Author Topic: How to Potty Train my Son?  (Read 6392 times)

Credaholic

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How to Potty Train my Son?
« on: September 19, 2014, 03:54:15 PM »
I've seen lots of posts that suggest potty training to save money, and would love some tips on making it happen! Go cold turkey off the diapers? Keep diapers for trips out of the house? Underwear? Pantless while learning? Ask them a million times if they have to pee, or let them tell you? Rewards system, etc.? Would appreciate any and all advice on what really worked for you - we're ready!

GizmoTX

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2014, 04:47:07 PM »
Don't go cold turkey or pantless -- you'll make everyone miserable.
First of all, your child has to be ready to make the change, meaning the ability to control his/her functions & the motivation to want to. It's also about forming a new habit over time. Here's what worked for us:

Concentrate first on daytime potty usage. Replace the diapers with the thick trainer cloth pants -- you want the child to feel wet & uncomfortable, yet contain the mess. Use pull-ups or diapers for night time, because a drowsy child can't wake up fast enough to cope with using the potty in the beginning. Pick a time to start when you won't be making many out of the house excursions.

When we were ready to start, I told my son to pick out 7 inexpensive items at the dollar or party store, something we'd never done before or since. If his trainer pants stayed dry the entire day, then he would get one of them. It took him 3 days to accomplish this & he was so proud of himself. It took him about 10 more days to earn the rest of them. At this point, we got him an item that he wanted, a wooden whistle that sounds like a train's. This required 7 dry days to earn & he tracked this with stickers. By the end of this, his new habit was firmly established & there was no more need for rewards.

There were a few #2 accidents that baffled me, until I realized that this wasn't as uncomfortable for him. We had him handle the deposit into the toilet (under supervision of course) & popped him into the shower to hose him off. He quickly decided this was not enjoyable.

When we noticed that our son consistently stayed dry overnight, we eliminated the pull-ups. Pull-ups are preferable to diapers at this stage so that a child can more easily take care of business.




BeanCounter

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2014, 05:18:15 PM »
We are potty training our second now so I will throw in my 2 cents. I learned from our nanny who has 45 years experience with this.
- start BEFORE 2 around 18-20 mo by getting a little potty and have them sit on it buck naked before bath while the bath water runs. Do this every night at the same time. It may take a few weeks before "something happens". It may also take an m&m or two to get the to sit for awhile. Eventually it will happen and the light will go on! You will notice that they can MAKE it happen!
- once they can "turn on the faucit" add a potty session before afternoon nap.
- then you may star to notice that they go longer without wetting their diaper. That's when it's time to use the timer. Put on thick underwear and set timer to go to the potty every 60min or so.
-wait to night and nap train unti they are waking up dry or "warm".
- #2 can take longer especially for boys. After a few accidents I would do what the previous poster said- you clean it up and take a bath.
- be consistent but patient do not make it a battle and DO NOT USE PULL UPS
-this method takes longer because you start younger than most do, but you will use less diapers. If you wait too long it will be like everything else with a 2.5-3 year old - a battle of wills and who is in charge. Start early and slowly it's like "well this is just what we do" and it's no big deal. When you wait and make a big show of "NOW YOU'RE GOING TO POTTY TRAIN" you run the risk of them saying what toddlers say best "NO"!

DaKini

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2014, 01:19:11 AM »
We did not train classically but supported our son in his own pace (like encouraging him).
You can save yourself and your child the hassle and stress (and long term psychological effects of the emotional pressure you unavoidably will apply).
Your child will learn this himself once it is ready and will have an inner motivation to"do it like the big ones". It will just need your support.

There is plenty of scientific evidence out there that the getting-dry-process could not be accelerated and too early training even slows the process.

Gray Matter

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2014, 05:16:54 AM »
Since your motive is to save money on diapers, you'll want to do this much earlier than I did, so I can't offer any advice there.  But if you want effortless, I can help.  I have a "let the child lead" philosophy (mainly because I'm a lazy parent and am not interested in spending days/weeks/months "training" my kid to do something that they'll figure out on their own over time).  I waited until my kids were good and ready and let their natural curiosity and desire to grow up lead them to it, and then it literally happened overnight with no accidents (one kid) and maybe one or two accidents (other kid) and no battles and no incentives and better yet, no effort on my part.  :-)


Thegoblinchief

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2014, 06:29:29 AM »
I have almost no carpet, so when it seemed like they were ready (going from a totally dry diaper to a totally wet one very fast), we got them underwear and had them sit on the training potty for a few minutes every half hour.

Accidents happened, but when they got to the potty on time they got a treat. #2 is usually harder to learn than #1.

Stick with diapers or pull up (but diapers are much cheaper) overnight until they can reliably wake up dry. Once you ditch diapers, make sure you have a waterproof mattress and/or mattress pad.

Mega

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2014, 06:54:09 AM »
Other posters have made good points.

1 - read books. Go to the library and get lots of kid books on the potty.
2 - Potty training is much more about you than it is about them. You need to change your behaviour. You need to pay attention to them, learn their body's cycles, and get them on the potty before they go. When do they normally poop? An hour after each meal? Maybe only after breakfast and dinner? If you don't know this, you can't target your potty training. It does require much more attention than diapers, at least at first.

I recommend taking a week of vacation with the explicit intent of potty training, after you know your child's cycle. Then make sure the potty is available, and is the only option (e.g kid is pantless). Keep asking them to make you poo poo! And then give loud chears after they make their first snake / carrot.

Pullups are not a transition tool, as they feel like diapers to them. You will still need diapers/pullups during naps / night time at first. Pullups are easier to reuse.

La Bibliotecaria Feroz

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2014, 08:34:53 AM »
I like the one-day kick-start. It doesn't really get them trained in one day, but it gets them really familiar with the concept. It does help if they can go pantsless at home but wearing those Gerber training pants. We're in the process with my two-year-old and he can take off his undies, but not his shorts. We use Pull-Ups for occasional trips out of the house and overnight (I wanted to take the line that diapers were done forever).

Good luck!

mm1970

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2014, 09:19:45 AM »
We did the 3-day method where you go pantsless for 3 days (have to stay at home), and throw out the diapers.

My first son was potty trained in less than a day.  (he was 2 yr 9 mos, and hadn't shown interest before then)

Second one is 2 yr 2 mo.  He's showing more interest. Will probably do the pantsless/ one day thing at Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Mrs. The Butler

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2014, 09:28:37 AM »
The book Oh Crap Potty Training (it's a PDF you can buy online) was really helpful for us in figuring out what to do.  We started potty training each of our boys on the "early" side (around 19 months).  They both caught on quickly; our oldest is now 3, the younger is 20 months.  The 20-month-old has occasional accidents, but they're occasional - maybe 2-3 per week.

I don't know how old your child is, but the tough thing about lots of modern potty-training advice is to wait until your child is 3 or even 4 years old, and there will be all sorts of "scientific" or "psychological" evidence presented for why your child should be pooping himself when he's old enough to ride a bike.  The Oh Crap Potty Training book is nice because, even though it mentions what to do with older kids, the focus really is on getting kids trained before age two.

Several people have advocated for having some sort of underwear on the kid while potty training, but I disagree with that, at least for the first few days or so.  Kids who have been in diapers their whole life so far don't mind feeling wet when they pee or having their poop smushed up against them - gross as it is, to them it's normal.  You don't want them to think of underwear as "just another diaper."  With both of our boys, we've done lots of naked time, especially over the tile floor, but yes, there are occasional leaks on the carpet, and it's not the end of the world.  I'd much rather clean up a few leaks in the living room but be done with diapers.  :-)

Credaholic

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #10 on: September 20, 2014, 10:15:19 PM »
My son is almost two. We're a slightly weird case because he's been almost exclusively popping in then toilet for months. We cloth diaper, and his need to poop has always been really obvious, so I just pop him on the toilet. Now that he's older, his favorite word is No! and after a bout of particularly bad constipation the other day, he's been resisting. Changing poopy diapers again has me determined to train him. Even though we're cloth diapering already, the birth of our second means I'll need to invest in more diapers (we use one-size) unless I can train him soon.

I definitely think he'll do better with nothing on. I've bought him underwear which he just pees in. He's a little more hesitant about peeing in pants and having it run down his legs, so maybe a naked week is in order. And the kid loves being naked!

La Bibliotecaria Feroz

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2014, 08:24:47 AM »
My first child was much like yours--willing (often) to poop in the potty, but also willing to pee in his training pants and not really notice--at around the same age. He wore cloth training pants with a *lot* of guidance from me and was often dry, simply because he could hold his pee for several hours. I do think that we saved money by having him wear cloth training pants instead of cloth diapers, as I described in my blog post about it: http://frugalparagon.com/2014/07/15/potty-training-frugality/ He slept in diapers until he was three and a half because he peed too much to sleep in training pants (cloth or disposable). As he got older, he was able to sleep in two pairs of Gerber pants with a nylon cover over top. He did not initiate using the potty until he was almost three and a half; before that age, he would go only if escorted/instructed.

My second child, from the first day I put undies on him (at about 27 months), knew when they were wet and asked for dry ones. He refuses to wear Pull-Ups (even getting them on at night is a struggle) and was initiating at least some of the time by his current age of 28 months.

I suppose my point in telling you this story is not so much to dissuade you, as to say that in my experience, training a child who does not show some more signs of readiness is really a parenting commitment. It's one I do not regret, and YMMV. (We did not have a downstairs bathroom, and I think having to use the potty chair in the playroom hindered Big Brother's learning. As soon as we moved to a house with a downstairs powder room, he was all over it.)

vivian

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2014, 12:39:37 PM »
We are potty training our second now so I will throw in my 2 cents. I learned from our nanny who has 45 years experience with this.
- start BEFORE 2 around 18-20 mo by getting a little potty and have them sit on it buck naked before bath while the bath water runs. Do this every night at the same time. It may take a few weeks before "something happens". It may also take an m&m or two to get the to sit for awhile. Eventually it will happen and the light will go on! You will notice that they can MAKE it happen!
- once they can "turn on the faucit" add a potty session before afternoon nap.
- then you may star to notice that they go longer without wetting their diaper. That's when it's time to use the timer. Put on thick underwear and set timer to go to the potty every 60min or so.
-wait to night and nap train unti they are waking up dry or "warm".
- #2 can take longer especially for boys. After a few accidents I would do what the previous poster said- you clean it up and take a bath.
- be consistent but patient do not make it a battle and DO NOT USE PULL UPS
-this method takes longer because you start younger than most do, but you will use less diapers. If you wait too long it will be like everything else with a 2.5-3 year old - a battle of wills and who is in charge. Start early and slowly it's like "well this is just what we do" and it's no big deal. When you wait and make a big show of "NOW YOU'RE GOING TO POTTY TRAIN" you run the risk of them saying what toddlers say best "NO"!

This is basically what we did. And I am just about to officially call my 2.5 year old potty trained (at least for #1, he still refuses to use potty for #2, but tells us right away afterwards). When he turned 2, we bought him a potty. First it was in our living room and he just played on it. Then we moved it to the bathroom and encouraged him to sit on it before bath. All with no pressure, fine if he did, fine if he didn't.  When he actually peed in it the first time, we made a huge deal about it. We  gradually gave him more opportunities to use the potty. About 2 months ago, we decided he was ready to make the transition. Every 45 minutes, we made him sit on the potty. Obviously we couldn't actually make him go, but he had to sit there and try. The first few days he would resist, but he learned that sitting there for a few moments was required with some gentle yet firm insistence on our part. It wasn't long before he was peeing every time he sat down. Similarly, he's learned that he has to use the potty before we leave the house and after we get home-it's just what we do. Once he told us a couple of time in advance of needing to go, we started putting him in underwear for short periods of time-a morning here, an afternoon there. We didn't use any special underwear-just let him pick out something at Target. Eventually we realized that he would tell us in advance whenever he was in underwear, but would happily stay wet/dirty all day if he was in a diaper. Last week we made the switch completely and his only accidents have been when he was throwing a tantrum. He does still use a diaper for bedtime.

And all during the transition time, we made a big deal about what a big boy he was becoming and how proud we were of him. We let him show his underwear to everyone to get positive comments. We never made negative comments if he had an accident, but gave positive reinforcement when he went in the potty, told us in advance, and used the toilet on outings.

Meggslynn

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2014, 09:21:56 AM »
Our son started showing signs of readiness around 21 months. So we started with putting him on the potty before bath or when it looked like he was about to go we would take him to the potty. We also did a reward system for every time he went by using a sticker chart. After about a month of this we removed the pullups and put him in underwear. The first couple days were messy but since then it has been relatively smooth. He does regress after or during a sickness but that is all normal we just go back to the reward system.

Cheddar Stacker

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2014, 10:27:40 AM »
Two words: Pissing Outside.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Dhp_7X0u8s

This works. I'm sure it's off color for some of you, but it works. I thought my brother was crazy when he mentioned this to me but I saw my nephew excited to go. We did the same with our son a few months later and he loved it.

Just ask if they want to go inside or outside, they get so excited to go outside. We used to tell him to go "water" the tree. Three years later he still goes outside occasionally and says "I guess we don't need to water this tree today."

Credaholic

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2014, 03:59:37 PM »
Sorry to resurrect this old thread, but I wanted to thank everyone for their encouraging posts and give a quick update. It's been long enough now that I'm not worried about jinxing myself.

He's potty trained! He was fully trained within 3 weeks of the initial post. I just stopped doing diapers (except nap/night time) and didn't leave the house for a week in case of accidents. I found that the more I paranoidly asked if he needed to pee, the more stubborn he'd become. So I stopped asking. There were some accidents, but mostly when I stopped asking, he started telling me he needed to go. Also, Thomas the Train underwear that he got for his 2nd birthday sealed the deal. He likes to keep Thomas, James and Percy happy and dry!

When we did leave the house I used some Pull Ups my sister in law had given me. He peed in them some, but also asked to use the toilet, so we finally bit the bullet and just wore underwear, and besides some rogue spray, he hasn't had any accidents outside of the house. We also kicked diapers at nap time when I realized he was waking up dry. We just make peeing before nap a rule. He's waking up far dryer now in the mornings too, so I'm hopeful nighttime diapers will be gone soon too.

Thanks everyone!

MayDay

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2014, 05:11:17 PM »
For anyone else reading this, we did it cold turkey for day.  Night is a different animal, as that is all developmental and you can't force it.

So for daytime, we went pants-less, stayed at home, and  kept a potty within arms reach all day.  Within a few hours they caught on, though I had to be diligent for a couple days.  Then I just took them potty all.the.time when out of the house in early days, and did pants-less at home until they had it down pat. 

I think if you google "three day potty training" or similar you can find detailed directions.  But dragging it out is the worst thing you can do. 

La Bibliotecaria Feroz

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2014, 08:03:53 AM »
Good news, Credaholic! I wish I could say we never had accidents outside the house, but in fact Little Brother the Pull-Up resistor went through a phase where he wet himself EVERY TIME we went to the Y! He is getting better now, though.

Big Brother loves his Thomas underpants, too, but we had trouble convincing him to put the big Thomas picture in the back. He wanted to be able to see it :-). Little Brother still wears padded undies.

Krnten

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #18 on: November 23, 2014, 12:08:11 PM »
This is really helpful to read.  My daughter is 20 months and very interested (she sees a lot of toilet use at daycare and at home) but it's pretty tedious for us since she just gets on the pot and sits there and reads books and nothing happens!

It looks like it'll be a long road but it seems like we should just follow her interest as long as she has it.

Firefly

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Re: How to Potty Train my Son?
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2014, 06:55:21 PM »
Every kid is different. With my son we started at around 18 mo and he was pretty good about going #2 in the potty and he enjoyed peeing outside on everything - trees, grass, rocks, it was like a game to him. Around 2 we put him in undies and he did great - within few weeks he had very few accidents. With my daughter we started even earlier - no pressure, just putting her on a potty after she wakes up, before the bath. But she has no interest whatsoever. She is 18 mo and will not sit on a potty. Being wet or dirty does not bother her at all. Both of my kids have been in cloth diapers since birth. The truth is - if they are not ready, there is very little you can do. But work with your childcare provider. With my son there were a HUGE help!