Author Topic: Insecurity about Low Salary  (Read 9288 times)

2Birds1Stone

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #50 on: January 20, 2019, 03:40:50 AM »
"comparison is thief of joy"

Someone will always make more money, have a nicer house, drive the flashier car, or have a bigger d!ck......

You're doing great in life, until you compare yourself to those doing better than you ;)

My advice is to stop reading WSP and start figuring out what makes YOU happy.

Malcat

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #51 on: January 20, 2019, 05:46:52 AM »
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« Last Edit: November 06, 2022, 06:47:59 PM by Malcat »

better late

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #52 on: January 20, 2019, 07:32:51 AM »
Thanks for following up. It sounds like you have some good changes coming. When you have a moment, pick up the book “Mindset.”  While you might not be at the top of your earning potential now, I would recommend changing your thinking. You’re not at the top of your earning potential...yet. Time and experience are your friends. I have no doubt that you have the intelligence and desire to get where you want to go. It’s just gonna take more time and work. In the meantime, enjoy yourself a bit. Corporate America is a marathon. You’ll get there, but there are dues to pay.

I was also going to suggest Mindset by Dweck. I think it might really be helpful to you.

Dibdab

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #53 on: January 20, 2019, 06:58:40 PM »
Hey dude, you're doing great making a better world.  But that coming from a warehouse loser who never made more than 40K.  Guys like you make the world go round in which me just a cog.   Keep up the good work!

Beach_Bound

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Re: Insecurity about Low Salary
« Reply #54 on: January 21, 2019, 10:01:48 AM »
OP, this is fascinating. You sound very self-aware, but you have no idea how to move forward. That’s an unusual combination. You’ve identified your problem: “much of [your] identity and self-worth is tied to how [you’re] doing relative to others… [you’re a] one-dimensional person.” The issue isn’t really your salary. If you were making $500k per year, do you really think you would feel happy and fulfilled? Or would you just be looking for the next way to get another A on the report card of life? Even your questions about dating seem to come from a place of fulfilling others’ expectations of you, rather than chasing something you actively want.

It seems like you’re using money as a score card in two ways: your salary and your savings. If you can’t earn a huge salary, then you’ll “win” by having a large savings account. Most of us on this forum see money as a tool to be used to maximize happiness. We’re trying to save enough to buy time to spend on things that we enjoy more than working. But you don’t have anything in your life besides work right now. So what is all the money for? I’m not saying you should spend your entire paycheck, but maybe loosen the strings a little and figure out what you enjoy doing. What if you dedicated $100 per month to trying something new? I, an internet stranger (whose opinion is worth what you paid for it), hereby give you permission to spend money on fun. And also on therapy, if you’re open to that.

This also ties into dating. I’d recommend first learning to be happy single. Develop some interests and hobbies. Learn what you like and what you dislike. Think about what traits you’re looking for in a woman, and then think about what type of man that woman would want to date. I’m guessing “big paycheck” wouldn’t be high on her list.

For what it’s worth, I was very high achieving in school and I get the satisfaction of “winning” according to some set of external metrics (on this forum, that metric is usually savings rate). It may help you to create new metrics for yourself so you can “win” in a way that allows you to optimize for happiness. For example, meeting some exercise goal, or learning to cook a new style of food, or play a musical instrument, or volunteer a certain amount of time, or… Diversifying your interests will also make you a more attractive partner.