I'm following this thread with great interest. The similarities are eery. Let's see...mid- to late-20s couple, talking about engagement/marriage, I make 70, she is training for a teaching career (50? 55?), so would be 120 combined in the future, want to buy a house together, starting to save, but nowhere near 20%. I do have a healthy EF (checks balance...17,790) that would be used for home maintenance. I just started another savings account that I'm calling the Love Fund or RWHH (ring, wedding, honeymoon, house DP, maybe that order?) currently at 6,780. So total combined savings are at 24,570. She has a few small CDs and such but not counting those for now. Savings rate should start to go up now that SO is working (substitute teaching) again and we'll start splitting the bills again soon. We're even in Texas, but in Dallas. From our discussions of the house we want and the local market, I'd imagine the price would be 250-300. We are open to house hacking, renting the house later, duplex...have discussed each.
So the advice for 20% is sage. I knew that already, but reading here is helping to reaffirm it. I may even request that the SO read this thread in its entirety. Personally, I don't think it makes sense to buy a house until knowing where the SO will be working. It's hard to know how far out that will be. If she finds a job next school year, then maybe we will look when the apt lease ends a year from now? I imagine needing a lot saved for the ring and wedding anyway. We talk about a smaller and nontraditional (maybe destination? or at least Somewhere Else?) wedding. So we don't want to spend the $ that SO's best friend is on the huge traditional southern wedding, but if there is travel involved, then it wouldn't be cheap.
The ? I struggle with is if we're trying to save a lot to reach 20% in the next 1-2 years, then should I hit the brakes on all of the retirement $ I'm saving right now? I'm currently saving 1k/mo in my 401k (my work has 15% salary max, stupid). How do you prioritize tax-advantaged 401k $ and employer match vs trying to save 20% for a house DP? I mean...is it prudent or stupid to not save a dollar for retirement until AFTER reaching 20%? If I don't stop saving for retirement, it would take forever to reach 20%. Maybe not forever, but 5-10 years feels like a looooong time to wait. Things will become more clear when SO starts a normal teaching job. Also, we're happy in our apt (1k/mo) right now. I'm not sure how long we'd be happy with it regardless of how much we'd have saved, as life goes on and after marriage and thinking about kids.
Part PTF, part sympathizing with OP, and part asking for genuine advice. Don't want to hijack the thread, but sounds like others are in a similar situation as myself and could benefit.
Tl/dr: what would you tell a 20-something about prioritizing saving for a 20% house DP vs retirement savings?