Hello, I am looking for some input on my situation! I'll try to give enough info without droning on. My husband is not very frugal like I am. He works full time and makes the majority of the income. I stay home with our kids and work a few side jobs. We save about 20% of our gross income. I would like to save more but H doesn't want to. He spends a lot on lunches out, beer, sports equipment, DVDs, gas for SUV that he drives a few blocks to work while his expensive bike sits in the garage, etc. I handle the bill paying and IRA contributions. He refuses to go by any kind of budget or cut back on his money wasting, so I have given up on nagging about it and just try to live by example in order to keep the peace. Once in awhile he will comment about how he has no idea where our money goes and I better not be stashing any away, to which I always tell him to just check Mint and he will see where the money is going.
The only debt we have is my student loan, which was incurred before the marriage, for a degree that was not required for the kind of work I do now. From the beginning of our marriage he has NOT wanted me to make extra payments on the loan. It's like he sees it as only "my" debt, so he doesn't want "our" money to go towards it any more that it has to. It is down to around $15,000 now, and I am really itching to just get that thing paid off quickly. We haven't discussed paying extra on it for awhile, and for the last year, I have secretly been making extra payments on the loan. The extra payments have not taken away from the needs of the family at all, and he doesn't notice the money because I use it from one of my side jobs that pays through paypal. I am starting to feel more and more stressed about it, because I feel like maybe this counts as "hiding" money away. Also, the lower the balance gets, the more I just want to get the stupid thing paid off faster, which he will notice. The rate is pretty low, but I just hate that lingering debt.
So my problem is, do I tell him about the extra payments as a conversation like "I have something I need to confess..." or do I just make a casual comment about the extra payments and then act like I thought he wouldn't care? The crazy thing is, if I were blowing money on things like getting my hair and nails done or going out for coffee/lunch all the time, I don't think he would care, because he wastes so much money himself. It's the fact that I am spending money on my loan that would bother him. He is going to notice eventually that the balance has been going down faster than usual, and I'm not going to lie about it if he asks me. Does anyone think I have been doing something very wrong?