Wow, seeing all this great advice has really given me some perspective on my situation, so thank you all!
I take the metro to work, which is downtown. I don't receive a subsidy, but I can deduct $130/mo pretax for public transit. I could take the bus but it would double my commute. I haven't seriously considered biking the 8 miles to work because the dress code at my job is formal business attire and I don't want to increase the wear and tear on my suits.
Seeing as how the more affordable houses out in the burbs involve hellish commutes and significantly higher transportation costs, it seems like staying close to the city, at least within the beltway, is probably best. Since that raises the cost of buying significantly, the question remains whether it's worth it to try and buy or just rent. The recent MMM article on this question seems to favor renting, but there are some things about home ownership that sound very appealing. The tax deduction, the stable payment schedule of a fixed-rate mortgage, the possibility of living close to rent free one day (minus property taxes and condo fees), and the fact that you're building equity. I guess the frustrating thing about DC is it feels like this option isn't available without foregoing other savings priorities, namely early retirement!!
For those that did buy a house here and didn't use FHA (which sounds like a promising idea), how long did it take you to save enough for a down payment? At my income level, it seems like the opportunity cost is too much.
Places within PG county like Greenbelt appear to be the exception to high housing costs, but that seems to come at the cost of higher crime. I know I'm generalizing, but most of the people I know that live or have lived in PG county for the cheaper housing have been mugged and dealt with vandalism.
Maybe Old Greenbelt is different. Is crime high in the area, or does Old Greenbelt buck that trend?
Btw, I think I've heard about this co-op in Old Greenbelt. How did you buy it? I've never looked closely at co-ops because I've always heard the wait lists are long and you have to know and impress the right people. Is that the case at your co-op?
In the spirit of full disclosure, yes, I don't like DC that much and some of my complaints are not monetary in nature. There is much about the culture that grates on me. The constant networking and judging of people by "what they do" and whether they can be of use instead of who they are as a whole.
People seem so focused on appearing important and busy that they usually divide up their free time into 2 hour increments, moving from social event to social event (to make things more annoying, these events are usually some stupid brunch or cocktail thing). It feels like in order to have a social life here you have to make appointments with people far in advance and then maybe they'll pencil you into their schedule. I am not saying these qualities are absent outside of DC, but it seems to stand out more than other places I've lived. I should also add that I don't find people who have grown up here to have these tendencies as much, but they are harder to find, and the transient nature of this area has meant that most of the people I meet are not from here and probably won't be staying.
That being said, maybe there are some great people I can meet through the google group!
In reality, I think I am doing fine, but I feel like I'm not. Perhaps it's because happiness is not so much about our absolute well-being, but what our standing is relative to others. There are so many well-educated, high-earning, high-powered people here that I sometimes forget what I have and how fortunate I am. And maybe I'm just frustrated because I see my peers purchasing houses and I feel pressure to do so too. Either way, these comments have really helped me to flesh out things.