I just posted regarding my father in law, this one is a related but more complex issue.
My brother in law (47) has never held a steady job. From what I know, he was a misfit Goth kid back in the day. He was badly bullied in school (in the 80s, people were perhaps less tolerant of kids who were different), dropped out of school but eventually got a GED. He is a fairly talented photographer and makeup artist and from time to time would pick up a few photo gigs or seasonal work at a haunted house, etc. When I met him 14 years ago, he was living with a girlfriend who was a good influence on him. Unfortunately, he fucked that up by cheating. After that, he had a very short train-wreck of a marriage with a girl much younger than him, which ended when she came to her senses and left.
His parents, my in-laws, have being supporting him since forever, and basically fully footing the bill now that he has no wife or girlfriend to mooch off. For a while, he was living in an apartment on their dime. He ended up trashing the place (my husband hauled off 25 bags of soda cans, cigarette butts, and other disgusting trash when he had to vacate). He also has had problems with substance abuse (prescription narcotics) and with suicidal impulses and has been in and out of some treatment programs. As far as I know, he is sober now, although he smokes a lot.
A few years ago, he moved in with his parents and he has been living there ever since. Initially, I thought this could be a better situation since he would have his parents as company and would be less likely to hurt himself. He has shown no interest in trying to find work of any kind, and does nothing to contribute to the household. He used to have a group of friends, who were all kind of oddballs as well, but now he seems to be a total hermit who spends much of the time sleeping. He has been living in their basement, and continued his hoarding/trash accumulating ways. His health is not good, he looks 10 years older than my husband, his older brother. His parents do not seem capable of any type of meaningful intervention, and after so many years of declining to intervene, it is probably too late. My husband has made attempts to help and reach out to him, including trying to support him financially to pursue his photography, but nothing ever seems to take.
He is clearly mentally ill in some way, and it is unfortunate that there was no intervention years ago. My concern is that my husband and I will eventually have to take responsibility for him, as the parents are getting older and will not be able to deal with him forever. I am worried that we will have to step in. There is no way I would allow him to live with us, but the prospect of paying his rent and bills, particularly medical bills, is daunting. But it would not be right to abandon him to homelessness or worse. I don't think he has worked enough to qualify for any sort of Social Security benefit.
His parents are secure financially and will probably leave some inheritance, in addition to their house. Is there a way to set up a trust to support my brother in laws basic needs when they are gone?
I'd appreciate any advice on how to manage this sad situation in a way that minimizes our financial risk. We are in pretty good shape and have worked to get there, and I am afraid to put that at risk. Thank you!