Author Topic: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick  (Read 12219 times)

oldtoyota

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Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« on: January 23, 2015, 08:45:45 AM »
Several months ago, I posted that my job was making me crazy and sick. I got a lot of great feedback. Thanks to anyone who replied to that thread.

I was physically sick from a non-work problem. Work stress and work load greatly increased during a time of layoffs and re-rog (with new job, new boss, and new role added into the mix). The non-work health problem involved medicine that--when I came off it--produced withdrawal that really made it hard for to perform at the level required.

Unfortunately, my formerly stellar work reputation has taken a hit due to my not knowing that the medicine withdrawal was causing me yet more health problems. This happened at the same time the place is in financial dire straits and the formerly kind and generally genial staff has devolved into a bickering group of people. I am tired of all the anger and yelling and think it does nothing for my overall health. I still love the organization, though, with all my heart because the work we do is so good.

So...what to do?

1. I could try to find another job within the organization and hope other departments are not as stressed, unhappy, angry.
2. I could resign. I know this is generally not advised. However, I think this would allow me to leverage current job contacts as well as contacts at vendors where I work. It could possibly help me find a job sooner, though I do not know that as a fact.
--If I do #2, what is an appropriate answer for why I left my job before having a new job? I feel like doing this is not considered acceptable, but I want to and it's how I want to spend my $$ right now.

Oddly, I have been accused of being unhappy by my boss. I think this is a story she tells herself as other people have said they like my happy attitude. (??) Even stranger, no one is happy (including my boss who complains all the time about the org, the people, the hours required to do the job, etc).

I am leaning hard toward #2 as I've worked hard to make the current position work, and I do not find it getting better.

Last year, I interviewed at other places. However, I was too ill and think that caused me to come off poorly in interviews and possibly make bad decisions about what roles to focus on. Once I realized what was happening with myself, I decided to focus on recapturing my health before job searching.

Now I have recovered enough to start job searching, and I have FU money.

What should I do to get ready to resign next week?

I am submitting receipt for medical/dependent care expenses.
I am applying for jobs.
I have already contacted by previous boss, who said he could be glad to give me a good reference.
I am thinking of who in my current employer would help me (I have helped others when they have chosen to leave or when they have been laid off, so maybe someone will help me??)
This weekend, I will review finances to make sure all is well. I am 90% sure it is.

Anything else?






Future Lazy

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2015, 09:22:26 AM »
--If I do #2, what is an appropriate answer for why I left my job before having a new job? I feel like doing this is not considered acceptable, but I want to and it's how I want to spend my $$ right now.

...

What should I do to get ready to resign next week?

Sounds like you've already decided what you want to do...

The appropriate answer is probably the (gentle) truth. Obviously you don't want to burn any bridges, but it's helpful for the company you're leaving to know the real reason why, so they can (and hopefully will) make the changes to have higher retention and happier workers in the future.

"Reason(s) for resignation include: Lack of workplace stability, lack of teamwork in the workplace, health related issues exacerbated by unnecessary workplace stressors."

IMO, find a new position before you give your 2 weeks. Try not to spend any FU money if you don't have to.

kaizen soze

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2015, 09:43:16 AM »
Any chance you could take some unpaid time off?  Even if you don't qualify for FMLA or state equivalent, your employer may just be willing to give it to you if you explain your situation.  If you're already willing to call it quits, it may not hurt to ask since you have nothing to lose.

totoro

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2015, 09:51:30 AM »
Well, big hug.  Sorry again you are having this amount of stress.

I don't know what is the right move for you.  Having savings gives you options, which is wonderful.

What about putting in a strong effort on the job search for a defined period of time?  If you don't find a job by the end date and the stress is the same you can quit, take a short break and refocus your job search using your current workplace contacts.  Definitely try to find someone in your current position who will provide a reference as the danger would be that this might count against you unfairly.

KS

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2015, 10:03:09 AM »

2. I could resign. I know this is generally not advised. However, I think this would allow me to leverage current job contacts as well as contacts at vendors where I work. It could possibly help me find a job sooner, though I do not know that as a fact.
--If I do #2, what is an appropriate answer for why I left my job before having a new job? I feel like doing this is not considered acceptable, but I want to and it's how I want to spend my $$ right now.


Thanks for the update! I had just thought of this thread the other day and wondered how things were going... sounds like #2 is your most likely choice, and I say go for it. Particularly if you have lots of good references and contacts to help with your job search, and the FU money to hold you over if it does turn out to take longer than you thought. I did that, and got surprisingly few questions about leaving without something lined up. (Although it turns out the company I left is getting a bit of a reputation in the industry, so everyone at the place I work now had already heard it was awful and were not surprised someone would want to get out of there.) Only one person asked at all, and it was more of a vague wondering how I had taken several months off working, followed by "don't you need money?" :)

I definitely found that having a little time to just focus on getting myself back together and exclusively applying for jobs also did help the quality of my applications. Going through the ones I sent out while still working at Terrible Place, I found some really bad typos and other errors in my resume/cover letters that I would NEVER have let slip if I hadn't been so frazzled. So if you decide to stick it out a little longer while starting to apply, just make sure you're only sending stuff out on days when you still have full capacity for triple checking everything!

Best of luck to you, however you decide to do things. Keep us posted please!

edit: just want to add, since a few people posted while I was writing this, totoro's suggestion also sounds like a good one! Give yourself a set amount of time to get your ducks in a row while still working, then re-evaluate pull the plug if need be, even if you may not have landed something just yet.

oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2015, 10:39:30 AM »
Thanks, guys!

I am not sure I mentioned this. My boss seems to have it in for me. Under my previous boss, I did all the right things and had rave reviews. Suddenly, I don't. The problems began when the new boss took over. She has a reputation--has stormed out of meetings, has fought with my coworkers, has made a coworker cry--and I am not sure I can work with her. She's none too pleasant to me either.

I know a lot of people have a similar situation with a boss. I am at a point in life that I feel done dealing with people like that as my manager.

Thanks for the ideas and things to consider! I will think about this some more. Meanwhile, I am getting resumes ready to send out the door. =-)






mm1970

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2015, 11:28:17 AM »
Thanks, guys!

I am not sure I mentioned this. My boss seems to have it in for me. Under my previous boss, I did all the right things and had rave reviews. Suddenly, I don't. The problems began when the new boss took over. She has a reputation--has stormed out of meetings, has fought with my coworkers, has made a coworker cry--and I am not sure I can work with her. She's none too pleasant to me either.

I know a lot of people have a similar situation with a boss. I am at a point in life that I feel done dealing with people like that as my manager.

Thanks for the ideas and things to consider! I will think about this some more. Meanwhile, I am getting resumes ready to send out the door. =-)
I can't remember what you do for a living?

Anyway, my workplace has become VERY toxic over the last couple of years.  Terribly so.  It's the overall organization PLUS a particular VP who took over and just made it worse.

Step 1, my manager, the director, got fed up and transferred to a different group with 3 people.  Leaving about 7-8 people working directly for the toxic VP.
Step 2, my very good coworker (54 years old, stellar senior engineer, female like me) just flat out said "I cannot work for this man".  So, after about a month, she gave notice and quit, without a job.  It took her about 5 months to get another job.  She's well known in this town for her abilities and work ethic.  I gave her a glowing reference.  And she described the toxic work environment (not sure how much of this she brought up in interviews??)
Step 3, I transferred to a group away from the toxic VP.

oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2015, 02:06:19 PM »
Thanks, guys!

I am not sure I mentioned this. My boss seems to have it in for me. Under my previous boss, I did all the right things and had rave reviews. Suddenly, I don't. The problems began when the new boss took over. She has a reputation--has stormed out of meetings, has fought with my coworkers, has made a coworker cry--and I am not sure I can work with her. She's none too pleasant to me either.

I know a lot of people have a similar situation with a boss. I am at a point in life that I feel done dealing with people like that as my manager.

Thanks for the ideas and things to consider! I will think about this some more. Meanwhile, I am getting resumes ready to send out the door. =-)
I can't remember what you do for a living?

Anyway, my workplace has become VERY toxic over the last couple of years.  Terribly so.  It's the overall organization PLUS a particular VP who took over and just made it worse.

Step 1, my manager, the director, got fed up and transferred to a different group with 3 people.  Leaving about 7-8 people working directly for the toxic VP.
Step 2, my very good coworker (54 years old, stellar senior engineer, female like me) just flat out said "I cannot work for this man".  So, after about a month, she gave notice and quit, without a job.  It took her about 5 months to get another job.  She's well known in this town for her abilities and work ethic.  I gave her a glowing reference.  And she described the toxic work environment (not sure how much of this she brought up in interviews??)
Step 3, I transferred to a group away from the toxic VP.

Interesting to see all the methods of escape. =-) I may also try getting into another division or group. That's another option.



oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2015, 11:31:15 AM »
I gave notice and the conversation went well. No one is ignorant as to the numerous challenges we all are facing. The good news is that my boss and I both recognized that we'd like each other a lot if not under all the crazy pressure. Maybe she will even be willing to give me a recommendation, which would really be nice and helpful.

In this experience, I have found that even work "friends" would turn on me in order to save themselves. As the financial situation becomes more dire and the pressure from sr executives increases, people are turning on each other. I find it very disappointing.

I truly hope I can find a place that was as good as this one was when I first started.

Onward.


KS

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2015, 03:11:25 PM »
I gave notice and the conversation went well...

...Onward.

Congratulations! Onward indeed... best of luck to you, I hope both the job hunt and the process of recovering from the stress are speedy and fruitful. (But don't rush yourself on the recovery, it can take a surprising amount of time to fully detox after spending a while in that kind of work environment!)

Gray Matter

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2015, 03:19:15 PM »
Wishing you the best of luck and I'm so glad you have FU money to do this!  I, too, have seen how much circumstances can impact culture and even change individual people from collaborative and supportive colleagues into competitors--the stress impacts everyone negatively.

Keep us informed!

oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2015, 06:54:42 PM »
I was fooling myself. Former boss is a big ol' bully. Took me a while to see it, but former and current colleagues alike immediately asked if she was the reason I was leaving. They hit the nail on the head!


innerscorecard

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2015, 03:05:44 AM »
I wonder if anyone has actually had success applying with Sam at Financial Samurai says about engineering your own layoff, rather than quitting, so that you get a severance.

Rural

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2015, 04:41:32 PM »
Congratulations!

oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2015, 12:36:10 PM »
I wonder if anyone has actually had success applying with Sam at Financial Samurai says about engineering your own layoff, rather than quitting, so that you get a severance.

I was not interested in this, because I did not want to have to sign anything limiting what I say in the future. =-)

lhamo

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2015, 12:48:45 PM »
Congratulations!  I was wondering what was going on, too.  Glad you felt able to make this step so that you can get back to a better place.  And good that you can see now that the boss is a bully.  When I quit my previous HSSJ, it was because of a bully boss as well, and that was pretty clear to everyone.  My current boss is great, but the job has become something that sucks big time.  Last day of being on my own before new Director starts next week, so we'll see what happens. 

When is your last day?

oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2015, 08:30:10 AM »
Congratulations!  I was wondering what was going on, too.  Glad you felt able to make this step so that you can get back to a better place.  And good that you can see now that the boss is a bully.  When I quit my previous HSSJ, it was because of a bully boss as well, and that was pretty clear to everyone.  My current boss is great, but the job has become something that sucks big time.  Last day of being on my own before new Director starts next week, so we'll see what happens. 

When is your last day?

Thanks! Last day is this month.

I have decided to start my own consulting business. I want to be a solopreneur and have some clients already lined up. Not bad for a week of working on this. I have not been this happy in a reallllly long time!!!!


lhamo

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2015, 02:52:22 PM »
WHOO HOO!!!! Good for you!  I'm sure you'll do incredibly well with your own business.

Now if I can just get up the courage to do the same....


chops

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2015, 04:29:05 PM »
Congrats!  Very glad you have FU$.  For the many folks that say saving heavily is "a waste of their time" since they "love their job, " and want to work until they die, it's situations like this - which happen all too frequently in Corp America - where the awesome value of FU$ is so VERY apparent.

Unfortunately, I have actually seen firsthand how workplace bullies and stress has impacted my coworkers' (and my own) health and relationships.  That shit is just not worth it when you've got a Plan FU.  Good for you pulling the trigger!!

Best of luck with consulting, let us know how it goes.  It will be a far better experience than staying where you were, no matter how it turns out - and I'm sure it will turn out great!

 - Chops

pachnik

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #19 on: February 02, 2015, 07:38:43 PM »
I am very pleased for you Old Toyota!  This is good news.  I just love FU money - I only wish there was another name for it.  :)

oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2015, 08:56:39 PM »
Congrats!  Very glad you have FU$.  For the many folks that say saving heavily is "a waste of their time" since they "love their job, " and want to work until they die, it's situations like this - which happen all too frequently in Corp America - where the awesome value of FU$ is so VERY apparent.

Unfortunately, I have actually seen firsthand how workplace bullies and stress has impacted my coworkers' (and my own) health and relationships.  That shit is just not worth it when you've got a Plan FU.  Good for you pulling the trigger!!

Best of luck with consulting, let us know how it goes.  It will be a far better experience than staying where you were, no matter how it turns out - and I'm sure it will turn out great!

 - Chops

Thank you! Life is too short to be sick. My colleagues are still working at 11 pm, and I am not!! =-)) So very happy.

Dicey

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #21 on: February 02, 2015, 11:45:43 PM »
Hey oldtoyota, congratulations on making a decision! Please, please, don't listen to anyone who tells you not to spend your FU money. That's what it's for, for Pete's sake. I'd recommend taking a long-ish getaway vacation, if at all possible, to help detox. Once your mind is clear, you will probably feel exponentially better physically and you will be flooded with lots of new ideas.
Not sure if you'd want to use it, but another approach to why you left is that there is a lot of financial stress within the company. Since you've allways wanted to try going solo, and you have the means, you've decided to pursue your dream, partly so your co-workers will hopefully not get laid off.
Thanks for the update!

oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2015, 07:17:40 AM »
Hey oldtoyota, congratulations on making a decision! Please, please, don't listen to anyone who tells you not to spend your FU money. That's what it's for, for Pete's sake. I'd recommend taking a long-ish getaway vacation, if at all possible, to help detox. Once your mind is clear, you will probably feel exponentially better physically and you will be flooded with lots of new ideas.
Not sure if you'd want to use it, but another approach to why you left is that there is a lot of financial stress within the company. Since you've allways wanted to try going solo, and you have the means, you've decided to pursue your dream, partly so your co-workers will hopefully not get laid off.
Thanks for the update!

Thanks! Husband expressed nervousness today. Originally, my plan was to look for a J.O.B. and I have (and have had an interview already). However, I received some consulting possibilities and should know more next week regarding details. I also spoke with several people who launched their own solopreneur business and have done well. I did okay the last time I launched my business. What got in the way was fear (and taking a JOB) and not charging enough and going after clients that were too small. I basically sabotaged my own success the last time I had a business.

Anyway, I need to have a conversation with husband. He really seems to think my sitting in a cubicle (with one stream of income and numerous layoffs around me) is more "secure" than working for myself (where I'd have several streams of income instead of just one).

He brought this topic up moments before he needed to leave the house, so I suggested we talk more about it tonight when we have time.

Because he is not close to the finances (I manage all of it), he probably does not understand we have enough to carry us for quite some time.


oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #23 on: February 05, 2015, 07:13:49 PM »
Job hunt or business creation--not sure which yet--is going well.

My decision to leave was a good one!

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/oldtoyota%27s-journal-to-financial-freedom/50/

oldtoyota

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #24 on: June 16, 2015, 02:39:58 PM »
Hey all!

Want to update this thread. It's been quite a long time! I left the old job and took several wonderful months off. I applied to fewer than a dozen places and got an amazing new job. I LOVE it. So, it goes to show you that things can really work out even if you do something "dumb" like leave your job before you have another job. =-))

ETA: to fix a typo
« Last Edit: June 17, 2015, 09:47:09 AM by oldtoyota »

Eric

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #25 on: June 16, 2015, 02:50:06 PM »
Good news OT!  Congrats!

Cookie78

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #26 on: June 16, 2015, 02:55:54 PM »
Wonderful news. :)

lhamo

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #27 on: June 16, 2015, 03:06:42 PM »
YAY!!!!

I had been wondering what happened.  Glad things turned out so well for you.

KS

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #28 on: June 16, 2015, 03:22:46 PM »
Hooray!! So glad you took the leap of faith and landed so gracefully! :)

Rural

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #29 on: June 16, 2015, 10:22:19 PM »
Fabulous news, OT. Congrats

chops

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #30 on: June 17, 2015, 12:50:57 PM »
Excellent news!  Congrats for being able to pull the trigger and take that step into the unknown.

 - Chops

Dicey

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Re: Job Making Me Crazy and Sick
« Reply #31 on: June 17, 2015, 02:06:00 PM »
Hooray! Thanks for the update.