These are excellent questions!
Regarding when to count your additional compensation as "income", that's an interesting one. You don't actually own the stock yet, you merely own an option to purchase stock. This option may expire... So while the value of the option is the value of the stocks you can purchase at a given moment, you don't truly own anything yet... (the IRS agrees too, which is why they usually don't tax you until you exercise the options).
I am inclined to say you should count them the instant that they vest, since you are putting them in your net worth column then too. If something arrives on your balance sheet as an asset, it must also arrive as income somehow too. This is what double-entry accounting is all about... to make sure that situations such as this - creating an asset without accounting for how it got there - do not occur.
Note that this is not yet "taxable income", so it won't match your annual IRS numbers, but that's just what makes this such a good question. :)
Regarding Tax Refunds, it's important to talk about Income and Cash Flow. Income is counted when you earn something, and Cash Flow is when you actually receive the cash for it.
In particular, this is important because a tax refund is not income! You already counted your income for last year (the total gross wages from your job, say). The Tax Refund was not additional income, it was merely a return of a quantity of cash, owned by you, that they held onto for you. (how generous of the IRS! :) ). In this vein, technically speaking, your "net worth" does not increase upon receiving a tax refund.
That being said, most of us don't keep our books quite accurate enough to account for this, and so we "cheat" a little bit by focusing on cash flow (when the physical dollars enter our bank accounts) and calling it income. Thus, each time you get a refund, there is an increase in your tracked account balances, so it looks like income.
If this is the case for you, that you operate more of a cash flow tracking system, then I will recommend counting Tax Refunds as part of the cash flow of the year they arrive in your bank accounts, because it's easier. You're probably already doing that for other things (e.g. food purchased December 31st was last year's expense, but it didn't charge until January 4th...), and it makes sense to keep following the same pattern.
It's less 'accurate', but it's far easier. As long as you remember that your are making that call, then it's OK.
Hopefully this helped answer your questions. And congrats on such a great year!
~ DaftShadow