Author Topic: i think im depressed  (Read 4418 times)

mohawkbrah

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 272
  • Age: 23
  • Location: Herefordshire, UK
  • every day they see me hustling those pennies away
i think im depressed
« on: October 29, 2017, 11:40:35 PM »
Working in a full time job i hate, feel like im wasting my life.

I have no employable skills really, I just want to quit. Every morning i wake up i cry a little in my head

dreams_and_discoveries

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 929
  • Location: London, UK
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2017, 01:09:58 AM »
Hi there,

Yes afraid I agree, you do sound a bit depressed - have you been to see the doctor to get the diagnosis confirmed and get help?

Once you've got that sorted, we can help on the happiness and employable skills part.

What do you love doing in your free time? Is there any sort of dream job that you are attracted to?

marty998

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6315
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2017, 01:26:49 AM »
I remember you posting about feeling trapped in your job a couple of months ago. Sad to hear you still feel the same now.

You might benefit from setting some career goals, you've mentioned earlier that you don't have a lot of interests... can you start by telling us what you do enjoy? You'd be surprised where curiosity and a small amount of application can take you.

expatartist

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1707
  • Location: The Big Lychee
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2017, 01:42:02 AM »
OP, acknowledging you're depressed is the first step. For many in the northern hemisphere, this can be a difficult time of year: days growing shorter and corresponding lack of light can be real contributors to depression for many of us, or perhaps your struggles go much deeper. The NHS can be a challenge to navigate but I urge you to consult a professional for help in getting through this.

Linea_Norway

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5211
  • Location: Norway
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2017, 03:42:46 AM »
I'm sorry that you feel this way.

It might be that you could find another job, despite the fact that you think you don't have deployable skills. Have you started to look around?

When it comes to (stress related) depression, a lot of it is how you make yourself feel. It can be made better by changing yourself and change the way you look at things. I know this is not an easy task at all and I am working on it myself. In some cases medication can also help feeling better, as others have described above, although I don't have any experience with it.

former player

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4273
  • Location: Avalon
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2017, 04:50:22 AM »
Hey there, sorry to hear you're sad.

If you can, googling "careers advice service Herefordshire" should get you some useful links to start thinking about options for the future.

I would be willing to put money on you having significantly useful skills that could transfer to another job in the same field, a job of a different kind or some further education.  (From what I remember of what you do, I would certainly include "practical, self-starting, adaptable and problem-solving".  There's not a job or employer in the country who wouldn't welcome someone with those attributes.)

EconDiva

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1130
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2017, 07:42:24 AM »
I remember you posting about feeling trapped in your job a couple of months ago. Sad to hear you still feel the same now.

You might benefit from setting some career goals, you've mentioned earlier that you don't have a lot of interests... can you start by telling us what you do enjoy? You'd be surprised where curiosity and a small amount of application can take you.

In regards to the bold....this is a red flag.  If you've been feeling this way for a while and on top of that you can't think of much you even 'like' to do, then please start with a medical professional to see if you truly are depressed or something is going on with you health-wise.  Honestly, this needs sorting out first in order for anything else to fall into place career/job-wise (and personally as well). 

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8820
  • Location: Oregon
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2017, 07:51:34 AM »
Here are the NICE guidelines for depression: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg90/chapter/1-guidance Now, obviously do NOT self diagnose (doctors can look at your whole clinical picture, and need to before a diagnosis), but if this picture seems like it fits you, PLEASE go get help. The two questions they start with are (1.3.1.1): During the last month, have you often been bothered by feeling down, depressed or hopeless? During the last month, have you often been bothered by having little interest or pleasure in doing things? If you answer yes to those, please go see your GP.

Sending you virtual hugs, support, and well wishes.

Dmy0013

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 100
  • Location: Central Canada
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2017, 09:49:17 AM »
Im sure you have employable skills, or can get a job that can help you learn some skills.
Depends where you are in life, current income VS outcome etc.

Trade Jobs are a great way to learn some employable skills and end up with a good wage.

Im a grade 12 Graduate that never finished university.  Im doing pretty good for myself. and I'm sure you can too.

cl_noll

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 72
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Madtown, WI
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2017, 09:52:55 AM »
I feel for you mohawk.  Definitely get in to see your Dr.

It may take a month or two to get in, so in the meantime look for low hanging fruit:

Ask if this is a recurring seasonal affliction. If so, try a light therapy box in the morning.

Check your sleep. Chronic sleep deprivation exacerbates depression.

Clean up your diet, exercise, and get whatever skin-sunlight exposure that you can.

You job may well be draining your life energy and your current state is an adaptive response telling you to change your life, but it might just be depression, or seasonal affective disorder. I don't think we can answer that for you, but don't be afraid to reach out! You'll get through this.

NevermindScrooge

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 98
  • Location: Netherlands
  • At least weird is not boring
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2017, 11:39:52 AM »
Hi Mohawk, so sorry to hear that you're feeling down.

As the others already said, please ask a professional for help. You are not alone, and remember that there are a lot of people who care about you. There is a way out of the darkness, but the thing is that you need to take action yourself. I know you can do it, please keep us posted!

Laura33

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2275
  • Location: Mid-Atlantic
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2017, 11:43:27 AM »
Please go see a doctor, now, as soon as you can make an appointment:

"Depression" does not necessarily mean "sad," "crying all the time," "suicidal," or any of the other stereotypes.  For me, it means "nothing seems to be worth the effort it takes to do it."  It means "gah, my kids are annoying" instead of the bedtime hug being the bright spot of my day.  It means that the only emotion I feel is annoyance, which once in a while pushes its way to anger (if I actually can make myself care enough to get that worked up).  It means, damn, I'm tired and unfocused, and don't really care enough to try to get focused; so instead I'll just be annoyed with myself for failing to get my ass off the couch and focus and do the shit I need to do.

And most insidiously:  it means that I go through my day feeling 100% completely like myself. Until one day, I realize that I haven't felt happy, or relaxed, or intrigued, or joyful, or thankful, or any of the other "good" emotions in literally months.  It is like I am exactly the same me, but you carved off the top half (the happy, productive, engaged, grateful part) and left only the bottom half (the lazy, annoyed, unmotivated, selfish part).  And you know what's even better than that?  Because you feel exactly like you day-in, day-out, your depressed brain convinces you that you are normal, and the problem is the job, or the relationship, or that jackass that just cut you off, or some other -- any other -- external thing that is not you.  And thus the disease perpetuates itself, like a virus, because it is so effective at preventing you from recognizing it as a disease.  And then even when you do, it makes the steps necessary to fix it seem overwhelming and impossible, so why even try?*   

If any of this sounds remotely familiar, you owe it to yourself to at least talk to a doctor.  In many cases -- mine included -- depression is a real, physical thing, with an actual biological cause:  my body does not manage its happy hormones correctly.  As a result, there are actual medications that can turn that switch back on.  You don't have to lie on a couch and talk about your mother -- I mean, sure, you can if you want to, and some people do have real, legit issues that a therapist can help with.  But sometimes your body is just fucked up, and getting your neurotransmitters back in balance rights the ship.

*Me @2 months ago:  Yeah, I pretty much have to be depressed.  But, gah, how do I find a therapist?  I have to look up my medical insurance, figure out what is covered, find a person.  Yeah, they've got a website, but I can't remember my login/password, so I have to find that.  Sigh.  Then how do I know it's someone good?  And they'll probably just tell me that it's my own damn fault, I'm just lazy and selfish and need to get my stupid ass off the couch.  And I have to figure time off work, and kid coverage, and how do I know a client won't have a crisis?  Sit and spin, sit and spin.

How it actually worked:  DH forces me to the computer and sits with me as I look for a therapist.  I remember my password second try.  I determine that I am covered within 1 minute.  I run a search for psychiatrists and find a couple who are within a few miles of me.  Grand total:  5 minutes.  Oh.  Make a few calls, finally get an appointment a few weeks out.  Go to therapist:  surprise, I'm depressed!  And some of my meds are making it worse!  Change meds, get new prescription, within a week feel better -- not cured, but halfway to myself again.  Think "I can't believe I thought this was going to be so fucking hard -- I shoulda done this months ago!"

purple monkey

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 323
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2017, 02:01:59 PM »
Working in a full time job i hate, feel like im wasting my life.

I have no employable skills really, I just want to quit. Every morning i wake up i cry a little in my head

Hope you get some relief soon and can find a few things that bring you joy.

Schaefer Light

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1164
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2017, 10:05:46 AM »
If any of this sounds remotely familiar, you owe it to yourself to at least talk to a doctor.  In many cases -- mine included -- depression is a real, physical thing, with an actual biological cause:  my body does not manage its happy hormones correctly.  As a result, there are actual medications that can turn that switch back on.  You don't have to lie on a couch and talk about your mother -- I mean, sure, you can if you want to, and some people do have real, legit issues that a therapist can help with.  But sometimes your body is just fucked up, and getting your neurotransmitters back in balance rights the ship.

Question.  How does a person know if he needs behavioral therapy or if he needs medication?  I'm seeing a psychologist, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress (though I'm in the middle of something fairly traumatic right now and it's hard to tell if I might be making more progress if I wasn't right in the middle of this situation).  I'm just wondering how many therapy sessions a person should go to before asking for some medical testing that could possibly rule out a biological cause for depression.  It seems like that should be done up front, but my therapist hasn't even mentioned it yet.

Great post, by the way.

LifeHappens

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6530
  • Location: SnowBirdLand
  • Downshifting from 5th to 3rd Gear
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2017, 10:36:41 AM »
If any of this sounds remotely familiar, you owe it to yourself to at least talk to a doctor.  In many cases -- mine included -- depression is a real, physical thing, with an actual biological cause:  my body does not manage its happy hormones correctly.  As a result, there are actual medications that can turn that switch back on.  You don't have to lie on a couch and talk about your mother -- I mean, sure, you can if you want to, and some people do have real, legit issues that a therapist can help with.  But sometimes your body is just fucked up, and getting your neurotransmitters back in balance rights the ship.

Question.  How does a person know if he needs behavioral therapy or if he needs medication?  I'm seeing a psychologist, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress (though I'm in the middle of something fairly traumatic right now and it's hard to tell if I might be making more progress if I wasn't right in the middle of this situation).  I'm just wondering how many therapy sessions a person should go to before asking for some medical testing that could possibly rule out a biological cause for depression.  It seems like that should be done up front, but my therapist hasn't even mentioned it yet.

Great post, by the way.
I suggest going to your GP as soon as possible. Share the same information you've shared here.

Laura33

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2275
  • Location: Mid-Atlantic
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2017, 11:18:29 AM »
If any of this sounds remotely familiar, you owe it to yourself to at least talk to a doctor.  In many cases -- mine included -- depression is a real, physical thing, with an actual biological cause:  my body does not manage its happy hormones correctly.  As a result, there are actual medications that can turn that switch back on.  You don't have to lie on a couch and talk about your mother -- I mean, sure, you can if you want to, and some people do have real, legit issues that a therapist can help with.  But sometimes your body is just fucked up, and getting your neurotransmitters back in balance rights the ship.

Question.  How does a person know if he needs behavioral therapy or if he needs medication?  I'm seeing a psychologist, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress (though I'm in the middle of something fairly traumatic right now and it's hard to tell if I might be making more progress if I wasn't right in the middle of this situation).  I'm just wondering how many therapy sessions a person should go to before asking for some medical testing that could possibly rule out a biological cause for depression.  It seems like that should be done up front, but my therapist hasn't even mentioned it yet.

Great post, by the way.

I would start with a psychiatrist.  It is my understanding that any doctor can offer prescription meds, a psychologist can offer therapy, and a psychiatrist can offer both (because they are an MD with special training).  So you may be expecting something that your therapist literally cannot give you.

For me it was an easy diagnosis, because I went in saying, basically, I have a life that is better than I ever dreamed of as a kid, everything is going objectively well, and I just don't care and am not happy and don't want to do anything but sit on the couch.  I think it is a lot harder when you are actually in the middle of something that gives you a legit reason to be depressed -- in that case, is it a normal response to what you are dealing with, or did the problem reveal a pre-existing underlying issue?  But that is the kind of thing I would think a psychiatrist can tease out best of all, because they have more than just a hammer, so they can actually figure out whether what you have is a nail or not.

Schaefer Light

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1164
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2017, 11:35:02 AM »
If any of this sounds remotely familiar, you owe it to yourself to at least talk to a doctor.  In many cases -- mine included -- depression is a real, physical thing, with an actual biological cause:  my body does not manage its happy hormones correctly.  As a result, there are actual medications that can turn that switch back on.  You don't have to lie on a couch and talk about your mother -- I mean, sure, you can if you want to, and some people do have real, legit issues that a therapist can help with.  But sometimes your body is just fucked up, and getting your neurotransmitters back in balance rights the ship.

Question.  How does a person know if he needs behavioral therapy or if he needs medication?  I'm seeing a psychologist, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress (though I'm in the middle of something fairly traumatic right now and it's hard to tell if I might be making more progress if I wasn't right in the middle of this situation).  I'm just wondering how many therapy sessions a person should go to before asking for some medical testing that could possibly rule out a biological cause for depression.  It seems like that should be done up front, but my therapist hasn't even mentioned it yet.

Great post, by the way.

I would start with a psychiatrist.  It is my understanding that any doctor can offer prescription meds, a psychologist can offer therapy, and a psychiatrist can offer both (because they are an MD with special training).  So you may be expecting something that your therapist literally cannot give you.

For me it was an easy diagnosis, because I went in saying, basically, I have a life that is better than I ever dreamed of as a kid, everything is going objectively well, and I just don't care and am not happy and don't want to do anything but sit on the couch.  I think it is a lot harder when you are actually in the middle of something that gives you a legit reason to be depressed -- in that case, is it a normal response to what you are dealing with, or did the problem reveal a pre-existing underlying issue?  But that is the kind of thing I would think a psychiatrist can tease out best of all, because they have more than just a hammer, so they can actually figure out whether what you have is a nail or not.

That's the tricky part for me.  I was depressed before this life event (separation/most likely leading to divorce) happened.  In fact, I feel like my inability to cope with the depression was the major factor which caused the separation.  Now I'm feeling even more depressed, but the level of depression I'm feeling might be perfectly normal for someone in my situation.  I don't know how one could go through this and not feel depressed.  My concern is that even when the cloud of separation/divorce has lifted I'm still going to be depressed like I was before this all happened.  I'm going to ask my psychologist what he would do if he was in my shoes the next time I see him.

Cwadda

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2182
  • Age: 25
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2017, 11:43:57 AM »
If any of this sounds remotely familiar, you owe it to yourself to at least talk to a doctor.  In many cases -- mine included -- depression is a real, physical thing, with an actual biological cause:  my body does not manage its happy hormones correctly.  As a result, there are actual medications that can turn that switch back on.  You don't have to lie on a couch and talk about your mother -- I mean, sure, you can if you want to, and some people do have real, legit issues that a therapist can help with.  But sometimes your body is just fucked up, and getting your neurotransmitters back in balance rights the ship.

Question.  How does a person know if he needs behavioral therapy or if he needs medication?  I'm seeing a psychologist, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress (though I'm in the middle of something fairly traumatic right now and it's hard to tell if I might be making more progress if I wasn't right in the middle of this situation).  I'm just wondering how many therapy sessions a person should go to before asking for some medical testing that could possibly rule out a biological cause for depression.  It seems like that should be done up front, but my therapist hasn't even mentioned it yet.

Great post, by the way.

I'm of the belief that therapy should be the first step, and medication should be a last resort.  Which isn't to say medications are a bad thing; they work wonders.  But I think simply talking about things can do a world of good before medicines are even considered.

If one has reason to believe there is an organic root of their depression, medications are definitely the way to go.  I.e. if you have a family history of mental health issues. You could ask your therapist to go through a "checklist" of things that point toward organic susceptibility.

Schaefer Light

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1164
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2017, 05:55:34 AM »
If any of this sounds remotely familiar, you owe it to yourself to at least talk to a doctor.  In many cases -- mine included -- depression is a real, physical thing, with an actual biological cause:  my body does not manage its happy hormones correctly.  As a result, there are actual medications that can turn that switch back on.  You don't have to lie on a couch and talk about your mother -- I mean, sure, you can if you want to, and some people do have real, legit issues that a therapist can help with.  But sometimes your body is just fucked up, and getting your neurotransmitters back in balance rights the ship.

Question.  How does a person know if he needs behavioral therapy or if he needs medication?  I'm seeing a psychologist, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress (though I'm in the middle of something fairly traumatic right now and it's hard to tell if I might be making more progress if I wasn't right in the middle of this situation).  I'm just wondering how many therapy sessions a person should go to before asking for some medical testing that could possibly rule out a biological cause for depression.  It seems like that should be done up front, but my therapist hasn't even mentioned it yet.

Great post, by the way.

I'm of the belief that therapy should be the first step, and medication should be a last resort.  Which isn't to say medications are a bad thing; they work wonders.  But I think simply talking about things can do a world of good before medicines are even considered.

If one has reason to believe there is an organic root of their depression, medications are definitely the way to go.  I.e. if you have a family history of mental health issues. You could ask your therapist to go through a "checklist" of things that point toward organic susceptibility.

I tend to agree about medication being a last resort, but at the same time I'd hate to spend a lot of money on therapy only to find out that some chemical/biological/genetics issue was the root cause.  I know I have at least one blood relative suffering from depression, and I strongly suspect that there's a second one who would also be considered clinically depressed.

Abe

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1261
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #19 on: November 04, 2017, 09:39:55 PM »
As a person who's suffered from major depression in the past, and have several family members who are psychiatrists, I can provide some advice.

It is important to undergo therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the most effective for mood disorders. It is more than "talking about problems" as people imagine therapy to be, but a technique for re-training one's mind to overcome the obsessive thoughts that underlie a lot of major depression episodes. It is generally more effective with medications, since major depression is a organic disorder like any other medical disorder. So it's not a "last resort" but a well established part of psychiatric care. just like there should be no stigma associated with taking antibiotics for an infection, or blood pressure medicine for high blood pressure, there shouldn't be a stigma with taking an anti-depressant for major depression.

In summary, OP, I recommend you see your primary physician so they can get you in touch with a psychiatrist who is trained in CBT and provide comprehensive psychiatric care with appropriate medications.

BTDretire

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2579
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #20 on: November 05, 2017, 06:38:57 AM »
Hi Mohawk, so sorry to hear that you're feeling down.

As the others already said, please ask a professional for help. You are not alone, and remember that there are a lot of people who care about you. There is a way out of the darkness, but the thing is that you need to take action yourself. I know you can do it, please keep us posted!

 Good points made by NMScrooge, nothing changes unless you take action to change it.
It may seem difficult to do because of the way you feel, but you need to take the action.
 We'll be here as you clear the funk.

Nederstash

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 346
Re: i think im depressed
« Reply #21 on: November 05, 2017, 01:00:39 PM »
I agree with the other replies: see your GP and ask to be referred to a psychiatrist/psychologist! I'm currently in therapy as well and I've stated antidepressants. It still amazes me how many people around me use antidepressants - I would've never known it by looking at them. It's taught me that depression is widespread, very serious, but very treatable as well! Therapy will work wonders and if you need meds... don't be ashamed, it's a medicine!

Best of luck to you!