How to Self Motivate to Work More?

[TheFrenchCat]

So, I'm primarily a stay at home mom, but I work a side job of at least 16 hours a week from home.  Those 16 hours are flexibly scheduled and I'm allowed to work flex time whenever else I want.  I'm allowed to work up to 129 hours per month and no more than 40 hours a week, since the company doesn't want to pay benefits. 

My question is how would you go about self motivating to work more hours when work is available?  I'm really bad at self motivating, so I'm not sure it's going to be as easy as just saying I'll work a certain number of hours a day extra.  Also, since I only make about $14 an hour, it makes it seem like it's not worth the effort.  But if I make the effort, it seems like any little bit extra helps, right?  We're fortunate that we can easily live and save on just my husband's salary, so mine is all just extra.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[kay02]

I'm self employed and can kind of make as much as I'm willing to and sometimes have issues with this.  It's silly but just rewarding myself or not letting myself do certain little things until I've done some work helps sometimes.  Can't eat lunch until two hours of work is done, etc.

[Linea_Norway]

So, I'm primarily a stay at home mom, but I work a side job of at least 16 hours a week from home.  Those 16 hours are flexibly scheduled and I'm allowed to work flex time whenever else I want.  I'm allowed to work up to 129 hours per month and no more than 40 hours a week, since the company doesn't want to pay benefits. 

My question is how would you go about self motivating to work more hours when work is available?  I'm really bad at self motivating, so I'm not sure it's going to be as easy as just saying I'll work a certain number of hours a day extra.  Also, since I only make about $14 an hour, it makes it seem like it's not worth the effort.  But if I make the effort, it seems like any little bit extra helps, right?  We're fortunate that we can easily live and save on just my husband's salary, so mine is all just extra.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Can your work provide you with time off after working overtime? I have always worked in companies with flixe time, which means an extra hour worked one day is another hour on my PTO account. Every now and then I could take a day off.

[jac941]

In my experience willpower is not sufficient for behavior change. It’s this false premise that people tout as a solution to all problems. For example, you want to lose weight, so just use your willpower or motivation to eat better and exercise. You want more money, use your willpower to motivate yourself to work more. It turns out that doesn’t work.

To make life changes - to work more, eat well, exercise, stop smoking, etc - habits must be changed. Habits tend to be subconscious behaviors and drive the vast majority of things we do and decisions we make. If you want to work more, you need to think of it as a habit problem, not a motivation problem.

There are many people who can do a better job than me at explaining how to build a good habit to meet your goals, but the short version is that you need a few things - a cue that makes you “automatically” start the behavior, a situation that enables the behavior (makes it easy and eliminates  barriers / excuses), and an immediate reward for the behavior (a paycheck isn’t usually immediate enough).

So if you really and truly want to work more, you need to make it a habit to work certain times that add up to the number of hours that you want to work. And you need to reward yourself for working if the work itself isn’t rewarding.  The nature of the flexible schedule makes this harder.

I recently listened to a good podcast about this (I listen to podcasts as a “reward” while walking the dog - which makes that a strong habit):
https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/creatures-of-habit/

Or if you prefer reading, these are really basic, but give you a good idea on how to create a habit:
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/08/16/747332849/fresh-starts-guilty-pleasures-and-other-pro-tips-for-sticking-to-good-habits
https://jamesclear.com/three-steps-habit-change

You should also consider if you really want to work more or if you just think you “should” work more. It might not make sense to work more for $14 / hr. Maybe that time is better spent getting a skill that would result in a more interesting job that pays more and that you’d feel more “motivated” to do because the work is more intrinsically rewarding.

[TheFrenchCat]

So, I'm primarily a stay at home mom, but I work a side job of at least 16 hours a week from home.  Those 16 hours are flexibly scheduled and I'm allowed to work flex time whenever else I want.  I'm allowed to work up to 129 hours per month and no more than 40 hours a week, since the company doesn't want to pay benefits. 

My question is how would you go about self motivating to work more hours when work is available?  I'm really bad at self motivating, so I'm not sure it's going to be as easy as just saying I'll work a certain number of hours a day extra.  Also, since I only make about $14 an hour, it makes it seem like it's not worth the effort.  But if I make the effort, it seems like any little bit extra helps, right?  We're fortunate that we can easily live and save on just my husband's salary, so mine is all just extra.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Can your work provide you with time off after working overtime? I have always worked in companies with flixe time, which means an extra hour worked one day is another hour on my PTO account. Every now and then I could take a day off.

Our work place doesn't work like that, but they're super flexible in providing time off anyways.  So I can take off nearly as much as I want, as long as I make up enough work.

[TheFrenchCat]

In my experience willpower is not sufficient for behavior change. It’s this false premise that people tout as a solution to all problems. For example, you want to lose weight, so just use your willpower or motivation to eat better and exercise. You want more money, use your willpower to motivate yourself to work more. It turns out that doesn’t work.

To make life changes - to work more, eat well, exercise, stop smoking, etc - habits must be changed. Habits tend to be subconscious behaviors and drive the vast majority of things we do and decisions we make. If you want to work more, you need to think of it as a habit problem, not a motivation problem.

There are many people who can do a better job than me at explaining how to build a good habit to meet your goals, but the short version is that you need a few things - a cue that makes you “automatically” start the behavior, a situation that enables the behavior (makes it easy and eliminates  barriers / excuses), and an immediate reward for the behavior (a paycheck isn’t usually immediate enough).

So if you really and truly want to work more, you need to make it a habit to work certain times that add up to the number of hours that you want to work. And you need to reward yourself for working if the work itself isn’t rewarding.  The nature of the flexible schedule makes this harder.

I recently listened to a good podcast about this (I listen to podcasts as a “reward” while walking the dog - which makes that a strong habit):
https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/creatures-of-habit/

Or if you prefer reading, these are really basic, but give you a good idea on how to create a habit:
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/08/16/747332849/fresh-starts-guilty-pleasures-and-other-pro-tips-for-sticking-to-good-habits
https://jamesclear.com/three-steps-habit-change

You should also consider if you really want to work more or if you just think you “should” work more. It might not make sense to work more for $14 / hr. Maybe that time is better spent getting a skill that would result in a more interesting job that pays more and that you’d feel more “motivated” to do because the work is more intrinsically rewarding.

This is good advice, I'll look into those links.

And yes I'm not sure if I just feel like I should work more.  I just have no idea what kind of work I might like to do more and still have it work around my duties as a mom.  This job, while it doesn't pay great, is so flexible that I can take care of my daughter and support my husband's career.

[ender]

In my experience willpower is not sufficient for behavior change. It’s this false premise that people tout as a solution to all problems. For example, you want to lose weight, so just use your willpower or motivation to eat better and exercise. You want more money, use your willpower to motivate yourself to work more. It turns out that doesn’t work.

To make life changes - to work more, eat well, exercise, stop smoking, etc - habits must be changed. Habits tend to be subconscious behaviors and drive the vast majority of things we do and decisions we make. If you want to work more, you need to think of it as a habit problem, not a motivation problem.

+1

I learned this a while back from Ramit Sethi - he often talks/writes about how we focus on motivation when really that's not overall meaningful for long term changes.

[mastrr]

I don't think you should feel the need to push yourself to work more just for works sake.  People are naturally motivated to do things that are a high priority to them and deemed important.  Being a good mother and the formation of your children is vastly more important than any career that you could have given your financial situation.  Just go with the flow and do the things you are drawn to.

[AMandM]

since I only make about $14 an hour, it makes it seem like it's not worth the effort.  But if I make the effort, it seems like any little bit extra helps, right?  We're fortunate that we can easily live and save on just my husband's salary, so mine is all just extra.

My question would be, why are you working for money? I think you need a better (more specific) reason than "any little bit extra helps."  What does it help you do?  Can you formulate a goal towards which your earnings are directed? Having a clear purpose might make it easier to see the value of your work.

The flexibility of your work is a mixed blessing, imo. It's a necessity if you want to work around caring for your daughter, but it's not conducive to forming habits. Habits are HARD with small children around!

[TheFrenchCat]

since I only make about $14 an hour, it makes it seem like it's not worth the effort.  But if I make the effort, it seems like any little bit extra helps, right?  We're fortunate that we can easily live and save on just my husband's salary, so mine is all just extra.

My question would be, why are you working for money? I think you need a better (more specific) reason than "any little bit extra helps."  What does it help you do?  Can you formulate a goal towards which your earnings are directed? Having a clear purpose might make it easier to see the value of your work.

The flexibility of your work is a mixed blessing, imo. It's a necessity if you want to work around caring for your daughter, but it's not conducive to forming habits. Habits are HARD with small children around!

Our two main goals are saving for FI and saving for our daughter's college fund.  Both of which will take almost 15 years or so.  Thankfully our daughter is only 5, so we have time, though we have started already. 

Once she's in school for real, I'm hoping to work extra at specific times, such as after lunch or after certain chores..  But yeah, keeping myself organized while she's around is really hard.

@mastrr, that sounds great but I'd feel guilty if I don't feel like I'm pulling my weight.  Mothering doesn't feel like that much of an accomplishment, even though it's a lot of work:(
I don't think you should feel the need to push yourself to work more just for works sake.  People are naturally motivated to do things that are a high priority to them and deemed important.  Being a good mother and the formation of your children is vastly more important than any career that you could have given your financial situation.  Just go with the flow and do the things you are drawn to.

[Christof]

To me some of the relevant questions would be:

How much time are you spending more on child care duties than your husband is and how does that compare to time worked for money?  Simplified, if your husband spends 40 hours working, but you spend 40 hours on childcare plus 16 hours on working, that sounds frustrating. However, if he spends 40 hours on working and 16 hours on childcare, while you do it the other way round, that sounds fairer.

The other question is how these 16 hours are structured. 96 times 10 minutes is lot different from 4 times 4 hours. My wife and I are both working full time. During these times of covid-19 I take care of our son from 7AM to 2PM and my wife takes over after that. I can do some things during this time for work, but I learnt I better spend this time on my son and domestic duties, because for work it is just too fragmented.

An other issue is your husband‘s salary. I don‘t know you, but it would frustrate me a lot more to work for $16 when my partner is making $100 than when they were making $20. Instead of doing something similar for a lot less I would prefer to do something else that doesn‘t compare as easily, like Etsy or volunteering or gardening...

[Fish Sweet]

You don't describe the nature of the work you do or how you feel about the work itself, and I think that's a big piece of the puzzle in figuring out how/if/why you should work more at this job. A couple of things I'd consider in figuring out how you jumpstart your work ethic/decide if it's even worth doing:

• How much do you enjoy the work that you do.  Now, I do use "enjoy" in a work context lol. Is it satisfying but repetitive? Extremely annoying?  Almost unbearably boring?  Actually quite fun, when you can get in the groove?  Does it FEEL worth your time to do more of it?
• What do you think is preventing you from being motivated about working more?  Lack of focus?  Lack of $$ feeling worthwhile?  Too busy with household tasks?  It stresses you out when you try working more?  Just plain forget until it's too late?
• Do you have TIME to work more?  You're raising a child, and that's a time sucking affair. Do you already feel stretched thin? Or maybe the opposite - are you spending a couple of hours every day just mindlessly browsing social media and you want to fill that time?

[life_travel]

I find I am more motivated to pay off loans than to save, so I would buy another property or if you don't want headaches of real estate, borrow to buy shares , this way I ( personally) would feel I " have to" work a few extra hours to service it. Just little mental tricks I play .. Of course others may feel it's a really stupid idea :)

[cool7hand]

Check out Gretchen Rubin's and James Clear's work on habit formation.

Check out the Tony Robbins TED talk on the six human needs. Which are your motivating needs and how do you link them to work to find more purpose in your work?

[TheFrenchCat]

To me some of the relevant questions would be:

How much time are you spending more on child care duties than your husband is and how does that compare to time worked for money?  Simplified, if your husband spends 40 hours working, but you spend 40 hours on childcare plus 16 hours on working, that sounds frustrating. However, if he spends 40 hours on working and 16 hours on childcare, while you do it the other way round, that sounds fairer.

The other question is how these 16 hours are structured. 96 times 10 minutes is lot different from 4 times 4 hours. My wife and I are both working full time. During these times of covid-19 I take care of our son from 7AM to 2PM and my wife takes over after that. I can do some things during this time for work, but I learnt I better spend this time on my son and domestic duties, because for work it is just too fragmented.

An other issue is your husband‘s salary. I don‘t know you, but it would frustrate me a lot more to work for $16 when my partner is making $100 than when they were making $20. Instead of doing something similar for a lot less I would prefer to do something else that doesn‘t compare as easily, like Etsy or volunteering or gardening...

I'd say I watch our daughter 40 hours a week and work about 8 hours during that time.  My husband watches her about 8 hours while I work.

The hours I'm scheduled need to be at least in 30 minute chunks, though I normally do an hour.  Flex time can be whatever I want it to be. 

My husband makes about $30 per hour, if that matters.  For how easy and flexible my work is, I find the pay fair, just not very motivating. 

You don't describe the nature of the work you do or how you feel about the work itself, and I think that's a big piece of the puzzle in figuring out how/if/why you should work more at this job. A couple of things I'd consider in figuring out how you jumpstart your work ethic/decide if it's even worth doing:

• How much do you enjoy the work that you do.  Now, I do use "enjoy" in a work context lol. Is it satisfying but repetitive? Extremely annoying?  Almost unbearably boring?  Actually quite fun, when you can get in the groove?  Does it FEEL worth your time to do more of it?
• What do you think is preventing you from being motivated about working more?  Lack of focus?  Lack of $$ feeling worthwhile?  Too busy with household tasks?  It stresses you out when you try working more?  Just plain forget until it's too late?
• Do you have TIME to work more?  You're raising a child, and that's a time sucking affair. Do you already feel stretched thin? Or maybe the opposite - are you spending a couple of hours every day just mindlessly browsing social media and you want to fill that time?

I don't enjoy the work that much; it's repetitive and a bit boring while also being a tad stressful in that it requires intense concentration. 

I think it's a combination of a lack of focus and not feeling like the money's enough.

I kind of feel like I have time, but also feel like I don't.  Apart from taking care of my daughter, I spend a lot of time tending my depression, which I'd prefer to spend working, or doing anything else really.  So a lot of my time is spent reading in order to distract my brain.  I've just recently restarted a treatment that's very effective (though it has awful side effects), so hopefully that will help once my brain has readjusted. 

[Linea_Norway]

I used to have a coworker who was often put to work on very stressful projects. But he had a family and didn't want to prioritize work over his sparetime. He was very strict in it. Worked only his official work hours and was very dedicated, but did no overtime work. Still, he was appreciated for what he did when he was at work.