We make roughly the same base salary, although he makes a ton of OT. We have only 1 joint account, but I don't even think he knows how to access statements - I pay all bills, do all shopping, set all budgets, calculate all FIRE scenarios. The only place he spends is on hobbies - so I let him know where he is at each month based on a yearly budget. We don't review, but based on my budget I may say something like, "hey can we push out new tires until the Spring, because we had to spend more than we budgeted on a water heater".
We each get $80 cash in our wallets to spend on whatever - sometimes we'll spend it on eating out together (or ice cream!), or carry it over and take out less cash the next month - we don't save or accumulate it. But then again, we have set budgets for stuff like clothes, hobbies, haircuts....because those are expenses that are going to happen anyway.
We don't buy gifts for each other. We did for the first couple of years, but once we agreed to stop, holidays were less stressful and actually enjoyed more...besides, we're both terrible gift buyers. On occassion, we may buy a "I was thinking of you" item, but it's small and usually cash.
How we handle OT/Bonuses: All Bonuses go into Savings. For OT some of it can be spent. Earlier, DH thought he should be entitled to spend it all since he had to work 'extra' to earn it. However, I pointed out that when he works the crazy hours, I now have 100% responsibility for the house, walking the dog, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, etc., plus I don't get to have dinner with my hubby, have to cook separate meals, etc. - so it's also stressful on me, too. Once we had this discussion, we agreed that we would discuss what purchase he wanted to make with the OT and then bank the rest - it's worked out much better for us both.
I think if you're both 'shopping' (groceries, stuff, whatever), I think you probably should sit down and review/discuss so that you stay aligned.
Biggest take-away....talk things through and look for compromise and harmony.