I just need someone, to listen, and help me process what I'm going through.
I've been applying the Principles of Mustachianism in my life since last year.
One of the dearest principles to me is: You don't borrow money for you car.
This one stuck a chord with me, so I've held it close to my heart.
I've even shared the Way of the Stache to my mom, hoping to convert you.
You see, her dream is to purchase a car. A Toyota Innova.
But good mustachian daughter that I was, I've been discouraging her and waved the flagged of Being a Car Clown. I knew she had credit card bills to pay. I wanted her to prioritize those first. I didn't want her to be sunk deeper in the pit called "Debt".
Then last year, Hyundai Eon had a sale. You could purchase one for less than 500,000 Philippine Pesos. She wanted to get a car loan for that one, and was asking my permission.
Again, Ms. Philippine Mustachian that I was, I said no. If she bought the car, I wouldn't volunteer to pay for it, gas and maintenance. I would just allow the car to sit and rot in our garage. My motto was: I will only purchase for a car in cold hard cash. I don't care how long that would take me. I'm used to public transport. I can walk. I have an umbrella. I can plan when I'll go out.
And so, my mom didn't purchase one, because she saw how unenthusiastic I was.
Then this year, my mom began to tell me how I should learn how to drive like my older sister. How an important skill it is. Blah blah blah. She even enrolled me to driving school ( which I agreed, because she paid for it). I had an ominous premonition. The plants blocking our gate was removed. I asked our maids if my mom ordered them to move it. They said yes.
Mom asked me what color I preferred: white or silver. I told her white. I asked my mom if she planned to buy a car.
She answered: A Toyota Wigo.
sh(*(Q$*9q8-t!
I've never felt seething rage for my mom ever since. How could someone I love be so... financially st*p*d? I felt that was the greatest betrayal ever.
My old unhealthy way to cope began to emerge. I've ignored my mom. I don't talk to her.
Passive Aggressive. Definitely not healthy.
Then last Saturday, I had Graduate school. I went outside our house. Sh*t. The White Toyota Wigo. All in its shining splendid glory. its sparkling glory only reminded me of how financially illiterate my mom is. (okay, maybe I'm a little unfair here because of anger).
Someone else drove me to school.
I was riding the shiny Wigo. Sigh.
Of course, I still continued my passive aggressive ways. Still ignored my mom. But I figured: this is only hurting me.
So here's what I did to cope with my anger:
1. "It's my mom's money. It's non of my business."
2. "I'll just follow my principle: I won't contribute for the car. I won't pay gas for it."
3. If mom wants me to drive it (one day), she has to pay me for it.
4. I'll just ignore the car.
so there.
But I can't deny that there's this teeny tiny part of me that wants a car. and is happy to see car. Not just this way.
This Toyota Wigo is making me a mess, or I should say that my perception of the brand new car is making me a mess.
I would greatly appreciate anyone who can help me process out what I'm going through.