Author Topic: How much do I owe my friend?  (Read 3563 times)

AMandM

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How much do I owe my friend?
« on: April 15, 2017, 12:57:59 PM »
A friend was showing me the house she and her husband recently bought.  When we got to the bathroom, I exclaimed admiringly, "Ooh!  You have a claw foot tub!"  She immediately answered, "Do you want it?"  She offered to give it to me, because they have to tear out that bathroom to build an in-law suite.  So we loaded it into my van and I took it home. 

Eventually (thanks in part to the DIY forum here), I realized that I could not use the tub after all, and I sold it on Craigslist.  I feel like I should give my friend part of the money; I did the work of finding a seller, but my friend could have sold it herself instead of giving it to me.

What say you?  Should I give her a share of the price I got?  How much?  50%? More? Less?

SwordGuy

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2017, 01:13:26 PM »
I would just give her the money and say thank you again.

chasesfish

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2017, 01:23:37 PM »
I'd give her half the money and just tell her it didn't work.

The other half is for transportation/pain.

chris316

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2017, 01:40:43 PM »
I think for time and transportation you have to take at the least whatever that offsets (I would assume a little less than half)...
However depending on how close you are with the friend you could...

1- give them all of it
2- keep it all, don't say a word
3- take your cut, give them the rest and lie and tell them that was all it was sold for
4- tell them the truth and see what they think is fair

I would probably veer towards #4 because you never know if they have other things they might want sold you can make a nice side hustle being the middle man and make some more cash with whatever else they want to sell... if you build up contacts that makes you more valuable and have skills they wouldn't otherwise "be able to do themselves." meaning you well deserve the cut you work for.

Also its just being honest and a good person and the world needs more of those people... usually doing good things come back to you and its not worth losing a good friendship/contact/relationship over...


Laura33

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2017, 08:41:13 AM »
I think you need to know your friend.  If she is an optimizer who would have found the perfect home for the tub and made money off of it, she sacrificed in giving the tub to you, and so you owe her basically what she gave up.  OTOH, if she is a more typical remodeled, she likely would have just tossed the tub in a dumpster, in which case you likely saved her disposal fees (or the hassle of finding some other way to get rid of it).  Which is she?  If you don't know, I'd default to offering a 50/50 split and seeing how she responds.

Tl;dr:  When in doubt, you rarely go wrong defaulting to a more generous option.

AMandM

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2017, 12:36:46 PM »
Janie, you are right that I should have asked my friend first.  Don't know why that never occurred to me!

Chris, there was never any question of lying to her or concealing anything from her.  Your and SwordGuy's suggestion of giving her all the money would, I think, backfire; she'd be more likely to refuse all of it than half of it. 

Laura, I do think she was glad to get the tub out of her hair (it's a complicated remodel and she's also updating her current house to sell), but I don't feel right about making a good profit off a friend's generosity.  I will give her half the money next time I see her.

Thanks, all.
Thanks, all.

SwordGuy

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2017, 01:49:39 PM »
Your and SwordGuy's suggestion of giving her all the money would, I think, backfire; she'd be more likely to refuse all of it than half of it. 

You can always offer half after she turns down all of it.

And if she still turns it down, I'm not sure that's a "backfire".   Your friend will like you more for being honest and truthful and caring, and you keep all the money.   :)

valsecito

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2017, 02:42:28 PM »
Janie, you are right that I should have asked my friend first.  Don't know why that never occurred to me!

Chris, there was never any question of lying to her or concealing anything from her.  Your and SwordGuy's suggestion of giving her all the money would, I think, backfire; she'd be more likely to refuse all of it than half of it. 

Laura, I do think she was glad to get the tub out of her hair (it's a complicated remodel and she's also updating her current house to sell), but I don't feel right about making a good profit off a friend's generosity.  I will give her half the money next time I see her.

Thanks, all.
Thanks, all.
Some friends would be happy to have the money go to the charity of their choice. You can always offer them that if they feel a bit uncomfortable accepting money from a friend...

Firehazard

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2017, 06:16:43 PM »
If you want to be all class about it, buy her a gift card from Home Depot, Lowes or whatever home improvement store she frequents worth 100 percent of what you got for the tub.  This way you don't make it awkward for her.  She will appreciate the gesture and will admire you for it.

Hotstreak

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2017, 07:00:45 PM »
I'd tell her I sold it, and I'm planning on going to the store to buy some steaks and a bottle of wine, and invite her and her husband over for a nice dinner. 

Tiger Stache

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2017, 07:41:14 PM »
I'd want the cash, all of it.

samsonator54321

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Re: How much do I owe my friend?
« Reply #11 on: April 17, 2017, 08:21:04 PM »
IMO you owe them the whole thing.  I would have said do you want it back, if they said no I'd tell them I'm taking the time to sell it and split the money.  Since you didn't ask them if they want it back then you should act like what you would do if you did find out they wanted it back (which means give them all the money)