Thank you, @gaja . The social disapproval or outright punishment is real for women who try to be assertive (the way a man is expected to be) and are instead perceived as difficult, demanding, selfish, or unlikable.
My experience is rather different. I spent several years before my current career path working in a 95% female dominated workplace. The last 10 years its the opposite, probably 95% male dominated work place.
When I was in the female dominated work place, the women would have zero issue berating male employees or treating them in any different way, in fact, it sometimes seemed like they felt threatened by having a male work in “their” environment.
In my current industry, which is very cut throat, the women are often put on a pedestal. Less swearing with them around, no yelling, everyone is extra friendly, etc.
Several years ago I had a woman who worked for me that used this to her full advantage. Well - one day a manager who was very popular for not sugar coating anything, laid into her just like he would anyone else who deserved it. His boss came to me (as she worked for me) asking if there was anything that needed to be done (to the gentleman that yelled at her). I told him, “nope, she had it coming and it’s nice to see that he wasn’t treating her any differently than anyone else at the company.” She, of course, was very insulted and upset.
Funny when sometimes people “don’t want to be treated any differently,” until, well, they actually ARENT treated any differently.
FYI - one of the women that worked FOR me, made MORE than me. She just got hired in at a better time. She also had less education, less experience (I know this because she was hired onto her first job while we worked together at a previous company). In fact, when management wanted to lay her off I even pulled strings and reorganized staff to keep her longer, and nothing about her stood out for me to do such aside from being friends.
Did I care? NOPE. Couldn’t have cared less. I knew that she was hired under different circumstances and that’s the way life works. I don’t think I ever even mentioned it to a single person, at work or outside work, until this post.
I’m sure if I walked around with some chip on my shoulder like some people here seem to, I could only see it negatively effecting everything else into a downwards spiral.