Just thought I would give an update for anyone who's interested. After spending a couple days camping and touring around the North Bay, we decided to try really hard to find something in Sausalito, as we really wanted to avoid a big commute (didn't realize it was such a serious freeway!), and live on the water if possible. I also didn't really love San Rafael/Novato/etc... Nowhere near the small town, seaside thing Sausalito has going, and they just felt like little mall-filled suburbs hugging the freeway (no offence to anyone who lives there, just my first impression).
We rented a cheap short-term room in San Rafael for a month to give ourselves some time to find something we actually wanted, which turned out to be a great decision. A couple days after that we were able to make a deal on a small studio space in a houseboat, for MUCH less than anything else we had looked at. About 50% less than anything comparable in Sausalito, and about 25% cheaper than our backup plan of getting a 1 bedroom place in San Rafael. It's walking distance to her office, and literally on the water. The rental dates overlap by 2 weeks or so, so we will lose some money there, but in the long run we will save thousands vs what we would have spent if we just jumped into something right away.
I would highly recommend this for anyone looking to rent in a new city - get something for a month or 2 and give yourself the time to figure out what you want (and wait for it to come along), rather than jumping into a 1 year lease for something you might hate.
Aside from rent, we also found a gas station that is about 40 cents cheaper than the next best (long lines though), and a really cheap grocery store in Novato. It's good to know we won't have to rely on Safeway, Trade Joe's, etc, as I couldn't believe the prices there vs other parts of the country I've visited...
Thanks again for all who chimed in - it really helped us focus in on the right areas and make some much smarter choices. Much appreciated!