One fantasy I have for my unborn child is to tell them when they are 3 that if they learn to read they can decide which activities we do on the weekend. That way they will be self motivated. Don't know if that's realistic or not.
Not realistic. Three year olds aren't very good at picking activities, nor do they have much concept of time. They're good at making the choice between two things. Never ask a toddler what he wants to do this afternoon; instead, say "We can either go to the playground or the swimming pool after our nap. Which do you want?" Don't ask what the child wants for lunch; instead, ask, "Do you want a peanut butter sandwich or leftover spaghetti?" Plus, all the motivation in the world won't make a child "ready to read" if his or her brain isn't quite ready.
Instead, as others have said, read to the child. At about 6 months old a child is ready to sit on a parent's lap and enjoy books together. When you begin, don't think so much about actual reading. Instead, point to pictures and talk about them:
Do you see a cow in this picture? Oh, yes! There he is. Look, that boy's wearing a red shirt. Can you point to red? Just look and talk. You'll know when it's time to begin actual reading. Don't worry about having a big collection of books; kids love repetition.
At the same time, emphasize crayons and artwork. At about 18 months a child can hold a fat crayon; at about three years old he will be able to form "closed shapes" (for example, the letter O). When you cook, bring the high chair into the kitchen and give the child paper and crayons. Don't say, "This is beautiful!", which is vague. Instead emphasize details: "Look at all the yellow you used!" At about three, start giving your child papers with hand-drawn chunky letters -- start with the letters of his or her name -- and let the child color those letters.
About the time the child starts school, he or she will be ready to enjoy chapter books (but won't be ready to read them independently for another year or two). Start slowly with chapter books and discuss them together. For example, when you finish your nightly chapter, talk about what happened -- this is the beginning of analysis. The next night, take a minute to remind yourself of "where you stopped". When the child is able to read chapter books, take turns: You read a chapter, the child reads a chapter -- at that stage, reading is not automatic yet, and having half the chapters read out loud "keeps the child moving".
Let your child see you reading. Set an example.
Leaving the topic of reading:
Limit screen time -- not that you can't ever use it, but don't put a TV in the kid's bedroom. When you do allow TV, lean towards nature documentaries.
Take nature walks and talk about what you see. In fact, talk. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Discuss things with your child. Someone told me years ago that if you talk to your toddlers, they'll talk to you when they're teens -- I don't know that my two kids prove that point, but they talk to me non-stop, and their teen years were really quite problem-free.
Use your library's kids' programs. Expanding literacy beyond your own walls is a great idea.
Look into memberships at children's museums, zoos, and other educational places. These are well worth the cost.
Play simple board games. This teaches turn-taking, counting, sportsmanship. The simplest games tend to be all luck, so the kid has a chance to win.
This stuff is tough when the kids are small; it can be never-ending, and it can take a while to see rewards. Keep at it. Last year was the year I'd dreaded: My kids were both in college. Turned out great: They were both on full scholarship; now the oldest has graduated and starts her new job in a couple weeks, and the youngest is moving towards those same accolades. It all pays off.
+1 on letting them fail. Which for me means to mostly get out of their way once they have the fundamentals down. If they want to play video games all day, I can't really stop them. Sure I can take it way, forbid it, and make them do something else but if they are not interested in it, it's like pushing on a string.
I don't know that I exactly agree with the word "fail", but I certainly believe in allowing natural consequences to occur. Examples are easy with older kids: You put off starting your report, and now you're stressed. No, I won't let you stay out of school or email the teacher asking for more time. You spent all your allowance and now you don't have money to go to the movies with your friends. Too bad; maybe next weekend. However, natural consequences work with little kids too: You left your book outside. It rained, and now it's ruined. You didn't clean up your room this morning, so now we can't go outside until it's done.
For us, success has much more to do with their being happy, healthy, and kind individuals than the particulars of their employment. We're also hoping to fully fund their educations and allow them to live at home until established.
Not many people are happy if they're not comfortably employed, so -- yeah -- I pushed academic achievement.
How do you teach a 3 year old to think in terms of numbers?
You talk about numbers in real-life terms to which they can relate.
I want to buy five apples -- help me count them. While we walk to church, let's count the red cars we see. Time to clean up; how many toys can you pick up while I count to ten? Build me a Lego tower ten blocks high. At first you count out loud; as the child becomes more capable, have him or her count for you. You talk about numbers on the clock. You ask the child how many plates you should put out for dinner. You let him count out loud to you in the car. One day -- hopefully about age 5-6 -- he will realize on his own that numbers "repeat".
This may seem overly simplistic, but you have to start at the beginning.
And one last piece of advice: don't praise kids. Don't praise their achievements, but don't don't praise their efforts, either. Just describe their actions and the effects thereof, and let them do the evaluating.
Praise (don't you appreciate your achievements being noticed?), but be specific in your praise. Don't say,
"You're the prettiest little girl in the whole world!" It's probably not true, it's not an achievement, and it's probably not what you really want to emphasize. Instead, praise specific achievements:
"Wow! You made 100 on your spelling test this week." Praise improvement:
"You're really doing well in swim lessons -- you swam the whole length of the pool without stopping today." And don't compare:
"You're the second bests on your baseball team!" Kids already compare themselves too much.
And reward, but don't over-reward. A good report card might deserve ordering pizza for dinner or a new book, but it doesn't deserve a new cell phone or a trip to Disneyworld -- and, yeah, I know parents who do this. $100 for every A -- yeah, people really do that.