Newly divorced

[Saho1974]

Hi,

I have been reading this forum for a couple of years and today I registered.
This is where I am right now:
Iīm living  in Sweden meaning there are other circumstances according to retirement and taxes among other things.
42 years old with 4 kids in school. School and lunches are free here. Thatīs great.
I work in a school too, as an assistant principal earning about   65ī dollars a year( before taxes which is quit high here).
I have 51īin stocks and no loans. My take home pay is 3,8īa month.
I have a two year old car payed off and live in a rental 2br 2ba. My ex husband took over the house and gave me money.
Here it is more common that you live in an appartment that you rent, regardless living in a big city or a small town.
I live near the capital and the rent is 1176, the only thing I pay is electric and parking (25 dollar/month).
The kids live every other week at my place.
Food is about 400/ month, internet and cable 80, cellphones for 3 people 100.
We donīt pay for health as you are doing, itīs in the taxes.
I save just 300 dollars a month right now because I had to start a new home, but I will definitely increase that number.

I have been divorced for less than a year now and starting thinking what to do next.
By a small house and not having any funds left and a loan or staying?
Then all my income would go towards housing and bills and I could not save that much or do what I think is necessary for my life(travelling).
We are quite cramped in our apartment 95 square feet and five people. The kids say they are fine sharing rooms and I live in the living room. It is a nice apartment, newly renovated and in a good neighborhood, so I think the best thing is to stay for now.
I am studying to become a principal at the university too, Itīs a paid for education which is great, after that I can take a more well- paid job and perhaps rent or buy something larger. I just started so it is three years away, but then my oldest starting college so perhaps we donīt need a larger house by then.

[former player]

Hello Saho, and welcome to the forums.  There is something of a Scandinavian contingent here, so you should be able to find some people who are familiar with the financial dynamics of living in Sweden.

You mention take home pay of 3,800 per month, list expenses of 1,781 and then say you are only saving 300 a month, leaving a gap of 1,719 per month.  Even with expenses you haven't mentioned (the car is certainly one) that is quite a lot of wriggle room to spend on the things that matter most to you - which include saving for the future things that will matter most.

You have articulated the issues about renting/buying pretty clearly.  For the moment, you are less than a year out from divorce, the kids are happy with the 2 bed apartment and you have spent money to make your current home comfortable.  I think that adds up to not rushing into making any more changes, but giving yourself, your kids and your finances some stability in your current situation.

[Goldielocks]

One possible idea (out of the box) is to look to rent a room or tiny apartment in the same place that you are renting now, and allowing the oldest to have their own space.  Could be just a room rental in a neighbor's apartment that you trust, or a whole little suite.   

4 kids, who are likely 5-15 years of age in a 2 bedroom apartment is a lot for now, but you won't need the extra space in 4 years or so... so maybe a temporary rental solution could work?   Are any required to do military service soon? (away from home)

[larmando]

How old are your kids and what gender breakdown? 

Note that the genders might matter a lot less in Europe than in the US for room-sharing considerations.

[Saho1974]

Thank you!

For now I will stay here and focus on my education and career and save more money.
The boys will turn 16, 14 and 11 this year and the girl turns 8.
And as larmando said :here in Sweden gender matter less than in the US for room- sharing, the oldest boys are in one room divided by a foldable wall and the youngest sharing one room sleeping in a bunk- bed.

I'm thinking that I can build a proper wall in the oldest kids room since it has two doors and it seems doable.
We donĻt have military service here but the oldest plans for college/university in three years.

Itīs not very expensive to rent an appartment here(if itīs not new) but it is hard to get in to the market. I was lucky to get one, I wrote a personal letter and got one in 6 weeks, otherwise you can stand in the line for several years to get one.