Author Topic: How would you describe your job in one sentence?  (Read 63057 times)

vagon

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How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« on: May 07, 2015, 06:47:12 PM »
I'll kick it off:

"I make sure some machines run which allow small-time investors to gamble on buying tiny bits of companies"

Kris

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2015, 06:55:15 PM »
I fight against the march toward idiocy in Scott Walker's Wisconsin.

HappierAtHome

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2015, 06:59:12 PM »
I find typos, and reach the high shelves for my shorter coworkers.

ChaseMcD

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2015, 06:59:52 PM »
I ensure employees and pets don't die or get maimed while managing a pet store for the country's largest pet specialty retailer.

Hoping to change that though.

midweststache

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2015, 07:10:42 PM »
I use literature to teach teenagers and young twenty-somethings to ask important questions, think beyond their own experiences, and express themselves more eloquently than they do through memes and emojis.

Kiwi Mustache

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2015, 08:14:10 PM »
I do F*** all.

MsPeacock

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2015, 08:15:53 PM »
I put people back together.

JLee

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2015, 08:56:16 PM »
I fix stuff that other people can't fix and help those people learn so hopefully next time they won't have to ask me. :P

zurich78

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2015, 09:01:14 PM »
I got hired because they were lacking in a particular expertise, and they just argue with me and tell me what to do.

etselec

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2015, 09:11:00 PM »
I write stuff to try to convince people to do things that are good for them.

lunahsol

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2015, 09:44:34 PM »
I give people the resources they need to help them become want they want to be when they grow up.

monstermonster

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2015, 10:26:41 PM »
I ask rich people for money so that poor people can have bicycles to get to work.

regulator

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2015, 10:40:57 PM »
I block up holes in a metaphorical guardrail while others aim NASCARS at them at full speed.

vagon

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2015, 10:41:48 PM »
I block up holes in a metaphorical guardrail while others aim NASCARS at them at full speed.

Haha nice, my favourite so far!

TheFixer

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2015, 10:55:30 PM »
I fix things after others have fixed them.

It would be easier if I got first crack at fixing things, but that's often deemed too inconvenient.

mspym

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #15 on: May 07, 2015, 11:57:25 PM »
I get people to talk to each other, or at least in the same room so they can filter it through me.

Kriegsspiel

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2015, 03:40:36 AM »
I walk through the woods and help document what I find out there.

Bjorn

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2015, 04:27:12 AM »
I stare at a computer screen, type numbers on a keyboard and print paper.

Trifele

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2015, 05:57:31 AM »
I write complicated documents with lots of words that help people protect their money.

Gray Matter

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2015, 06:18:51 AM »
I tell people it's not nice to judge others, while judging them for judging others.

Le Poisson

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2015, 07:14:53 AM »
I try to keep people and cars from getting into wrecks, while helping people in cars get places faster and more conveniently.

In a bizarre juxtaposition, I try to get people on bikes, but no one listens.

Rural

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2015, 07:25:44 AM »
I teach people stuff while researching better ways to teach stuff.

Schaefer Light

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2015, 07:33:15 AM »
What would you say...you do here?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SoWNMNKNeM

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #23 on: May 08, 2015, 07:34:42 AM »
I save people time by automating their tedious tasks.

jba302

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #24 on: May 08, 2015, 07:34:57 AM »
I do research on data to build algorithms in order to stop people who think math is bullshit from doing things that lose us money.

anks

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #25 on: May 08, 2015, 08:31:12 AM »
I design things to use less fuel, so clowns can justify spending more on them and using them more.

MandalayVA

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #26 on: May 08, 2015, 08:38:42 AM »
I do glorified data entry.

gillstone

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #27 on: May 08, 2015, 08:55:13 AM »
I help rural hospitals and small manufacturers get low-cost, affordable loans.

AmbitiousCanuck

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #28 on: May 08, 2015, 09:08:59 AM »
I rewrite the same piece of software over and over again because the designers are like squirrels with ADHD on redbull.

Spork

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #29 on: May 08, 2015, 09:11:23 AM »
I stop internet traffic.

Scubanewbie

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #30 on: May 08, 2015, 10:10:19 AM »
I do research on data to build algorithms in order to stop people who think math is bullshit from doing things that lose us money.

^^^ Love it!  We're in similar fields but I was going to say that I create (and recreate) Powerpoint decks trying to explain why "I think its cool and the sales rep paid for my vacation conference fees" is not justification for spending millions of dollars when MATH clearly shows its better to spend it elsewhere...or not at all.

surfhb

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #31 on: May 08, 2015, 10:36:19 AM »
I watch movies on really expensive equipment to make sure they look good.

darkadams00

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #32 on: May 08, 2015, 10:51:29 AM »
I write really cool programs to identify fraudsters and other assorted snakes in the grass.

teen persuasion

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #33 on: May 08, 2015, 10:52:11 AM »
I move books around all day, and try to convince other people to take them out of our building for a little vacation.

katstache92

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #34 on: May 08, 2015, 11:00:41 AM »
I pull and organize large amounts of data into easy to understand summaries with pretty graphs for other departments and automate repetitive tasks.

mtn

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #35 on: May 08, 2015, 11:04:38 AM »
I make sure risk is recognized and being dealt with appropriately (which may be to do nothing at all).

Guava

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #36 on: May 08, 2015, 11:14:08 AM »
I figure out exactly why the airbag lamp on the dash lit up after the delearship fixes it and occasionally watch brand new cars crash in highly controlled environments.

skunkfunk

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #37 on: May 08, 2015, 11:15:19 AM »
I make lines on paper so that somebody else can ignore it and go make a building.

SilveradoBojangles

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #38 on: May 08, 2015, 11:23:55 AM »
I make sure risk is recognized and being dealt with appropriately (which may be to do nothing at all).

Ha, I do this too! But I do this with fish, and you probably don't.

SwedishChef

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #39 on: May 08, 2015, 11:35:55 AM »
I do research on data to build algorithms in order to stop people who think math is bullshit from doing things that lose us money.

Hehe. Was trying to come to come up with one for my job -- this is pretty close. For me, I'd add I also build algorithms to make data look pretty, which is taken by sales people (who think math is bullshit) to sell and make the company money.

James!

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #40 on: May 08, 2015, 11:49:13 AM »
I design things for surgeons for they can put broken bones back together

CabinetGuy

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #41 on: May 08, 2015, 12:48:56 PM »
I cut large pieces of wood into smaller pieces of wood to make them look pretty (and functional), then screw them to walls.

dycker1978

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #42 on: May 08, 2015, 01:01:17 PM »
I sit at my desk and read MMM forums.

Gone Fishing

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #43 on: May 08, 2015, 01:07:22 PM »
I fill in boxes on the computer because the programmers can't figure out how to make them fill themselves in.

markbike528CBX

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #44 on: May 08, 2015, 01:12:58 PM »
I chemically remove the stain from "stainless steel", so nuclear workers can work on or near piping, with minimal radiation dose.

humbleMouse

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #45 on: May 08, 2015, 01:36:23 PM »
I make devices that are monitoring your health talk to applications over the internetz

Travis

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #46 on: May 08, 2015, 02:00:55 PM »
This is my boss' interpretation of my job.

CALL 911

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #47 on: May 08, 2015, 02:26:23 PM »
I take the blame for "everything" that goes wrong, while herding cats to keep things from going seriously wrong, at the same time I make it look routine.

The Pigeon

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #48 on: May 08, 2015, 02:32:54 PM »
I make garbage--what I am paid to create ends up in your recycling bin or the landfill.

jwilliams0215

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #49 on: May 08, 2015, 03:21:35 PM »
I invest in businesses, kind of like shark tank, but with much larger companies