Hi folks,
I'm in a bit of a conundrum. About 2 years ago I left a big city I hated to take what was basically my dream job back in my "hometown" (didn't grow up there but it's the closest place to a hometown I've ever had). Two of my friends had had this same exact position, and one of them had previously been my boss while in this position, and both described it as the "best job they ever had," although it was challenging and stressful. I have found this to be generally true as well.
The thing about this job is that it is not a forever job. While it is true that some of my counterparts have been doing it for 6 years, no one has ever done it for life (the record is 6 years I believe) because, again, it's extremely taxing on a person's time and energy. I don't really want to go into what the job is for privacy reasons, but it's nothing weird or illegal, and I don't think it's relevant to my question. Some have "graduated" from this job to higher positions in the organization, but even then, they usually leave the company within a few years.
Again, these are great jobs and the company is great to work for in so many ways. There is ample PTO, so much freedom and autonomy, and the work is inspiring and interesting, and it has expanded my skillset in so many ways, hard and soft skills included. The only noticeable negative on the surface is that it doesn't pay a whole heck of a lot -- about 40K/year with benefits with not much hope for a raise. But living frugally, this is more than enough for my lifestyle. The pay thing is more about feeling slightly "used," or that nothing I ever give is enough. I have a tremendous amount of responsibility and it never ends.
My question is this: Why the heck can't I be satisfied in this job, and should I leave now, after 2 years, or hang in there for a few more?
Sometimes I think I might just have a bit of a "grass is greener" complex. But then, my one friend who stayed here for 6 years seemed jaded and burnt-out towards the end. She was clearly unhappy and now seems to be permanently affected by it. She's more negative now, a tinge of regret, after 1 or 2 of her 6 years were "bad" years. (Hard to explain, but there's a rotating nature to the job and some years are better than others). It's the kind of job you become so invested in that when things don't go well, it's as if it *injures* you somehow. On the flip side, when things go well, it's incredibly rewarding.
The real negatives for me are these:
- I have almost no time to enjoy life outside of my job, although the job itself is mostly enjoyable
Certain aspects of the job are NOT enjoyable, namely my boss. He is a micromanager big time, which stresses me out.
The pay is pretty low for the hours I put in (roughly 50 hours per week) -- works out to like $14/hour sometimes
It's hurting my relationship with my DW.
The positives of staying longer are these:
- I might make connections I wouldn't otherwise make and/or resume points that I can use to get a better job later
I am on track to pay off my college loans COMPLETELY if I stay another year
I am worried that, if I do have a "grass is greener" thing going on, any job I find after this will be worse. As mentioned, most of the time the job is pretty great.
On top of all this, I have a strong desire to write fiction, which I already do (when I have time, which is minimal). I know I won't get a lot of sympathy on a personal finance site for that (ha), but my DW is super supportive of this and has even offered to support me while I do this for a while. I've written a couple of novels, nothing published, but I feel I have potential as a writer. She wants me to quit this job because she sees how stressed I can get and also doesn't see me that often. However, I'm terrified of not being able to find anything better, especially if I leave after only year 2, and I don't really want to be supported by the DW all the time. The great parts of the job just make me hesitate to quit, since I do not have an advanced degree, and I am definitely not going to find gainful employment writing fiction. (No, journalism or scientific writing is not the same -- in fact I've tried this and instead of supporting the art it rather "kills" it.) I'm at a loss to what I could do instead and still be challenged, interested, and decently paid.
Anyway, I have been at an impasse for roughly the past year and a half trying to figure out what to do -- as soon as I realized the extent of the commitment this job required. Sorry for the long post but I was curious for the Mustachian perspective, facepunches as well as a dash of compassion for repressed artist welcome.
Thanks all.
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