Author Topic: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out  (Read 2860 times)

ETBen

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 405
    • I started a journal about single parenting and the new life towards FIRE
I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« on: June 17, 2016, 06:46:48 AM »
Really. Tell me how I'm wasting money!  I used to think I've been eating out bc of being tired and not preparing well. But I realized that's not it bc I am actually preparing and such now. I think the problem is it feels lonely. It's just me now many nights. Half the time it's me and the two boys. We were always an "eat at the table" family. But in both cases I still feel like cooking and eating isn't the event it used to be or I'm a little lonely.

I love to cook and I'm a good cook. But I don't get the warm fuzzies anymore about it. I have a great kitchen, fresh herbs. I eat out all of the time now.

aperture

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 466
  • Location: Colorado
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2016, 06:59:07 AM »
If eating out is what you value - do it.  You can still make good $ choices like drinking water and choosing large appetizers for a meal etc.  My wife values restaurants and drinks with friends and we built that into her discretionary budget.  No big deal.  -Ap

ETBen

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 405
    • I started a journal about single parenting and the new life towards FIRE
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2016, 07:34:08 AM »
If eating out is what you value - do it.  You can still make good $ choices like drinking water and choosing large appetizers for a meal etc.  My wife values restaurants and drinks with friends and we built that into her discretionary budget.  No big deal.  -Ap

I do but this is becoming a daily thing!  I compensate with less groceries and it's not all expensive. But still.

It's funny bc I wrote my post while at breakfast. And I just got home and realize I left my other half of the meal on the table in the box. So I didn't even remember to bring it home!  What a waste!!

Ceridwen

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 237
  • Location: Canada
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2016, 07:35:34 AM »
How about cooking with your boys? Teach them some valuable life skills and enjoy their company preparing a nice meal together.  You can even spend time exploring new recipe ideas and give them the chance to set the menu.

boarder42

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7849
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2016, 07:37:57 AM »
cooking for one isnt as rewarding as cooking for 2 no way around that.  invite a friend over ... find a circle of others who are single and bounce from house to house on every night while the owner cooks for everyone.

HappyHoya

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 134
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #5 on: June 17, 2016, 07:54:14 AM »
First address the loneliness. Eating out might be one way of dealing sign that, and it's fine, but it probably won't solve the problem. Is it that you don't get to see people you care about or do you want to meet more people? Different solutions for different issues, but both can be addressed. In the meantime--what about picnicking in a public park, joining a supper club, or having friends over?

ETBen

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 405
    • I started a journal about single parenting and the new life towards FIRE
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #6 on: June 17, 2016, 07:57:27 AM »
All really good ideas!  Thanks, I'll start thinking about them.  I did consider that I need to join a social group too. Partly b/c most of my friends have kids but are also still married.  So on night I don't have the kids, they are still in family-mode. 

HappyHoya

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 134
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #7 on: June 17, 2016, 08:41:32 AM »
All really good ideas!  Thanks, I'll start thinking about them.  I did consider that I need to join a social group too. Partly b/c most of my friends have kids but are also still married.  So on night I don't have the kids, they are still in family-mode.

If it's just you, you have so many options! I see tons of groups on meetup in my area for "singles" that are explicitly not about dating but are just cool group activities designed to meet people. There are cooking classes, supper clubs, active meet ups, and book clubs. If you don't find anything to suit you, you can also start one!

In the alternative, if you're a homebody, have you considered getting a pet? I know it's not for everyone but my dogs are a huge grounding force in my family's life and they definitely create opportunities for socializing and community and incentivize healthy, money saving behaviors. Going for a sunset walk or hike and having a quick simple dinner of a protein bar or shake can be a nice break from routine and always makes me feel better.

SimplyMarvie

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 217
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #8 on: June 17, 2016, 10:50:28 AM »
Let yourself buy whatever sounds good and tastes good in the grocery store -- for us, tight control on the grocery budget tends to backfire into more eating out. Whereas if I splurge on nice fish, steak, or ingredients for a fun recipe, I'm excited to cook and eat at home because I still feel like I'm being treated and cared for. And even the most expensive butcher-cut steak is cheaper than dinner in a steakhouse, you know?

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6541
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #9 on: June 17, 2016, 10:59:44 AM »
All really good ideas!  Thanks, I'll start thinking about them.  I did consider that I need to join a social group too. Partly b/c most of my friends have kids but are also still married.  So on night I don't have the kids, they are still in family-mode.
Mmm. yeah, that's tough.  Are your non-kid nights normal?  Same nights?

if so, I'd cook with the kids, but make sure you have leftovers for the non-kid nights.  So you will have food to eat quickly, and won't have to go through the "trouble" of cooking for one.  (I never used to cook for one, and barely cooked for me and 1 kid when my husband traveled.  I do cook for me + 2 when husband travels).

And then...find something to do on those nights.  Pre-kid days, it was potlucks, or volleyball, or walks, or bike rides.  Play a sport, go for a hike, find a book club.  Take a class.

MsPeacock

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1517
  • Location: High COL
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2016, 12:01:55 PM »
I am in the same boat (two kids, split custody). I like to cook things that they won't eat when they are with me. Spicy Indian food, for instance. I have the leftovers for lunches.  It is a big adjustment when you get divorced. Also consider making plans to see your friends on those nights when you are in your own. Most of my friends are married, but with some planning we can get together either out for a bite or at my house to catch up. It also helped me to get a dog a few years ago for company, and because she gets me out and walking (and socializing with other neighborhood dog owners)

Lastly I found it helpful to have some convince foods around when I just couldn't manage anything else. A couple frozen dinners that I like ok, etc. I don't think eating out is the end of the world when you are going through a major life shake-up.

ETBen

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 405
    • I started a journal about single parenting and the new life towards FIRE
Re: I need a swift punch or kick about eating out
« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2016, 08:38:36 PM »
This is all helpful, thanks.  I think I will, stick to easier meals on kids nights.  I started having them plan the menu and do the shopping anyway.  For my alone nights it might help yo make nice meals for myself, the things they wouldn't appreciate.  And I really do need to find a social group.  Maybe start with some special meals for me, then work on that. 

I had somemcupcakes from work some invited the neighbors out for a glass of wine while the kids all played and ate cupcakes.  And then I had to arrange all the food for a day trip tomorrow with a friend and our four kids. As tiring as that is in the evening, I get such joy out of preparing 8 sandwiches, 2 salads, snacks, sides, and dinner for all of us.