Ah, I posted before I read all the stuff about not marrying someone with debt. So, just a comment about that ... my husband was even worse than I was with money, but when it came down to fixing our financial situation, he was 100% on board. He's not involved in the financial planning side of things, because I love to do that, but he works his ass off at side hustles so we have the money for our extra payments. His side hustles have paid for all of our loan payoffs and he works hard at it.
Also, if I understand your post correctly, all of your debts are student loans. They're still debts, and should be slayed, but they're not necessarily an indication of rampant spending or skewed values. You said that she has already tamped down her spending, and it doesn't sound like you're buying fancy cars or carrying tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. SLs are a different beast.
So, don't believe the naysayers. If she's a good teammate, marry her!