The Money Mustache Community

Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: mohawkbrah on September 03, 2017, 11:18:02 PM

Title: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: mohawkbrah on September 03, 2017, 11:18:02 PM
I sort of wish i never discovered MMM but at the same time glad i did

Right now every time morning i wake up im so happy before i remember i have to go to work then a sudden feeling of dread overcomes me, im miserable working in general. I feel like i should quit my job and live cheaply for a year in a more livable city and find a job soon after or before that year is up if one comes along.

For example, room to rent in sunderland with bills included is only 250 a month, i want  to do it but im scared. I have a decent portfolio started up, not near FIRE anytime soon got another 5-8 years to go.

But basically im fed up with the city i live in, the job i work in, the future prospects of this city.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: joonifloofeefloo on September 03, 2017, 11:38:24 PM
You have an excellent portfolio (on track to FIRE in 5-8). You're willing to move to a LCOL area, and to start work at another job before a year is up. You sound completely eligible for a sabbatical! I would go for it :)
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: UKstache on September 04, 2017, 08:03:35 AM
Move to Sunderland? Have you been? Some places are cheap for a reason.

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Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: Playing with Fire UK on September 04, 2017, 02:31:48 PM
What's that saying, "wherever you go, there you are"?

How much of your misery is recent? Have you enjoyed other jobs in the past? Are you happy away from work? When have you last had a holiday and was it a proper break?

There is a stage of MMM that a number of posters seem to go through when the prospect of work being over in eight years time makes it more miserable today. This phase passed for me, YMMV. (If you feel genuinely depressed, see a doctor sooner rather than later.)

If you have considered all of the above, and you think that a sabbatical is the answer, go!

Have you considered going further? Check out WWOOFing, cheap COL countries, go see Europe before Brexit!

There is nothing wrong with you for being upset and miserable at work. There is something wrong with your life if you are upset and miserable.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: dreams_and_discoveries on September 04, 2017, 03:22:28 PM
OK, here's the question. What makes you wake up happy?

And conversely on the job front, what makes you dislike your job? And the place you live?


Have you considered aligning the two, to get a job that brings you closer to happiness?

What would your ideal job look like, in a dream world?

If you won 1m in the lottery, what exactly would you do?

What do you envision doing all day in a rented room in a shared house in Sunderland? Would that bring you true happiness?
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: former player on September 04, 2017, 03:23:34 PM
It's not you, it's your job.  You are young, sensible and resourceful and have a stache: use those abilities to find something to do with your life that you will enjoy.  Playing with Fire UK's suggestion of working abroad is a good one: if you are under 26 (or is it 30?) you can get a working visa to Canada or Australia for a year, which might suit you very well.  Or buy a tent and walk the coast paths in the UK or the grand randonnees in France and Spain.  The world is your oyster, shuck it open.

Sunderland has just about the highest unemployment rate in the UK.  It's a place people leave, not one they go to.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: marty998 on September 05, 2017, 05:33:50 AM
You're 21... dude, the world belongs to you.

Chin up and embrace every opportunity to grow.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: SpreadsheetMan on September 05, 2017, 06:01:14 AM
It's not you, it's your job.  You are young, sensible and resourceful and have a stache: use those abilities to find something to do with your life that you will enjoy.  Playing with Fire UK's suggestion of working abroad is a good one: if you are under 26 (or is it 30?) you can get a working visa to Canada or Australia for a year, which might suit you very well.  Or buy a tent and walk the coast paths in the UK or the grand randonnees in France and Spain.  The world is your oyster, shuck it open.

Sunderland has just about the highest unemployment rate in the UK.  It's a place people leave, not one they go to.

I was born and grew up not that far from Sunderland. All I can say is that would be right at the bottom of any list of places I wanted to live. (vying with Middlesborough)
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: Playing with Fire UK on September 05, 2017, 11:59:52 PM
It's not you, it's your job.  You are young, sensible and resourceful and have a stache: use those abilities to find something to do with your life that you will enjoy.  Playing with Fire UK's suggestion of working abroad is a good one: if you are under 26 (or is it 30?) you can get a working visa to Canada or Australia for a year, which might suit you very well.  Or buy a tent and walk the coast paths in the UK or the grand randonnees in France and Spain.  The world is your oyster, shuck it open.

Sunderland has just about the highest unemployment rate in the UK.  It's a place people leave, not one they go to.

I was born and grew up not that far from Sunderland. All I can say is that would be right at the bottom of any list of places I wanted to live. (vying with Middlesborough)

And yet the OP is miserable enough at work to go and live there. I think it reflects more on the work than Sunderland.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: former player on September 06, 2017, 01:50:08 AM
It's not you, it's your job.  You are young, sensible and resourceful and have a stache: use those abilities to find something to do with your life that you will enjoy.  Playing with Fire UK's suggestion of working abroad is a good one: if you are under 26 (or is it 30?) you can get a working visa to Canada or Australia for a year, which might suit you very well.  Or buy a tent and walk the coast paths in the UK or the grand randonnees in France and Spain.  The world is your oyster, shuck it open.

Sunderland has just about the highest unemployment rate in the UK.  It's a place people leave, not one they go to.

I was born and grew up not that far from Sunderland. All I can say is that would be right at the bottom of any list of places I wanted to live. (vying with Middlesborough)

And yet the OP is miserable enough at work to go and live there. I think it reflects more on the work than Sunderland.
Yes, OP needs to leave work soon, before starting to have it ingrained that they are the problem rather than work.  I'm just worried that Sunderland would have a similar effect as that job, when OP has many better options if they can just manage to look through the fug created by that job and see them.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: Playing with Fire UK on September 06, 2017, 04:31:46 AM
Totally agreed Former Player!

OP, are you still living with your parent(s)? Is there any optimisation to be done with your living situation?

Either way, please drop us a line to let us know that you are okay.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: Linea_Norway on September 06, 2017, 06:15:50 AM
I sort of wish i never discovered MMM but at the same time glad i did

Right now every time morning i wake up im so happy before i remember i have to go to work then a sudden feeling of dread overcomes me, im miserable working in general. I feel like i should quit my job and live cheaply for a year in a more livable city and find a job soon after or before that year is up if one comes along.

For example, room to rent in sunderland with bills included is only 250 a month, i want  to do it but im scared. I have a decent portfolio started up, not near FIRE anytime soon got another 5-8 years to go.

But basically im fed up with the city i live in, the job i work in, the future prospects of this city.

It is not strange to be fed up with your work and your city. You should make some big changes in your life, move somewhere else and get another job. Taking a sabbatical could perhaps cause you to not find a new job so easily after that.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: Moonwaves on September 06, 2017, 07:59:17 AM
At the risk of sounding flippant, when was the last time you had a holiday? A proper, get away from it all at least two-week long holiday? It does sound like it would be worth talking to somebody about being depressed as well. It is really important to remember that no matter how much you enjoy your job (or not), you really need to get away from it every once in a while.
Title: Re: is there something wrong with me?
Post by: matchewed on September 06, 2017, 09:31:10 AM
Remember that every where you go there you are. Nothing you said has been anything about your environment but mostly about how you feel about it. Change how you feel about it.