My 24yo daughter is moving back home with the bf in a couple weeks after she completes coding boot camp training. They plan to find (temporary) jobs here while she searches for the best coding gig she can find on the West Coast.
I work FT & can support them for awhile without too much impact on my debt reduction/savings strategies. But I have lived alone for the past 5 years (and loved EVERY minute of it) so I expect we'll have a good deal of adjusting to do in sharing a household.
I want to suggest a plan for them.
FIRST: they pay off her credit card (balance unknown but probably under $1K).
NEXT: replace the air-bag-deployed but still drive-able POS they currently drive with a proper economical & SAFE vehicle. And get them both bikes.
THEN: for the near future, save every penny so when the right coding job appears, they can make the move at once.
They're on their own for far future plans; I have my own life to look after.
My dilemma: having been ignorantly immersed in consumerism until very recently, it feels hypocritical to insist they save everything when I still spend on myself. I don't go shopping as entertainment/therapy or other BS spending but I do spend on personal grooming (haircuts & waxing). I have a 401(k) & pension fund (plus other savings for retirement) & both sites indicate I am on track to retire...at 65. I plan on getting out much sooner. I am carrying some stupid debt (car loan & credit card) that desperately needs to be paid off asap and my plans had that occurring later this year, until this impending house-mate situation arose.
Boomerang kids are apparently quite common these days and I welcome anyone's suggestions, warnings, whatever as I am completely at sea & feeling a bit apprehensive.
Also, this is my first MMM forum post so please make the obligatory face punches for stupid debt gentle ones, this time.
Thanks!
K
1st ETA: Not looking to be the mom or boss (thanks for pointing that out!), but I definitely want a plan in place with a time frame. Also, I do not intend to clean/cook/ect for them as they're both adults. My kid knows this but she mentioned in an email that she advised the bf of my expectations: clean, quiet, & contributing. That she had to explain that to him worries me and I'm already heavily prejudiced against him because he made her cry. Because of that, I asked a good (male) friend to come over & meet them/him as a way to get an outside, more objective opinion about the bf.
Also, professional appearance is a job requirement at this point.
2nd ETA: It occurred to me to do the stay free for x amount of time, then charge nominal rent (to be returned on their leaving if possible) but I really want them to just save save save. I was relieved to discover my kid has found MMM! My parents never discussed money when I was growing up & I learned some very hard lessons because of that (hello, bankruptcy at age 29). I know the kids are somewhat party animals from fb posts & avid gamers of many types (on-line, xbox, table-top) but not sure how much they actually spend on that (Blizzard sub is around $85/6 mos-yeah I play WoW). This is appalling for me to admit but they've been using food stamps for some time now...
If things work out REALLY well (and I am hopeful this may happen), I'd have them stay and we could ALL get our financial acts together. Having support at home would likely benefit everyone.
3rd ETA: I live in Bellingham, WA. Her coding boot camp is in NM and they're currently staying with his dad (rent free) but have worn out that welcome completely and possibly forever. They have NO cash on hand and cannot afford to move anywhere until that's remedied. Bf hasn't found paying work in the 4 months they've been there while kid goes to school.
I have been cautioned by friends about being overly demanding (moi? /batseyelashes) and am trying to keep that in mind as I approach this new experience.
4rth ETA: No longer welcome at the bf's dad's is due to their since-rehomed dog eating a couch. While the bf was in the next room . Playing video games. With the door open.
Yeeah, I know. But she's my kid and she's already had one brief round of couch-surfing homelessness that she didn't tell me about till it'd been resolved. The bf was involved in that episode, too. That's the source of my wanting to manage their financial choices somewhat; I don't trust the guy. But she's deeply enmeshed & my only hope is for her to see how much better she can do for herself and that's to let them try and maybe fail but not to the point of her being homeless again.