Author Topic: Insecurity about Low Salary  (Read 11129 times)

2Birds1Stone

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #50 on: January 20, 2019, 03:40:50 AM »
"comparison is thief of joy"

Someone will always make more money, have a nicer house, drive the flashier car, or have a bigger d!ck......

You're doing great in life, until you compare yourself to those doing better than you ;)

My advice is to stop reading WSP and start figuring out what makes YOU happy.

better late

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #51 on: January 20, 2019, 07:32:51 AM »
Thanks for following up. It sounds like you have some good changes coming. When you have a moment, pick up the book “Mindset.”  While you might not be at the top of your earning potential now, I would recommend changing your thinking. You’re not at the top of your earning potential...yet. Time and experience are your friends. I have no doubt that you have the intelligence and desire to get where you want to go. It’s just gonna take more time and work. In the meantime, enjoy yourself a bit. Corporate America is a marathon. You’ll get there, but there are dues to pay.

I was also going to suggest Mindset by Dweck. I think it might really be helpful to you.

Dibdab

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #52 on: January 20, 2019, 06:58:40 PM »
Hey dude, you're doing great making a better world.  But that coming from a warehouse loser who never made more than 40K.  Guys like you make the world go round in which me just a cog.   Keep up the good work!

Beach_Bound

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #53 on: January 21, 2019, 10:01:48 AM »
OP, this is fascinating. You sound very self-aware, but you have no idea how to move forward. That’s an unusual combination. You’ve identified your problem: “much of [your] identity and self-worth is tied to how [you’re] doing relative to others… [you’re a] one-dimensional person.” The issue isn’t really your salary. If you were making $500k per year, do you really think you would feel happy and fulfilled? Or would you just be looking for the next way to get another A on the report card of life? Even your questions about dating seem to come from a place of fulfilling others’ expectations of you, rather than chasing something you actively want.

It seems like you’re using money as a score card in two ways: your salary and your savings. If you can’t earn a huge salary, then you’ll “win” by having a large savings account. Most of us on this forum see money as a tool to be used to maximize happiness. We’re trying to save enough to buy time to spend on things that we enjoy more than working. But you don’t have anything in your life besides work right now. So what is all the money for? I’m not saying you should spend your entire paycheck, but maybe loosen the strings a little and figure out what you enjoy doing. What if you dedicated $100 per month to trying something new? I, an internet stranger (whose opinion is worth what you paid for it), hereby give you permission to spend money on fun. And also on therapy, if you’re open to that.

This also ties into dating. I’d recommend first learning to be happy single. Develop some interests and hobbies. Learn what you like and what you dislike. Think about what traits you’re looking for in a woman, and then think about what type of man that woman would want to date. I’m guessing “big paycheck” wouldn’t be high on her list.

For what it’s worth, I was very high achieving in school and I get the satisfaction of “winning” according to some set of external metrics (on this forum, that metric is usually savings rate). It may help you to create new metrics for yourself so you can “win” in a way that allows you to optimize for happiness. For example, meeting some exercise goal, or learning to cook a new style of food, or play a musical instrument, or volunteer a certain amount of time, or… Diversifying your interests will also make you a more attractive partner.

sayonara

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #54 on: February 11, 2023, 08:22:26 PM »
Hi - I just wanted to commend you on your thoughtful and logical response. That's the way I would want to think about it.

bryan995

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #55 on: February 12, 2023, 09:58:00 AM »
I’m 40. I have a PhD in a biomedical science field from a prestigious university and several publications to my name. I have yet to crack $50k per year. At 25, I was earning $22k per year working in cancer research. I have no real complaints about my life.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Find new friends and a hobby.

Dam, $22k per year for a PhD working on cancer research, what the hell did they pay the janitorial staff?  I guess that just goes to show no one is seriously working on trying to cure cancer, to much money to be made in cancer drugs that just let you live long enough to take more drugs.  That was semi sarcasm.

I didn't have a PhD at 25, just a bachelor's of science in biochem. I made $40k as a postdoc (i.e., new PhD) at the same cancer center 10 years later. There's definitely big money to be made in cancer, but it isn't being made by the researchers.

Correction - isn’t being made by the researchers in academia. Especially post docs.

Scientists in industry with a PhD, multiple years experience, high profile publications etc make 150-300k easy. (Having a 1 or more post doc generally doesn’t count for much).

To the OP. Leave your current firm and job-hop your way to promotions.  New job / promo every 12-18 months.  You’ll get there. Stop comparing yourself to others. Or if you must, compare to everyone. You are still top ~1-3% for your age.

Top 1% in your age bracket is ~205k
https://twitter.com/moneywithkatie/status/1625166428113448967
« Last Edit: February 13, 2023, 12:56:07 PM by bryan995 »

Zikoris

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #56 on: February 12, 2023, 10:37:52 AM »
I feel like an earthy-hippie type partner would be a good match for you. They don't care about your income and also want to live a low-key lifestyle. As a mega crunchy-granola-vegan-hippie myself, I don't judge guys at all on 2/3 of the things you listed. I'd say my three are personality (specifically not being boring), intelligence, character, in that order.

Metalcat

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #57 on: February 12, 2023, 10:44:11 AM »
Hi - I just wanted to commend you on your thoughtful and logical response. That's the way I would want to think about it.

Just curious, what's up with the necroposting?

clarkfan1979

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #58 on: February 12, 2023, 02:52:54 PM »
If you have $95K/year salary + $15K/year for benefits, you are making $110K/year of total compensation. If you are working 75 hours/week for 50 weeks a year, you are making $29/hour in NYC. I actually agree with you that you have a low hourly wage relative to living in NYC.

As others have said, moving to Chicago should help with lowering the cost of living.

Is working 75 hours/week sustainable? What is your next move? What do you want to do in life? A 75 hour/week job is going to be a much bigger barrier to a happy life than a slightly lower salary. I'm not sure if I have met anyone with a significantly higher salary in which I would want to switch places with them. Their high paying job is typically very demanding and negatively impacts their personal life.

My salary is $57K/year ($82K/year with benefits). I teach college 32 weeks/year. I get 20 weeks of vacation. I work about 1,000 hours/year. My wife works 15 hours/week. She probably averages about 500 hours/year of work. We work another 200 hours/year self-managing 3 rentals (4 doors).  We live in a medium cost of living area, about 2 hours south of Denver.

For 2023, I am measuring success with 40 days of snowboarding, 40 days of golf and 40 days of surfing. The last two years we have averaged 2 months of vacation in Hawaii at one of our rentals. Life is good.

What is a good life for you? Everyone is different.

 


 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!