Is living at home acceptable?

[Goldielocks]

One member above mentioned when they lived at home when they were older they "packed their own lunch for work."

The fact someone would mention that would make me think they must have been super reliant on their parents before that point.

Huh, I read that post to mean his Dad set down financial rules.... If you live here you will save money, including not buying a lunch.   It is so true that many 20's workers eat out for lunch a lot.

My rule if kids want to move back is to charge a reasonable room and board, so it is easy for them to move out.  That money would likely be given back to them for a down payment, SL debt, or retirement funds, but I would want them to be used to normal monthly spending, based on their earnings.  My guess is that half of all who move back start to spend too much, and half are just fine.

[mamagoose]

If you decide to live at home, do your future wife & kids a favor and learn how to COOK and CLEAN, don't just let your parents do it all for you like you're still a teenager. I'm saying this with 10000% seriousness. Living at home with your parents cooking for (ideally WITH) you is such a great learning opportunity, it's like having a chef every night available to teach you one of the most valuable skills you will use every single day for the rest of your life. Don't squander it. It's also a great way to impress the ladies - if a girl thinks it's weird that you live with your parents, you can just come back with "yeah but I can make a killer chicken parm..."

[Emg03063]

Totally unacceptable.  You might as well not even try, because as soon as you graduate from college and set foot on your parents' doorstep, the internet social acceptability police are going to pick you up, haul you off to the nearest apartment complex, force you to sign a lease, and move you in. (Sarcasm).

In all seriousness, if they're cool with it and you're cool with it, and the lack of privacy doesn't cramp your love life too much, then go for it.  If it does and you decide you want more privacy at some point down the road, you can always move out.

[patrickza]

As long as your parents are ok with it, go for it. I stayed home for 5 years after finishing my degree, my brother went a little overboard and did 10 years. Now we're both out and my mom feels lonely at times, so we get a lot of phone calls.

My advice is if you're young, try find a way to skip rent payments for a few years. It puts you well ahead. If I didn't have family to stay with, I'd try stealth live in a van, or on a cheap boat. I'd make it an adventure for a few years.

[clarkfan1979]

Its normal. Have a talk with your parents about bills first. As long as their is no miscommunication, it should work out just fine.

[Monocle Money Mouth]

I lived with my parents all through college and a couple of years afterward also. I graduated with zero debt and had a nice emergency fund by the time I moved out. It was worth it. Anybody that thought I was a loser never said it to my face and if they did, meh. It also didn't effect my relationship with my girlfriend, now my wife.

My wife was in a bigger hurry to move out after school. She says she regrets moving out so quickly as she could have saved several thousands of dollars in rent and utilities. Her parents weren't forcing her to move out either and she paid a lot for the privilege of living in a 1 bedroom apartment for 2 years.

If you don't mind living with you parents for a few extra years and they don't mind, I say take advantage of their generosity. Housing is a huge expense. If you can avoid paying it for a few years, you can really start building your savings. Your savings will make it much less stressful when you finally are out on your own.

[andy85]

Who the fk cares? OP, if your relationship with your parents is good and you dont give af, then do it. In my opinion it is society's problem if they make a big deal of it. If this were an Asian country, it would be perfectly acceptable.

(all pre-MMM) I lived at home for a year after college. moved out. got into credit card debt with shitty jobs. Made the decision to move back home. got an entry level job with a great, large company. Paid off my debt. had to buy a car because my beater died. saved nearly 20k in cash and another 25ishk in retirement accounts. on my 3rd promotion. i went from -8k to my name to almost a 40k NW. I paid all my bills (car, car ins, groceries, cell, etc). I did my own laundry. I cooked my own meals. I cut the grass. i took the garbage out. the only thing i didnt do was pay utilities and rent. but my parents are seriously cool as shit. we get along great. Sure, your sex life will take a hit, but im pretty sure getting on the right track for next 20 years financially wins out over a few years living at home. lived at home til i was 30 (moved out 3 months ago). 6k left on a car loan, then all i have is my house payment. I'm set. not a single fuck was/is given that i made that decision....because it was the correct decision.

i feel like when you graduate college you see all your friends buying houses and cars and you have a fairly decent idea of their income. i always thought this was just crazy. how are these people affording this!? I didn't even have school loans so i was surely better off financially upon graduation, so just how in the fk are they affording it!? well, they arent. they are screwing themselves over because when you graduate you are obviously supposed to buy a new car and and buy a starter home while socializing at bars every weekend. no thanks. do yourself a favor and live at home until you think you are ready, as long as your parents are cool with it.

[Big Boots Buddha]

I read what was said before but I will say it again because its true.

If you are male and live at home, dating will be hard.

On the other hand if you are female, men could care less. Thin, feminine, smile a lot and live at home. That might be an ideal girl.

Doesn't go both ways.

Personally, I'd say it might be worth it, especially if you are decided to stashing some money.

[Mmm_Donuts]

The perfect woman is barefoot, living at home with her parents, so that she is used to being dependent on others. She then has extra time to learn from her mother how to cook.

The perfect man shows no sign of weakness or dependency. He is the giver, not the taker. Others depend on him, and he is fierce and strong. He does not cry at movies.

Right guys? How is this not sexist?

All of the above needs to be seen as your opinion, not "that's just the way it is." Because as others have said, not everyone sees the world this way, thankfully!

[Easye418]

I read what was said before but I will say it again because its true.

If you are male and live at home, dating will be hard.

On the other hand if you are female, men could care less. Thin, feminine, smile a lot and live at home. That might be an ideal girl.

Doesn't go both ways.

Personally, I'd say it might be worth it, especially if you are decided to stashing some money.

Hold you horses.  This can't possible be true if it has a sexist connotation.

Your views are exactly what I have witnessed in real life.  I'm married, but I see how my buddies do.

The perfect woman is barefoot, living at home with her parents, so that she is used to being dependent on others. She then has extra time to learn from her mother how to cook.

The perfect man shows no sign of weakness or dependency. He is the giver, not the taker. Others depend on him, and he is fierce and strong. He does not cry at movies.

Right guys? How is this not sexist?

All of the above needs to be seen as your opinion, not "that's just the way it is." Because as others have said, not everyone sees the world this way, thankfully!

Of course, like I said above, this is a highly subjective post.  Everything is based on experiences that everyone has gone through.  I also think that it has a lot to do with our personality and who you associate with.

People are taking the sexism way too far.  This thread is just consistently begin derailed.  The mods should lock the thread before it spirals.

[2Cent]

I read what was said before but I will say it again because its true.

If you are male and live at home, dating will be hard.

On the other hand if you are female, men could care less. Thin, feminine, smile a lot and live at home. That might be an ideal girl.

Doesn't go both ways.

Personally, I'd say it might be worth it, especially if you are decided to stashing some money.

I think when you just start working it's better to focus on getting settled in your career. Having money and a good job will more than make up for a few years of depending on your parents in terms of finding a nice girl. I'm assuming that the people here are less interested in short term relationships and can put off things to get a better result.

[Mmm_Donuts]

Easye: it's true that is issue depends on culture. And time period. In NE China, and wherever you're from, maybe this type of belief is still the norm. But where I live, it isn't. It's seen as a limiting belief based on sexist attitudes towards what's expected of men vs what's expected of women. People are willing to call limiting beliefs out. Again, different cultures.

What you see as normal behaviour, I see as sexist. Maybe you and your buddies should have a discussion about WHY it's ok for women to live at home, and not men? I'd be curious to hear the underlying beliefs there.

Remember, it used to be completely true and normal in the US for women not to be allowed to vote. It wasn't until people started questioning this belief that change started to happen. Something to think about.

[Easye418]

Easye: it's true that is issue depends on culture. And time period. In NE China, and wherever you're from, maybe this type of belief is still the norm. But where I live, it isn't. It's seen as a limiting belief based on sexist attitudes towards what's expected of men vs what's expected of women. People are willing to call limiting beliefs out. Again, different cultures.

What you see as normal behaviour, I see as sexist. Maybe you and your buddies should have a discussion about WHY it's ok for women to live at home, and not men? I'd be curious to hear the underlying beliefs there.

Remember, it used to be completely true and normal in the US for women not to be allowed to vote. It wasn't until people started questioning this belief that change started to happen. Something to think about.

I've chosen to remove what I responded with.  Not worth debating opinions.  This thread doesn't need to continue honestly.  I am moving on.