Author Topic: Jealousy - does it happen to you?  (Read 28273 times)

bikebum

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #50 on: March 24, 2014, 09:22:41 PM »
Actually, @FuckRx mentioned something that I do feel envious of a lot: eloquence.  More specifically, a ready command of language.  Some people I work with simply have the talking knack, they can talk/BS their way through anything and they can give great presentations.

I was gonna say no, but then I read this and agree.

I rarely get jealous because the people around me usually don't have anything that I want. I bet I'd get jealous more often if I got to hang out with some people from this forum.

Cheddar Stacker

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #51 on: March 24, 2014, 09:34:10 PM »
I struggle with envy occasionally, but much less since finding this site. This time of year is worse than others for me since I prepare a lot of tax returns. When I'm doing one for someone my age with $200K in wages, $25K in dividends, $50K in capital gains, $100K in K-1 income, etc. it's hard not to wonder how quickly I could reach FI in their shoes.

But then I remember LIFE IS AWESOME and every other thing I've learned here and I realize how lucky I am. I'd rather have my perspective than their salary/car/vacation/whatever.

dragoncar

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #52 on: March 24, 2014, 09:55:32 PM »
Not over stuff, but definitely housing.  This might be my FIRE Achilles heel and I may end up working an extra 5-10 years to get something way unmustachian (moderate size in expensive area -- typical 2br in SF is pushing a million, plus you have to consider the additional taxes).

edit: I'm guessing I'm going to request a facepunching on this topic within a few months

I am envious of people...

FINALLY someone who understands the difference between jealousy and envy!  To me a big part of jealousy is that you want to have something instead of that other person having it - think e.g. jealous spouses.  Envy just means that you'd like one of them too.  So when I see for instance a Tesla Roadster, I don't want to rip the keys out of the owner's hand, I just wistfully think about buying one of my own.  (But aside from the money, I could never fit both dogs in one :-()

About the only thing I really envy is people who have a lot of land (and I say that knowing that by many people's standards I already have a lot.)  For the rest, well, if I really wanted it that much, I could buy it.

woah... mind blown.  Don't know why I never paid attention to this, as I'm typically a stickler for language (e.g. inherent vs. intrinsic... discuss)
« Last Edit: March 24, 2014, 10:39:05 PM by dragoncar »

lifejoy

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #53 on: March 24, 2014, 10:28:15 PM »
This thread is helping me be less jealous :)

Too often I fall into the Facebook trap: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

Cwadda

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #54 on: March 24, 2014, 10:34:46 PM »
The less I have, the more content with what I already have. It's like a positive feedback cycle. The more I see the consumerist world unfold around me, the less I desire.

yyc-phil

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #55 on: March 24, 2014, 10:42:13 PM »
No jealousy. But sometimes anger when I see obscene lifestyles side by side with poverty and homelessness in our supposedly just and equal society.

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #56 on: March 24, 2014, 10:48:53 PM »
I'm only jealous of 20-year-old mustachians getting an early start. If I only knew.

This is true for me.  I used to have that large beautiful home until my husband lost his job.  Now I am much happier with my smaller, reasonable home that will be paid for in 5 years.  If this blog was around 20 years ago, I'd be ER 5 years ago.  I also oooh and aaah when a friend or co-worker shows me their new conquest.  However, in my mind, I just think of how much they are going to have to pay for that thing over the long run.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #57 on: March 25, 2014, 12:18:19 AM »
This thread is helping me be less jealous :)

Too often I fall into the Facebook trap: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

That's part of why I deleted facebook... I felt like if I kept reading other people's posts, I'd end up suffering from depression.

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #58 on: March 25, 2014, 01:07:41 PM »
I used to be jealous on a regular basis.  I grew up in a very affluent community where everyone seemed rich.  In retrospect "seemed" may have been an operative word for a lot of them.  But at the time it really made me depressed.  But after reading MMM and ERE, my perspective has changed.  Yeah, I suppose I can still be jealous billionaires, but most other people living large arouse pity and embarrassment.  Unless their Mustachians in which case I might mistake them for being poorer than me.

dude

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #59 on: March 25, 2014, 01:09:50 PM »
I'm only jealous of the people who figured this FIRE shit out decades before I did!!!  Damn, if I could go back in time . . .

Cassie

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #60 on: March 25, 2014, 05:54:02 PM »
Occasionally of some of the people here that have saved way more $ then us.  Also we downsized our home and while it is very nice it is older. sometimes when someone buys a new home & I get the tour it brings a bit of envy but that quickly passes when I think about having a mortgage, etc. I think it is human nature to have some envy. However, some of my younger friends are envious of us because we were able to semi-retire earlier then many people & they are still working f.t. It is human nature to want what you do not have:))

2527

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #61 on: March 25, 2014, 06:28:03 PM »
Here is something I'm jealous of:

Everybody has something they are good at.  I happen to be good at saving money and investing it and managing it.  I am really good at it, which is to say, more or less the same as everybody else on this website.  But I can't talk about it.  I could, however, take some of it and use it to buy impressive things.  Then I could talk about them:  my car, my vacation, etc.  But I can't talk about the process of investing, the decisions, and certainly not about the numbers.

Other people can talk about the things they are good at:  art, a musical instrument, cooking, etc.

Maybe I need to take up a hobby I can talk about. 

ShortInSeattle

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #62 on: March 25, 2014, 07:02:13 PM »
Oddly enough I don't really feel envy. Certainly never about "stuff." I mean, if I wanted a Ferrari I could technically buy one. It would trash decades of retirement savings and be totally dumb, but it's not impossible. Most of us will reach FI with a Ferrari or two worth of savings.  Fancy shoes are the same on a smaller scale.I could buy fancy shoes bit I'd rather retire early, so I get my shoes at Ross and feel good about my choice. I do sometimes admire said fancy footwear in the window. :)

I think envy disappears when you stop wanting flashy stuff, or when you realize you could be flashy, you're just choosing not to.

I do sometimes envy someone's skills or situation, but I try to turn it onto admiration, or even better, action.  "It's awesome that you and your hubby run a successful business... how did you get there?" "So how did you land your high paying job?"

I interview the heck out of those successful f-ers and copy them, in other words. :)



tmac

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #63 on: March 26, 2014, 06:55:58 AM »
I'm usually very content with what I have, but I'm currently experiencing a raging desire for:

1) An electric-assist cargo bike.

2) A year or two in Norway to study animals.


Thanks a lot, forum, for disrupting my normally Zen outlook. ;)

sleepyguy

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #64 on: March 26, 2014, 07:00:08 AM »
Nope, lifes good :)

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #65 on: March 26, 2014, 07:17:07 AM »
No.

Actually, @FuckRx mentioned something that I do feel envious of a lot: eloquence.  More specifically, a ready command of language.  Some people I work with simply have the talking knack, they can talk/BS their way through anything and they can give great presentations.

I was gonna say no, but then I read this and agree.

I rarely get jealous because the people around me usually don't have anything that I want. I bet I'd get jealous more often if I got to hang out with some people from this forum.

If I notice something like that (as there are frequently people who are better at things than I am), my reaction is never envy.

I might briefly think "I wish I was more X" or "I wish I was better at Y" but I don't feel any envy, and if I decide it's important to me, I'll work to acquire it.

I think one reason why I don't feel it is that I know I could have it if I wanted it.

Social skills, for example.  I'm not the most outgoing person.  Sometimes I'll note someone who is, and think "that's neat" - and then at times I work on my skills in those areas.  But I don't feel envious of those people, because if I wanted to be more social, I could.

I think one is envious of things they know they can't have (for whatever reason). Since I know I can have / do anything, I have nothing to be envious of.  If I want it, it just means is that I have to put in the work.

(I avoided this thread for a few days, thinking it might be too complainy-pants for me, glad that wasn't the case. It's awesome how many people here said no, I'm pretty impressed.  If we're all being honest, I'd think we're doing much better than the general population in that regard, though I have no data to support that hunch.)
« Last Edit: March 26, 2014, 07:18:53 AM by arebelspy »
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Exflyboy

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #66 on: March 26, 2014, 02:26:26 PM »
I sometimes feel jealous of people with perfectly healthy bodies. Also, I can get a bit jealous of other people's travels. A purse or fancy apartment mean nothing to me, but facebook photos from all over the world travels of my peers can sometimes sting. I just remind myself that I will get there. And with the body thing, I remind myself that I'm lucky to be here at all.

I was watching the Frontline documentary about drug resistant TB in Somalia last night.. A lot of those folks won't be around very long.. They are lucky to get drugs at all and the ones they do get are just awful with the side effects.. the drugs kill as often as the TB does...:(

A few of those folks were asking "why me".

And yet I still envy a Dodge Charger.. even after I sold my 200mph airplane... Like talk about "First World" problems!

Frank

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #67 on: March 26, 2014, 04:33:19 PM »
For material things rarely and not for long. I have plenty of stuff myself. More often for people who are more outgoing than me and make friends easily. Never been very good at it and probably never will be...

travelbug

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #68 on: March 26, 2014, 04:36:19 PM »
Yep, sort of.

Rather than being jealous of people, it's about stuff.

I still covet expensive superfluous stuff, but I very rarely purchase any of it and let people know for birthdays and Christmas etc. so they can direct their love and money towards my desires.

I honestly covet ER more. We are FI and it has been a hard decade-long slog, so I am reluctant to fritter the savings away even though we can well afford it.

Cool thread.

frugalamber

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #69 on: March 26, 2014, 04:49:03 PM »
This happened to me recently.

I love watching/measuring/comparing houses. One of our close relatives & friends bought new houses. Bigger than us - see where it is going. I got jealous; knowing fully well i love my current house; going forward i will only go smaller. But the Envy felt for a few hours was there.

Hubs later helped me calculate how more they will pay for the privilege of the bigger house; i know there is a reason why i love my planner guy.

lifejoy

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #70 on: March 26, 2014, 05:56:39 PM »
No.

Actually, @FuckRx mentioned something that I do feel envious of a lot: eloquence.  More specifically, a ready command of language.  Some people I work with simply have the talking knack, they can talk/BS their way through anything and they can give great presentations.

I was gonna say no, but then I read this and agree.

I rarely get jealous because the people around me usually don't have anything that I want. I bet I'd get jealous more often if I got to hang out with some people from this forum.

If I notice something like that (as there are frequently people who are better at things than I am), my reaction is never envy.

I might briefly think "I wish I was more X" or "I wish I was better at Y" but I don't feel any envy, and if I decide it's important to me, I'll work to acquire it.

I think one reason why I don't feel it is that I know I could have it if I wanted it.

Social skills, for example.  I'm not the most outgoing person.  Sometimes I'll note someone who is, and think "that's neat" - and then at times I work on my skills in those areas.  But I don't feel envious of those people, because if I wanted to be more social, I could.

I think one is envious of things they know they can't have (for whatever reason). Since I know I can have / do anything, I have nothing to be envious of.  If I want it, it just means is that I have to put in the work.

(I avoided this thread for a few days, thinking it might be too complainy-pants for me, glad that wasn't the case. It's awesome how many people here said no, I'm pretty impressed.  If we're all being honest, I'd think we're doing much better than the general population in that regard, though I have no data to support that hunch.)

This thread didn't disappoint me, either! Pretty interesting and thought-provoking responses. I especially like your perspective: if I can have / do anything, what is there to be envious of? GOOD POINT.

I sometimes try to channel the persona of a zen buddhist monk... want/need nothin'! But that only gets me so far.

bikebum

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #71 on: March 26, 2014, 06:45:47 PM »
I am envious of people...

FINALLY someone who understands the difference between jealousy and envy!  To me a big part of jealousy is that you want to have something instead of that other person having it - think e.g. jealous spouses.  Envy just means that you'd like one of them too.  So when I see for instance a Tesla Roadster, I don't want to rip the keys out of the owner's hand, I just wistfully think about buying one of my own.  (But aside from the money, I could never fit both dogs in one :-()

About the only thing I really envy is people who have a lot of land (and I say that knowing that by many people's standards I already have a lot.)  For the rest, well, if I really wanted it that much, I could buy it.

woah... mind blown.  Don't know why I never paid attention to this, as I'm typically a stickler for language (e.g. inherent vs. intrinsic... discuss)

Me too, I didn't know there is a difference.

kaetana

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #72 on: March 27, 2014, 01:16:23 AM »
I'm envious of people who travel a lot and manage to still be saving for ER/live within their budget if they've already retired. I really wish I had done more travelling when I was younger. I'm only 28, but I feel like it's so much harder to pack up and leave now that I have a husband, a mortgage, and a stable job. I tell myself I'll travel more when we've retired, but it seems SO far away!

innerscorecard

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #73 on: March 27, 2014, 01:20:02 AM »
I used to be jealous all the time. I was in prestigious schools and preparing for a career in a very prestige-driven field (not coincidentally one of the most miserable fields). I compared myself to others, because I was trained to do so. And I was miserable.

I am just recovering from that right now. I find Warren Buffett's concept of the inner scorecard crucial to my new life and identity.

scrubbyfish

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #74 on: March 27, 2014, 05:06:41 AM »
Love this thread!

And yep for me.

My life is largely awesome, and I feel very happy much of the time, but I do feel very real envy/pain over:

-a detached home
-a home with a full and established garden
-beauty that comes via clothes, esthetic treatments

plus non-material things such as:

-artistic ability, including an awesome singing voice
-ability to work one of those "power jobs" that pay lots
-extroversion/strong constitution/physical and mental ability to socialize/party/travel lots
-practical skills like renovating
-physical strength, or the self-discipline to achieve that
-marriage (but only good ones, hee)

Ha! What a long list! And I've probably only scratched the surface.

I don't go around feeling like crap, but these are all things that genuinely trigger a sad and soft -or sharp and pokey- feeling of envy in me.

Honestly, I often feel the only real "strengths" I have are self-reflection, finding creative solutions, and advocating hard for folks (adults and children) that need help. I value these deeply, but they don't translate into the big bucks or the detached home I dream of!

I have long had a theory that envy gives us a clue not only to what we want, but also to what we have capacity for. I'm not sure I believe that any more, but I still like the positive nature of this thought.

I liked pondering this. Thanks, libraryjoy, for the topic, and to everyone who has posted!

GalTexas

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #75 on: March 27, 2014, 08:25:27 AM »
I'm jealous of the dr profiled in 'millionaire next door'. The one who parks his 20 yr old VW in his driveway and his neighbors are annoyed.

I'm jealous because that is where I want to be - but it takes a lot of work and motivation to get there. 

We went to a kid's birthday party a few months back and people were oohing and ahhing over some lamborghini or ferrari someone drove to the party.  I asked, 'if he drove that, what did his wife and kids come in?'.   So he owns a nice car, but sounds like a crap father/husband. 

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #76 on: March 27, 2014, 09:16:36 AM »
I am envious of people...

FINALLY someone who understands the difference between jealousy and envy!  To me a big part of jealousy is that you want to have something instead of that other person having it - think e.g. jealous spouses.  Envy just means that you'd like one of them too.  So when I see for instance a Tesla Roadster, I don't want to rip the keys out of the owner's hand, I just wistfully think about buying one of my own.  (But aside from the money, I could never fit both dogs in one :-()

About the only thing I really envy is people who have a lot of land (and I say that knowing that by many people's standards I already have a lot.)  For the rest, well, if I really wanted it that much, I could buy it.

Weird, I've always had it explained (in religious context growing up) the opposite way. Jealousy was possessive, e.g "our god is a jealous god" but envy was destructive.

Jealousy is when you are afraid someone else will take what you already have.  Envy is when you want what other people have.  They're very different.

rocksinmyhead

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #77 on: March 27, 2014, 09:30:50 AM »
The deeper people are in debt, the more they seem to crave material possessions.  Once I got to the point where all the debts were gone and there was a pile of money in the bank, the cravings went away.

Now I'm jealous of you. :)

Lol! Me too! Wait, I mean, inspired! Haha ;)

me too!! I look forward to being there someday :)

this is such an interesting thread. I definitely frequently feel jealous of people's cool vacations or that they are already buying their first house. for me, the feeling always passes quickly because I remember 1) we are doing REALLY well, I make a great salary and I am proud of how responsible I'm being with it and that I know what my financial priorities are (basically I think "they probably can't even really afford that anyway," which may be mean, but whatever) and 2) I am SO happy with the non-material things in my life, specifically my boyfriend and my dog. (also my family, but thinking about that just makes me jealous of people who live near their families because I wish I lived near mine and I can't right now. haha.)

I am also sort of jealous of people whose families paid for college, because that would have given me a real leg up on FI, but I can let that feeling go too because like I said I wouldn't trade my family for anything :)

lifejoy

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #78 on: March 27, 2014, 11:29:58 AM »
I am envious of people...

FINALLY someone who understands the difference between jealousy and envy!  To me a big part of jealousy is that you want to have something instead of that other person having it - think e.g. jealous spouses.  Envy just means that you'd like one of them too.  So when I see for instance a Tesla Roadster, I don't want to rip the keys out of the owner's hand, I just wistfully think about buying one of my own.  (But aside from the money, I could never fit both dogs in one :-()

About the only thing I really envy is people who have a lot of land (and I say that knowing that by many people's standards I already have a lot.)  For the rest, well, if I really wanted it that much, I could buy it.

Weird, I've always had it explained (in religious context growing up) the opposite way. Jealousy was possessive, e.g "our god is a jealous god" but envy was destructive.

Jealousy is when you are afraid someone else will take what you already have.  Envy is when you want what other people have.  They're very different.

I should totally rename this thread, "Envy - does it happen to you?" heh ;) Thanks for the nice and simple clarification!

socaso

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #79 on: March 27, 2014, 12:51:01 PM »
I feel envious of the people on this thread who live in less expensive areas. I hate the cost of living in my city. I'd love to move but it's not just my choice since I have a family. When I look at our situation compared to others in our area I think we are doing well because we have savings and no debt and I don't know anyone else in our situation but I hate not owning a home at my age.

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #80 on: March 27, 2014, 01:46:28 PM »
Jealousy is a trait of insecurity. Usually a person that is Jealous of their partner is not showing how much they love them but how insecure they are. I have always felt that as the true sense of the word. So for me no. There are things sure I would like to have BUT i am more thankful for what i do have. And i could have most of the things I dont have within reason. I think mostly its perception. Happiness is a choice so chose to be happy with what you do have and dont be jealous of what you dont have!

luigi49

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #81 on: March 27, 2014, 01:58:39 PM »
I stopped being jealous at 18y of age. 

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #82 on: March 27, 2014, 02:18:54 PM »
I'm occasionally envious of those who buy houses and get dogs. I really want to own a house and have a dog. But then I remember that buying doesn't make sense for us right now, and that dogs are fun but require work and money (and I visit my parents' dog regularly, she's my little buddy, and if I had my own dog, I might see her less, which makes me sad).

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #83 on: June 05, 2014, 07:03:34 AM »
The less I have, the more content with what I already have. It's like a positive feedback cycle. The more I see the consumerist world unfold around me, the less I desire.

Ah, wow, I'm going to print this out and post it on my mirror.  What a great motto!

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #84 on: June 05, 2014, 07:38:13 AM »
i get jealous and envious. 
i get jealous bc sometimes i'm not a nice person and it makes me mad when certain people in my life get these like really super awesome breaks and i feel like i never do and i work hard and good shit should happen to me dammit.  but then i get over it bc being that mad takes a lot of energy and i'm too lazy to waste energy like that.

and i get envious of peoples boats.  i want one.  i could prolly go buy one cash if i really really wanted to.  but mostly i'm envious of the riding on the water part, not so much when i think of upkeep and boat fees.  i should look into a boat share or something. 

shotgunwilly

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #85 on: June 05, 2014, 08:00:15 AM »
I struggle with being jealous.  It's something I've had problems with in everything.

Whenever my friend gets a brand new boat, or a badass truck I catch myself wishing I had those things.  But I also think about the debt they take on or the amount they spent and how much further back it puts their retirement and I can control the feelings.

Something I REALLY struggle with is being jealous of the financial success of my peers.  I have a good friend that has been EXTREMELY lucky to have the high paying job he has and all the stuff he has. (the one who is in debt with the truck and boat).  I also have a friend who was frugal as hell, worked his butt off for a home builder, then started his own small company and grew it to something great in one year.  I find myself jealous that he is in the position that he is.

oldladystache

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #86 on: June 05, 2014, 08:09:18 AM »
A few months ago i met a guy with a Tesla. OOOOoooo Pretty. So shiny and beautiful. For a moment I wanted one too.

Then I remembered the way I treat my '06 Pontiac Vibe. It lives in the driveway, gets cleaned only when the rain cleans it (rare in southern California) and I don't worry about scrapes and bumps. If I had a Tesla I'd worry about keeping it perfect, or more likely I wouldn't take proper care of it and I'd feel bad about it. So I realized I actually don't want one.

homeymomma

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #87 on: June 05, 2014, 08:25:37 AM »
I get super envious at different things at different times in my life... It's always tied to a feeling of insecurity. I am envious of the big things - houses. We live (with family, for free) in an incredibly high income area, actually I think it was measured to have the highest per capita income of anywhere in the country in the last couple years. McMansions don't even cut it here, it's like, Saudi prince palaces and stuff. Totally ridiculous. But then we pass a sweet little bungalow or rancher from the 1940s and I'm like, surely, something like that is in reach! But alas, they are still 1 million+. Then I go down the (very dangerous road) of "oh if only we'd put off kids or if I leave them and go to work" we could maybe, someday, after busting our butts, own a home. But even then it seems unattainable, not least of all because that's not truly what we want from life, at all.

This is not to mention the occasional pangs I get when I watch the endless string of Lexus SUVs parked around here. Saw a Maserati the other day. In this area, that's NBD. It's one thing to say, haha, you have a 400/mo car payment and we don't, it's another to think, wow, we literally couldn't afford to make those payments, even if we wanted to.

I know my reaction should be, oh those people probably have tons of debt and will have to work forever. But honestly, I just don't believe that. The incomes around here are so high, these people probably max out their 401Ks without even noticing it. So, yeah, envy is rampant.

My imagined solution is to move to a lower COL area and get away from the super high earners, so hopefully that will happen someday. If only my husband was less of a diligent worker and more of a go-getter (ah, another thing I'm envious of) lol.

hexdexorex

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #88 on: June 05, 2014, 08:39:56 AM »
Nah cus I know the guilty feeling ill have after buying the item. I test drove a tesla a few months ago...and as soon as I got on the highway I was stuck in a traffic jam. Yeah it might be better to be stuck in a jam in a 6 figure car rather than my 4 figure car but for 6 figures if it doesnt fly over the traffic...is it really worth that much? :)

MidwestGal

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #89 on: June 05, 2014, 08:45:16 AM »
I don't generally do social networking sites, so that keeps any envy/jealousy to a minimum.  I'm not by nature very envious in the first place, but it probably would be harder looking at other folks' best photos of (fill in the blank) all the time.

It does help to have been in much worse financial situations than I am currently in though!

Wildflame

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #90 on: June 05, 2014, 10:27:12 AM »
I envy people who know what they want out of life and work towards it.

Sometimes I think I know what I want, but when I do I don't seem to put any effort in to getting it.

Sometimes I can work hard, but when I do I don't know what I want, so I dissipate that capability to exert myself into doing necessary but minor things around the house.

In the meantime, I save. At least when I do manage to get both purpose and drive simultaneously, I'll be financially ready too.

Strangely, since getting a decent emergency fund, I find myself like arebelspy with regard to actual stuff - physical objects no longer draw me as they used to, because I could buy pretty much anything I could possibly want with cash. And I end up realising I didn't really want that thing, I wanted the emotional thrill of being the kind of person who could own such a thing. But since I could buy it, I was that person already. Hmm...

Bakari

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #91 on: June 05, 2014, 10:40:50 AM »
Whenever I think about my special friend's other lovers, I feel a sharp twinge of what I assume should be called jealousy.

Which is totally unreasonable, given I have a couple other's myself.  She has expressed similar sentiment (in the form of me talking about recent experiences, and her saying "I don't want to know")

Everyone is safe and everything is open and honest, no one thinks there's anything wrong in principal, but we still feel this way.  Maybe its deeply ingrained culture, but I believe at least part of it is natural and automatic, part of being human.

apfroggy0408

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #92 on: June 05, 2014, 10:54:01 AM »
My brother just financed a brand new 2014 Camaro SS 1LE, basically a ZR1 camaro minus the supercharger.

It's an awesome piece of machinery but I'm definitely not jealous of the price tag!!

Megatron

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #93 on: June 05, 2014, 01:21:49 PM »
I'm read the bogelheads forum and I'm constantly jealous when people, i.e. doctors post their networth when laying out their asset allocations.
I look at it and think "dayaam, I could've been retired 10 times over by now, why are they still working"

ambimammular

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #94 on: June 05, 2014, 01:46:01 PM »
I get jealous of the people with no debt.  If we weren't still making house payments we could be living at MMM's expense levels.  And that mortgage payment redirected would push us to ER in a hurry. 




Chuck

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #95 on: June 05, 2014, 02:06:08 PM »
All the time I'm envious: Envious of people's nicer cars, nicer clothes, bigger homes, newer computers...

Sometimes I even find myself at the mall or dealerships. But it always passes. My 'stache is growing, I live better than 90-95% of the people on this Earth, and I want for nothing I enjoy.

CestMoi

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #96 on: June 06, 2014, 11:33:12 AM »
I definitely envy those who start the MMM lifestyle very early. I would have, too, had I known then, and I'd be past retirement by now. I've always been good with my money, but it's only the past number of years I've been very focused on it.

If I ever feel frustrated about not being retired yet, I remember that I'm in a creative field (no pensions, relatively low salaries for this area), live in one of the most expensive areas of the country, and did it on my own. That was always my financial goal, to be financially self-directed, and I've accomplished it. That feels so great.

Oscar_C

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #97 on: June 06, 2014, 08:00:12 PM »
I am jealous of the fact that all people here greatly exceeds my own Then again I'm 23, so I'm still starting, but even people younger than me tend to have better incomes.

In the end, while I know that jealousy can give me motivation, I do dislike being poor.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2014, 08:02:12 PM by Oscar_C »

RootofGood

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #98 on: June 06, 2014, 08:45:35 PM »
I get jealous of silly things.  Like a friend that lives 2 minutes walk from our elementary school (how convenient that would be instead of our 10 minute walk).  Then I think about how we are 5 minutes walking distance from the grocery store and restaurants, and the friend is 15 minutes walk from the same store.

We could easily live wherever we wanted, but moving isn't worth the hassle and would have its pluses and minuses. 

Otherwise, I don't get jealous about possessions.  If we want a new car, we can afford it.  New gadget?  We can buy it.  We are mostly lucky to not want for anything. 

Even for folks who have 10x our wealth, I don't think it can buy much more happiness. 


JT

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Re: Jealousy - does it happen to you?
« Reply #99 on: June 06, 2014, 09:17:04 PM »
Yup!  Ever since becoming a single Mum working full time and discovering MMM, I've been envious of people having holidays, people being able to stay home with their children, people spending freely on whatever they want....

But this isn't how I AM; and only recently figured it was a transition to a different, more financially-wise head space!

Because I am truly grateful for what my budget, savings rate, bike riding, job within 7kms, eating at home, buying second hand have achieved for us.  I recently resigned from my job and know we're good through to December.  It's the first experiment to retiring!

It truly is like Neo being unplugged in the Matrix!!!