the clothes look good, and diet and sleep take care of the skin!  After a few weeks/months of green smoothies I see a big difference in my skin.



rollie_in_mn

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #172 on: May 27, 2013, 08:35:37 PM »
On the topic of bras - I'll confess to being a 36D, and I've been wearing Vanity Fair brand from Macy's for years. Those bras (for me) have been bulletproof, and Macy's always coupons/sales. I think I pay on average $15 for a bra there, and it will last a few years.

Love this thread, btw!! There should be a special place for the lady 'staches to congregate :)

27Jennifer

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #173 on: May 27, 2013, 08:58:17 PM »
Rollie I love that idea, separate category!

Maddie

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #174 on: June 03, 2013, 02:53:43 AM »
Great thread.  I noticed a couple of people mentioned "sugaring" instead of waxing.  I do this, and it has changed my life!  Ok, maybe a slight exaggeration ;) but I would absolutely recommend it for hair removal!  I have been waxing for half my life - I used to get it professionally done, then I moved to "veet" (tried Nads and other brands as well)  which seemed to get more useless every time I used it but cheaper than going to a beautician.....

Then I discover sugaring - it is seriously cheap to make (2 cups sugar, 1/4 cup lemon juice, 1/4 cup water) and seriously quick and easy to make (especially if you have a candy thermometer).  It is also a lot more gentle on your skin - It definitely takes away the dead skin but doesn't rip off healthy skin the way normal waxing seems to.  My skin has been a lot less dry and in better condition since I started sugaring.  I use it on my lower legs (don't need to wax my thighs), under arms and bikini line.

A few other benefits - it doesn't seem to hurt as much as regular waxing (although not pain free), and apparently it only pulls the hairs out NOT your skin....  My legs actually haven't looked so smooth in years.  As it is water soluble, it wipes off very easily - no more stuff getting stuck to you after you have finished ;).  I also seem to get way less ingrown hairs than waxing... 

Anyway, here is the recipe I used, I also include the links I looked at to get some more background info:

Used this recipe and directions:
http://tipnut.com/body-sugaring/

Some notes:
-This also works with grapefruit juice (I ran out of lemons once)
-For the cotton strips, I cut up an old bed sheet - you can customise the sizes. I found smaller pieces worked better for the bikini line

I found it useful to:
-Lay out a towel to sit on and protect the floor from the mixture (it's quite sticky)
-Have a damp hand-towel with me to clean my hands and the knife I used to spread the mixture on my legs.  This stopped everything getting too sticky as I went along (as the mixture is water soluble it easily wiped off - unlike wax!)
-The recipes seem to conflict on which way you should spread the wax and cotton strips and pull them off.  The method I use is to spread the wax in the OPPOSITE direction of the hair growth, smooth the strips on in the OPPOSITE direction of hair growth as well.  To pull the strips off I would pull them in the SAME DIRECTION as the hair growth.  This worked perfectly, and apparently is part of the reason for less pain, less redness and less red bumps

Some other links that I found useful:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugaring_%28epilation%29

This is a video that seems to show the original way to do it, but I didn't have the slab of marble to cool it down ;) - and the metal kitchen bench didn't work for me :):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoS1uuddqcM&feature=related

Also here is another video tutorial with the recipe I used, good as you can see the colour it should be  etc...:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v-p8pW07iE


« Last Edit: June 03, 2013, 02:55:53 AM by Maddie »

GlobalStache

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #175 on: June 03, 2013, 06:00:15 AM »
Shaving: I find it interesting that so many lady staches are shaving often/at all.  Don't get me wrong, I realize there is some unwritten code that says we (in the US or globally?) are supposed to spend part of our lives and money shaving lots of areas of the body.  It was only after I had my son, when I didn't feel like I had the time or energy, that I started cutting out shaving my legs.  Laziness? Yes.  Time saved? Yes.  Money saved? Yes.  Sounds like a homerun to me!  My husband is German, so he never understood why I shaved all the time anyway (so apparently those efforts were wasted on him!).  Now I hardly ever shave and I don't feel any differently.  Okay, I don't want gawkers either...so if I am going to a wedding or something and I'm not wearing dark hose, then I will whip out the old razor and shave using basic body soap.  That means I may never have to buy a razor again (the one should last me a long time if I only use it once or twice a year??).  Ironically, I am in Germany now and my husband's family invited us to go swimming last week.  I wondered then whether it was my husband not caring about shaving or the entire culture (which I had thought in the past was so open).  I shaved just to be safe, dare I embarass his family.  Well, it turns out that all the young Germans are also shaving...nary a body hair in sight.  Makes me think though...shaving is not necessary and costs something, so isn't it anti-Mustachian to continue doing so??  I'm trying to start a movement here...please join in!!

EK

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #176 on: June 03, 2013, 06:54:32 AM »
Back on the topic of bras, if you're young:

Your bra might be making your boobs saggier.

There are some places I can't get away with going bra-less (I'm a nanny... I don't want any sideways looks from people thinking I look inappropriate with kids around....), but I go bra less when I can!  (Hah, I feel a little uncomfortable saying that in a public forum, but buying fewer bras would certainly save someone money...) If I had huge boobs I might be uncomfortable, but at my moderate size (34D) it's definitely more comfortable without!  If I'm going somewhere that I think will be cold though, I put one on to stay decent. ;)
« Last Edit: June 03, 2013, 06:57:17 AM by Evakatharina »

TrulyStashin

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #177 on: June 03, 2013, 07:42:03 AM »
Lady 'Staches. . . . . explore letting your hair go silver, naturally.

I'm 44 and colored my dark brown hair from age 28 until age 43 -- EVERY THREE WEEKS in order to fight the premature silver hair (thanks, Mom).   Because it was really hard to get the color even and avoid a reverse-skunk look, I had to get a salon-color every other time at a cost of about $80 (including tip).  So, every 6 weeks for 15 years, I was plunking down $80 rather than learn to love my silver.

Shortly after turning 43, I had a long business trip to South Africa and I seriously contemplated packing dye in my suitcase.  It was the image of me with my head in the hotel sink rinsing it out that made me realize I had to get off the crack.  My last color was Dec. 18, 2011.  The grow-out was really hard, I won't lie.  I spent about 9 months moaning about my hair to my best friends (saints, really).  I joined the Facebook groups "Grey and Proud" and "Going Grey, Looking Great."  It was shoulder length when I started and I chopped it really short in March 2012 (see the pic).   I started letting it grow out in June. 

Now, it is down to my ears and a beautiful platinum in the front with some near-black "pepper" through my crown.  My hair has more "dimension" than any color/ highlight/ lowlight scheme could ever create.  I get compliments on it constantly, which never happened with brown hair.  People remember me because I am often the only woman with silver hair (even when I'm in a crowd of OLDER women).

What's better?  In April 2012 (right after the pic was taken), I had a job interview with a huge law firm (yes, I'm a lawyer).  My hair was still dark at the tips and silver elsewhere.  I got the job.  My hair never held me back.  I'll post another picture later on showing my current length.  The key is to keep a great, modern, slightly edgy cut.   All the problems I had with dry hair, flaky scalp, dandruff etc are gone and my curls and soft and healthy.  THAT is sexy.

The moral to the story is do not assume that you have to cover your gray.  Maybe you do (not everyone grays evenly or nicely)  but maybe not.  And, it's not necessarily gray.  Mine is a mix of platinum, steel, and silver.   Take that, Clairol!

killingxspree

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #178 on: June 03, 2013, 08:40:21 AM »
Does anyone else immediately take their bra off when they get home? I do! I would go bra-less if I could.

First thing I do when I get home, most days! I also hate wearing shoes. It's so hard for bras to stay fitting right, so I usually only have ~2 that fit perfectly at any given time and then another 4 that are okay.
I hate wearing a bra soooo much! I just want to retire so I can walk around bra free all the time.

ChicagoGirl

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #179 on: June 03, 2013, 09:10:16 AM »
Lady 'Staches. . . . . explore letting your hair go silver, naturally.


That's awesome! Your hair looks great!  I have thought about doing this but I haven't gotten "there" mentally yet.  I do have a great barter system with my beautician since I am a massage therapist (we barter cut/color for a 1 hr massage).  But, I have often wondered what would I do if we stopped bartering, it's been so long since I have paid to have my hair done.  I am thinking going au natural if that happens, thanks for paving the way!

TrulyStashin

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #180 on: June 03, 2013, 10:02:24 AM »
Lady 'Staches. . . . . explore letting your hair go silver, naturally.


I have thought about doing this but I haven't gotten "there" mentally yet.  I do have a great barter system with my beautician

It took me two tries to get "there."  When I turned 42, I tried freeing myself from color (what a waste of time, too!) but after about 9 weeks of regrowth and looking ratty I landed a phenomenal opportunity to attend a United Nations meeting on climate change.  Of course, that started me coloring again -- my hair didn't have enough regrowth to chop but had too much to look good. 

It took me another year to work up the nerve.  Plus, my daughter was training to be a stylist and I had all the free cuts and color I wanted from 2009 to 2011.  When she moved too far away and I had my South African epiphany, I knew it was time to try again.

It's a very personal decision and wasn't an easy one for me.  I still have days when I wish my hair was dark, like when I was younger.  I just don't want it to the point of wasting hours of my life in a stylist's chair and shelling out all that money!  That time and money are better leveraged toward FI and my inner growth and peace with being beautiful and healthy at the age I am now.

As a side note, I've been single (divorced) since 2003, with only a short-term boyfriend or two to break a loooonnnng stretch of single-motherhood and law school.  When I decided to commit to going silver, one of my biggest concerns was whether men would find it attractive.  After all, it sure can be hard to meet a quality person and I didn't want to put another barrier in play!   

Almost universally, men LOVE my hair -- except the more shallow men who are looking for arm candy and I don't want their attention anyway so my hair is a great "tool filter."  It's eye catching and different, which they seem to read as "she's confident in herself."   I've gotten more attention than before - maybe I'm more approachable?  Hmmm.  Anyway, I'm now 5 months into a relationship with a wonderful man and he'd be very disappointed if I colored my hair.


TrulyStashin

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #181 on: June 03, 2013, 10:39:26 AM »
Shaving -- I used a LivingSocial coupon for laser hair removal (nose to toes, $500).  Worth every dime.  I hardly ever shave anymore -- just a few times a year.

BC & menstrual stuff -- I recently got my third Mirena IUD.  I got the first at 35. The second at 40 and just got the third one last month.  It's completely covered by insurance -- not even a copay.  It's been in use in Europe for decades and in the US for a little less time than that.  It emits trace amounts of hormones right to the uterine wall so many users get very light or no period.  I haven't bought tampons/ pads in ten years.  Woo hoo!

Oils & body butters -- I use coconut and/ or argan oil on my hair, face, and skin.  My naturally curly hair absolutely loves this -- every day.  Here's a great website for inexpensive products.  http://www.butters-n-bars.com/

Makeup -- Until recently I wore Clinique and a fair amount of it (foundation, blush, mascara, eye shadow, brow powder, eyeliner, lipstick -- wow, didn't realize how much until I typed that!).  Now that I'm biking to work this just doesn't seem to matter.  Today I have a little foundation on and the brow powder (love my dark brows in contrast to my silver hair).  This blog is changing my perception of what matters.

Bras -- the Maidenform outlet is great.  I recently got 4 bras for $32 (but them I'm a common size).  Nothing is matchy-matchy but really, who cares?







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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #182 on: June 03, 2013, 02:55:41 PM »
Lady 'Staches. . . . . explore letting your hair go silver, naturally.


Your hair looks fantastic! :-) My Mum dyed her hair for decades, from her mid 20s when she started going grey. It was a home dye job and our relatives used to tease her about having tartan hair. The grey bits would go a different shade than the hair that was still dark, and sometimes looked orange rather than brown!

I inherited the genes for going grey early and got my first grey hairs aged 24. I got my hair dyed from age 31 - 34 because I worked at a College which taught hairdressing (amongst other things) so got it done pretty cheaply and conveniently. Once I had started, I did find the upkeep annoying but it was hard to leave it to grow out again. I changed jobs and haven't dyed my hair in over a year. There are still some highlights at the ends, but it is mostly back to natural. My hair is going grey very unevenly, mostly around the front in blocks, underneath the top layer of hair. It looks like I have some silver highlights but it is rather uneven and a bit odd looking. I might post a picture if I get round to transferring then from my camera. It's also something that gives away my age (I look young for my age otherwise, sometime still getting asked for ID when purchasing alcohol). There was a woman I used to work beside who had a beautiful head of shiny white hair and a youthful face and complexion and she looked great! I'd have no qualms at all about my hair if it were like that.

Shandi76

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #183 on: June 03, 2013, 03:19:07 PM »
See photo of my greying hair.

TrulyStashin

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #184 on: June 03, 2013, 08:01:16 PM »
It wasn't until I explored letting my hair go grey that I realized how significant our hair is to our sense of self and beauty.  Ann Kreamer wrote a lovely book that I highly recommend. http://www.annekreamer.com/going-gray

The reality is that, especially for home dye jobs, it can be very hard to get a natural looking color.  As I shifted from dye to grey, I also suddenly realized that my dye job was a crutch.  It was an easy way to look young.  As I became more grey, I also became more determined to be active and naturally sexy the way only a person who is comfortable in her strong & healthy body can be.   In short, I stepped up my game once I didn't have dark hair to hide behind.

Here's a picture from last month -- me and my son at his promotion to ensign in NJROTC.  I plan on growing my curls into long layers, shoulder length. This pic shows all the various shades of salt and pepper in my natural hair.  I'm 44 and started going gray at 19.

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #185 on: June 03, 2013, 08:06:21 PM »
I'm gray and definitely happier that way. My students listen to me better, as do coworkers. Plus I don't have to mess around with it, which is my primary hair requirement. I keep it in a bob between chin and shoulder length because all i have to do is comb it after the shower. It's dry and looks good by the time I get to work.

mahina

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #186 on: June 04, 2013, 04:50:41 AM »
i haven't colored my hair, and it's gradually gone from light brown to silver. i get compliments all the time on my hair color. i think it makes a difference that i'm fairly fit, active, smiling, and have a bit of tan--nice contrast. i wear tinted lip balm, and i think the lip color helps, too. if i'm feeling 'grey' i can rub a bit of the tinted lip balm on my cheeks to brighten me up.

regarding bras, i buy mine online at hanes.com which has great sales on bali and other popular brands. identify your size in a certain brand and style, and you can get them cheap. i also hit ross and try on off-brands/styles for some real bargains. i am large busted and love removing my bra each evening, no matter the size/fit! such a relief!

occasionally i wear make-up which i buy at target or kmart. one eyeliner, one bb cream, one mascara, and the tinted lip balm for lips and cheeks and i'm fine for a few years. i do have some real lipstick my sister gave me for my birthday, which i use when i want the color to last longer without touch-ups.

staying healthy is the best thing we can do to enhance our beauty, so lots of fruits and veggies, water, walking, etc really make the difference in how i look and feel. i've noticed men take an interest in me when i've just been exercising--glowing i guess!

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Mustachian Manicures & Henna for hair
« Reply #187 on: June 04, 2013, 12:15:04 PM »


"I've started doing my own pedicures. This one I'm really not so sure about. I live in a warm climate and my feet are out every day and I need to look pulled together for work. I might alternate doing it myself with getting them done professionally."

I just wanted to share my experience in DIY nails! I was terrible at it my whole life (hippie parents, tomboy) and in grad school I started to try getting better. Now I do my fingernails about once a week and my toes every 2-3 weeks. I live in Austin, so it's sandal season all year round. The key to my success is Sally Hansen base coat and the InstaDri top coat that comes in the red bottle. They're maybe $5 each and last for months. I've tried tons of other ones and this topcoat actually dries fast enough that I don't mess up the nails and it makes the polish last a really long time--at least a week before I start getting chips. The base coat and top coat are total game changers and are better quality than what they use at salons--they NEVER use good top coats in my experience and the manis last less than a week. I'm a fan of Sally Hansen and Revlon polishes primarily (my grocery store often has coupons for them, but I see polish as a cheap treat once a month or so) but with the SH base and top coat I find even cheapo polishes like NYC Color and Wet n Wild last for ages.
I do nails as a self care activity, instead of thinking of it as a 'chore' or a beauty routine--I watch some TV or old episodes of 'Roseanne' on DVD and block everybody out for 2 hours til the nails are dry. 

I also color my hair with henna, which I buy from mehandi.com, that costs about $3/shot. It lasts for about 6 weeks before the roots start to show and doesn't fade or get messed up in pool water (Austin--pool weather all year round). My hair is naturally a kind of meh dark blonde/light brown so it takes the Henna color really well. People comment on it all the time and ask about it constantly. I do it at home and it's kind of a process but if you're interested in red hair, henna is the jam. If you want more deets on how I do it, let me know!

Moneysaver Michelle

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #188 on: June 06, 2013, 07:55:16 PM »
I am constantly tempted by pretty lady trappings (make up, clothes, perfume, do dads for my house) but in an attempt to take debt reduction and savings to the next level have been doing a few things that over time I think will help (and hopefully you too):

In the spirit of "spend nothing week or month", I am using up all the stuff I already have-it's going to take more than a month for sure!  Probably more like a year for some things.   I have lots of open bottles of lotion, shampoo, etc and more in the linen closet. Yes they were a good deal but not if I never use them and keep buying more. 

I have been trying to substitute rather than buy-I have been using a bit of baby oil in place of spray on furniture wax or cleaner like "Pledge" on  my wood furniture.  Corn starch mixed with bronzing powder for loose face powder, mixing baby oil with some cheaper lotions for more "oomph". 

I am trying to be realistic about my hair.  It doesn't do certain things--no matter what chemicals or appliances I use on it.  I keep it simple and long--up for work, and down on my time.  Every time I think someone can force it into my vision I end up having to grow it out for two years or more while I cut off the damaged portions!

Unearth the hidden gems-I have tons of nice clothes but they don't all get worn.  Some things get pushed to the back of the closet because they need ironing, a button replaced, or are hard to match.  The ONLY new (new to me from the thrift store) items of clothing I am buying are pieces which will match an existing but unmatched piece I already have.  That goes for shoes too.  If something is super pretty, I will iron it, but if it's just so-so-I get rid of it. 

Perfume breeds on my dresser at night.  I get it for Xmas, birthdays, etc.  I love it but there is only so much you can use!  If it's the cheapy stuff I wouldn't usually wear-I still use it as air freshener, to make sachets, or spritz lightly on the linens. 


Worsted Skeins

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #189 on: June 07, 2013, 05:10:59 AM »
There have been Mustachian discussions on when it is better to pay more upfront for the sake of quality or longevity.  As far as I am concerned, it is worth it to me to go to a bra shop and pay more for a proper fit.  I use to buy bras at Kohls.  I found brands and sizes that fit but the next time around the styles were no longer available or did not fit me properly anymore.  Going in and out of the dressing room with different brands of bras that all seem to fit differently requires more time than I want to commit.  At my bra shop, I tell the clerk what I want and she brings me a bra to try.  Some women might be uncomfortable having someone else in the dressing room to make adjustments to straps but it doesn't bother me.

I even bought a new swim suit at my bra shop.  They have tankinis with cup sizes so I have a proper fit.  If I were swimming primarily in chlorinated water, I would not make the investment in a pricey suit but I usually swim in salt water. 

Shoes are another thing that I would rather spend some money on upfront for the sake of longevity and comfort.  I have minimal arches and require more support than I usually find in cheap shoes.  For me, Chaco sandals are worth the money.  They wear well and can be tossed in the washer when stinky.  And you can send the sandals back to the company for sole replacement.

rockstache

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #190 on: June 07, 2013, 10:51:08 AM »
I love the grey haired lady pics that you have all posted! I too started going grey around 22 or so, but I have not dared to go natural yet. I did however, as a direct result of this board, find someone on craigslist to do my hair for free as a hair model, so I am scheduled for a cut and color next week. I am crossing my fingers that it works out....so nervous! I keep telling myself it's only hair and I am being vain...it can be fixed or it will grow out.

ESunday

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #191 on: June 07, 2013, 12:39:33 PM »
Hi Ladies,
I am 20 years old and I have very sensitive skin and shampoo and conditioners often make my head itch. About two years ago I heard that you could substitute baking soda and water for shampoo and watered down apple cider vinegar for conditioner. This has worked out wonderfully for me, my hair looks and feels great! Plus, I have started adding a drop of lavender or tea tree oil to the vinegar which is a great way to get a nice fresh smell :)

I was hoping to get some advice from you gals on a problem I have been having with one of my good friends. My friend is not at all mustachian and is not very open minded about it. Anyway, she often wants to go get manicures or go clothes shopping with me and is offended when I would prefer not to. I try to explain that I would love to do stuff with her that doesn't cost money but she tends to assume I am blowing her off. I am not at all good at conflict resolution and am not sure how to handle the situation.

Adventine

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #192 on: June 07, 2013, 07:29:24 PM »
Hi Ladies,
I am 20 years old and I have very sensitive skin and shampoo and conditioners often make my head itch. About two years ago I heard that you could substitute baking soda and water for shampoo and watered down apple cider vinegar for conditioner. This has worked out wonderfully for me, my hair looks and feels great! Plus, I have started adding a drop of lavender or tea tree oil to the vinegar which is a great way to get a nice fresh smell :)

I was hoping to get some advice from you gals on a problem I have been having with one of my good friends. My friend is not at all mustachian and is not very open minded about it. Anyway, she often wants to go get manicures or go clothes shopping with me and is offended when I would prefer not to. I try to explain that I would love to do stuff with her that doesn't cost money but she tends to assume I am blowing her off. I am not at all good at conflict resolution and am not sure how to handle the situation.


Maybe instead of saying "I prefer not to", try."Sorry, I don't have the budget for that this month. Maybe we can do _____ instead?"

People are usually more receptive to that kind of phrasing. And if your friend still gets offended and thinks you're really just using frugality as an excuse to blow her off, well... Time to find some new friends.

pachnik

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #193 on: June 28, 2013, 10:19:23 AM »
Hi Ladies,

I've really enjoyed reading through this thread.   

Here is my situation.   There's some good and some bad. 

Starting with the good:

Like a lot of people above me in the thread I think exercise/good diet are important.  I have sensitive skin and so use the skin care products that my doctor recommended which are cheap ones from the drugstore.  For make-up, I just use concealer. 

Clothes for home come from Value Village - an excellent thrift shop in Canada.  Office clothes sometimes come from there or if I need to I got to the mall, make a strategic strike and get the hell out as fast as I can. 

My close friends are non-spendy.  We go for walks, visit over tea or go for inexpensive lunches. 

Now the not-so-good:

I have my hair done (cut and colour) at a salon every 6 weeks for $100.00.  this is $75.00 per month for hair.   It comes in quite grey on the top of my head and I have it coloured a dark brown - my natural colour when I was younger.  (I am 49 now)

Right now I am between jobs - I have a 2-month contract position starting on Tuesday and after that unless I get a longer contract,  I will look for a permanent job.  This means interviews so I think I will keep with the program for now until my work situation is sorted out.   I've had some great suggestions in response to this dilemma from my journal post.  One of them was to do my own root touch ups and exchange hair cuts with a friend.  I do have a friend I could talk to about this when she's back from overseas.  Also, looking into hairdressing schools etc.

I think grey could look okay but it is the growing out phase would take some time. 

I am just a little frustrated with myself about this.

Anyway, this is where I am with this today.  Thanks. 


 





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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #194 on: June 28, 2013, 12:19:58 PM »
First suggestion, pachnik, color your hair yourself! If you are only going with one color, there are lots of options you can find in stores like Target. Not sure if Canada has something like this, but in the US you can often find cheaper hair care products at a beauty supply store. You might have to buy in bulk, but it could be worth it if the price is right.

madgeylou

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #195 on: June 28, 2013, 12:27:07 PM »
There's a great product from Bumble and Bumble called hair powder. It comes in different colors and you can use the tiniest bit to cover your roots. This can buy you an extra week or two between full-on touch ups. It is not an inexpensive product but you only use an eensy bit at a time, and it works quite well!

pachnik

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #196 on: June 28, 2013, 01:33:37 PM »
Hello Katie, Madgeylou and Frankie,

Thank you so much for the suggestions.  I think we'd have Bumble products in Sephora here.  I've done a crap job of colouring my own hair in the past and I think I would like to see how it looks in its natural shade.    That colour stripping sounds like a good idea. 

Anyway, I am listing my options and I'll see how the work situation turns out. 

This is so great on here - people offer help and support.  Thanks again   :)

oldtoyota

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #197 on: June 28, 2013, 07:54:55 PM »
Turns out you all were right about the band size! I was wearing a 36 and I really should be a 32! I got a fitting this weekend and came home with two extremely comfortable bras. The brands are Spanx and Natori. Now that I know which bras work for me, I'll be able to shop at Nordstrom's rack and get them for half the price in the future!

Did you go to Nordsrom's for the fitting? I live in the DC area and think a fitting might be what I need.

smalllife

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #198 on: June 28, 2013, 08:38:47 PM »
Turns out you all were right about the band size! I was wearing a 36 and I really should be a 32! I got a fitting this weekend and came home with two extremely comfortable bras. The brands are Spanx and Natori. Now that I know which bras work for me, I'll be able to shop at Nordstrom's rack and get them for half the price in the future!

Did you go to Nordsrom's for the fitting? I live in the DC area and think a fitting might be what I need.


Probably biased, but I got fitted at Nordstrom and they were wrong by two band sizes.  I'm a 28 F and they put me in a 32 DD/E because that's all they had in stock . . . .

You can measure yourself and know what your band size it, let the fitter help you with general fit.  Just don't depend on them to figure out exactly what you should be wearing.

onehappypanda

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Re: Lady staches?
« Reply #199 on: June 29, 2013, 02:19:02 PM »
I'm a bit late to the bra-talk party, but here's a great website if you're not a large-busted lady and have issues finding the right bra size:

http://www.evesappleslingerie.com/online-bra-consultation

You plug in your measurements and it'll tell you what your size ranges are. As a small-busted lady, I've found that the standard way of measuring bust size never landed me with the right-sized bra. It didn't help that my chest is set pretty wide. I actually do better with the method described in the above site where you measure each side of your chest separately. They also have a few bras that are labelled as being good for wide-set busts, one of which I've purchased and really like.

I tend to agree that a little time and effort put into finding the proper bra size and a good-quality bra is worth it. I avoid places like Victoria's Secret, because I think their bras are both expensive AND cheaply made. I like Kohl's bras but they lack the variety of sizes I need and there's no consistency in the styling- I'll still give them a try, but I really prefer to buy bras online from a store that lets you return for free if it doesn't fit. It may have a higher sticker price but seems to pay off in the long run- less chance of the bra not working out, and they tend to be higher quality and last longer. Just my .02 on the bra thing.