Author Topic: It's not jobs I hate...  (Read 5647 times)

Cowardly Toaster

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It's not jobs I hate...
« on: June 09, 2017, 11:08:04 AM »
It's not jobs I hate so much. I enjoy working. The real problem is that I grow tired of doing the same thing all the time.

Anyone else have this problem?

startingsmall

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2017, 08:56:07 PM »
Yep, this is 100% me.

I think I would happily work forever if I could either:

a) work a different job every day of the week..... something like Monday - small animal veterinarian, Tuesday - freelance writer, Wednesday - tutor to local students, Thursday - wildlife rehabber, Friday - financial planner

OR

b) change careers every couple of years.

This is the only reason that I want to FIRE. I definitely don't see myself entering the never-working category, but I want to have the freedom to dabble in a bunch of different things without worrying about it affecting my annual income, future employment opportunities, etc. Some of the dabbling may be paid while some may be volunteer, but the key component will be variety. I want to be constantly challenged and learning new things and I can't get that by staying in one job for a prolonged period of time.

I used to consider this a major character flaw, then ended up reading a few books on gifted adults. (I grew up as a  'gifted kid' with an IQ in the top 0.1%, and was fortunate to attend an amazing gifted school that challenged me intellectually and provided a degree of stimulation that college and veterinary school were never quite able to match. Despite my awesome education, though, I somehow never gave much thought to how giftedness would/could impact my post-education life until recently.... it was always presented as a "gifts are for sharing - help the world!" sort of scenario, without ever delving into the "giftedness also comes with these culturally-undesirable qualities that you need to be aware of..." scenario. I mean, obviously we knew that we were seen as nerds in the real world, but we never realized there was more to it than that.) Anyway, wanting to try every single career in existence is apparently pretty normal for gifted adults.... so at least I no longer feel quite as guilty about my career commitment issues!!
« Last Edit: June 10, 2017, 08:17:43 AM by startingsmall »

teen persuasion

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2017, 10:05:42 PM »
  It's not jobs I hate so much. I enjoy working. The real problem is that I grow tired of doing the same thing all the time. having someone else set my schedule for me.

I like my job, but sometimes I'd just rather do it later, or earlier, or tomorrow instead of Saturday.  I'd like to skip out in blizzard season, and double up in spring.  But the library has set hours, sadly, and people expect us to be there when we say we will.


As to doing different things all the time, try working in a library.  You never know what you'll be doing next.  Helping someone find info they need, tutoring kids after school, troubleshooting nonworking phones to send a fax, helping patrons upload photos to email for an insurance claim, dealing with the VPN crashing, promoting an online e-book club, creating sliders for the library website, coaching a drama club (or acting alongside the teens), teaching a STEM program on wind power, running preschool story hour, organizing a book sale, creating flyers and artwork, showing people how to use Ancestry.com, running Game club and Lego club...  Honestly, the first half dozen things on that list was just the unusual parts of last Thursday afternoon.  It's especially fun when I work alone!

redbird

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2017, 12:32:29 AM »
Honestly, it was the 40+ hours + commute that was the worst of all. It felt like I didn't have enough free time.

Beach_Stache

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2017, 06:59:05 AM »
I feel the same way!  I actually really like my job, and have always enjoyed working.  I like the challenge and the feeling of accomplishing something.  I currently work from home every day, so does my wife, and I have a part time gig coaching travel soccer.  I love all of these jobs, but I still save like crazy in case I ever end up hating my job.  I have so many friends who have liked jobs and then 1 change (1 new boss, telework policy, change of location, etc.) has ruined everything and turned them into lifeless souls.  I really like my job and end up working well over 40 hours/week just b/c I enjoy the daily challenges.  I love the change but I would hate a physical change in work (meaning a new location, new employees/bosses).  I hate physical changes/company changes but I love the daily change in the mission.

Now, given retiring today and doing whatever the hell I wanted, drinking coffee on the porch each morning rather than waking up at 6AM, I would sit around and do whatever I wanted each day, hang out at the gym for a few hours, the beach, gardening, whatever.  I would probably go stir crazy after a few weeks though.  I LOVE my jobs, well love is a strong word, but I have always enjoyed my jobs, all of them, even the crappy ones.  I guess I'm just a worker bee, but I am trying to save as much as I can in case the day comes that I HATE my job(s)...

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Linea_Norway

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2017, 09:20:58 AM »
I feel a bit like this, but also other a lot of other workrelated things. The fact that other people make unrealistic schedules so that we others cannot do a the best job. And just the fact that I don't have enough free time to do the stuff that I enjoy privately. I always feel stressed and without enough free time. Weekends are too short. Sitting inside in an office when the weather is great. Having to go to work while there is a blizard and frozen rain on the road and I would rather sit inside all day. And at work that so many things happen out of my control and make my working life difficult. Having reviews twice a year.
And just the total overwhelm of things to worry about at work, about our house and in the neighbourhood. Let's not even talk about the world with climate changes and politics.

TartanTallulah

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2017, 10:39:21 AM »
Yep, this is 100% me.

I think I would happily work forever if I could either:

a) work a different job every day of the week..... something like Monday - small animal veterinarian, Tuesday - freelance writer, Wednesday - tutor to local students, Thursday - wildlife rehabber, Friday - financial planner

OR

b) change careers every couple of years.

This is the only reason that I want to FIRE. I definitely don't see myself entering the never-working category, but I want to have the freedom to dabble in a bunch of different things without worrying about it affecting my annual income, future employment opportunities, etc. Some of the dabbling may be paid while some may be volunteer, but the key component will be variety. I want to be constantly challenged and learning new things and I can't get that by staying in one job for a prolonged period of time.

I used to consider this a major character flaw, then ended up reading a few books on gifted adults. (I grew up as a  'gifted kid' with an IQ in the top 0.1%, and was fortunate to attend an amazing gifted school that challenged me intellectually and provided a degree of stimulation that college and veterinary school were never quite able to match. Despite my awesome education, though, I somehow never gave much thought to how giftedness would/could impact my post-education life until recently.... it was always presented as a "gifts are for sharing - help the world!" sort of scenario, without ever delving into the "giftedness also comes with these culturally-undesirable qualities that you need to be aware of..." scenario. I mean, obviously we knew that we were seen as nerds in the real world, but we never realized there was more to it than that.) Anyway, wanting to try every single career in existence is apparently pretty normal for gifted adults.... so at least I no longer feel quite as guilty about my career commitment issues!!

I'm not especially gifted (bright enough, but well within the fat part of the bell curve) and have a job I mostly enjoy, but I often dream of having multiple parallel lives so that I could do lots of other jobs I think I'd like too, from teaching primary school to accountancy to being a garden designer to bumming around picking up seasonal work in an alpine resort. But on balance I'm glad I've stuck with the career I chose almost 40 years ago.


mozar

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2017, 10:52:45 AM »
Quote
giftedness also comes with these culturally-undesirable qualities that you need to be aware of..." scenario

I'm glad that this forum is a safe space for this discussion. I'm not gifted, just slightly above average. I've realized that its OK that I'm bored to tears in my career and its OK to look for something more intellectually stimulating.

startingsmall

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2017, 02:49:13 PM »
Quote
giftedness also comes with these culturally-undesirable qualities that you need to be aware of..." scenario

I'm glad that this forum is a safe space for this discussion. I'm not gifted, just slightly above average. I've realized that its OK that I'm bored to tears in my career and its OK to look for something more intellectually stimulating.

I kind of hesitated to share that factoid, but felt like it was potentially relevant to the discussion. I, too, am glad that this is one of very few places that I'd consider a safe space for this discussion.

lazyMustache

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2017, 09:50:14 PM »
  It's not jobs I hate so much. I enjoy working. The real problem is that I grow tired of doing the same thing all the time. having someone else set my schedule for me.

I like my job, but sometimes I'd just rather do it later, or earlier, or tomorrow instead of Saturday.  I'd like to skip out in blizzard season, and double up in spring.

I agree completely. This is exactly how I feel. I think many people feel this way (with added "I don't have enough free time" which is another manifestation of this problem) and its probably the biggest reason why people want to retire early. Most people don't want to quit their work, work is healthy, work is good. They just want to choose when and how much they work, and I totally belong in that camp too.

Case

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2017, 05:27:56 AM »
It's not jobs I hate so much. I enjoy working. The real problem is that I grow tired of doing the same thing all the time.

Anyone else have this problem?

There are jobs about there that can give you variety.  You will have to define for yourself what variety is.

I'm sure job boredom is not uncommon here, but it is a world I don't understand.  In my job, I have not ever been bored, not in the ~10 years I've been in the profession. The down side is the opposite end of the problem:  I have too much to do!  It ultimate leads to longer hours and higher stress.

In contrast to this, every government worker I know sits on their butt all day surfing the internet.  What a waste!

Finding the right balance between having an interesting job that challenges you enough but not too much, is hard.  Very hard.  But if the country could get it right and give everyone a good balance, then you'd have on the whole a happier society.

If you aren't challenged enough at work, go seek out more challenge.  Ask for more variety from your boss; but if your job is inherently repetitive and boring, then probably you'll need to seek a new job.

undercover

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2017, 05:33:17 AM »
Bouncing between different gigs every other day sounds more stressful than fun (pre-FI)...I'd rather be a "master" than a "jack". Masters get paid more, plain and simple. Work as hard as possible at the thing you're good at and pays the most until you can quit and then do what you want.

TaraB

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2017, 05:43:10 AM »
It's not jobs I hate so much. I enjoy working. The real problem is that I grow tired of doing the same thing all the time.

Anyone else have this problem?

YES!!! I've come to realize I would be super happy if I could change jobs every 6 months. And not like I would change duties, but very different jobs.
Yep, this is 100% me.

I think I would happily work forever if I could either:

a) work a different job every day of the week..... something like Monday - small animal veterinarian, Tuesday - freelance writer, Wednesday - tutor to local students, Thursday - wildlife rehabber, Friday - financial planner

OR

b) change careers every couple of years.

This is the only reason that I want to FIRE. I definitely don't see myself entering the never-working category, but I want to have the freedom to dabble in a bunch of different things without worrying about it affecting my annual income, future employment opportunities, etc. Some of the dabbling may be paid while some may be volunteer, but the key component will be variety. I want to be constantly challenged and learning new things and I can't get that by staying in one job for a prolonged period of time.


YES another kindred spirit!! I'm currently trying to decide my next career move, and I'm solidly debating between going to school to become a veterinarian or starting a women's health charity. Currently my position is accounting, and I can do this job in my sleep. Oh yeah, option 3 on the table right now- yoga teacher.

The hardest part is that I know myself and I know I'd be great at 100 different jobs as long as I got a tiny bit of training. But employers don't get this because it doesn't fit neatly on my resume.

At one point in my life I had a boss who understood this and would give me new challenges when we were first working together. But as business needs outweighed my personal development....I got bored and left!

I don't have much wisdom besides continuing your own path of learning- if there's anything tangentially related to your job you want to explore, as your boss if you can go to a class or a seminar for it (make them pay!).

Rimu05

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2017, 07:38:53 AM »
Yep, this is 100% me.

I think I would happily work forever if I could either:

a) work a different job every day of the week..... something like Monday - small animal veterinarian, Tuesday - freelance writer, Wednesday - tutor to local students, Thursday - wildlife rehabber, Friday - financial planner

OR

b) change careers every couple of years.

This is the only reason that I want to FIRE. I definitely don't see myself entering the never-working category, but I want to have the freedom to dabble in a bunch of different things without worrying about it affecting my annual income, future employment opportunities, etc. Some of the dabbling may be paid while some may be volunteer, but the key component will be variety. I want to be constantly challenged and learning new things and I can't get that by staying in one job for a prolonged period of time.

I used to consider this a major character flaw, then ended up reading a few books on gifted adults. (I grew up as a  'gifted kid' with an IQ in the top 0.1%, and was fortunate to attend an amazing gifted school that challenged me intellectually and provided a degree of stimulation that college and veterinary school were never quite able to match. Despite my awesome education, though, I somehow never gave much thought to how giftedness would/could impact my post-education life until recently.... it was always presented as a "gifts are for sharing - help the world!" sort of scenario, without ever delving into the "giftedness also comes with these culturally-undesirable qualities that you need to be aware of..." scenario. I mean, obviously we knew that we were seen as nerds in the real world, but we never realized there was more to it than that.) Anyway, wanting to try every single career in existence is apparently pretty normal for gifted adults.... so at least I no longer feel quite as guilty about my career commitment issues!!

I've always thought wanting to try different things is a very humane quality. Heck, learning a fourth language currently. I am by no means gifted, but I've always been very interested in different things academically and even sports wise. I also tend to get bored after a while which makes commitment rather difficult.


startingsmall

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2017, 08:47:24 AM »
I'm currently trying to decide my next career move, and I'm solidly debating between going to school to become a veterinarian or starting a women's health charity. Currently my position is accounting, and I can do this job in my sleep. Oh yeah, option 3 on the table right now- yoga teacher.

The hardest part is that I know myself and I know I'd be great at 100 different jobs as long as I got a tiny bit of training. But employers don't get this because it doesn't fit neatly on my resume.



If you want to have the sort of freedom you're describing, I would definitely suggest against vet med. The finances are hard to justify even as a lifelong career, much less as someone who (like me) gets bored with the field after 10 years!!

TaraB

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #15 on: June 12, 2017, 11:36:58 AM »

If you want to have the sort of freedom you're describing, I would definitely suggest against vet med. The finances are hard to justify even as a lifelong career, much less as someone who (like me) gets bored with the field after 10 years!!

SS- Oh yes, especially since I took none of the usual prereqs in undergrad....so I'd have to take 2-3 years of courses BEFORE vet school.....with COLLEGE KIDS....I'm too old for that and yet I keep thinking about it.

But thanks for the reminder/facepunch :)

startingsmall

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #16 on: June 12, 2017, 12:07:47 PM »

If you want to have the sort of freedom you're describing, I would definitely suggest against vet med. The finances are hard to justify even as a lifelong career, much less as someone who (like me) gets bored with the field after 10 years!!

SS- Oh yes, especially since I took none of the usual prereqs in undergrad....so I'd have to take 2-3 years of courses BEFORE vet school.....with COLLEGE KIDS....I'm too old for that and yet I keep thinking about it.

But thanks for the reminder/facepunch :)

The return on investment for female DVMs is currently -$70k (compared to bachelor's degree holders).

From the February 15, 2015 edition of JAVMA:  http://avmajournals.avma.org/doi/full/10.2460/javma.246.4.422 
Photo below.

« Last Edit: June 12, 2017, 06:56:39 PM by startingsmall »

TaraB

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2017, 06:00:53 AM »

If you want to have the sort of freedom you're describing, I would definitely suggest against vet med. The finances are hard to justify even as a lifelong career, much less as someone who (like me) gets bored with the field after 10 years!!

SS- Oh yes, especially since I took none of the usual prereqs in undergrad....so I'd have to take 2-3 years of courses BEFORE vet school.....with COLLEGE KIDS....I'm too old for that and yet I keep thinking about it.

But thanks for the reminder/facepunch :)

The return on investment for female DVMs is currently -$70k (compared to bachelor's degree holders).

From the February 15, 2015 edition of JAVMA:  http://avmajournals.avma.org/doi/full/10.2460/javma.246.4.422 
Photo below.

So you're saying I should get a sex change before becoming a vet? LOL

Thanks startingsmall...reminds me of my backup plan- befriend a vet instead!

startingsmall

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2017, 06:31:02 AM »

If you want to have the sort of freedom you're describing, I would definitely suggest against vet med. The finances are hard to justify even as a lifelong career, much less as someone who (like me) gets bored with the field after 10 years!!

SS- Oh yes, especially since I took none of the usual prereqs in undergrad....so I'd have to take 2-3 years of courses BEFORE vet school.....with COLLEGE KIDS....I'm too old for that and yet I keep thinking about it.

But thanks for the reminder/facepunch :)

The return on investment for female DVMs is currently -$70k (compared to bachelor's degree holders).

From the February 15, 2015 edition of JAVMA:  http://avmajournals.avma.org/doi/full/10.2460/javma.246.4.422 
Photo below.

So you're saying I should get a sex change before becoming a vet? LOL

Thanks startingsmall...reminds me of my backup plan- befriend a vet instead!

Well, a sex change is one option, I guess! LOL. Seriously, though, the vet field just isn't what I (and many of my classmates!) thought it would be and I hate to see people going into this field without their eyes wide open. I knew that the field didn't make financial sense when I started vet school 15 yrs ago, but it makes even less sense now. And I thought the emotional rewards would outweigh the financial sacrifices.... wish I had listened more to my mentors who (in hindsight) were subtly warning me that I may not find that to be the case!

dcozad999

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #19 on: June 13, 2017, 08:26:07 AM »
Quote
giftedness also comes with these culturally-undesirable qualities that you need to be aware of..." scenario

I'm glad that this forum is a safe space for this discussion. I'm not gifted, just slightly above average. I've realized that its OK that I'm bored to tears in my career and its OK to look for something more intellectually stimulating.

I kind of hesitated to share that factoid, but felt like it was potentially relevant to the discussion. I, too, am glad that this is one of very few places that I'd consider a safe space for this discussion.


Many studies have shown that the gifted have no higher chance of success than those with average IQs. Here's a good article on the problems that go along with being gifted.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200911/the-problem-giftedness





Vertical Mode

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #20 on: June 13, 2017, 08:46:10 AM »
Honestly, it was the 40+ hours + commute that was the worst of all. It felt like I didn't have enough free time.

This Raptitude article speaks to the issue of time scarcity in a way I hadn't encountered before. You may find this an interesting read:

http://www.raptitude.com/2010/07/your-lifestyle-has-already-been-designed/

startingsmall

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2017, 09:14:53 AM »
Quote
giftedness also comes with these culturally-undesirable qualities that you need to be aware of..." scenario

I'm glad that this forum is a safe space for this discussion. I'm not gifted, just slightly above average. I've realized that its OK that I'm bored to tears in my career and its OK to look for something more intellectually stimulating.

I kind of hesitated to share that factoid, but felt like it was potentially relevant to the discussion. I, too, am glad that this is one of very few places that I'd consider a safe space for this discussion.


Many studies have shown that the gifted have no higher chance of success than those with average IQs. Here's a good article on the problems that go along with being gifted.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200911/the-problem-giftedness

Hadn't seen that article before - thanks!!

I've ended up with a life that is, by most measures, quite successful. I did great in school, college, and veterinary school; I have a fabulous husband and daughter; I have had a steady/"successful" veterinary career; and my finances are in good shape. My problems are mostly in the 'life satisfaction' department.

I went through a phase last year where I finally recognized some of those downsides of giftedness (after my husband asking me if I thought I had Asperger's and me deciding to do more research on the topic, which led me to start researching adult giftedness). I read a few interesting books on the topic and then  ended up joining The Triple Nine Society (which is kind of like Mensa, but more selective - they accept members who score in the top 0.01%, instead of the top 2%). It has been interesting to learn about how many of us face similar challenges. I see why these issues weren't discussed when we were kids in school (not exactly inspiring topics!), but I kind of wish they had been. Who knows if we would have listened, though.

mozar

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2017, 10:58:23 AM »
Quote
Many studies have shown that the gifted have no higher chance of success than those with average IQs. Here's a good article on the problems that go along with being gifted.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200911/the-problem-giftedness

I don't want to go down the rabbit hole of what the definition of success is. Giftedness is a series of traits (think neuro-diversity). For anyone who wants more information a great place to start is the Davidson Institute: davidsongifted.org
I started reading about giftedness when I started researching existential depression. I was so relieved to find out that my problems weren't unique to me. Problems with authority, job satisfaction, boredom, not understanding why things can't be fixed... I'm not saying that its impossible to feel that way without a certain IQ, but you should definitely look into giftedness if you do feel that way. But you definitely don't have to be successful by societies measure to be gifted (me: not married, don't have a job, I'm writing this in my pjs at 1pm...)

dividendman

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #23 on: June 13, 2017, 11:21:20 AM »
I hate the time commitment. I would gladly take one sixth the pay to work one fifth the time.

dcozad999

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #24 on: June 13, 2017, 11:47:30 AM »
Quote
Many studies have shown that the gifted have no higher chance of success than those with average IQs. Here's a good article on the problems that go along with being gifted.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200911/the-problem-giftedness

I don't want to go down the rabbit hole of what the definition of success is. Giftedness is a series of traits (think neuro-diversity). For anyone who wants more information a great place to start is the Davidson Institute: davidsongifted.org
I started reading about giftedness when I started researching existential depression. I was so relieved to find out that my problems weren't unique to me. Problems with authority, job satisfaction, boredom, not understanding why things can't be fixed... I'm not saying that its impossible to feel that way without a certain IQ, but you should definitely look into giftedness if you do feel that way. But you definitely don't have to be successful by societies measure to be gifted (me: not married, don't have a job, I'm writing this in my pjs at 1pm...)


My point was that for various reasons, having a high IQ is not a determinant of success.  My wife is a licensed therapist and has studied this extensively. She does NOT want either of our children to test in the gifted range.  I obviously don't have the resources, but in her opinion, someone with an average IQ has a better chance at being successful than someone with a high IQ. Their potential is obviously higher, but many seem to have a lack of desire to challenge themselves.

Like you said though, how does one measure success? 

dcozad999

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #25 on: June 13, 2017, 11:49:56 AM »
Quote
giftedness also comes with these culturally-undesirable qualities that you need to be aware of..." scenario

I'm glad that this forum is a safe space for this discussion. I'm not gifted, just slightly above average. I've realized that its OK that I'm bored to tears in my career and its OK to look for something more intellectually stimulating.

I kind of hesitated to share that factoid, but felt like it was potentially relevant to the discussion. I, too, am glad that this is one of very few places that I'd consider a safe space for this discussion.


Many studies have shown that the gifted have no higher chance of success than those with average IQs. Here's a good article on the problems that go along with being gifted.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200911/the-problem-giftedness

Hadn't seen that article before - thanks!!

I've ended up with a life that is, by most measures, quite successful. I did great in school, college, and veterinary school; I have a fabulous husband and daughter; I have had a steady/"successful" veterinary career; and my finances are in good shape. My problems are mostly in the 'life satisfaction' department.

I went through a phase last year where I finally recognized some of those downsides of giftedness (after my husband asking me if I thought I had Asperger's and me deciding to do more research on the topic, which led me to start researching adult giftedness). I read a few interesting books on the topic and then  ended up joining The Triple Nine Society (which is kind of like Mensa, but more selective - they accept members who score in the top 0.01%, instead of the top 2%). It has been interesting to learn about how many of us face similar challenges. I see why these issues weren't discussed when we were kids in school (not exactly inspiring topics!), but I kind of wish they had been. Who knows if we would have listened, though.


My wife has also told me I have Asperger's. Sometimes I'm not sure if she is joking or not. 
« Last Edit: June 13, 2017, 11:52:12 AM by dcozad999 »

startingsmall

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #26 on: June 13, 2017, 12:32:00 PM »
Quote
Many studies have shown that the gifted have no higher chance of success than those with average IQs. Here's a good article on the problems that go along with being gifted.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200911/the-problem-giftedness

I don't want to go down the rabbit hole of what the definition of success is. Giftedness is a series of traits (think neuro-diversity). For anyone who wants more information a great place to start is the Davidson Institute: davidsongifted.org
I started reading about giftedness when I started researching existential depression. I was so relieved to find out that my problems weren't unique to me. Problems with authority, job satisfaction, boredom, not understanding why things can't be fixed... I'm not saying that its impossible to feel that way without a certain IQ, but you should definitely look into giftedness if you do feel that way. But you definitely don't have to be successful by societies measure to be gifted (me: not married, don't have a job, I'm writing this in my pjs at 1pm...)


My point was that for various reasons, having a high IQ is not a determinant of success.  My wife is a licensed therapist and has studied this extensively. She does NOT want either of our children to test in the gifted range.  I obviously don't have the resources, but in her opinion, someone with an average IQ has a better chance at being successful than someone with a high IQ. Their potential is obviously higher, but many seem to have a lack of desire to challenge themselves.

Like you said though, how does one measure success?

I do not want my daughter to be gifted. I feel that my life would be easier and more pleasant if I were more "normal."

Unfortunately, her only standardized test to date (Brigance Screens III, administered my our school district as kindergarten screening) does suggest that she has "the curse."

markbike528CBX

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #27 on: June 13, 2017, 01:14:02 PM »
........Who knows if we would have listened, though.

You jest.   

Remembering a Social Studies teacher/football coach describe New Guinea as  "off the coast of South America ", and firmly closing my ears to any further statements.

Getting in trouble for reading the history text in class so I wouldn't be tempted to listen and comment on the lecture.

Oddly enough,  New Guinea IS  "off the coast of South America " if you draw the right line.


mozar

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #28 on: June 13, 2017, 01:46:43 PM »
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She does NOT want either of our children to test in the gifted range.

That's seems a bit extreme. I mean, it's not like she gets to choose how they do. And if your kids are struggling in school you can help them get the help they need.

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I do not want my daughter to be gifted."
You already had her though, so you might as well figure out best to help.

But take my advice with a grain of salt. I don't have kids and have decided against having genetically related children because its not fair for someone to inherit the mess in my head.

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Like you said though, how does one measure success?
I don't know, meeting your own goals maybe, being able to feed, clothe, and keep a roof over your head? Words like "success" don't really hold any weight for me.

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after my husband asking me if I thought I had Asperger's and me deciding to do more research on the topic

I've been "accused" of having Asbergers as well. Most people have a very limited idea of what constitutes normal. But I don't spend time with people like that any more (I call them the "normals") and I'm much happier and nicer to be around).





dcozad999

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #29 on: June 13, 2017, 02:59:40 PM »
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She does NOT want either of our children to test in the gifted range.

That's seems a bit extreme. I mean, it's not like she gets to choose how they do. And if your kids are struggling in school you can help them get the help they need.

Quote
I do not want my daughter to be gifted."
You already had her though, so you might as well figure out best to help.

But take my advice with a grain of salt. I don't have kids and have decided against having genetically related children because its not fair for someone to inherit the mess in my head.

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Like you said though, how does one measure success?
I don't know, meeting your own goals maybe, being able to feed, clothe, and keep a roof over your head? Words like "success" don't really hold any weight for me.

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after my husband asking me if I thought I had Asperger's and me deciding to do more research on the topic

I've been "accused" of having Asbergers as well. Most people have a very limited idea of what constitutes normal. But I don't spend time with people like that any more (I call them the "normals") and I'm much happier and nicer to be around).



I'll check with my wife, but I'm pretty sure she will still love our kids if they turn out to be gifted.

mozar

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #30 on: June 13, 2017, 03:37:33 PM »
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I'll check with my wife, but I'm pretty sure she will still love our kids if they turn out to be gifted.

:-)

Chaplin

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #31 on: June 13, 2017, 06:27:00 PM »
My wife has also told me I have Asperger's. Sometimes I'm not sure if she is joking or not.

If you knew whether she was joking or not it would indicate you didn't have Asperger's. (I mean this in the lightest, "laughing with" not "laughing at" way)

Frugal Lizard

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #32 on: June 14, 2017, 07:44:25 AM »
My wife has also told me I have Asperger's. Sometimes I'm not sure if she is joking or not.

If you knew whether she was joking or not it would indicate you didn't have Asperger's. (I mean this in the lightest, "laughing with" not "laughing at" way)
+1 
love the clever humour I find in the forum.

I am definitely not gifted but a quick learner and creative.  I have found school incredibly boring most of my life until a teacher would get that I was bored. Then I could do some self-directed learning.  Those teachers were few and far between.

I am only occasionally bored in my paid work.  I am a self-employed landscape architect. The continual challenge of landing work, through demonstrating an understanding of the issues and the client's needs, a sharp pencil on pricing and the site variables keeps it interesting.  Unfortunately I don't make a lot of money at it.  I don't have to work with the masses a lot of the time and most project teams only have one really stupid person on them.  Sometimes the stupid person is in charge but mostly I can avoid them. I think part of my income issue is that I have a policy of not working with or for a$$holes.  It means I don't do a lot of developer work that is cookie cutter and repeat.  The variety of public and private work I do is interesting but continual learning and experimentation and persuading people to take risks doesn't make for high fees.

des999

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Re: It's not jobs I hate...
« Reply #33 on: June 14, 2017, 07:59:29 AM »
agree with most, job is good, I find it important to get the feeling of achievement or doing something well.

I took 3 months off about 7 years ago and was really ready to get back in the work force after those 3 months.  (I might be due for another 3 month break)

I just hate schedules, I don't like to get up early, I don't like to work same time same day.  I'm hoping my company allows me to do part time, once I hate the 'number' in my stash I need.

I know my company was trying to appear to the younger generation by offering flexible schedules, work from home, etc.. but that pretty much went away once they realized it was not easy to control.  I work for a mega corp, so that's a lot of employees to keep track of.  I think eventually the 40 hour 9-5 mindset will adjust, but it won't be during my shorten career.