Author Topic: How would you describe your job in one sentence?  (Read 63056 times)

justplucky

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #150 on: May 11, 2016, 12:47:39 PM »
I translate processes and policies from developer and business-speak into something a 5th grader could understand, make sure those policies and processes work in the real world, and document them.

Inaya

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #151 on: May 11, 2016, 01:06:10 PM »
I translate processes and policies from developer and business-speak into something a 5th grader could understand, make sure those policies and processes work in the real world, and document them.


And then they get misunderstood anyway, right? Sometimes I feel like we should be hiring 5th graders.

CindyBS

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #152 on: May 11, 2016, 02:44:26 PM »
I provide the help disabled kids need in a mainstream classroom to allow them to learn with their non-disabled peers.

v8rx7guy

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #153 on: May 11, 2016, 02:59:20 PM »
I design and test self propelled machinery for mechanically harvesting niche crops.

ETBen

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #154 on: May 11, 2016, 03:04:03 PM »
I get paid to dress up pretty and talk to people.

Tester

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #155 on: May 11, 2016, 03:06:26 PM »
I find problems and inform the owners of the product about the risks so they can decide if/when to launch the product.

Sailor Sam

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #156 on: May 11, 2016, 03:28:15 PM »
I create, institute, and enforce policy designed to prevent accidental death in a marine environment.

My previous assignment: I interdicted people trafficking illegal substances, before the substances could cross the Mean High Water demarcation line.

justplucky

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #157 on: May 11, 2016, 04:18:48 PM »
I translate processes and policies from developer and business-speak into something a 5th grader could understand, make sure those policies and processes work in the real world, and document them.


And then they get misunderstood anyway, right? Sometimes I feel like we should be hiring 5th graders.

It used to be 8th grade, but that is now considered too advanced at my company. I swear if I could figure out a way to make people read policies and follow them on a consistent basis, I could make millions through consulting.

tardis

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #158 on: May 11, 2016, 06:12:00 PM »
I make lines on paper so that somebody else can ignore it and go make a building.

Heh.  Me too.

yakamashii

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #159 on: May 11, 2016, 06:19:05 PM »
I change Japanese characters into English words, and make them say what the writer or reader wants them to say (within reason, and depending on who's paying).

Rezdent

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #160 on: May 11, 2016, 06:29:17 PM »
I translate processes and policies from developer and business-speak into something a 5th grader could understand, make sure those policies and processes work in the real world, and document them.


And then they get misunderstood anyway, right? Sometimes I feel like we should be hiring 5th graders.

It used to be 8th grade, but that is now considered too advanced at my company. I swear if I could figure out a way to make people read policies and follow them on a consistent basis, I could make millions through consulting.
I write at 7th grade level.
Not because our people are idiots - they most certainly are not.  Many of my audience has a masters or PhD.
These people are just bombarded with information.  If I can get the message across at a 7th-grade level, they are much more likely to read/retain/respond to the information.

My one-liner: I translate concepts into easily understood instructions while simultaneously finding discrepancies between design and the outcome.

The software engineers call me the "bug-hunter", and that's not a very flattering nickname.

Ironically, neither of these are noted anywhere in my job description.

Shipwreckgirl

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #161 on: May 11, 2016, 06:42:35 PM »
I use a camera to stop time and record the best moments of people's lives so they can relive those moments forever and ever.

Sailor Sam

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #162 on: May 11, 2016, 09:01:41 PM »
I use a camera to stop time and record the best moments of people's lives so they can relive those moments forever and ever.

Oh man, that's excellent! What a great description. A+ Shipwreckgirl.

I must point out, though, that my job description is to keep your username from happening.

JAYSLOL

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #163 on: May 11, 2016, 09:07:59 PM »
Previous job:  I facilitated the recreational capture, murder and dismemberment of several aquatic species.

Fudge102

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #164 on: May 11, 2016, 09:27:12 PM »
Naval Aviator, specifically Fighter Pilot.

PhysicianOnFIRE

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #165 on: May 11, 2016, 09:49:34 PM »
I keep patients safe and comfortable throughout their perioperative experience.

Nords

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #166 on: May 11, 2016, 10:15:16 PM »
Naval Aviator, specifically Fighter Pilot.
I hope "Fudge102" is not your call sign!

Taran Wanderer

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #167 on: May 11, 2016, 11:37:42 PM »
I don't make cheese, I make cheese factories.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2016, 09:57:20 PM by Taran Wanderer »

Le Dérisoire

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #168 on: May 12, 2016, 07:05:10 AM »
People ask me if they should do something, and when I tell them they should not, they get mad at me and do it anyway.

DCKatie09

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #169 on: May 12, 2016, 07:08:53 AM »
I help law students who want to help others.

Or, if you ask my sister, I'm a professional dream crusher.

Schaefer Light

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #170 on: May 12, 2016, 08:17:34 AM »
When it comes right down to it....I stare at a screen, type things on a keyboard, and occasionally talk to people.

Chranstronaut

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #171 on: May 12, 2016, 08:37:53 AM »
I make tiny fake parts for tiny fake cars and then throw all of my work straight in the trash because it wasn't faster.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #172 on: May 12, 2016, 09:50:58 AM »
https://xkcd.com/722/


Yup, that's pretty much the same for me, for my primary work duty.  In a small business like my employer, though, I wear a *LOT* of hats.  Let me see if I can come up with an apt description:

I make sure a bunch of computers talk to each other the right way so that people can save a ton of money by buying stuff used.

esq

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #173 on: May 12, 2016, 11:44:29 AM »
I am expected to ensure that 5th graders that read on a 3rd grade level pass high stakes math and reading tests with cryptic, convoluted questions that even educated adults have trouble with. (Also, most of these kids live in hovels and whoever takes care of them doesn't give a rat's ass about education.)

icemodeled

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #174 on: May 12, 2016, 12:50:11 PM »
I sit at a desk all day with no windows and stare at the computer screen looking for new insurance customers, making calls(basically cold calls) and try to get people to switch companies.

It's very, very boring mundane work. I have only been working here for 4 months and it's extremely boring and not challenging. The time goes by slowly and it's the same about every day. I'm in insurance sales. Prior to this, we were self employed but due to a life change(moving) we needed temp jobs for awhile. We expected to work for a year at least before the move, but things went quicker then planned and looks like we will be moving in only a couple months now. The job is easy and stress free mostly, so it's absolutely tolerable.. But I wouldn't want to do this forever.

Our self employed jobs are much better, we set our hours and keep busy. The day goes quick and it's a much more rewarding feel. Plus, my husband and I do it together which is great since we work very well together.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2016, 12:52:40 PM by icemodeled »

Shipwreckgirl

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #175 on: May 12, 2016, 02:53:06 PM »
I use a camera to stop time and record the best moments of people's lives so they can relive those moments forever and ever.

Oh man, that's excellent! What a great description. A+ Shipwreckgirl.

I must point out, though, that my job description is to keep your username from happening.

Haha - Good thing!  I don't actually wreck the ships, I'm just fascinated with them after they get wrecked :)

pdxbator

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #176 on: May 12, 2016, 04:18:23 PM »
I cure cancer using photos and electrons.

GuitarStv

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #177 on: May 12, 2016, 06:02:01 PM »
I work in a box, next to other boxes, inside a big box, pressing little boxes on a box in front of a box.

Primm

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #178 on: May 12, 2016, 06:53:59 PM »
I usually save babies lives, but if I can't save them I help their families and friends get as many smoochy sweet cuddles as possible before they die.

ahoy

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #179 on: May 12, 2016, 07:59:31 PM »
Job #1.  I go for a nice walk in parks and take a 4 legged creature with me.

tthree

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #180 on: May 12, 2016, 08:11:33 PM »
I play with poop.

hollis

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #181 on: May 12, 2016, 08:50:19 PM »
I fix up people's old bicycles and sometimes sell them bikes that they probably could buy for cheaper somewhere else.

pachnik

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #182 on: May 12, 2016, 08:54:00 PM »
I spot typos.

monarda

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #183 on: May 12, 2016, 09:15:18 PM »
I grow small creatures, sometimes in tubes and sometimes I feed them and try and kill them in petri dishes: the ones that survive I grow again in tubes.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #184 on: May 12, 2016, 09:56:04 PM »
When it comes right down to it....I stare at a screen, type things on a keyboard, and occasionally talk to people.

This.  Sadly, this.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #185 on: May 12, 2016, 10:00:49 PM »
I usually save babies lives, but if I can't save them I help their families and friends get as many smoochy sweet cuddles as possible before they die.

That is wonderful and sad at the same time.  We experienced the wonderful part when someone like you saved our baby's life.  She's in grade school now and incredible after a very rough start. 

Kaybee

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #186 on: May 12, 2016, 10:23:57 PM »
I make sure large numbers of people are kept hydrated while being seated in uncomfortable chairs for hours in a flying tincan. *uses 2 fingers to point out the location of emergency exits*

It wasn't anywhere on my radar as a career possibility while I grew up, it's not what people expect it to be like but I love it and am so happy to have a job I enjoy. :)

Dicey

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #187 on: May 13, 2016, 12:11:18 AM »
I figured that my response would have been taken, but I'm honored that likes of Dr. Doom and Spartana beat me to it. Because it bears repeating: Over.

MandyM

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #188 on: May 13, 2016, 07:09:11 AM »
I play with poop.

Pretty much this. The funny part is that I like my job more than people would guess.

2Cent

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #189 on: May 13, 2016, 08:07:15 AM »
I make quick software implementations of people's ideas so they can see that it really isn't a good idea.

Cellista

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #190 on: May 13, 2016, 08:10:33 AM »
I persuade foreign governments to be nice to Americans who want to invest lots of money in their countries.

[My first post - had to get in on this]

Basenji

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #191 on: May 13, 2016, 09:01:16 AM »
I calculate time and cost estimates so people can bitch that the project is too expensive and they need to meet an insane deadline even though they are submitting everything late; then, I manage the project to meet the impossible deadline within costs and know not to expect thanks.

I'm a red panda

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #192 on: May 13, 2016, 09:05:25 AM »
I do math.

Shinplaster

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #193 on: May 13, 2016, 09:16:02 AM »
I used to take numbers from lists of numbers to compile new lists of numbers that supported conclusions management had already made.

Now I sleep a lot, eat when I want, and routinely cut my fingers.  (learning stained glass).

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #194 on: May 13, 2016, 09:28:29 AM »
I calculate how big a fire can be and how much it costs to fix stuff so that it is not burnt any more.

zinethstache

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #195 on: May 13, 2016, 04:29:06 PM »
I see alot of full time investors... I hope you all are FIREd as well:)

I plot and scheme how India can take over the US one Web developer at a time and secondarily it is my job to keep our current web platform of 55 Windows 2003 Servers running until we are 100% moved off them.

It is a very tall order!

jmwagner5

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #196 on: May 14, 2016, 01:35:28 AM »
I make chocolate and then I taste test chocolate and then I improve the process by which we make more chocolate so it tastes even better! 

Primm

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #197 on: May 14, 2016, 02:13:44 AM »
I make chocolate and then I taste test chocolate and then I improve the process by which we make more chocolate so it tastes even better!

Swap? I'm pretty sure I'm already qualified.

SmallTownDA

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #198 on: May 14, 2016, 02:30:32 AM »
I make sure there's enough evidence that the person the police think committed the crime actually did it.

Alternatively: I help people who make bad decisions find temporary accommodations.

PAstash

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Re: How would you describe your job in one sentence?
« Reply #199 on: May 14, 2016, 03:18:36 AM »
months of bordem with moments of terror.