Author Topic: I can't stop checking my balances  (Read 1823 times)

hydra

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
I can't stop checking my balances
« on: March 09, 2021, 04:52:27 PM »
I log onto my brokerage site around 5-10 times a day. It's self-soothing behavior that doesn't actually soothe me most of the time, even when the market is up. Almost anything can trigger me to check my balances: a moment of boredom, a mention of money or economics, etc. I fear that someday I'm going to accidentally display a tab for my brokerage account during an online meeting.

I think checking my balance often was actually a useful thing to do a few years ago when I needed to get accustomed to the ups and downs of the market. Now it has ceased being useful. How do you stop yourself from checking your balances?

On a deeper level, how do you stop yourself from defining yourself by your wealth? I don't want people to think of me as Mrs. Moneybags, and I don't want to think of myself in those terms either. Maybe I just need to meditate, dance, or go for a hike.

Has anyone successfully quit the balance-porn habit?

Malcat

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6939
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2021, 05:00:36 PM »
All compulsive habits have an emotional underpinning. The key is to figure out what that is and process it. Tackling the habit will only accomplish half the job.

hydra

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2021, 05:14:42 PM »

All compulsive habits have an emotional underpinning. The key is to figure out what that is and process it. Tackling the habit will only accomplish half the job.


I buy that. Makes sense. How does one "process" an emotion?  I mean without paying hundreds of dollars to a professional therapist.

Update: Found this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b197XOd9S7U
« Last Edit: March 09, 2021, 05:17:15 PM by hydra »

Papa bear

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1737
  • Location: Ohio
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2021, 05:22:47 PM »
Make your login a ridiculously hard password that is annoying to type in and remember.  Keep it written down somewhere.  But that would keep me from logging in for sure.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

hydra

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2021, 05:28:23 PM »
Make your login a ridiculously hard password that is annoying to type in 

That would definitely work, except the password is remembered by the browsers that I use. I guess I can turn off that feature. Good idea. Thanks!

Frankies Girl

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3574
  • Age: 83
  • Location: The oubliette.
  • Ghouls Just Wanna Have Funds!
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2021, 06:06:14 PM »
I used to do that in the early days.

I eventually became desensitized. I invest only in index mutual funds, and have a rock solid AA with an IPS and did enough reading/questions/research to get a real handle on the way things work and that removed the anxiety part from the equation. I watched and learned how my particular index funds reacted to the market moves and that also helped to lessen the need for multiple check-ins. And the daily stuff does eventually get boring if you're good with how the market works and trust your investment choices (and are doing a lazy index portfolio - which I am).

Knowledge is Power. Educate yourself so you can redirect that obsession into more productive outlets, or if you decide that the reasons for obsessing may be related to the type of investing, maybe reassess your AA, your goals, and your risk/volatility tolerance.

I'd say redirect your anxiety into productive avenues. Feel like checking for the 3 time in 4 hours? Go read a few articles on setting up tax efficient accounts. Review your AA and IPS. Ask some questions you maybe don't know for sure or want clarification on details (taxes are going to always be fun and there are such amazing people on here that are such a help!). Read some more books on the type of investing you are invested in and try to remove the uncertainty/anxiety causing issues.

« Last Edit: March 09, 2021, 06:17:02 PM by Frankies Girl »

Malcat

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6939
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2021, 07:27:56 PM »

All compulsive habits have an emotional underpinning. The key is to figure out what that is and process it. Tackling the habit will only accomplish half the job.


I buy that. Makes sense. How does one "process" an emotion?  I mean without paying hundreds of dollars to a professional therapist.

Update: Found this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b197XOd9S7U

There are tons of resources out there for exploring underlying feelings, modifying compulsive habits, etc. Just start reading and see what resonates with you. Everyone is different.

Any behaviour you engage in that you actively don't want to be engaging in is a major emotional warning sign.
I would start with asking yourself what it is about your net worth that you think you should find reassuring? What is it representing for you? The future possibility of being able to leave your job? Do you dislike your job? If that's it, then this has to do with the dissatisfaction you have in your career. So then the logical next question would be: what is it about your career that isn't satisfying you or how is it causing emotional damage?

You see what I mean?
Don't just accept that you put a lot of value on your net worth, ask yourself why, and the for every answer you give yourself, ask yourself what's behind that answer. Keep digging until you figure out what really matters to you, because it's not actually the net worth, it's whatever the net worth represents to you.

Is it freedom? The consolation prize for the shit you put up with at work, the thing that makes going through all of this garbage "worthwhile"? Is there a certain target you feel you need to reach before you can feel happy? Where did that target number come from? What does it represent? Where did these expectations of yourself come from? Can you identify any memories in your younger days that really solidified what success should look like for you?

Etc, etc, etc

wildatheart

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 31
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2021, 08:46:48 PM »
[
Don't just accept that you put a lot of value on your net worth, ask yourself why, and the for every answer you give yourself, ask yourself what's behind that answer. Keep digging until you figure out what really matters to you, because it's not actually the net worth, it's whatever the net worth represents to you.

Is it freedom? The consolation prize for the shit you put up with at work, the thing that makes going through all of this garbage "worthwhile"? Is there a certain target you feel you need to reach before you can feel happy? Where did that target number come from? What does it represent? Where did these expectations of yourself come from? Can you identify any memories in your younger days that really solidified what success should look like for you?

Etc, etc, etc
[/quote]

I thought this was a great response. I learned from it. Thanks.

hydra

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2021, 12:07:29 AM »
I have plenty of sources of stress and anxiety. Some job related, but mostly not. I think we've already reached our savings goals but aren't retiring yet because we don't want to make any big changes right now, during Covid and various other s---storms going on in our lives (husband's health + my aging parents). Change (even good change like retirement) is stressful, and more stress is not called for at the moment.

Our AA is moderate to conservative (Stock 54% in index funds, Bonds 42%, Cash 4%).

We stayed in our starter home to keep our property taxes low and also because we love it here, and most of our friends are from this neighborhood. Otherwise, our taxes are high, due to high incomes and high-tax state. That said, we don't really stress about taxes. We just shrug and pay 'em.




cool7hand

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 561
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2021, 03:14:23 AM »
I have plenty of sources of stress and anxiety. Some job related, but mostly not. I think we've already reached our savings goals but aren't retiring yet because we don't want to make any big changes right now, during Covid and various other s---storms going on in our lives (husband's health + my aging parents). Change (even good change like retirement) is stressful, and more stress is not called for at the moment.

Our AA is moderate to conservative (Stock 54% in index funds, Bonds 42%, Cash 4%).

We stayed in our starter home to keep our property taxes low and also because we love it here, and most of our friends are from this neighborhood. Otherwise, our taxes are high, due to high incomes and high-tax state. That said, we don't really stress about taxes. We just shrug and pay 'em.

Where in your childhood do you think you learned this behavior? From which parent? Why? Where did that parent learn the behavior? The earlier you look, the more likely you're finding the true source.

And don't sweat it about spending money on this. Mustachianism values life experience over all else, right? So spending money on life experience is your money's best purpose, or at least close to it, right? Imaging all the seconds, of all the minutes, of all the hours, of all the days, of all the weeks, of all the months, of all the years, of all the decades, of the rest of your life enjoyed with more space between your nerouses and your ability to choose your own response to them. F***--there is almost nothing else worth that money!

Malcat

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6939
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2021, 05:25:54 AM »
I have plenty of sources of stress and anxiety. Some job related, but mostly not. I think we've already reached our savings goals but aren't retiring yet because we don't want to make any big changes right now, during Covid and various other s---storms going on in our lives (husband's health + my aging parents). Change (even good change like retirement) is stressful, and more stress is not called for at the moment.

Our AA is moderate to conservative (Stock 54% in index funds, Bonds 42%, Cash 4%).

We stayed in our starter home to keep our property taxes low and also because we love it here, and most of our friends are from this neighborhood. Otherwise, our taxes are high, due to high incomes and high-tax state. That said, we don't really stress about taxes. We just shrug and pay 'em.

A lot of people say this, but change is NOT inherently stressful. Many people have a stress response to change, but it's not a given, and it's worth digging into exactly what fear underlies the response.

hydra

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2021, 02:34:29 PM »
GREAT advice here. Thanks!

Rosy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2504
  • Location: Florida
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2021, 03:22:12 PM »
SNIP How do you stop yourself from checking your balances?

On a deeper level, how do you stop yourself from defining yourself by your wealth? I don't want people to think of me as Mrs. Moneybags, and I don't want to think of myself in those terms either. Maybe I just need to meditate, dance, or go for a hike.

Has anyone successfully quit the balance-porn habit?

Good questions - why and when has it become all about your wealth? What changed?

Generally speaking by the time you consider retirement you either have other (new) plans or realize that is exactly what you are ready for and you are looking forward to it.
Putting off retirement because of covid or family stuff makes no sense (to me) only because retirement gives you the time and opportunity to deal with important matters without overreacting or stressing to the point that it affects your own health and well-being. Your responses will probably be more measured and considerate for all parties involved.

Time is a gift.
Time (once passed) can not be bought for any amount of wealth.
Time can be and probably is more precious than wealth.

Wealth can give you the opportunity to buy you time to deal with whatever so that you can move on.
Just some thoughts that occurred to me while reading about your dilemma. You know checking your balances has stopped being a useful exercise a long time ago - so what has changed? - what inner emotion or fear is driving you to obsessively check?

It is always better to be pragmatic and act on your own terms rather than reacting to exterior circumstances.
What is it that is really bothering you about your wealth? Is it you yourself? Why exactly?

Proud Foot

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1150
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2021, 03:56:59 PM »
What are your holdings? Is is all mutual funds or do you have some ETF's/individual stocks?

Mutual funds only update the NAV at the end of each day. If you only hold those and having a reminder of that fact displayed next to your monitor may be helpful. 

caleb

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 443
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2021, 04:33:51 PM »
I think pretty much every financial management service will still send you paper statements.  Sign up for monthly paper delivery, and delete your online account access.

Also, cut down the screen time.

mistymoney

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 823
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2021, 10:14:42 PM »
probably not the advice you are looking for.......but.....

I never check on my work computer. I sit at table with work laptop and my own laptop and if I need to peak then I do it on my own machine.....

2sk22

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 795
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2021, 06:52:58 AM »
probably not the advice you are looking for.......but.....

I never check on my work computer. I sit at table with work laptop and my own laptop and if I need to peak then I do it on my own machine.....

This is very good advice! Try not to access your personal finances on your work computer as they may be logging your activities.

RainyDay

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 132
  • Location: Virginia
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2021, 09:54:50 AM »
Is it just a nervous tic?  Or do you truly need to know how much is in the account(s) and how much they've changed and do the answers upset or comfort you in any way?

I have a habit of checking the weather on my phone's weather app multiple times per day.  I like to know what the current temp is, what the high is going to be, how cold the night will be (mostly for my plants and chickens) and what next week will be.  However, the weather doesn't change THAT fast so it's probably just a form of self-comforting.  But since it takes mere seconds and doesn't impact my quality of life or hurt anyone, I don't really see it as a problem that needs fixing. 

mistymoney

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 823
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2021, 10:04:32 AM »
Is it just a nervous tic?  Or do you truly need to know how much is in the account(s) and how much they've changed and do the answers upset or comfort you in any way?

for me, when the market is up and work is very stressed, it helps for me to view my escape hatch. put the stress into perspective.

when market goes down a bit, makes it a little harder - but not too terribly as I know I could walk away and not face hunger/homeless for quite some time.

Tester

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 361
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #19 on: March 12, 2021, 09:58:47 PM »
I am checking more often too recently, as I am getting close to 500k net worth.
I know that I won't get there until 6-7 months from now (if things don't crash), but I am still looking...
I think it is also because I see this as a sign that the things I am doing started working...

It is the second time I am looking quite often.

I think in one two months I will get back to looking once every two weeks or once per month...

hydra

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2021, 10:16:00 PM »
Regarding holdings, it's mostly ETFs, a few mutual funds, plus money markets and a couple of CDs. No single stocks.

Maybe I'll set a recurring calendar reminder to check in with how my balances are doing: the first of ever month or something like that. Otherwise, I'm not allowed to look.

I do think it's a nervous tic. I try to only check when the market is doing well; I get sad and anxious otherwise.  OTOH, when the market is down, I feel better about my work. When the market is up, I feel like my work is pointless and I should just freakin' quit already.

I think that I like the comfort of checking because the numbers represent power and freedom and control over my life and my future. This has been especially comforting during Covid and as my spouse's health declines.

Malcat

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6939
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #21 on: March 13, 2021, 05:12:13 AM »
Regarding holdings, it's mostly ETFs, a few mutual funds, plus money markets and a couple of CDs. No single stocks.

Maybe I'll set a recurring calendar reminder to check in with how my balances are doing: the first of ever month or something like that. Otherwise, I'm not allowed to look.

I do think it's a nervous tic. I try to only check when the market is doing well; I get sad and anxious otherwise.  OTOH, when the market is down, I feel better about my work. When the market is up, I feel like my work is pointless and I should just freakin' quit already.

I think that I like the comfort of checking because the numbers represent power and freedom and control over my life and my future. This has been especially comforting during Covid and as my spouse's health declines.

Okay...but if you aren't actually going to change anything in your life, then how do the numbers on the screen represent power and freedom? Especially when they make you feel worse about the job you are choosing to stay in?

hydra

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2021, 10:02:57 AM »
Okay...but if you aren't actually going to change anything in your life, then how do the numbers on the screen represent power and freedom? Especially when they make you feel worse about the job you are choosing to stay in?

Power to choose. Future freedom. Also current freedom in that I can make demands at work without fear or reprisals.

I'm choosing to stay in my job because:

  • I haven't quite wrapped my head around the safety in the numbers. I'm getting there by reading, playing with calculators, tracking spending, etc.
  • I don't hate my job. It pays ridiculously well, and the work is fine. I only hate the meetings and bureaucratic BS. The actual work is kind of challenging in a soothing way. Also, many of the things I want to do in retirement are undoable during Covid.
  • We're waiting for our 19-year-old college student to become independent. We prepaid his tuition, but he's still very dependent with no solid post-college job plans.
  • Spouse is very sick, so we don't want to modify our health insurance. One of us could leave and we'd be fine. Both of our jobs offer the same coverage. But spouse has made it clear he's going to continue working until he's 65 (if he makes it that far). If he's working while sick, I would feel too guilty to retire and start living my best life. Picture this: I'm younger, healthier, retired, and having a great time, while he's sick and working. The optics would be terrible. He'd forgive me, but my in-laws? Not so much. And, more to the point, could I forgive myself?

Malcat

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6939
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #23 on: March 13, 2021, 10:13:18 AM »
Okay...but if you aren't actually going to change anything in your life, then how do the numbers on the screen represent power and freedom? Especially when they make you feel worse about the job you are choosing to stay in?

Power to choose. Future freedom. Also current freedom in that I can make demands at work without fear or reprisals.

I'm choosing to stay in my job because:

  • I haven't quite wrapped my head around the safety in the numbers. I'm getting there by reading, playing with calculators, tracking spending, etc.
  • I don't hate my job. It pays ridiculously well, and the work is fine. I only hate the meetings and bureaucratic BS. The actual work is kind of challenging in a soothing way. Also, many of the things I want to do in retirement are undoable during Covid.
  • We're waiting for our 19-year-old college student to become independent. We prepaid his tuition, but he's still very dependent with no solid post-college job plans.
  • Spouse is very sick, so we don't want to modify our health insurance. One of us could leave and we'd be fine. Both of our jobs offer the same coverage. But spouse has made it clear he's going to continue working until he's 65 (if he makes it that far). If he's working while sick, I would feel too guilty to retire and start living my best life. Picture this: I'm younger, healthier, retired, and having a great time, while he's sick and working. The optics would be terrible. He'd forgive me, but my in-laws? Not so much. And, more to the point, could I forgive myself?

So then what is the utility in checking the balance?

If you aren't ready to make a change, what does seeing your balance actually do for you. So far you've only said that it makes you feel worse about your job.

Yes, having more wealth gives you more options, but that has almost nothing to do with checking your balance. My finances give me a sense of freedom, but I haven't checked my balance in over a year.

Mmm_Donuts

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 402
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #24 on: March 13, 2021, 10:29:30 AM »
Like any unwanted habit, thereís something deeper going on there that is making you act compulsively. To break the habit you need to sit with the discomfort of not doing the behaviour, until the discomfort goes away and you retrain yourself not to do the unwanted thing.

I would start with setting limits like, not checking your accounts at work. Whenever you feel the urge to check, sit with whatever youíre feeling, and watch it with curiosity. Donít act, just notice. What are you feeling? A sense of not liking your job? Why? Just be honest with yourself and how you feel. Notice whatís coming up. Donít act on the impulse to check, and see what happens. You have somehow built an imaginary reward for yourself when you check - the rush of comfort at seeing your balance. But the compulsively of this has become a problem. The only way to address the problem is to break the action / perceived reward cycle of the habit.

Over time you will learn to be comfortable with whatever discomfort able feeling is coming up. Instead of avoiding the uncomfortable feeling, youíll learn to accept it and live with it. Or you make bigger changes in your life and job situation. But checking your balances is giving you a false sense of comfort which had become addictive. Youíre aware that the compulsion is not actually helping, so you have to learn to deal with this discomfort in other ways. You may find that just by sitting with it, and not acting, it will go away on its own over time.

hydra

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #25 on: March 13, 2021, 11:40:12 AM »
So then what is the utility in checking the balance?
If you aren't ready to make a change, what does seeing your balance actually do for you.

It's not rational. In some ways, some days, it makes me feel better about my situation. In some ways, some days, it doesn't. It's precisely the lack of utility in it that makes me feel kind of ashamed of the habit.

« Last Edit: March 13, 2021, 11:42:11 AM by hydra »

Malcat

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6939
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #26 on: March 13, 2021, 11:52:10 AM »
So then what is the utility in checking the balance?
If you aren't ready to make a change, what does seeing your balance actually do for you.

It's not rational. In some ways, some days, it makes me feel better about my situation. In some ways, some days, it doesn't. It's precisely the lack of utility in it that makes me feel kind of ashamed of the habit.

I'm asking you questions to try and get you to think deeper than this surface explanation.

Okay, you think it makes you feel better. Why? What is beneath that? Where does that motivation come from.

As long as you accept the superficial explanation of "I do it because it's reassuring", you won't be able to understand what's driving it.

There are two approaches to breaking an unwanted habit. First, just try to stop doing it by modifying the behaviour. Second, try to understand it. Usually changing a persistent habit requires both.

Don't be ashamed, virtually everyone deals with this type of behaviour. Yours is a lot more harmless than compulsive eating, alcohol and drug use, nail biting, cutting, hair pulling, teeth clenching, etc, etc.

Welcome to being human, we pick up compulsive self soothing habits as ways to cope with negative feelings. Don't feel embarrassed, just look at it as a warning signal that you are experiencing negative emotions that aren't being properly handled. Treat it like a trigger to care about what's going on with your mental health.

Something's up. You emotionally need something that you aren't getting.

Metta

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 715
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #27 on: March 13, 2021, 05:29:42 PM »
I think you are getting very good advice here. Iím just going to say that I used to do this and it was a great comfort because even if other things were going wrong, this one thing was going well. I needed that desperately when work turned stressful.

Once I FIREd and left my job I didnít need it anymore and the habit completely dropped. But I started doing it once again when Covid started to rage and I wasnít sure whether my mother and my husband would catch it and if they did whether they would survive. And every time Covid surged, I checked my balance again.

I see nothing wrong with weird little habits that provide comfort and hurt no one. So just  another perspective. Sometimes we do irrational things and itís ok. Not everything you do needs to be perfectly rational.

Beach_Stache

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 208
    • This Frugal Father
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #28 on: March 14, 2021, 07:24:45 AM »
I used to check my balances daily as well, early on in my career when I was saving a lot more than my peers (still am).  The endorphins that were released with a larger balance the following day were great, but on the flipside when the balance was down.  I think when I pushed through my first big drop in the market and kept the course I realized that checking really didn't do much, and the money is all just a number until you actually need it.  That helped a lot since I didn't have a FIRE date and found myself checking less frequently.  It also helped change my mindset, so when reading the news, if the market is down, I won't check at all, if it is normal or good maybe I'll check once/week.  My goal is to check less and less, maybe once/month and once/quarter, etc.  I think it's just habit building, after the excitement wore off I stopped checking so much and find myself each morning scrolling through investment/retirement articles instead.  So I guess I'm just replacing one routine with another, and where maybe I would check accounts before, I read articles w/dead time instead.  So maybe just find a healthy replacement for your current addiction.

Tester

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 361
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #29 on: March 14, 2021, 12:57:27 PM »
As I said for me we are getting close to a big milestone and I want to celebrate that to hopefully get my wife more on board and to make her realize I am not completely nuts for thinking this can work...
So today looked again, had a nice surprise.
15k to go for 500k net worth...

norajean

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 603
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #30 on: March 14, 2021, 02:46:31 PM »
Seems harmless enough. Why are worried?

Malcat

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6939
Re: I can't stop checking my balances
« Reply #31 on: March 14, 2021, 03:13:37 PM »
Seems harmless enough. Why are worried?

A habit is never harmless when it's compulsive and the person actively wants to stop it and feels they can't.
Regardless of the reasons, that alone should be seen as a warning sign that something is up. It's typically a signal of significant stress, triggering a compulsive self soothing habit.

It sounds like OP has a lot going on. That doesn't mean they need to prioritize getting rid of this habit, that means they should probably assess and process whatever emotional needs are not being met that are driving the habit.