I have a similar problem. After we worked our butts off at high-pressure, high salary jobs, we decided that time was more precious than money. We saved our money and paid all our debts (a few credit cards, three student loans). Because I love working, we originally thought he'd be a "house spouse" and spend his time taking care of the household. I assumed that would mean frugal, home-cooked meals; mostly spotless house; exercised puppy dogs; fantastic budgeting and banking; and a full social calendar. You know, the kinds of things someone who is completely supported financially can do for someone who works outside the home. Him, not so much. He thought it meant doing his best with the house and working on his hobby 20 hours a week. Not what we agreed on but OK. Then I got fired from my job and we decided he needed to work part-time. So that's when we agreed to each work 30 hours a week. We'd both have more time and it would feel more equal. Now, I work a lower-stress, lower-paying job which pays 75% of the household budget. He takes odd jobs to make up the rest. He keeps telling me that we bring in the same amount and I know it's because he's not factoring in all the big-ticket items that come out of my paycheck automatically, like health insurance. Also, he thinks working 30 hours a week making x amount of dollars is the same as me working 30 hours a week making xxx amount of dollars. It's not that I mind an uneven income situation- I just need it to be clear how much each of us brings to the table so I don't feel taken advantage of. BTW, I should mention that he has been doing the finances because he works less than I do- that was part of our deal. Also, I should mention that I'm a woman raised by a badass mom so I'm very sensitive to being taken advantage of.
I planned to open separate bank accounts- a yours, mine, ours arrangement- so we can say "here's how much we spend monthly, here's how much you contribute". I thought it might give him a reality check and he'd start taking steps to secure a higher-paying job. But, after reading everyone's comments, I think I'll start with a really good budget and keep our shared bank accounts. I'm sure I can give him a much clearer picture of our situation and help us align our goals.