Author Topic: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff  (Read 3580 times)

kfire20

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Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« on: January 05, 2016, 09:53:28 AM »
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« Last Edit: March 01, 2016, 10:13:58 PM by k20 »

matchewed

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Re: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2016, 09:56:36 AM »
Give away the valueless stuff; charity...etc.

Sell the stuff with cash value.

Depending on the overall value of the stuff it may or may not be worth it to rent storage space to contain said stuff. Run the numbers.

therethere

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Re: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2016, 09:59:27 AM »
Depends on what terms you are with the ex-wife. If its even remotely amicable and its not of much value I'd offer her the stuff first for whatever she would want to keep. Sell anything of value. Dump the rest. Its just stuff and you don't seem to particularly care about it. You've gone 7 months without it already. Start life anew!

Wow that sounds so freeing.

AZDude

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Re: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2016, 10:03:01 AM »
Just quickly go through the stuff in the cabin and donate it, sell it, or give it away. For the house the ex is living in, that is tough to know. Depending on your relationship and how the dissolution went, you could go over there and take what you want, or you could just say "fuck it" and pretend like it no longer exists.

pbkmaine

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Re: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2016, 10:08:37 AM »
What have you missed in the past 7 months? Take those things only. If there are photos or papers you need or want, scan them and make sure you have a backup in the cloud. (I use Carbonite.) Ask ex what she would prefer for everything else. She might want to keep, or she might want you to haul away. The stuff you haul away, donate, consign or sell.

frugaldrummer

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Re: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2016, 01:33:25 PM »
Sorry to hear about your divorce.

From my time in an active support group for people trying to save their marriages, and given the typical stories I've heard:
 - spouses who leave due to affairs or Midlife Crisis of some sort tend to leave all their stuff behind, then show up 2-3 years later angry that their stuff has been disposed of.  I think you're a little too early in this process to be quite sure what you will or won't want  (and once you DO get a place it can really add up buying furniture and other misc household items).   If you have things of real value (tools, for instance) ask your ex if they would be willing to store them for you temporarily, and go box them all up neatly with your name on them.  Take things of sentimental value EVEN if you don't think you'll want them - you may feel differently in a year or two.

But DON'T get sucked into renting storage unless you believe it will be very short-term and the items you are storing are valuable.

That being said, when my ex and I split (due to HIS midlife crisis and affairs) we quickly sold our house and I moved in with my mom in a very small house.  I I left behind most of the artwork (because I didn't want to look at them in a new house and be reminded of my ex - most were things we had acquired together that were meaningful to us - I still don't regret that decision, I definitely wouldn't want to be reminded of my ex on a daily basis).  I didn't take any furniture except for a table and chairs and a carved wooden chest that I loved - but most of our furniture was ratty and child-worn by that time so I didn't much mind that. I did take most of the kitchen items and have used them in my new house (which I bought 2 years later).

I like the idea of taking things that are clearly yours, and selling the excess in a garage sale or on eBay - just make sure you aren't selling items that your ex could debate belonged to them.

TrMama

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Re: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2016, 04:17:44 PM »
Option 1 seems like a shitty thing to do to your former spouse. I'd be livid if my DH moved away and left all his crap for me to deal with. It's no less work for her to deal with than it is for you.

If you're on good terms, can you go over, toss the valueless stuff and sell the remainder from the matrimonial home? Advertise the sale as an estate sale and have all the goods in the driveway, or front room of the house, for people to go through. Call a junk disposal guy to haul away whatever is left over.

hdatontodo

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Re: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2016, 07:54:23 PM »
I have 8 years of stuff and haven't moved out yet. I moved my dresser clothes etc into my study and my other stuff into the garage in Rubbermaid containers. I also cleaned up the garage, crawl space,  and laundry room, tossing lots of junk.

kfire20

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Re: Advice requested on 25 yrs. of stuff
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2016, 11:31:13 AM »
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« Last Edit: November 21, 2016, 11:24:27 AM by kfire20 »