Author Topic: How would you do social isolation when you live with others who won't do it.  (Read 4463 times)

spartana

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 419
  • FIREd at 36
Piggy backing off @Mr Green  thread https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/should-we-delay-our-multi-month-cross-country-(us)-camping-trip/

What would do you do if you live with people or share a big part of your day with people who don't, won't, or can't socially distance? SO, family, roommates, workmates, etc that go about life as they previously did and perhaps put you and others at risk but who you can't just boot out of your life?

Like mr green, I have a roommate who doesn't take this seriously and interacts with tons of people. This last week he went out of state to visit relatives while his job was on hiatus but will be back tomorrow and working again - as well as living a regular social life even if our area has shut down everything. Like Mr. Green I had just planned to abandon ship and go off on a very isolated camping road trip. But now things are shut down So thinking of just renting a remote vacation house for a month that's within a days drive (if I get sick)  and bringing my own supplies and do solo activities (I'm FIREd and not working).

So WWYD or what have you done to keep the cootie-bearing beings you live with from infecting you needlessly? Or is it just something people don't worry too much about.

ketchup

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4323
  • Age: 33
I have a close friend who has two 18 year old twin boys that are not taking any of this seriously.  They are off school, so they are gallivanting around town, still working their jobs at the bike shop and having crowds of people in their garage trying to fix a motorcycle they bought for $350.  Her solution so far is to drive herself crazy cleaning everything every chance she gets.  And yell at them.

Mr. Green

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4494
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Wilmington, NC
38% of people hospitalized with COVID-19 were between the ages of 20-54, CDC reports. "This disease is more widespread, more transmissible, and perhaps more dangerous to more groups of people than we previously understood.”

This is what makes me concerned, that this thing is still so new that we don't have a good handle on just how bad it really is. If we went and hid out in the woods and it was brought under control we'd look like we were paranoid but if half of all Americans end up with it like some scientists and experts are saying is possible then we look like we were being exceedingly prudent.

At the end of the day, it still takes being around someone to get it. At this moment we are currently at risk of getting it from a housemate, falling seriously ill, and suffering either permanent lung damage or death. The big question is are we less at risk on our own somewhere that isn't exactly home. It sure seems like the common sense answer there is yes. But this is for an atypical situation that may not apply to most folks.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 11:12:30 AM by Mr. Green »

Laura33

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3479
  • Location: Mid-Atlantic
I think that's a personal risk assessment.  My household doesn't include anyone who is obviously at risk; you never know, but we all are reasonably healthy and reasonably active.  So we are self-quarantining largely to keep from spreading it to others (in fact, I voluntarily did so a week before our state did anything, because I happened to be in NY when the outbreak there exploded).  As a result, I am not particularly concerned about avoiding all contact, because we are likely in the "annoyance/uncomfortable but not life-threatening" category.  Knock on wood, we hope.  So right now, the value of staying in place, having our home and our luxuries and our grocery stores and regular doctors and office if I need to run in for something and all that outweighs anything else.

OTOH, if we were in an active hot spot, I'd probably be more worried, knowing that our local medical options are already overwhelmed.  And if I were living with someone who was actively flouting, I'd have a problem with that just on general principles, because they are putting other people at risk for no good reason, and I find that morally unconscionable.  If I were renting to someone like that, I'd probably tell them to get with the program or get out; if I were renting from someone like that, I'd definitely consider moving out temporarily if that were an option.

Freedomin5

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6482
You do it the way China does it right now. There’s no need to speculate.

You stay inside your room and treat the common areas of your house as being infected. Does it suck? Yes. Big time. Is it fair? Wrong question. In times like these, you just do what you gotta do.

We had a family of four (my colleagues) who recently returned to Shanghai. The CDC folks required them to create a schedule for using the common areas of their apartment so that they aren’t all out there at the same time. The rest of the time, they were required to isolate in their own rooms.

So if you have roommates that are still going to work, you use the common areas when they are gone and you isolate in your room when they are there. Before going out into the common areas, use a Lysol wipe or disinfectant spray to clean commonly touches areas. After returning to your room, wash your hands with soap under running warm water for 20 seconds.

And of course, if you have the option to move out for a while, then do so.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 11:22:57 AM by Freedomin5 »

Freedomin5

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6482
If you move out, make sure you move somewhere that does NOT have a centralized HVAC system that is shared with other housing units.

China suspects that there might be a possibility that the virus is transmitted through the air. In the hotels that have been converted into testing sites, they are turning off the heat to minimize the possibility of infected air being circulated in all the rooms. We are being told to dress warm as our testing site may or may not have heat. Good thing we are coming from Canada and will be wearing winter gear.

FIRE 20/20

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 758
I will likely take the move out for awhile option for myself. Much more pleasant to rent a little cabin in the local mountains for a month then stay inside my bedroom.  BF and I had previously decided to keep our distance from each other while he finishes his side gig job (he's FIREd too) but I can't do the same with roomie. He's scheduled to move out at the end of April so maybe a financial incentive to leave sooner would help.

I would definitely get him to move out if that's possible.  I would hope you would be able to just kick him out, but if the agreement you have is equal then maybe giving him that financial incentive to leave might be worth it. 
Attitudes like this drive me crazy.  He is putting not only his health at risk but also yours as well as the health of the entire community.  I'm not concerned for myself because I'm not in a high risk group, but I have almost completely isolated myself because I'm concerned that most places in the world and certainly the U.S. will have hospitals that are completely overrun.  There won't be space for car crash victims, heart attack and stroke patients, births, etc. on top of the COVID-19 patients.  People will need to be set aside to die who might otherwise live, and a HUGE part of the reason will be selfish idiots like your roomie.  The goal right now isn't just to avoid getting COVID-19 yourself, but to keep our health care system from being overwhelmed in the next few weeks and months.  And many of these idiots aren't going to even be the ones who deal with that fallout because they're most likely to get it during the early crush that hits the hospitals rather than after they're completely overwhelmed. 

renata ricotta

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 703
I will likely take the move out for awhile option for myself. Much more pleasant to rent a little cabin in the local mountains for a month then stay inside my bedroom.  BF and I had previously decided to keep our distance from each other while he finishes his side gig job (he's FIREd too) but I can't do the same with roomie. He's scheduled to move out at the end of April so maybe a financial incentive to leave sooner would help.

I would definitely get him to move out if that's possible.  I would hope you would be able to just kick him out, but if the agreement you have is equal then maybe giving him that financial incentive to leave might be worth it. 
Attitudes like this drive me crazy.  He is putting not only his health at risk but also yours as well as the health of the entire community.  I'm not concerned for myself because I'm not in a high risk group, but I have almost completely isolated myself because I'm concerned that most places in the world and certainly the U.S. will have hospitals that are completely overrun.  There won't be space for car crash victims, heart attack and stroke patients, births, etc. on top of the COVID-19 patients.  People will need to be set aside to die who might otherwise live, and a HUGE part of the reason will be selfish idiots like your roomie.  The goal right now isn't just to avoid getting COVID-19 yourself, but to keep our health care system from being overwhelmed in the next few weeks and months.  And many of these idiots aren't going to even be the ones who deal with that fallout because they're most likely to get it during the early crush that hits the hospitals rather than after they're completely overwhelmed.

If my roommate were acting like this, and refused to change his behavior even after being directly and very seriously requested, I'd take it as the opportunity to kick him out.

My roommate is still going to work because his workplace has directly refuse to comply with the governor's order. He'll likely call the health department over the weekend to see what enforcement options are like. But he's not socializing, only going to the grocery store when necessary, and complying with my request to wash his hands the moment he walks into the apartment. I'm disinfecting surfaces and doorknobs multiple times a day, and continuing my own diligent handwashing and no-face-touching. His work means we continue to be at risk, which I'm ok with, because he's doing his best and not being a dick about it, like your roommate seems to be doing.

renata ricotta

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 703
He doesn't even HAVE to work but wants to and even volunteered to resume to help others out who can't or won't work. And I don't think I can kick him out even if I wanted too. Calif tenent laws are very strict and now they are even stricter since the feds and state issued a no eviction rule even if they can't pay due to the virus.

Would you be willing to cash in all your social capital with him, since he's (supposedly) a friend of yours? For instance, "this is a deal breaker for our friendship. I don't care if you personally believe it, but if you do not comply with social distancing, you are showing you don't care about my physical and mental health, and you are no longer my friend. You will move out the moment it is possible and we will no longer have a relationship of any kind." That might be more nuclear than you want to go, but in your shoes I would be seriously considering it.

Mr. Green

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4494
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Wilmington, NC
I think we may end up doing something similar. @spartana your idea of a cabin in the woods has me looking at similar type situations near us. The mountainous area of our state is only 6 hours away and there's supposed to be some beautiful hiking there. There are inexpensive "small cottage" type accommodations available within the same budget we'd outlined for our cross-country trip that would allow us to self-isolate. And since we'd be near multiple national forests, etc. there'd be no shortage of options for us to get outside and not go stir crazy, vs. locking ourselves in our bedroom at home if we truly wanted to isolate ourselves from our housemates. I've always wanted to spend some time in that part of the state anyway so perhaps it would end up feeling like a mini vacation. Perhaps after a month, our friends would be forced home by some state order and it would be safe to come back.

renata ricotta

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 703
If you visit a rural community during the outbreak, please assume you are an asymptomatic spreader and do not visit any gas stations or grocery stores on your way; load your trunk with your own supplies. Rural communities are especially vulnerable to introduction of the virus from more populous areas, because their hospitals and clinics are particularly easily overwhelmed and will be without sufficient resources if even a small outbreak occurs.

https://www.latimes.com/travel/story/2020-03-19/coronavirus-mammoth-lakes-truckee-please-dont-come-visit
https://www.npr.org/2020/03/15/815638096/rural-hospitals-brace-for-coronavirus

Mr. Green

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4494
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Wilmington, NC
If you visit a rural community during the outbreak, please assume you are an asymptomatic spreader and do not visit any gas stations or grocery stores on your way; load your trunk with your own supplies. Rural communities are especially vulnerable to introduction of the virus from more populous areas, because their hospitals and clinics are particularly easily overwhelmed and will be without sufficient resources if even a small outbreak occurs.

https://www.latimes.com/travel/story/2020-03-19/coronavirus-mammoth-lakes-truckee-please-dont-come-visit
https://www.npr.org/2020/03/15/815638096/rural-hospitals-brace-for-coronavirus
There are procedures you can follow that make this a non issue. We would arrive with all the food we need for the first two weeks, and gas pump handles, etc. can be wiped down or gloves used. People just need to use their brains. The problem is most don't. In our case it would not be a truly rural area, just 20-30 mins from the major regional hospital.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 03:38:01 PM by Mr. Green »

Eilonwy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 118
If you can get the gloves and the wipes.


Mr. Green

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4494
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Wilmington, NC
If you can get the gloves and the wipes.
We have the advantage of being a couple, so it's much easier. If you're really on top of things you can do a rubbing alcohol dip. One person pours into a bowl, second person coats hands after the touching of common surfaces. Then rubbing alcohol is returned to its storage container. No wipes or gloves needed. If there's no rubbing alcohol but some everclear or any booze over 120 proof. If people are really serious about it, there are plenty of ways to stay hospital-grade safe, as long as you avoid other people. Of course, the process I just mentioned is not possible as an individual.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 04:10:59 PM by Mr. Green »

ixtap

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4560
  • Age: 51
  • Location: SoCal
    • Our Sea Story
Well apparently I'm a day late but we just went into official full lockdown mode in Calif. I dont yet know what it all covers but unfortunately I just checked on the AirBNB and VRBO sites and looks like most Calif places I was looking at have cancelled existing rentals and aren't accepting new ones. So hoping roommate chooses not to come back and will take the work furlough instead or move in with a co-worker. That's what I'm working on now and I think he is starting to agree. With the lockdown on everything here, including many outdoor activities, he is leaning towards staying with his family for now. Crossing fingers!

What outdoor activities? Everything I have read says you can go out for exercise, just keep your distance.

John Galt incarnate!

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2038
  • Location: On Cloud Nine
I will likely take the move out for awhile option for myself.

If I did not own/control the dwelling I would do the same.


He's scheduled to move out at the end of April so maybe a financial incentive to leave sooner would help.

I'd give him the April rent to incent his move as soon as possible.

I HATE BEING SICK.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 07:19:43 PM by John Galt incarnate! »

SunnyDays

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3489
Are there any teeth to the lock-down command?  Like, what happens if one doesn't?  Can you report him to someone?  If not, I would wait until he's out and then change the locks.  Seriously.  You want to be out, then stay out.  Let him deal with the authorities to get back in.  After that, he won't want to live there any more.

Mr. Green

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4494
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Wilmington, NC
I think our situation may work itself out as well. We had a talk yesterday and today about just how serious we should be treating the situation and one housemate has agreed to stay home 90% of the time because the business has enough employees that he doesn't physically need to be there. Between the 3 of us adults home now we're willing to divide baby duties up enough that the baby can can out of daycare. That just leaves one adult who is at the mercy of her employer for staying home, and I suspect this situation won't last much longer. Hoping she comes home soon and then the household will be much safer.

Linea_Norway

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8569
  • Location: Norway
When I am reading this thread and Mr. Green's one, I keep thinking you (the US) are responding so slowly. Are they testing everybody in your community? Probably not. Then the number of infections might be much bigger then you think. You might also yourself be infected already. Here in Norway doctors were also telling people that they didn't have corona, because it wasn't here yet. And some of these people have been confirmed later. I think we had it for weeks before anyone was aware of it.

I would confine the roommate to his room whenever he is in the house, washing hands properly when coming in. Do you have separate bathrooms?

We are forbidden to visit our own cabin in the mountains at 5,5 hours driving, to not risk overloading the hospitals in the rural area.

Mr. Green

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4494
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Wilmington, NC
The simple answer is the country's leadership sucks right now. Rather than heed expert opinion, and prepare for the inevitable, they either thought they could keep it out or just didn't want to believe it would happen here. Even now there is continual pushback against expert opinion. It honestly makes no sense to me, and it certainly ought to be making everyone question the competency of our leaders.

SunnyDays

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3489
Are there any teeth to the lock-down command?  Like, what happens if one doesn't?  Can you report him to someone?  If not, I would wait until he's out and then change the locks.  Seriously.  You want to be out, then stay out.  Let him deal with the authorities to get back in.  After that, he won't want to live there any more.


As for the roommate he's a friend so would never do anything drastic. I'd just rather distance myself if possible.

What kind of a "friend" cavalierly puts others at risk of a potentially fatal disease?

SunnyDays

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3489
Glad that worked out for you!  Wonder if he'll stay healthy?

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22318
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
He will probably outlive us all. I think since most people at his job are still working (thousands) that even if he were following proper social distancing he's going to be a greater risk then those who are not working. I know this is a situation other people deal with everyday with spouses and family members who work and there's not much you can do. But purposely engaging in non-essential social activities seems pretty selfish. But maybe I'm just a paranoid weirdo.
Maybe, but you're our weirdo and we want you to stay healthy.  Great news!

SunnyDays

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3489
I've read that accidents are actually down because more people are staying home and not out doing risky things.  Be careful on that roof!

Sibley

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7428
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
I've read that accidents are actually down because more people are staying home and not out doing risky things.  Be careful on that roof!
I read that too. I know I'm being very careful - much more so then normal - so I assume fewer of those kinds of accidents will help free up ER space.

LOL. Talked to a coworker this morning. She's WFH like all of us, and she fell down the basement stairs, tried to catch herself and instead managed to tear a tendon in her elbow. So, she's looking at however long on meds and not using it, then PT. Hopefully that will fix it, otherwise surgery. Though I think she avoided the ER and got into a orthopedic or something specialist.

renata ricotta

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 703
I've read that accidents are actually down because more people are staying home and not out doing risky things.  Be careful on that roof!
I read that too. I know I'm being very careful - much more so then normal - so I assume fewer of those kinds of accidents will help free up ER space.

LOL. Talked to a coworker this morning. She's WFH like all of us, and she fell down the basement stairs, tried to catch herself and instead managed to tear a tendon in her elbow. So, she's looking at however long on meds and not using it, then PT. Hopefully that will fix it, otherwise surgery. Though I think she avoided the ER and got into a orthopedic or something specialist.

My 80 year old grandma had to go to the hospital this week because she tore her meniscus cross-country skiing. :/ They took her temperature before letting her in and apparently were strictly enforcing social distancing in the waiting room, which is good because she lives in a very rural area where the hospital could easily get overwhelmed with just a few cases, and the closest "big city" is Idaho Falls 2+ hours away. Bad time to need care.