Author Topic: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?  (Read 3024 times)

jmechanical

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I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« on: February 11, 2021, 11:55:30 AM »
Some background, I'm 32 years old. Live alone. Mechanical Engineer.

I was at the Doctor's office yesterday for my yearly check-up. I finally mentioned to him that physically, I feel fine, but I hate my job and every job I've ever had and don't know what to do. The pandemic hasn't helped because I barely see anyone anymore. If I talk to friends or family, they judge me because on paper my life is great.

My doctor mentioned counseling, but that their office couldn't make referrals.

What type of counseling do I need? I want to get better. I thought financial independence was the answer, but I'm at least 10 years (most likely 15) out on that and don't know if I'm going to make it that long without some help. How would I find if it's covered under health insurance?

I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone I know and my doctor gave me all the info he could, so I thought anonymously asking the community I joined over 5 years ago and trust is the best idea.

Smokystache

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2021, 12:25:53 PM »
Psychologist/former therapist here. Career counseling seems like the best place to start.

I'm biased, but look for someone with a PhD/PsyD in Counseling Psychology (full, biased disclosure: this the degree I have) and they mention that they help people with career concerns. A cornerstone of 'Counseling Psychology' (as opposed to 'clinical psychology') is a focus on vocational/career-related issues. But they can also handle about anything else that may come up (depression, anxiety, purpose in life stuff, etc.).

To be clear, I don't think every person looking for mental health assistance needs to see a psychologist (as opposed to a clinical social worker, licensed professional counselor, etc) - but fewer master's level therapists have more extensive training and experience in career-issues. And when I use the term "career counseling" - I'm not talking about having you take a test or two and then telling you the results (although that may be a part of the process). I'm talking about delving into deeper, purpose-related topics that happen to also have implications for your career decisions. Much more in-depth stuff. At least if they do it right.

Best wishes.

ChpBstrd

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2021, 12:55:28 PM »
@Smokystache gave a great reply.

My 2 cents:

Cent 1: There are a lot of "counselors" out there who are better described as "evangelists" - especially in the Deep South where we live. My POV is that such practitioners don't really help, and merely peddle a sort of generic canned life purpose that might be good enough for some people, but doesn't fit everyone. I would disqualify any counselor who was not 100% secular / scientific minded. Even the appearance of the word "spiritual" on their website is a red flag. Ask if you can have a free interview.

Cent 2: You obviously invested a lot into becoming a Mechanical Engineer. Did you do that because your expectation was different than reality? Because you were doing what other people advised? Are you held back by the sunk costs fallacy? What process factors led to a decision you aren't happy with, and to what extent are they influencing the process now? On a related note, are you reluctant to start over in a new direction because the money would be worse? Has your lifestyle inflated, and is that also why you are unable to FIRE in less than 10-15? I don't know the root cause, but it could be something like letting other people influence career and purchasing decisions, or an initial sunk cost in a too-expensive college.

Free money: FWIW, I'm right there with you. "Work" is one of those four-letter cuss words I mutter when I'm unhappy. I've had varying levels of engagement across my 3 careers, but it's never been enjoyable like some people say of their careers. I've had a couple of jobs I hated - most of which I wish I had left earlier. Expect to earn 50% of what you earn now if you just quit and start over in some other field at the entry level. A better choice might be to pursue a tangental opportunity - teach, engineer a different thing, apply at NASA or Tesla instead of a more boring company, or combine your mechanical engineering knowledge with some new skillset - e.g. acoustics, or robotics software, or being a social media influencer on subjects you know. Do a dozen experiments this year by exploring these tangental areas in various ways (projects, books, prototypes...).

Malcat

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2021, 01:04:45 PM »
The issue is either you, the jobs, or both.

A good counsellor can help you determine what the foundational issue is.

Depending on your jurisdiction, it can be tricky to find good therapy because it's not always regulated in all jurisdictions. As pp said, someone with a PhD in clinical psychology is usually a pretty solid bet.

Start with basic therapy, then if you need specialized career counselling, you can go from there.

SunnyDays

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2021, 03:14:30 PM »
It would be helpful if you could narrow down what it is about working that you hate before you look for counseling.  Is it something about the actual kind of work youíre doing, the work environments youíve been in or the inherent structure of work life?  If you donít like the work itself, you might need help finding other jobs that use your interests and aptitudeís, so an Occupational Psychologist would be useful.  If itís the environments, some type of freelancing might be suitable.  If itís the structure (which was the part I most disliked about working), finding something more flexible or only working part time as an engineer and doing something completely different the rest of the time could help.  Do some deep thinking first or you might go down some blind allies before finding the appropriate assistance.

bacchi

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2021, 04:12:16 PM »
I also hated every job I ever had. If things get bad enough, take a year off and fuck around.

Good luck.

jmechanical

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2021, 05:28:07 PM »
Psychologist/former therapist here. Career counseling seems like the best place to start.

I'm biased, but look for someone with a PhD/PsyD in Counseling Psychology (full, biased disclosure: this the degree I have) and they mention that they help people with career concerns. A cornerstone of 'Counseling Psychology' (as opposed to 'clinical psychology') is a focus on vocational/career-related issues. But they can also handle about anything else that may come up (depression, anxiety, purpose in life stuff, etc.).

To be clear, I don't think every person looking for mental health assistance needs to see a psychologist (as opposed to a clinical social worker, licensed professional counselor, etc) - but fewer master's level therapists have more extensive training and experience in career-issues. And when I use the term "career counseling" - I'm not talking about having you take a test or two and then telling you the results (although that may be a part of the process). I'm talking about delving into deeper, purpose-related topics that happen to also have implications for your career decisions. Much more in-depth stuff. At least if they do it right.

Best wishes.

Thank you.

The issue is either you, the jobs, or both.

A good counsellor can help you determine what the foundational issue is.

Depending on your jurisdiction, it can be tricky to find good therapy because it's not always regulated in all jurisdictions. As pp said, someone with a PhD in clinical psychology is usually a pretty solid bet.

Start with basic therapy, then if you need specialized career counselling, you can go from there.

I like this idea of starting general. Maybe I'm miserable at work because of something else and it's not my job. I don't know. Because it's every job I've ever had (from deli clerk, to machinist, to engineer), I think the issue is definitely me since I'm the common variable in every scenario.

It would be helpful if you could narrow down what it is about working that you hate before you look for counseling.  Is it something about the actual kind of work youíre doing, the work environments youíve been in or the inherent structure of work life?  If you donít like the work itself, you might need help finding other jobs that use your interests and aptitudeís, so an Occupational Psychologist would be useful.  If itís the environments, some type of freelancing might be suitable.  If itís the structure (which was the part I most disliked about working), finding something more flexible or only working part time as an engineer and doing something completely different the rest of the time could help.  Do some deep thinking first or you might go down some blind allies before finding the appropriate assistance.

I appreciate taking the time for input, but I don't think I can find, if not happiness, but at least indifference towards work, through deep thinking on my own. I've always tried to do everything by myself and I think I need to learn to ask for help.

@Smokystache gave a great reply.

My 2 cents:

Cent 1: There are a lot of "counselors" out there who are better described as "evangelists" - especially in the Deep South where we live. My POV is that such practitioners don't really help, and merely peddle a sort of generic canned life purpose that might be good enough for some people, but doesn't fit everyone. I would disqualify any counselor who was not 100% secular / scientific minded. Even the appearance of the word "spiritual" on their website is a red flag. Ask if you can have a free interview.

Cent 2: You obviously invested a lot into becoming a Mechanical Engineer. Did you do that because your expectation was different than reality? Because you were doing what other people advised? Are you held back by the sunk costs fallacy? What process factors led to a decision you aren't happy with, and to what extent are they influencing the process now? On a related note, are you reluctant to start over in a new direction because the money would be worse? Has your lifestyle inflated, and is that also why you are unable to FIRE in less than 10-15? I don't know the root cause, but it could be something like letting other people influence career and purchasing decisions, or an initial sunk cost in a too-expensive college.

Free money: FWIW, I'm right there with you. "Work" is one of those four-letter cuss words I mutter when I'm unhappy. I've had varying levels of engagement across my 3 careers, but it's never been enjoyable like some people say of their careers. I've had a couple of jobs I hated - most of which I wish I had left earlier. Expect to earn 50% of what you earn now if you just quit and start over in some other field at the entry level. A better choice might be to pursue a tangental opportunity - teach, engineer a different thing, apply at NASA or Tesla instead of a more boring company, or combine your mechanical engineering knowledge with some new skillset - e.g. acoustics, or robotics software, or being a social media influencer on subjects you know. Do a dozen experiments this year by exploring these tangental areas in various ways (projects, books, prototypes...).

Yes, I'm concerned about evangelists. Finding God or asking Jesus for help has not worked for me in the past.

A lot of the questions you are asking, I think are great questions, but I don't even know the answer to them or how to figure out the answers on my own. I am hoping by getting help that I will be able to figure out how to answer those questions.

I like my work when I'm developing mechanisms or drawing parts. I really like the 3D programs I use. I like organizing BOMs. I don't like schedules, being late, nebulous goals, office gossip, management pressure. I hate being asked how long something will take since most of the time I don't know the solution because the problem I'm trying to solve has never been done before or there are too many things outside my control.


One of the things I've always fantasized about was in the MMM article It's all about the safety margin where he describes two management styles:

Quote from: MMM
"In my old field of Software Engineering, the same principles applied when estimating how long it would take to develop a big product which took the cooperation of many people to build. Each stage of the project might be estimated to take five days, but in reality it could take between 2-10 days depending on unforeseen hardships in working with the new technology.

The most pointy-haired managers would create what they liked to call ďaggressiveĒ schedules that would assume each stage would get done in 4 days (a brilliant idea often accompanied by the suggestion that we all put in some nice unpaid overtime to accomplish this). Sometimes work would fly along without any problems even on the shortened schedule. But then the inevitable unforeseen hardships would occur, and there would be no slack in the schedule to allow the designers to catch up. This would in turn cause delays and stress, which in turn would compound, causing people to get flustered and create low-quality work that took months to clean upÖ (or sometimes which never got cleaned up and would eventually destroy the company in the form of buggy products.).

Wiser managers with knowledge of the Safety Margin principle would schedule 6-8 days for each component. On average, some would go more quickly. But then the engineers would also have time to solve the problems in the more difficult parts. In the end, everything would be completed just a little bit ahead of schedule, most of the time, leaving everyone feeling good about their jobs and creating a higher quality product as well. Once I learned this trick, I started running my own groupís projects this way, much to the amazement and scorn of the pointyhairs."

If I could just find a company with "Wiser Managers" as MMM put it, I think I could at least be content, but TBH, I'm not sure how to find a job like that or that they really even exist. Every project I've ever worked on seemed to be run in the style as he describes "pointy-haired" My current project was pretty much late and over cost before it even began. I pretty much don't know any engineers who have worked for a "Wiser Manager"

I'm also concerned that even if I do strike gold and work for a "Wiser Manager" that I'd still be unhappy somehow since I've hated jobs that had no project based work (deli clerk/machinist), or I'd be scared of losing it and still feel unhappy.

Thank you everyone for your input. At least having an idea of what type of person to look for and starting to look for help has made me feel slightly better.

lollylegs

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2021, 05:36:45 PM »
 I tend to think if you've been unhappy in every job then its more personal counselling needed rather than careers counselling , explore what happening for you first & then if needed do some careers counselling.

I agree avoid religious 'counsellors' - I don't agree only Phd psychs are suitable - whats more important is finding someone you feel you can be completely honest with, you need to feel safe enough after a few sessions to share your vulnerabilities and that comes down to the personal interaction between you and the therapist. I think seeing someone with a CBT & an ACT focus would be helpful & being screened for depression also.  Sometimes you need to see a few to find one you click with.  Start by making some phone enquires and ask a few questions, if they won't speak with you before an appointment I'd give them a miss. All the best with it.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2021, 09:02:00 PM by lollylegs »

SunnyDays

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2021, 05:37:22 PM »
Okay, so you like the creative aspect of work and need an end goal/product.  And it sounds like you need to have a lot of control over the setting, with low tolerance for BS.  Again, freelancing, if such a thing exists in your line of work?

mozar

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2021, 08:21:59 PM »
It depends how depressed you are. In my old career I was OK with the work but massively struggled with everything else (gossip, etc). I had maybe 7 employers in 10 years?
After the last time I was fired I decided to take a sabbatical. I couldn't find a therapist I clicked with so I read books about PTSD. I pretty much sat around and cried for two years (and read books). After that I started taking baby steps back into employment. I decided to relearn math, then I decided to become a carpenter. I got a job as a carpenter then Covid 19 happened. I decided to go back to relearning math and decided to become a high school math teacher, which I'm working on now.

My best advice is that it's going to take awhile. Not to find the "perfect" job. But to find peace with yourself. It could be you just need to change employers. It could be something much deeper. All you can do is start the journey to self understanding. You'll be glad you did.

Zamboni

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2021, 09:20:29 PM »
Depending upon where you work, many employers offer an "Employee Assistance Program" (EAP) or "Personal Assistance Service" (PAS) or something like this. It's basically a benefit where you can meet with a counselor for free for a limited number of times. My employer offers up to 8 visits "per problem." I've worked at both medium and large employers who offered this, usually through a contractor service, so it's really no different than finding a counselor for yourself except that it is free. I've found it very helpful. Don't worry about your boss finding out: they won't. If your companies offers this, then you should go that route first since it is free and see if they have a person who builds a good rapport with you. These services are also often good at making appropriate referrals after meeting with you a few times.

The other option is to see if your insurance offers "Behavioral Health" coverage. Many plans do. Then you can look for "in network" providers or just bite the bullet and pay more to go out of network for the person who seems to fit your needs best.

Zikoris

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2021, 10:24:26 PM »
One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet - can you speed up your FIRE timeline? I ask that because I'm looking at about a ten year start to finish timeline myself, as a secretary, making way less money than I would assume a mechanical engineer would make. And in my case that was starting from zero dollars. So it seems to me that assuming you a) are not starting from $0 today and b) make a decent salary, you should be able to retire in waaaay less than 15 years if you wanted to.

I think it's worth considering, depending on your exact situation. For example, if you could rejig your spending and retire in three years, you might not want to bother retraining for a totally new career.

Malcat

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2021, 05:13:57 AM »
I tend to think if you've been unhappy in every job then its more personal counselling needed rather than careers counselling , explore what happening for you first & then if needed do some careers counselling.

I agree avoid religious 'counsellors' - I don't agree only Phd psychs are suitable - whats more important is finding someone you feel you can be completely honest with, you need to feel safe enough after a few sessions to share your vulnerabilities and that comes down to the personal interaction between you and the therapist. I think seeing someone with a CBT & an ACT focus would be helpful & being screened for depression also.  Sometimes you need to see a few to find one you click with.  Start by making some phone enquires and ask a few questions, if they won't speak with you before an appointment I'd give them a miss. All the best with it.

To clarify, we never said only PhDs are suitable, we said that they're generally a safe bet when it's unclear what the qualifications of various titles are.

If someone lives where counsellors aren't licensed, then anyone could do an online CBT course and claim expertise, and when there's an absence of licensing, it's difficult to figure out because there's an absence of information. The same way it's incredibly difficult to evaluate if a coach has any real qualifications.

Or if someone lives in a jurisdiction where counsellors are licensed, but religious clergy are eligible for licensing, then it can be very difficult to distinguish who has actual clinical psychology training and who has only evangelical training.

There are tons of great non doctoral level clinical counsellors out there, but for someone who doesn't know the industry, it can be complicated, and for many people, if their first therapist is bad, they'll never go back.

That's why many of us with experience in the field recommend going with the safest bet.

Morning Glory

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2021, 05:49:09 AM »
My brother is a mechanical engineer. He said something once about how you pretty much get stuck in the same role even if you change jobs because that is where your experience is and companies would rather hire a new grad than someone who wants to switch tracks. (e.g. if your first job is quality control it's hard to get hired for anything except quality control). I don't know if this is true everywhere. I'm guessing your job is a bit tedious and is not giving you a sense of meaning or purpose in life.

Are you able to get outside for a walk every day? That helps immensely with mental health. Try to maintain some social connections too, even if it's just texting for now.  Get therapy and medication if you need it.

We are social animals. Sitting alone and looking at a screen all day just isn't good for us, and the pandemic has taken away a lot of the small social encounters we used to have.
Even before the pandemic, we were so scattered and had no sense of community. I've certainly wrestled with feeling guilty about being depressed when my life looks good on paper and so many others have it worse. Don't feel bad about that.

ender

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #14 on: February 12, 2021, 06:53:05 AM »
What parts about your job do you hate?

You mention bosses here. But do you hate the actual work, too?

If you hate the type of work you do, as a mech eng you have a ton of options to do related but different work. If you hate the entire field, it's possible to make a career change (I started in MechEng and now work in software).


One thing I think a lot of folks who find MMM or other FIRE related material miss is that FI and FIRE is a means to an end. But FIRE isn't an endgame that solves all life/motivation/excitement issues. It doesn't mean you should accept your career being miserable. It'll still be work, and not something you want to do (at this point I love my job. I still would love not working 100x more).

The allure of FIRE though can make the entire working career feel like it's only a means to an end.

It's not. It's a major chunk of your life, even if you manage to work "only" 10 years. Spending 20k hours doing something miserable for some end goal sounds insane to me.

I would, and have, taken paycuts to do a job that is more enjoyable even if it extends my FI date.

Can you change companies/subfields in ME entirely? What types of things do you enjoy about your job - can you find a different job more focused on those?

ctuser1

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #15 on: February 12, 2021, 10:16:16 AM »
I like my work when I'm developing mechanisms or drawing parts. I really like the 3D programs I use. I like organizing BOMs. I don't like schedules, being late, nebulous goals, office gossip, management pressure. I hate being asked how long something will take since most of the time I don't know the solution because the problem I'm trying to solve has never been done before or there are too many things outside my control.

There are ways to get better at many of these things. I know, because I DID get better at these from my awkward-geek-with-zero-social-skills-dude persona in college.

e.g. when someone is asking how long something will take, nobody reasonable is expecting you to have complete knowledge of every externalities and give a 100% definitive answer. However, they are expecting you to be an expert in this field who would be correct more often than a total n00b. If you can estimate with some assumptions (and you should, and need to get better at this as you gain more experience in your field) - tell them that AND the assumptions. Else, say something like "I will need to look into X, Y and Z to understand what will really be required. Can we perhaps have an update discussion/call in X days/hours when I should have a better update and maybe even an ETA?".

If you like the core work, but struggle with social skills like many engineers do (and something I know from experience), then you CAN get over it. Counselling could be useful for this. What I have found most useful is to solicit and deliver immediate and honest feedback at work, perhaps from a mentor to start. Once you understand what parts of your communication style or other work related attributes do others find useful/good/bad/frustrating, then you can figure out which parts you need to adapt and work on.


therethere

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #16 on: February 12, 2021, 11:21:30 AM »
My brother is a mechanical engineer. He said something once about how you pretty much get stuck in the same role even if you change jobs because that is where your experience is and companies would rather hire a new grad than someone who wants to switch tracks. (e.g. if your first job is quality control it's hard to get hired for anything except quality control). I don't know if this is true everywhere. I'm guessing your job is a bit tedious and is not giving you a sense of meaning or purpose in life.


Yup. Two engineer household here. It's almost certain you will get pidgeonholed into the industry and specifics your first job. This in turn, typically pigeonholes you into specific regions or cities that holds that specific industry. Unless you go the MBA route and try to move up through management. In my experience, it's difficult to switch out of this, unless you have a network in another industry to recommend you. It's pretty depressing, because it's really hard to see a way "out" of things you don't like at your job or if you simply want a change. I always thought I wanted data-intense jobs where most of the work is solo. So I stayed in that track. Now, WFH for a year with barely any socialization has made me realize I can't mentally handle a job with no personal interaction and only self-driven deadlines. But figuring how to switch out of that is pretty overwhelming when it is the bulk of my 10+ years of experience.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2021, 11:24:27 AM by therethere »

Roadrunner53

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #17 on: February 12, 2021, 01:12:00 PM »
I am curious on what makes you hate every job you have had. I have sure hated jobs I have had but I knew why. For instance, boredom and no opportunity for advancement. Same thing day in and day out. I was excellent at that job but was bored out of my mind. The pay was just okay. Another job I had was also boring but on top of that, I worked with some really nasty, mean people. Then I got my dream job working in R&D in a food company. I was given tons of responsibility, given promotions, given raises, traveled all over the USA and once to Switzerland. People were pretty satisfied there, money was fantastic, projects were interesting and fast paced and extremely busy. Lots of opportunity and they wanted you to go to seminars and if you did, you were given raises and promotions. A few times I said that the seminars were a bit over my head and they always told me if I just picked up one thing, it was worth going. So I did. Every job I have ever had I hated some aspects of it but knew why. Most times there was no way I could fix the problems. I would just go home and vent my anger. It is amazing how one coworker can ruin your whole day. So, I guess my question is do you hate your coworkers, do you hate your boss, hate the work itself, are you good at what you do or could you be better. Do you like to work on teams or alone. Have you ever given thought to what you would like to do if you could? Do you have a hobby that makes you happy and if you could make money at it, would that bring you happiness? How did you become an engineer? Was it your desire or did someone push you in that direction?

Maybe buying a business you would like might make you happy. I saw a local business for sale and thought it might be fun. Not so much for me but a person who might like bike repair and selling bikes. There are lots of businesses for sale.

I also agree with some other poster if you could save enough to retire early. Maybe if you made that your goal to analyze every single penny you spend and save till it hurts. Even get a part time job to save more.

Start with your very first deli job and think about what you hated about it. Maybe you could start a journal and put your thoughts about what you hate about all your jobs, what you like and what would make you happier.

I hope you find what you are looking for!

MudPuppy

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #18 on: February 12, 2021, 01:58:41 PM »
I think itís worth taking stock of what your expectations for your job are. Are they realistic expectations? Could adjusting a mindset help with overall satisfaction?

At my primary job, I donít get paid quite as much as I would with other employers in this area, but the benefits are good and thereís a pension (a unicorn these days!) that Iíve been grandfathered in under. I know Iím ďworthĒ more money but Iíve accepted that if I want x then I have to compromise on y and knowing that keeps me from ruminating on the things the job lacks.

Smokystache

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #19 on: February 12, 2021, 03:20:44 PM »
...I don't agree only Phd psychs are suitable


In some cases, I would agree with you. But I'll mention 2 things:

1) As you likely know, the educational & experience standards to become a licensed psychologist in the US and Australia are different - in some cases significantly different (and I'll admit I don't completely understand all of the differences).

2) Given that a significant part of the OPs challenges are related to career concerns, then I think it would be helpful to have a professional who has had a least one course on career counseling. For example, LCSWs in the US (who are often very good therapists) often would not have a single course on that - whereas Counseling Psychologists would have at least 2 graduate level courses in career cousneling and likely more supervised experience.

I absolutely agree with your advice to "shop around" for a mental health professional with who you feel you connect with and trust. All too often people either stick with a therapist who is a bad fit or stop going but don't try another professional.

jac941

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #20 on: February 12, 2021, 06:24:58 PM »
I want to put in another plug for a good career councilor. I have one that I have seen on and off for around 6 years and through a significant career transition. She is very expensive ($180 / session), but I have only seen her 1-4 sessions at a time every year or two just to keep things shifting and on track. In this time she gave me the guidance I needed to identify what kind of career would be a good fit and how to go about making the career change without a pay cut (I actually make 40% more than in my previous roles with no extra education or certifications needed). I had to do a lot of work on my end too, but her advice, guidance and input have been worth every penny. I donít know if she has any licenses or anything - she was personally recommended by a couple of very successful people who I admired. I would highly recommend reaching out to people who you know who have shifted around careers and who really enjoy what they do to see if theyíve used a career councilor for a recommendation. Once I started asking people satisfied with and  successful in their careers, I realized that very few people landed in their rewarding job without a good mentor or career councilor providing guidance.

I only wish I could find an actual therapist who was as good as my career councilor. I find that most of the therapists Iíve tried are too much talking and provide too few actionable recommendations. Even the CBT therapists.

Malcat

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #21 on: February 13, 2021, 07:35:08 AM »
I want to put in another plug for a good career councilor. I have one that I have seen on and off for around 6 years and through a significant career transition. She is very expensive ($180 / session), but I have only seen her 1-4 sessions at a time every year or two just to keep things shifting and on track. In this time she gave me the guidance I needed to identify what kind of career would be a good fit and how to go about making the career change without a pay cut (I actually make 40% more than in my previous roles with no extra education or certifications needed). I had to do a lot of work on my end too, but her advice, guidance and input have been worth every penny. I donít know if she has any licenses or anything - she was personally recommended by a couple of very successful people who I admired. I would highly recommend reaching out to people who you know who have shifted around careers and who really enjoy what they do to see if theyíve used a career councilor for a recommendation. Once I started asking people satisfied with and  successful in their careers, I realized that very few people landed in their rewarding job without a good mentor or career councilor providing guidance.

I only wish I could find an actual therapist who was as good as my career councilor. I find that most of the therapists Iíve tried are too much talking and provide too few actionable recommendations. Even the CBT therapists.

What you want is probably a really good coach.
Clinical counselling isn't really supposed to provide actionable recommendations. I used to get frustrated by the same thing until I studied to become a clinical counsellor. It's also why I decided I *didn't* want to practice as a clinical counsellor, because I'm very good at telling people what to do, so I prefer working as a subject matter expert advisor, not a therapist.

I see a clinical counsellor when there's something emotional that needs to be processed. I seek out a coach when I already know what I want to accomplish and need an action plan to get it done.

OP sounds like they need a counsellor first, to work through the emotional mud of why they've always hated their jobs, figure out what unmet need is underlying that persistent dissatisfaction, and then dig even deeper to establish how they can meet their actual needs for thriving.

Until they know *why* they've hated every job, they can't possible make responsible decisions as to how to resolve that issue.

Once they know what they need from a career, they can then either switch to or add a career coach, who can help them determine and build the right career for those identified needs. That is, *if* they actually need that service at that point.

Just understanding what they need from a career might be enough to point them in the right direction.

jmechanical

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #22 on: February 14, 2021, 10:34:56 AM »
One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet - can you speed up your FIRE timeline? I ask that because I'm looking at about a ten year start to finish timeline myself, as a secretary, making way less money than I would assume a mechanical engineer would make. And in my case that was starting from zero dollars. So it seems to me that assuming you a) are not starting from $0 today and b) make a decent salary, you should be able to retire in waaaay less than 15 years if you wanted to.

I think it's worth considering, depending on your exact situation. For example, if you could rejig your spending and retire in three years, you might not want to bother retraining for a totally new career.

I also agree with some other poster if you could save enough to retire early. Maybe if you made that your goal to analyze every single penny you spend and save till it hurts. Even get a part time job to save more.

I downloaded the MMM forum case study spreadsheet based on the replies above. According to that I'm at 8.9 years to go. According to my own home made spreadsheet I'm at 15-16 years. I guess I'm naturally very risk averse and/or too conservative in how I estimated things like taxes and health insurance. I haven't dug into the details too much as that case study spreadsheet is pretty elaborate. I think at the very least in 9 years, even if my savings rate drops to zero, I can work in something much lower pay, stress, or hours and let compound interest do it's work, maybe even sooner than that.

I could save till it hurts and probably shrink it down to 5-6 years by cutting down Travel/Vacation, Sports/Recreation, Dining (Lunch/Dinner/Etc.), and Miscellaneous categories to 0-20% of where they are at now. I'm now also considering getting a roommate to bring in extra income. Maybe not being alone all the time would make things easier mentally as well.

I'll consider posting a case study topic in that section of the forum.

jmechanical

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2021, 10:45:15 AM »
My brother is a mechanical engineer. He said something once about how you pretty much get stuck in the same role even if you change jobs because that is where your experience is and companies would rather hire a new grad than someone who wants to switch tracks. (e.g. if your first job is quality control it's hard to get hired for anything except quality control). I don't know if this is true everywhere. I'm guessing your job is a bit tedious and is not giving you a sense of meaning or purpose in life.


Yup. Two engineer household here. It's almost certain you will get pidgeonholed into the industry and specifics your first job. This in turn, typically pigeonholes you into specific regions or cities that holds that specific industry. Unless you go the MBA route and try to move up through management. In my experience, it's difficult to switch out of this, unless you have a network in another industry to recommend you. It's pretty depressing, because it's really hard to see a way "out" of things you don't like at your job or if you simply want a change. I always thought I wanted data-intense jobs where most of the work is solo. So I stayed in that track. Now, WFH for a year with barely any socialization has made me realize I can't mentally handle a job with no personal interaction and only self-driven deadlines. But figuring how to switch out of that is pretty overwhelming when it is the bulk of my 10+ years of experience.

I find it a little amusing that you mention quality control when describing immobility for engineers. I've personally seen colleagues/engineers in my career go from product development engineers to manufacturing engineers to quality control engineers. But never seen any one go in the other direction.

I've always thought manufacturing engineers might have it a little bit easier since the product/problem is often better defined than marketing specs. Might be a grass is greener thing though since I work in product development. I always thought quality control looked awful and if a company ever tried moving me I'd start searching immediately to not get stuck.

Maybe I just think like that because of these Dilberts...

https://dilbert.com/strip/1999-06-22

https://dilbert.com/strip/1999-06-23

https://dilbert.com/strip/1999-06-24

https://dilbert.com/strip/1999-06-25

jac941

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #24 on: February 14, 2021, 11:23:00 AM »
What you want is probably a really good coach.
Clinical counselling isn't really supposed to provide actionable recommendations. I used to get frustrated by the same thing until I studied to become a clinical counsellor. It's also why I decided I *didn't* want to practice as a clinical counsellor, because I'm very good at telling people what to do, so I prefer working as a subject matter expert advisor, not a therapist.

Hmm. Maybe this is the piece Iím missing. I find that working through the emotional stuff is all good and well, but figuring out what life changes I need to make to improve the situation that is causing the emotional distress  is a struggle. Any suggestions on how to find a good life coach?

Back to the original poster, yes, therapy might help determine why emotionally you hate all your jobs. But I would argue that most jobs arenít all that great, just a series of trade offs. If they were all unicorns and rainbows, people would work for free. I personally found that systematically going through things I needed out of a job (money, ability to be present with my family) and things that I wanted out of a job (some mental stimulation, some concrete sense of accomplishment), that I was able to find a career path that is satisfying. I certainly donít ďloveĒ my job - and there are definitely days I hate it. But itís not terrible most of the time, I occasionally get a nice sense of accomplishment, and it helps me support my family. The career councilor was helpful for me setting some realistic expectations and then not compromising on what was really important. Just the process of doing that has greatly improved my job satisfaction. And when my job satisfaction wanes, I know itís time to move on.

Malcat

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #25 on: February 14, 2021, 11:37:02 AM »
What you want is probably a really good coach.
Clinical counselling isn't really supposed to provide actionable recommendations. I used to get frustrated by the same thing until I studied to become a clinical counsellor. It's also why I decided I *didn't* want to practice as a clinical counsellor, because I'm very good at telling people what to do, so I prefer working as a subject matter expert advisor, not a therapist.

Hmm. Maybe this is the piece Iím missing. I find that working through the emotional stuff is all good and well, but figuring out what life changes I need to make to improve the situation that is causing the emotional distress  is a struggle. Any suggestions on how to find a good life coach?

Back to the original poster, yes, therapy might help determine why emotionally you hate all your jobs. But I would argue that most jobs arenít all that great, just a series of trade offs. If they were all unicorns and rainbows, people would work for free. I personally found that systematically going through things I needed out of a job (money, ability to be present with my family) and things that I wanted out of a job (some mental stimulation, some concrete sense of accomplishment), that I was able to find a career path that is satisfying. I certainly donít ďloveĒ my job - and there are definitely days I hate it. But itís not terrible most of the time, I occasionally get a nice sense of accomplishment, and it helps me support my family. The career councilor was helpful for me setting some realistic expectations and then not compromising on what was really important. Just the process of doing that has greatly improved my job satisfaction. And when my job satisfaction wanes, I know itís time to move on.

Re: finding a good coach, sorry, I have no idea. My sister is an executive coach, so I'm networked in that world, but I'm not sure how one would go about finding good coaches. There are a lot of useless, total shit coaches out there.

Re: jobs generally being kind of awful
It is really important to understand why. It's not possible for everyone to find a career they absolutely love, but if one figures out which factors distress them most, it can be a lot easier to avoid them. Once I figured out what really doesn't work for me, finding jobs I can enjoy has been easy because I know what to steer clear of.

Also, like you, I have learned when to move on, because sometimes it's not the job, it's the length of time at the place of work. I generally expect a 4 year max expiry date for any workplace for myself.

Roadrunner53

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #26 on: February 14, 2021, 12:36:43 PM »
jmechanical

You might like this article and responses after the article: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-to-outlast-a-job-you-hate-until-you-can-retire-2018-06-21

Also, don't know your age but be prepared at around age 55 your company offering a package for you to go. Usually a one time offer and if you don't take it, I am sure they will not make your life enjoyable. Jobs are not easy to find in your mid 50's and older. So that is another reason to save like a maniac. I was laid off twice in my 50's. Once due to the facility closing and moving operations to other states. The other was just due to the owner of the company who kind of had a hobby business. He hired and fired often. I was not fired but offered a small package along with 4 other people. This company was always on the verge of financial failure. It is amazing the company is still operating with a staff of about 40 people in this gigantic building that is falling apart due to no maintenance. Pipes bursting, tiles peeling off the floors, a train wreck!


Morning Glory

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #27 on: February 15, 2021, 06:25:25 AM »
My brother is a mechanical engineer. He said something once about how you pretty much get stuck in the same role even if you change jobs because that is where your experience is and companies would rather hire a new grad than someone who wants to switch tracks. (e.g. if your first job is quality control it's hard to get hired for anything except quality control). I don't know if this is true everywhere. I'm guessing your job is a bit tedious and is not giving you a sense of meaning or purpose in life.


Yup. Two engineer household here. It's almost certain you will get pidgeonholed into the industry and specifics your first job. This in turn, typically pigeonholes you into specific regions or cities that holds that specific industry. Unless you go the MBA route and try to move up through management. In my experience, it's difficult to switch out of this, unless you have a network in another industry to recommend you. It's pretty depressing, because it's really hard to see a way "out" of things you don't like at your job or if you simply want a change. I always thought I wanted data-intense jobs where most of the work is solo. So I stayed in that track. Now, WFH for a year with barely any socialization has made me realize I can't mentally handle a job with no personal interaction and only self-driven deadlines. But figuring how to switch out of that is pretty overwhelming when it is the bulk of my 10+ years of experience.

I find it a little amusing that you mention quality control when describing immobility for engineers. I've personally seen colleagues/engineers in my career go from product development engineers to manufacturing engineers to quality control engineers. But never seen any one go in the other direction.

I've always thought manufacturing engineers might have it a little bit easier since the product/problem is often better defined than marketing specs. Might be a grass is greener thing though since I work in product development. I always thought quality control looked awful and if a company ever tried moving me I'd start searching immediately to not get stuck.

Maybe I just think like that because of these Dilberts...

https://dilbert.com/strip/1999-06-22

https://dilbert.com/strip/1999-06-23

https://dilbert.com/strip/1999-06-24

https://dilbert.com/strip/1999-06-25

I used it as an example because it was the most boring thing I could think of. Product development doesn't sound too bad. Do you believe in the product though? Is it contributing any good to society? Is it interesting? Is it in line with your values? Those things are important too.

. I have a relative who did manufacturing but then went the mba route and is quite high up at a mega corp. Another relative has an engineering PhD and was an academic for a long time but now does data science.




mm1970

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #28 on: February 15, 2021, 02:33:24 PM »
Quote
I like my work when I'm developing mechanisms or drawing parts. I really like the 3D programs I use. I like organizing BOMs. I don't like schedules, being late, nebulous goals, office gossip, management pressure. I hate being asked how long something will take since most of the time I don't know the solution because the problem I'm trying to solve has never been done before or there are too many things outside my control.

Yeah, you need new management, and you also need to be able to guess.  I mean, guess, and giver yourself wiggle room on schedules (that is almost literally all I do now, scheduling.  I miss real engineering.)

There are ALWAYS going to be things out of your control.  Get used to that.  The more experience you have, the better you get at solving things that haven't been solved.  I think you need to let go of this idea of being able to control everything?  I was the same way for a long long time.

DizzyDaisies

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #29 on: February 15, 2021, 03:05:08 PM »
Once upon a time, I couldíve written your post. I, too, hated every job I ever had - from waitressing in high school right on up to working full time in the field that I chose to get a degree in. I also figured that the problem must be me as I was the common denominator in the situation and I worked with other people doing the same job who enjoyed it. After many unhappy years, I went back to school for a degree in a new field. I now love my job. Iíve had this job for 2 years and every single day I think about my former career and how thankful I am not to be working in it anymore. I also took a decent pay cut of $12/hr, and I canít find it in me to even care. Iím happy to work some additional years to make up for it.

So it might be you, but it might not.

ETA Not saying you should go back to school. My first degree was in an applied science that really didnít transfer into other jobs. I made sure my new degree was in something that offered a range of opportunities, so I could move around to find a good fit. Turns out I didnít need to. The first job I got was perfect.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2021, 03:32:10 PM by DizzyDaisies »

Notch

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #30 on: February 15, 2021, 03:42:59 PM »
ETA Not saying you should go back to school. My first degree was in an applied science that really didnít transfer into other jobs. I made sure my new degree was in something that offered a range of opportunities, so I could move around to find a good fit. Turns out I didnít need to. The first job I got was perfect.

What is your new job, and what do you love about it?

DizzyDaisies

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #31 on: February 15, 2021, 04:51:39 PM »
ETA Not saying you should go back to school. My first degree was in an applied science that really didnít transfer into other jobs. I made sure my new degree was in something that offered a range of opportunities, so I could move around to find a good fit. Turns out I didnít need to. The first job I got was perfect.

What is your new job, and what do you love about it?

I work in hospital administration. I love healthcare, but was burnt out on patient care.

lutorm

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #32 on: February 16, 2021, 03:31:45 PM »
Have you seen Daniel Pink's TED talk about what motivates people? https://youtu.be/rrkrvAUbU9Y.

Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose. Can you think about what you've hated about your job in that context?

Jobs that fulfill these motivators don't grow on trees, but they do exist and I'd bet that a highly qualified mechanical engineer could find one.

Cassie

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #33 on: February 17, 2021, 09:49:56 AM »
Look for a Vocational Evaluator and if you cannot find one a certified Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor. Although they also work with people with disabilities thereís some in private practice that provide vocational testing and counseling to help you find a appropriate career. It also includes vocational exploration and in-depth discussions about what you enjoy, dislike about work. This actually was my second career and I loved it.  These professionals are best suited for vocational concerns.

HotTubes

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #34 on: February 19, 2021, 11:49:18 AM »
Lots of good advice here but there's just one comment I'd make:  I think it's perfectly normal to dislike the average American corporate job circa 2021.  It might be a sign of sanity.

I've had jobs I've "loved" but then again, not really; I just recall them that way.  Given my druthers, I'd rather not work, and never have worked.  Unfortunately, I have to work, so I try to maximize the good and minimize the bad but I've never really accepted the basic premise and I'm not going to try to force myself to.  I like me.  I like my friends and family.  I like to choose with whom I interact.  I like to follow where my interests lead me. Work? that's a necessary evil.  I've made my peace with it though.

And I have a job that many would describe from the outside as a dream job.

So, good luck with all of this.

Junco

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #35 on: February 19, 2021, 02:03:00 PM »
I like my work when I'm developing mechanisms or drawing parts. I really like the 3D programs I use. I like organizing BOMs. I don't like schedules, being late, nebulous goals, office gossip, management pressure. I hate being asked how long something will take since most of the time I don't know the solution because the problem I'm trying to solve has never been done before or there are too many things outside my control.

I feel the same way as your thread's subject and many of the gripes you listed about jobs here.

One thing that's helped me mentally is starting a side-hustle and trying to grow it into a full-time business for me. The way I approach work as an employee is completely different than the way I approach it as an entrepreneur. As an employee, chasing FIRE was all about ESCAPING as fast as possible so I could be free. As an Entrepreneur, what I've realized is that if I can cover my living expenses by working for myself, I'll get 90% of the benefits of FI without being at "my number" yet. Once I get to FI, I'll have the option of RE, but it won't be a mad dash to the finish because I hate my day-to-day. Entrepeneurship is about creating a life I love in the present with the perfect balance of freedom and work that I enjoy doing. I haven't made the leap to self-employed yet but am working on my business and working to make it a possibility over the next year or two.

You must have a lot of skills as a mechanical engineer. Maybe it's worth starting something as a hobby and see if it sparks anything in you. This podcast may help you: https://www.choosefi.com/listen/rebel-entrepreneur-podcast/

Malcat

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #36 on: February 19, 2021, 02:48:00 PM »
Lots of good advice here but there's just one comment I'd make:  I think it's perfectly normal to dislike the average American corporate job circa 2021.  It might be a sign of sanity.

I've had jobs I've "loved" but then again, not really; I just recall them that way.  Given my druthers, I'd rather not work, and never have worked.  Unfortunately, I have to work, so I try to maximize the good and minimize the bad but I've never really accepted the basic premise and I'm not going to try to force myself to.  I like me.  I like my friends and family.  I like to choose with whom I interact.  I like to follow where my interests lead me. Work? that's a necessary evil.  I've made my peace with it though.

And I have a job that many would describe from the outside as a dream job.

So, good luck with all of this.

I agree with this, but I think that therapy helps either way, because whether it's the jobs or OP, it still comes down to OP making whatever changes they need to in order not to be miserable working.

I hated a lot of jobs, but only once I figured out what I need from a workplace was I able to even find jobs I could enjoy.

And yes, I too have had a "dream job" that people would kill to have, and I still hated it. But that's because I hadn't yet figured out what I needed.

It's normal to hate a lot of jobs, but that doesn't mean someone should be complacent about that.

HotTubes

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #37 on: February 19, 2021, 05:30:01 PM »
Lots of good advice here but there's just one comment I'd make:  I think it's perfectly normal to dislike the average American corporate job circa 2021.  It might be a sign of sanity.

I've had jobs I've "loved" but then again, not really; I just recall them that way.  Given my druthers, I'd rather not work, and never have worked.  Unfortunately, I have to work, so I try to maximize the good and minimize the bad but I've never really accepted the basic premise and I'm not going to try to force myself to.  I like me.  I like my friends and family.  I like to choose with whom I interact.  I like to follow where my interests lead me. Work? that's a necessary evil.  I've made my peace with it though.

And I have a job that many would describe from the outside as a dream job.

So, good luck with all of this.

I agree with this, but I think that therapy helps either way, because whether it's the jobs or OP, it still comes down to OP making whatever changes they need to in order not to be miserable working.

I hated a lot of jobs, but only once I figured out what I need from a workplace was I able to even find jobs I could enjoy.

And yes, I too have had a "dream job" that people would kill to have, and I still hated it. But that's because I hadn't yet figured out what I needed.

It's normal to hate a lot of jobs, but that doesn't mean someone should be complacent about that.


I didn't say that.

norajean

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #38 on: February 20, 2021, 01:24:29 PM »
Just because a physician says someone else would be better qualified to counsel you on personal problems doesnít mean you need any counseling. I know more people who have been screwed up by quack therapists than not. Find a friend to moan with or write up your complaints here. Most people hate their job some or all the time. You are probably perfectly normal.

Frizzle42

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #39 on: February 23, 2021, 07:44:45 PM »
Lots of good advice here. I was in a similar position a few years back, but was able to make it to a career I actually enjoy, so wanted to share in case it's helpful to to have a been-there, life-got-better example.

I was miserable at work, had gone through several jobs and had what I felt was a dead-end college degree. No direction or career goals really, and felt like any where else I would go out would be the same. My hobbies and friends were really the only thing that kept me from genuinely getting suicidal for a while. Looking back on it, good counseling or antidepressants would have been extremely helpful, but I knew enough people who had bad experiences that I was a little terrified of anything counseling-related.

Two things that did help me figure things out:
1. making separate lists of things that I am good at (eg. being obscenely organized, cooking), am bad at (math, keeping a straight face), like doing (helping people, reading books) and don't like (math, anything customer service). then looked for overlapping things that I like doing, am good at, and could be work-related. I also made a completely different list of what I wanted out of a job ($ to live off of and save, enough vacation time to enjoy life, flexibility in location, etc.) Used these to reevaluate what kind of jobs I thought I wanted.

2. volunteered at random places on the weekends to give myself some sense of meaning and purpose, and to try things out. Spent some time at a wildlife rescue and learned that wood ducks are adorable, baby bunnies are precious and fragile, and that I do not belong in any work environment like a vet or hospital because I hate it when things are in pain/die in front of me. Spent some time tutoring ESL at a library and learned that I love teaching, language/culture, and helping people, enough so that I went back to school for it and now teach ESL full time at a school in a super-diverse area.

Going back to school for a major career change may not have been the most mustachian decision (had to take out some student loans) but I am SO much happier now. It isn't all perfect roses and fun, but I could happily work at me current job until I retire, even if that's not as soon as it might be with a higher paying job. A few years ago I thought that was impossible.

I hope that you're able to find some good help, and good luck working through this. Just recognizing that you want things to change is at least a first step.

Roadrunner53

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Re: I hate my job and every job I've ever had. Where can I get help?
« Reply #40 on: February 24, 2021, 04:22:57 AM »
I also think the people you work with is a big factor. At many of my jobs, the thing that made me the most miserable were the over the top people I had to deal with. There was a woman engineer that was so unreasonable, came to work grumpy, would argue with everyone and would not work willingly with anyone unless she was approached by a higher up person to try to reason with her. She met her match when another woman wouldn't take her BS. The woman was eventually fired. Then I had to work hand in hand with a scientist who was from another country originally. Very nice person, but so disorganized it made me crazy. I would ask at the end of the work day what we would be doing the next day to get my head wrapped around what I might expect the next day. Well, I would arrive and this person was a mad man running around doing things that were just unorganized and pretty stressful to jump into his world first thing in the morning. I worked with this person for probably 5 years and it was hell. He was a great person but OMG to work with him was insanity! I worked for another person and he was always telling me I was in my comfort zone. I argued with him that I was good at what I do so why can't I stay in my comfort zone? Not everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder!

One day I was doing an unpleasant task and this woman who was not my manager, and had nothing to do with me, questioned what I was doing and commented it wasn't right way to do it. I just ignored her and continued. She came along again and once again stuck her nose into my business (buttinsky) and I asked her what her problems was. Well, she went running to my manager to report me. I got called into his office to be questioned. What I was doing was a task many of us had done the same way for years. Nothing outrageous at all. Nothing came of it, but some people just have to put their noses where they don't belong.

Most of us just want to go to work, do our job and do it the best that we can and present the results. In the meantime you have to deal with your coworkers, managers, buttinskies. I have had days where I went to work happy and after dealing with certain individuals, I went home crabby and cranky. There are a cast of characters wherever you work. You learn who you can depend on, who you can trust, who you can go to for help, who to stay far away from, who to say as little as possible to.

In my opinion, (some) people can be the reasons to hate your job. I have also worked with great teams and that is what made me the most happiest. Unfortunately, good people leave, retire, take a promotion. Bad people linger on and on.