I think people focused on "fair" because that's what the OP asked.
And while some couples happily do one working partner and on SAH, it is "fair" for them because they presumably came to that decision together and were both on board. If one partner simply said, "Hey, I'm dropping out of the workforce [or never joining it]" and I don't really care what your input is on that, then it would no longer be "fair".
So the situations you presented, Sol, are not really comparable to the OP's. If he's have said he wanted to quit and his wife had said, "cool. See you tomorrow after work", then that would be more akin to your grandpa's situation, and to the "whole generations of working men," who, in almost all cases, wanted that arrangement as much as their wives did, or at the very least agreed with it. But that's not what happened in the OPs life.
So you can paint this to be about gender roles, but I don't think that's accurate.